I'm kind of screwed up
Dark and depressing
My hearts been broken
Ripped from my chest
No one cares whether I live or die
Everyone gives up.
I tend to push people away
I'm scared of getting hurt
Haunted by my past
Scared of moving on
Trying to live for today.
I cry myself to sleep every night
Try to keep my composure during the day
Trying to make people believe I'm okay
Trying to hide that I'm dying inside.
Life's just a play, a drama
Learn your part well
No one will ask questions
Everyone will leave you be.
Secretly yearning for someone to understand me
Not crying for attention
Screaming for help
Knowing no one can hear me.
Knowing the pasts the past
The future lay ahead
There's nothing you can do, or say
You can't do it all over again.
I know it hurts to cry
So I scream instead
Cryings not one of my strengths.
I've been hurt too many times
I've watched too many people walk out of my life
So I'm scared to let my guard down
To let someone in
'Cause I love is a form of suicide
My suicide.
So, is it messed up to wish someone'd try
That someone wouldn't just give up
That someone would try to understand me
And maybe make my fears disappear.
'Cause I know I'm messed up
Cold and broken
But does that mean there's no one out there
No one to make me whole
'Cause love may be suicide
The death of me
But maybe, just maybe
It's more.