I hate you | Teen Ink

I hate you

June 11, 2011
By JessHaley PLATINUM, HIGHLAND, New York
JessHaley PLATINUM, HIGHLAND, New York
29 articles 26 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for Life


you made it clear
you left no doubt
now i want you gone
i want you out
of my heart and life
of my mind and dreams
of my expectations
out of everything

at first i thought id be OK
but i know that's just lies
I'm covering for my bOKen heart
and tearing in my eyes
I'm wishing that you'd go away
but i don't want you gone
there's now a void inside of me
that's wondering what went wrong


The author's comments:
This is a pretty odl peom, but I'm pretty much sure that i wrote it about my ex-boyfriend Vi, actually while we were still dating

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This article has 4 comments.


on Jul. 25 2011 at 1:28 pm
JessHaley PLATINUM, HIGHLAND, New York
29 articles 26 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for Life

*ex-bofriend DI (initials)

sakina GOLD said...
on Jul. 4 2011 at 10:43 am
sakina GOLD, Chennai, Other
18 articles 13 photos 173 comments

Favorite Quote:
A negative thinker See&#039;s a difficulty in every opportunity but a positive thinker sees an opportunity in every difficulty. So always think positive and u&#039;ll surely B successful in LIFE.<br /> -Hazrat Ali (A.S)

Hi! Ur poem is great no doubt about that.. But wat i would say is Instead of

My heart and life

u could've written

My heart and mind

And then

My dreams and life..

Just suggesting...:) And the rest is great..

And i would want you to write a happy poem ...TRy it it'l make you feel better..Again just suggeting..

 


.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Jul. 3 2011 at 10:12 pm
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
Other than the couple grammatical errors already pointed out, this was really good. Keep writing!

on Jul. 3 2011 at 5:06 pm
Silent_Artist SILVER, Selma, North Carolina
8 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;One day I&#039;m gonna run away and never come back and when I come back I&#039;m gonna be the knife master&quot; - Jimmy The Rev Sullivan. Not much of a deep meaning but it makes me laugh.

Be sure to capitalize I. Also, forgot the R in broken. Just things I noticed in my quick look-over. Other then that, good job.