In This Game of Spades
I got what I wanted but I feel like crap.
Is this a game? Is this a trap?

It has started but when will it end?
Is it my heart that is to be in mend?

If it’s fun and games then what’s the game?
I don’t know why I feel so tamed.

If it’s fun and games, then where’s the fun?
I just want this game to be done.

I know this isn’t the highest spade in the deck,
But even this low one has got me feeling sick.

As if life wasn’t hard enough.
I have to get through it; I have to be tough.

How could it be done in so little time?
When is it me? When is it mine?

Who is the heart in this game of spades?
Is there a heart to even be played?

How could it be over without really starting?
Why am I like this? Why am I hurting?

If not a heart, then maybe a diamond.
I just don’t know when the hour glass will spend.

Right when I think it will finally be done,
I find out this game has only just began.

There’s no way to know how long it will last.
I have no idea if it will be slow. Or fast.

If I’m not delt a diamond or a heart
Maybe a club won’t completely tear me apart.

When, at last, I get what I need
Maybe, just maybe, this game will secede from me