I remember a time when I was happy. I remember when my backyard playground was all I ever knew. I remember when I still had an imagination to let my mind wander. I remember when my little ponies and stuffed animals filled my pink and white room. I remember being able to dance in the grocery store without a care in the world.
I don’t remember why I stopped being happy. But I do remember his (my ex) scary voice and the way my whole body shakes as he walks by. I remember his laugh was full of malice. I remember my face being red and blotchy. I remember how I lost the light inside me. Sometimes life can be difficult. Sometimes I am the wall and people are the tornado. When I was a freshman, people would run all over me, tear me apart, until I was hanging like a branch on a tree. I was a novice to love. I didn’t know who was good for me and who was not.
I remember all the very silly things I do when I am happy. I remember the time after junior prom, me, Vivyan, and Dylan all had to drive home in the pouring rain as a tornado warning was going off. Dylan had to stay the night. I remember the time when Vivyan and I were in the hot tub and she cracked her head and I had to go to the hospital at midnight. I remember when Mavia and I freshman year went to see a scary movie and we threw the popcorn behind us… those people behind us were not happy at all.
The only thing that made me remember to be happy was the friends I gained after. Vivyan, Hannah, Lauren, and Dylan. All a special part of my life. Each person is different from the rest. I remember. I start to remind myself of all the good times I have had, and the sadness disappears.
I remember the comforting warmth of laughing with people I love, the excitement of trying something new, and the quietness of small gestures. Thinking back on these special occasions, I see that a lot of the time, happiness comes from the relationships we form. These happy memories are ultimately what bring us joy and point us in the direction of a happy future. I remember being able to say I am finally happy.