No, you don't hear me.
Or maybe you do
But you choose to ignore it
To hide from it.
Perhaps because when you do
You wince and turn away
Like I'm not like you.
You're scared to see yourself
And what you too have become.
What's been thrown at me
What life has dealt me
What God has let happen.
Those that look my in the eyes
Are braver than I am myself.
I wonder how you can't know
Can't see, don't see
Or understand
That something's wrong.
That I'm not alright.
That I'll never be alright
And I have to live with it.
When everything in me is screaming
Tearing, shrieking
Dying.
I can hear me.
I have to live with me.
Have to live knowing
That I'm a time bomb.
Have to live knowing
That I don't even know myself.
I'm afraid to look in a mirror
I won't recognize the face looking back.
Do you recognize me?
I need you to hear me.
But you don't.
Maybe it's all for show
Or maybe it's not.
I would help myself
Or try to
But I'm too far in to know
What it is I can do
To help me.
To fix me.
To repair me.
I'm afraid to help me.
I'm afraid of not being this way
Not being like this.
Afraid of what I don't know or
Understand.
I don't really want to die
Not really.
Can't you see that?
I want you to know
To understand
To see and help
What I know
But can't tell you.
This is my scream
This is my cry
Set me free
But first -
Hear me.