Every now and then, I think of the little girl I was. I was a girl on fire; burning with love and a will to learn more about my Father and His son, Jesus Christ in Heaven. I prayed endlessly to Him every night, worshipped him gladly, and built on His and my relationship. I held my cross firmly in hand, proud and excited for the future God was building for me. I held Christ’s hand as He and I walked down my path in life. He is a great Father. He pointed out all of the things I loved, told me all that was to come, and He dressed me in honor and purity.

One year, as I was walking with the Lord, I was led to a path of two roads. One road was my journey with the Lord. But the other appeared interesting. It was tiled with hopes and dreams, concreted in all of my greatest wishes. It was an exciting path! So I turned to God and told Him I would be back in just a bit. I was going to go down this path that was calling out to me. I waved goodbye but He frowned. I wondered why He did that.

That road was but everything I wanted in life. That road was a temptation painted in bright colors and fancy rainbows. The fantasies faded away and there was just me walking down the path. Finally, after all the confusion and blind fear, a beautiful creature with a grinning smile awaited me towards the end of the road with an extended hand outstretched for a handshake. Being polite, I shook it. He smiled even wider until he disappeared into a puff of smoke. In the distance, I could hear him laughing.

I turned around in terror; I wanted to get back to my path with God. But then the road was gone and I found myself stuck in a cage made from tar and fire. The flames caught onto my cross and that cross lit on fire. I threw it, not wanting to burn myself. The ground was hot and I sweated profusely. My hair became a frizzy mess from the heat, and my face was strudded in ash. Not knowing what to do, I fell to my knees and sobbed. Crying out, “Someone! Anyone! Save me! Save me!”
All that I once knew was over. As the years passed, I laid in that cage of sweat, fear, and sin. I had succumbed to the mighty flames and decided this was my lot in life. I was no longer a little girl; I was a young woman. I grew taller, my body formed into curves and moved like the water, and the clothes I wore were muddy and damaged. The thoughts in my head tormented me daily, telling me what I should loathe about my vessel, my place in this world as a woman, and about my faithless worth. My future did not seem clear anymore. My path was lost.

Finally, I had enough. I was done with the flames. I was done with the sweat. I was done with the guilt. I was done with hating the person I was going to be stuck with for the rest of my life. I was done with being mean to my wondrous vessel. I was done with my thoughts. I was done with that creature that tormented me daily. I wanted my path back. I wanted the Lord.

So, with shaking legs, I stood on my own two feet and screamed a scream so heavy it caused everything to shake and rattle: “GOD! I have greatly sinned! I am lost! Help me!”

In an instant, everything began to crumble around me. The flames were extinguished, the cage melted before me and everything, for the first time in years, was quiet. The thoughts in my mind were shunned silent.

There was no path to follow. There was no road to guide me out of this placid hell. Only one task was planted into my mind: just start moving. I put one foot in front of the other and I began to walk.

Oh, how torturous and long that walk was. I stumbled, I fell, and I cried. But even then, I stood and walked again. For the first time in my life, there was no mortal here to help me. It was just me. I came to understand that it needed to be just me and the dark.

There were days where I just wanted to stop. There was no point. I left Christ. I left my Father. He was not going to be there waiting for me. I betrayed Him. I abandoned His trust. There was no way He would be willing to forgive me for all that I had done to Him.

One day, I felt something touching my toes. I kneeled down and felt it. It was long and poked at my skin but it felt calming all at once. Grass. It was grass. So I walked on the ground with grass and my feet felt stone on the ground. A path! Blindly, I ran against this path. Until finally, for the first time in years, I saw light.

Running towards the light, I stopped and gasped at what I saw. I looked around and there was a great, beautiful sky. I had never seen grass so green. There was a beautiful river with horses, my favorite of all animals, taking sips of water from it.

I looked in front of me and I became confused with what I saw. I saw a tent pitched and a freshly lit fire. Beside the fire was a meal. Meatloaf with baked potatoes; my favorite meal. There was a cup of water beside the plate as well. A gorgeous purple dress was folded nicely on a blanket.

What was this? I thought.

Suddenly, someone had walked out of the tent. He saw me and froze. It was Christ. He called me by my name, He smiled a smile so merrily and laughed so happily whilst clapping. “You’re back! I had been waiting a long time for your return.”

Without a thought entering my mind, I stepped over to Him and hugged Him tightly. He held me in His arms and whispered that everything was alright in my ear.

I ate the meal with Him and told Him everything I had done and He simply listened. I laughed, I cried, I was ashamed, and He was just happy I was here. I was dressed in a gorgeous dress in my favorite color, purple. 

Suddenly, He spoke: “Let’s get back to our walk, shall we?”

I nodded and took His hand.