I am from The rusting metal star on the side of the little house in oak ridge

The pretty blue house in seaside, now faded to gray and robbed of any life.

From walking the train tracks in calicoon with my friend Roewren and learning things I never knew about myself. 

I am from sprinkling reindeer food around my front yard in the bitter cold of Christmas eve

And walks around the block with my old dog Dee.

From walks around Branchville with my best friends, giving anniversary cards to random workers,

And explaining the lore of the Demolition lovers to Mr. Symons instead of doing classwork.

I am from frying mashed potatoes listening to Bright Eyes 

And the night I thought was my last, blasting MCR in my headphones until my ears were ringing.

From my 7th grade history teacher who saved my life without even knowing it,

And hour-long drives to PHP in the mornings in a desperate attempt to change. 

I am from the night I saw my family fall apart

And the cries of my siblings as I had to take on the role of the adult. 

From eating only cucumber slices for weeks at a time

And the repeating cycle of promises to get better. 

I am from feeling my whole world come crashing down around me

And promises that things will get better eventually from everyone around me.

Being told, “you can’t possibly feel like that at such a young age” 

And “You’ll understand what real depression is when you’re older.”

I am from being told that I am only a kid and there is nothing I can do about my situation

And being forced to parent my adult father who acts like a child himself. 

From taking the blame in every situation to shield my siblings from the broken family surrounding them.

I am from writing stories until 2am in a desperate attempt to escape my own head

And blasting music so loudly in my headphones that I can’t hear my own thoughts.

From expressing my fear through the poems I write in English class

And Mrs. Wolff, the only teacher I can trust with my writing. 

I am from Frankford Township School, the only place I ever feel safe. 

And all of these people, places and things that make me who I am.