Heavy load on my chest.
Trying to cough up the words.
A tear escapes my eye
And lightly drips off my face.
You catch it,
And I know.
I could never tell you.
Which would hurt you more?
Eventually,
You'll find out.
A pathetic gasp crawls out
From my mouth.
Your arms wrap around me.
And bring us heart to heart.
Tear stains on your shoulder.
A shuddering body in your arms.
A light, passionate kiss on my head.
You raise my face towards yours.
And bring us mouth to mouth.
But neither one kissing,
Just protecting.
Stroke my face
And tell me
‘It’s alright’
These words don’t affect me.
Because I know the truth.
This black secret
That engulfs every ounce of strength I have.
This red lie.
That tells every tale unimaginable.
This rainbow colored spectrum
Of insecurities
And lost hopes and dreams
Is something I can no longer hold on to.
Without opening my mouth
Or speaking the words
I let you in on this disastrous secret
That will break every bone in your soul
And tear every ligament in your heart.
At the end
Of my mad fairy tale
We both disappear
So quickly
That I can’t even take my last breath.
But I still can’t escape.
So now
You are in a state of bliss
The black secret
And red lie
Have released you
From their menacing clutches
And I
I just
Lay here
In a wintry pond
Of red lies
And black secrets
Waiting
For your broken bones
And torn ligaments
To crush me.