I've been falling a lot lately
And no, I don't mean literally
Mama told me she noticed changes in me
How I cut my hair
How it seems like nothing interests me
I force out the best smile I can
To convince her that I'm okay
Even though my world is sundering
“I'm just not into that stuff anymore, Mama”
She looks at me pleading for the truth
I want to tell her, but I restrain.
“Really, Mom.” And smiles again.

I've been getting into trouble lately
This time I mean literally
Mama told me I'm not the same anymore
Not sweet and innocent
Not pure and saintly
I flash my best confused face
As if I don't know what she means
Even though the truth could be seen through her eyes
“I thought I was being myself, Mom”
She looks at me with disappointment in her eyes
Crossing her arms waiting for an answer.
I want to tell her everything, but I restrain.
“I don't know, Mom” And turn away.

I've been wasted a lot lately
And I do mean that literally
Mama caught me in her arms last night
When I fell backwards on the stairs
She put her nose to my mouth
She smelled the alcohol
And instantly sat me up to look her directly in the eyes
I could see the tears welling up in her eyes
And before I could restrain, everything came pouring out
She looked at me with fear and concern
Telling me everything was going to be okay
She cradled me in her arms on the floor
And she watched me cry like I never did before