I thought the world was happy

When I was a child

I was very unaware

That the future was wild

I didn’t know sadness

I didn’t know grief

I only knew skinned knees

And pains so brief

Falling off bikes

And teasing from brothers

I didn’t know suffering

Or friends leaving for others

I never had to think

About heartbreak at all

I never had to worry

So I never knew I’d fall

The way that I grew up

Ruined my older years

I was sheltered from pain

And now I just shed tears

People ended up leaving

And all that I thought

Was “it’s all my fault”

That they left me to rot

I thought no one cared

About anything I said

I helped people with problems

Though I needed help instead

I wouldn't leave these people

I had stupid persistence

I wanted to feel better

I just needed assistance

Then as I got older

I discovered a spark

It was a relief from pain

But still left me in the dark

I thought I’d be strong

That I had a good heart

But I now knew love

And it tore me apart

I rarely felt grief

Having gone numb

Yet I craved a certain love

And God, I felt dumb

I was different from friends

In a new way now

I tried to explain it

I just didn’t know how

Confined to my head

With stupid thoughts

My words raced around

And came out in knots

I wasn’t good with words

But I really did try

In the end all they did

Was come out so dry

I never asked for approval

I tried keeping my distance

Then once again

I questioned my existence

I questioned that and more

Everything, in fact

I didn’t have great trust

But my reasons were backed

I knew people cared

I knew that was true

Yet if they did leave

What would I do

I’m learning new happiness

With friends who lend a hand

They’re the best that I have

And I love them with all I am

This isn’t my end

Just a page in a story

It’s not very pretty

And far from any glory

I’m still not as happy

As I was as a child

Not yet, at least

But life’s more mild

Sure I’m still pained

But I’m no longer a shell

I’ve gotten much better

My life isn’t pure hell

After my hardships

I became more free

I’m no longer a child

And I’m finding the real me