Congrats on being drafted into the NFL! Here are some steps to help you become the best football player in history.

When the press tries to talk to you, pull a Marshawn Lynch and answer every question with the same answer. For example, during the annual Super Bowl media day in the 2014-15 season he answered every question with “I’m just here so I won’t get fined”.

If you want to become even more famous, get traded to the Patriots and cheat your way to every super bowl or just get a really good field goal kicker to win it for you.

Or you can pull an Antonio Brown. On a punt return, run past almost the whole team and when you are about to score kick the punter in the face and then get tackled without scoring.

Also never go to practice. Practice is for losers that need to get better, for you it would be a waste of time. You are already good and don’t need any improvement.

Off the field you can do whatever you want. Draw as much attention as you possibly can to yourself. This will make you talked about on TV, newspapers, and radios which will ensure that people across the nation will know your name.

Buy my DVD with five more steps to lead you to being the best NFL player in history, starting at only $24.99. With your purchase you will receive a free elevator self defense class taught by the one and only Ray Rice.