I’ve been playing ball for more than 10 years now. Softball has always meant way more to me than just a sport with a ball and a bat. It's been an outlet that I run to when I’m in need. It’s the only thing that is consistent when everything else may seem like mayhem. It’s been such a huge part of who I am that there's really no me if there isn't the game.

I started off young, around the age of 5 or so watching my big sister play. She was a pitcher. Oh man, I looked up to my sister more than I ever did to my sister. I constantly wanted to be her. Dress like her, talk like her, even walk like her. So if softball was her thing, it was sure mine. I started off playing wreck ball through organizations for awhile which was very fun. That's where I developed most of my love for the sport. Around the age of ten, my parents knew I had a true talent. They decided I needed something a little more competitive. So I has started on my first travel team. It was awesome. Every weekend I was playing with girls that were at my level and even better. I was constantly being pushed and trained. It was a whole other side of softball I never dreamed of, and I knew it was definitely where I belonged.

Around twelve and under is where this all really began. I remember going to a tournament in San Diego, and while I was watching a game prior to mine, I saw these coaches in the stands with clipboards and pens. They all seem to be wearing college shirts and hats and were dead focused on the game. I remember asking my dad “why are those people here?” and my dad answered “they are here looking at potentiel girls they want to come play for their universities.” University? These girls at the time were about the same age as me, ten or eleven. So I couldn't figure out why these coaches were recruiting girls barely still in the fifth and sixth grade. Didn't they know these kids aren't going to school until they were twenty maybe. It was my first real eye opener as an eleven year old, having to now consider on how I'm going to get a scholarship.

Throughout my middle school years is where things got competitive. Sixth and seventh graders around the country where verbally committing to schools. At the time, these schools were not allowed to communicate with players unless they were on college grounds. So when girls like me, barely starting AVID programs at our middle schools, other girls were already debating what university, major, and careers they were going to choose. These schools were getting so competitive with one another for talent that they were grabbing kids as young as eleven years old to verbally commit to go to their schools.

Playing competitively is not easy at all, unless you don't want to be the best of course. When wreck ball teams are only practicing twice a week, travel ball girls are practicing everyday. While you condition once a week, other girls are getting faster than you by conditioning four times a week. The list goes on. Playing competitive ball takes effort and sacrifice. It’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way. While the average kid goes to school and then gets to come home and relax after, Im waking up at five in the morning to workout, then go to school, and then after school I’m working out and practicing some more. While normal girls get to sleep in on the weekends and hangout with friends, I spend all day at a softball field playing ball both days. It's not easy playing this sport, but just when you think your working hard, I can guarantee there's other girls working harder and who are better than you. Other girls who are all striving for your scholarship.

The amount of pressure being put on young girls to perform and succeed in this sport is brutal. Early this year, thirteen year-old Emma Pangelinan took her own life. She was a young girl who had been playing travel softball for some time. One night she was reported missing and not too long later, her body was found in their neighborhood park. Reports say she had left a detailed letter explaining the amount of pressure and stress that softball and school had been on her, the constant struggle to be perfect and verbally committed by such a young age. It had shocked the whole softball community. Lighting vigils were held and softball players around the world wrote her uniform number on their faces and jerseys. This is just one of these tragic stories that has been released to the public. Imagine all the other girls that are struggling with this same pressure. Not even to mention some of the pressure from their parents.

On April 18, 2018 NCAA Division 1 council announced that it had passed legislation requiring all prospective student-athletes start date for recruiting would be September 1st of their Junior year. Five months into the new rule, all girls are not being offered any scholarship’s until junior year. This was definitely a huge step forward to solving this issue but I do believe there is more to be done. Parents, take a step back and ask yourself what your trying to get out of your daughter. Yes, we are student-athletes and are held to higher standards but deep down, we are also kids. We are kids who fell in love with a sport. We are kids who want to enjoy the game for what it brings us. Hopefully the girls who come after me can have more time to enjoy the game and its many joys. Maybe we can all enjoy the game for what it's worth once again.