Do you know what it’s like to feel as though you have no friends? Do you know what it’s like to be teased about what you look like, your values, or the way you live your life? Have you ever been excluded from something because you were “not part of the group” or “too weird?” Do you know what it’s like to feel as though you don’t belong? If you said yes to any of these questions, you are a victim of bullying, which is any unwanted exclusion, teasing, or harassment done to another person that is meant to lower self-esteem, cause pain, or make a person feel insecure, sad, uncomfortable, and left out.

Another set of questions are about motives. Why would anyone want to take the light and joy out of someone’s eyes? Why would someone want another to feel bad about the way they are? Why do people treat others who are different as though the difference is a bad thing? Why would anyone want to cause pain and hurt another? What good comes from sadness and suffering?

I have been a victim of bullying. I spent a majority of my elementary and middle school years being dragged down by bullies’ insults, rude remarks, and criticisms. Bullying made me feel horrible about myself, like I wasn’t worth more than I was being treated. Bullying is the reason I felt insecure, like I didn’t belong. Bullying is one of the worst things a person can do to another person.

It all started in second grade. I still recall the boy who stole my glasses and made fun of me saying, “I have a huge afro.” That was only the beginning. As time went on, I could feel myself being judged more and more. I was excluded from playing soccer with the boys because I was a girl. I was made fun of because of my frizzy hair and dorky glasses. I was teased for being too skinny, and even had a girl ask me “why my collar bones stuck out so much.” And while these things hurt my feelings immensely, I was able to get through it because of my friends’ support.

This all changed however, when I was un-invited to one of my best friend’s birthday party. Everything started to spiral out of control. I never imagined something like that would happen to me, especially by my own friend. What was even worse was that she didn’t think she was doing anything wrong. She refused to admit to her faults. I didn’t end up going to the party, and I was shunned from my friend group for three weeks. They chose her over me. That was the first time I felt as though I didn’t have any friends. I felt completely alone. This act of bullying left me distraught and feeling horrible about myself. I remember thinking over and over again, “why do they hate me so much?” This didn’t stop there. For the next two years I was continuously left out of my friends’ plans, parties, and get-togethers. Eventually I caved and apologized for being “overdramatic,” because I was tired of being left out, but the truth is, it was her fault. I shouldn’t have had to apologize, but I was distressed by not having any friends so I acted as though I was to blame. Time has healed the wounds caused by my friend, and I would call her a close friend whom I trust and love. However, I haven’t forgotten about it, and honestly I look back at the times I was bullied and feel pangs of pain and sadness.

The effects bullying has on a person don’t go away, they continue to stay with them. I still remember being called ugly and not good enough. I still remember being made fun of constantly; people shunning me from sitting with them on the bus, and my friends leaving me in the dust. I still remember being bullied. Those memories hurt.

Bullying can be caused by lack of awareness and understanding, family problems, or from wanting an increase in popularity. One way to decrease bullying would be for parents to teach their kids about the importance of treating others the way they want to be treated. Parents are the ones who teach their kids values, and kids will often mimic their parents’ mannerisms. Most often mean parents equal mean children. Another way is to continue educating kids on bullying and its effects all through elementary, middle, and high school. Teachers are instructed to teach kids what bullying is, but the most important part is to get them to understand how greatly their actions can affect another person emotionally and physically. Kids of all ages continue to be harassed, teased, and made fun of at school. In this moment, somewhere in the world, someone is being bullied.

The only way to stop bullying is to reach out to kids at a young age and teach them acceptance. Everyone is different. Teachers need to keep being proactive by continuing to raise kids’ awareness on the effects of bullying. Parents need to teach their kids to treat others respectfully and nicely. People need to stop making others feel terrible about themselves, and instead accept and love. People need to stop causing other people pain. No one deserves to feel like they’re worthless. Bullying is a menace that needs to be stopped.