Hello, I am Tim Cook, C.E.O. of Apple Incorporated. Allow me to introduce the new MacBook Anorexia. Slimmer than the MacBook Air, the MacBook Anorexia serves not only to instill anxiety in fearful owners, due to its unnecessary fragility, but also to impart the idea that beauty is measured by thinness and that the ideal image of physique is to be fatally thin. A signet of society’s newfound obsession with physical “fitness”, the MacBook Anorexia reminds us that the goal of being “fit” is not to be healthy or lean, but to be a skeleton. Furthermore, this new addition to the Apple Family carries little to no practical improvement when compared with its predecessors; it’s just a lot thinner. Buy now so you too can feel horrible about your physical shortcomings and begin fulfilling that new slender image you want with the company of your new MacBook Anorexia.