Going through life day by day, week by week, with thoughts of death filling your mind. All alone, no one sees the pain you go through. You wear a fake smile and act like everything is ok. If people found out about your thoughts they would call you an attention seeker or tell you other people have it worse. 

The suicidal thoughts started when you were young, they were caused by traumatic event which led to you having depression. At first you tried to seek help but the medicine didn’t work and you felt that your therapist didn’t understand your problems. Eventually scars started to form on your arms but no one ever noticed because you hid them well. You hoped that one day you would lose enough blood, from the cuts you made, and finally escape the awful world you live in. 

There are bags under your eyes from getting too much sleep or not enough. You haven’t taken care of yourself for weeks so your hair is greasy and your teeth are yellow. Scars now cover your body and all you do is lie around all day. You don’t have the energy to do anything and the things you used to enjoy doing just cause you sadness at this point. But you shouldn’t have to feel this way. Living should not cause you anguish, it should not cause you this much pain. You should be having thoughts of spending time with your loved ones or doing the hobbies you enjoy, not wishing to die. Artificial hormones should not be the only thing that make you want to live. You deserve to be happy and you deserve so much more than people telling you to stop faking. 

The world is cruel to you, others see you and they roll their eyes and whisper terrible things about you or they look away and pretend you don’t exist. People call you lazy and a faker, they don’t care about how you feel and they don’t believe you are depressed. The world thinks you are broken and cannot be fixed. When others hear you are suicidal all they do is assume you just want attention, but when it is too late they begin to care. No one acknowledges your pain or tries to help you. To other people you are a speck of dust in the wind. 

Every morning you wake up disappointed that you are still alive, every night you hope to never wake up again, and everyday you wish for the pain to go away. “Just one cut, just enough pills and the pain will cease.” You think, but you can’t bring yourself to actually do it. The sun will rise and fall and you will continue to hurt, until the one day you decide to fully commit.

So many people commit suicide every year, please do not become a part of those tragic numbers. There is so much to live for and to fight for, so do not let the world think it can best you. The pain will not last forever, so keep fighting because you have made it too far to give up now. I have felt the same way that you do right now and I have gotten better, which means you can too. I will help you through the pain and make sure you get better. Please do not try to escape your pain by thinking death is the only option because it’s not. Death is not the answer and killing yourself won’t solve anything. Tell me you won’t kill yourself and no matter what I will help you. Promise?