Pack mentality 

Social media has a way of tricking us into a sense of belonging. But then you delve deeper into the communities of the world and realize it is impossible to fit into the social order and you get stuck feeling like a fake or an outsider. When I was in middle school l liked to watch anime. Now I watch older anime, not the newer stuff but when I scroll through social media and it recommends anime videos, the minute I open a chat I feel completely isolated because all the other people are having debates and talking about their favorite character. I immediately feel like a poser for not liking it enough. It can feel like if you don't get to the same level of enjoyment as the other people in the community then something is wrong with you. 

The word social in social media creates a precedent that in order these apps are going to be social when in reality it is just people in their homes yelling at each other online. They can be yelling because of something funny or something serious but they are all trapped by the confines of a screen. It is impossible for people to ever grasp a sense of actually socializing through social media apps. They just feel like games. Even the word media in the word social media can be questioned for its authenticity. Media is defined as “the main means of mass communication (broadcasting, publishing, and the internet) regarded collectively.“ But we do not use it as a means of communication. Snap chat is used to just send pictures. If people really want to talk they use the phone app or a messaging app. The term social media is used to trick people that it is ok to be stuck on their phones. It is nearly impossible to feel any real human connection online. This is why the idea that you do not fit into the community because of what you saw on social media needs to be thrown out. A community does not exist on your phone, it exists in the world. 

It feels impossible to make it into the heart of the community. And that is fine because if you don't like something as much as someone else then that just means that you guys dont have the same taste. And if someone doesn't like something the same amount as you then that is cool. It feels easy to judge someone through a screen and impossibly hard to empathize with their lives. People are different because you don't need to force something to make you feel comfortable in a community. 

Standards

There is a certain underlying current in the world propelled by social media that dedicates who a person can be and how they must look. Social media has a way of making lives always seem amazing and the people on it always seem beautiful. In order to fit the bill in social media you have to shop from certain places or thrift. You have to have some semblance of makeup skills and even without makeup you have to be a natural beauty. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, with social media there always is a standard. That standard may change from whatever app you're on but there is an underlying pressure to fit into the stereotype of the app in order to feel like you can relate to the people you see online. It sucks you in and traps you in things that you might not even like but bear with in order to fit the standards of a world that can't actually see you.  

The pressure to like the same things as the people you see on the internet can be overwhelming. In the world we live in today, social media forces us into a mindset of only two choices: liking something or not liking something. There is no in between, not half way thumbs up. If you like something that the majority likes then you feel like you fit in and belong. But if you don't like the same things as the majority then you can feel excluded from the community. This mindset is terrible because it causes kids to feel pressured to conform to the invisible standards. If they don't then they're an outsider, but even outsiders have their own set of standards. And if you don't fit those rules then all you left with is loneliness. 

The exclusivity of social media is upheld by the impossible standards that people create online. The things you see make you want to fit in and stay with the trends. But it also sets you up for a sense of failure when you font like the same things as the rest of the online communities. In order to create a safe environment for kids without the overwhelming sense of loss of belonging then we must watch how the world excludes people. The standards of the world can not be set by people online; they must be set in home or at school where kids can see different people in real life without the filters and glamour that accompanies social media. 

If you feel the pressures of social media take a cleanse. Hang out with people in real life for a bit, go out. Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a breather and break the pattern. Maybe try something new, and have a different experience. Know that you are not trapped on the screen. 

False information/Cancel culture

The social controversy caused by fake news in social media makes it hard for youths to trust any source of information and also makes youths fear cancellation if they get information wrong. There is a large public shaming that can happen over social media if someone does not get the facts correct. It makes it hard for people to feel comfortable trusting news and sharing information. My mom is always very angry with me when my facts are wrong and she always needs to make sure that I know what is true. But this often leads to a fight. People on social media also fight all the time because of incorrect information. I have seen people shamed in the comment section because they had the wrong information. They apologize over and over and even make videos because they are afraid to get caught up in the wave of canceled culture. The canceled culture of America that swept through social media during the pandemic is an extremely toxic world.

The word Cancel has taken a new meaning that is feared by many social media influencers. It started with celebrities and then it came down if you are wearing your masks. A person can not feel safe on the internet for the fear of being canceled by a group of people online. It creates an extremely toxic environment of fear and even seems to provide the people who are canceling others a sort of vindictive justice. In my opinion the idea of canceling someone and having the power to cancel someone seems to be addictive to those who are involved in social media. Now some of the people who get canceled deserve it but when people are being shamed on and off of social media for making a video in a store without a mask on it is too much. 

  A way that we can do better for people coming into this age of social media is to teach them the proper ways of fact checking and to remember that they are our boundaries, even online. If people say the wrong information then it is ok, they are just repeating what they say. We cannot let ourselves get stuck in the black whole of shaming and canceling people every time someone gets something wrong because it creates an aspect of fear for people when they want to speak about something on social media.

If your family is getting on social media then it is a good idea to have multiple conversations with them about empathy and to also have healthy debates in your house. Your family should feel enough to share what they hear with you and if they are wrong then they should be encouraged to be proactive and research the topic. 

Glorification (filters)

The glorification of mental states in social media is concerning especially considering the isolation that people have experienced in the pandemic. People on social media romanticize their mental health issues and draw almost envy from the rest of the population. It has become a trend to have anxiety. This can be very triggering for people with real mental health issues. It can make people feel the need to make their mental health worse in order to fit into this issue. The trend of self diagnosis is also a huge issue because people don't realize that they could actually be harming themselves and others. I have a couple of friends who were personally affected by the state of the world during the pandemic and have been properly diagnosed with some extreme mental health issues and it is hard for me to watch social media and see people glorifying all of the things my friends struggle with. It makes me sad. I know how hard it is on them everyday and people online make it seem like amazing things.

The idea of mental health issues being a trend is also concerning. The word trend in is defined as a "general direction in which something is developing or changing" or a "fashion". The fact that people think of these issues as nothing but fashion and something that will come in and out of style is very upsetting. I think that kids have become too disconnected to even reflect on their mind set. 

I do understand that social media can be used to help people express themselves but it should not be used in a way that could damage other people. We have to be mindful about what we put into the world because it has influence. I feel like everyone needs to take some time to reflect on what they have seen on social media and absorb it. I think it is also important to remember your support group in real life if you feel anything on social media affecting you. Always remember that you can talk things out with someone and that you're not trapped to sharing your opinions on a screen or when short typed sentences.