Respect as we know it is dead, it has been for a while. 

When we think of respect some of us imagine it as our grandpa telling us to keep our elbows off the table or maybe standing up for the national anthem. Respect doesn’t even have to go that deep. Simply not talking when the teacher is, or even shaking someone’s hand when first meeting them are all ways we show respect. Now although respect seems to be present in these little details, it is incredibly rare. A simple way to explain this is through the definition of the word itself. The oxford dictionary describes it as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements”. Simply looking at the definition, respect seems like a common thing, but a key detail in the definition proves that respect as we know it is mostly gone. 

This key detail is the section “feeling of deep admiration”.  Every time your grandpa tells you to get your elbows off the table when you obey the command due to admiration or due to the authority established by your grandfather? When in your mind you are annoyed to face these commands, you do it simply to please the one with authority. Essentially the reason behind an action is also necessary for it to be defined as respect. Same as how you would address a teacher. You wouldn't listen to them out of admiration but rather due to their established authority. An argument can be made that this is another form of respect that is directed towards authority. Although logically seems to make sense, the argument takes away the idea of the reason behind the action.

If we see respect as an action taken towards authority simply due to said authority then we completely remove the basis of intention. If intended with negative thoughts then it isn’t true respect. So what is it? The so-called “respect for authority” is essentially following the rules. So why do we follow the rules if not out of respect? Simple answer, because it helps us survive since the dawn of time humans live in communities, these established communities must always have a form of law and order to survive or flourish. This law and order lead to expectations even on small scales, which evolved into what we assumed as respect. These small rules maintain order in society and are pounded into kids to help them function when they become adults. The brand of respect became a useful tool to make people follow rules and listen to authority, and although an effective strategy, it’s still quite the placebo. But is this placebo a negative thing?

The answer to that is up in the air, in most cases, it’s not a bad thing. Teaching people to follow the rules and show kindness to people with authority is great and helps establish order within a society. The issue arises when people begin to abuse the idea of respect. When a parent hits a child for “being disrespectful” or when an officer treats a citizen harshly due to a feeling of “disrespect”. This brings up the biggest issue with respect, the one-sidedness of it. A major flaw with our current understanding of respect is the way we see it in one direction, to show respect, to give respect. These are key phrases to show how respect is perceived, it's not seen as a feeling or concept but rather seems to be objectified. Other concepts aren't the same, you wouldn't demand happiness, you wouldn't demand envy, but respect is demanded, requested, expected. The diversion of the intention of respect as a concept has become heavy, and the big issue is the conceptual understanding that we seem to lack in regards to the concept. But all this leads to one main point, that “respect” that is objectified or one-sided can be dangerous. 

Respect being dead doesn't have to be true, it's essentially a matter of perspective and definition. If respect to authority is how you see respect then by all means respect is thriving, but if you see the concept and intent that should be the basis of respect, then respect hasn't been seen in a while. Respect is all based on the individual and isn't something that can be decided by some teen in high school. Just as how one might see love in a different light than another person, the idea of respect is also a similar process. This essay can be a sharing of an opinion or an argument, but when you put your computer down I want you to think about how does respect influences you, why do you show respect, and is it in the right place?