She doubts herself quite often
        she always hopes for the best
                balance is a term
                    she hasn't gotten used to quite yet.
This sentence is the closest I can get to explaining myself. This sentence is a reflection of my academic progress and social life. This sentence is mine.

 I doubt my abilities and skills almost any chance I get. I convince myself that I can not achieve the grades I deserve or that I'm not worthy of the friends I have. I doubt that I can ever be enough for my family, even though they tell me how proud they are of me on a daily bases. I doubt that I'm as pretty as my friends and family describe me. I doubt that I am as funny as my friends claim. I doubt most of the time...

On the other hand, I hope too much. I hope to achieve the grades I believe I deserve because I expect too much but most of the time end up disappointed. I hope that my friends are satisfied with how I treat them. I hope that my teachers notice my effort. I hope too much...

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

  - William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

It is never good to have too much of anything, but it's also bad to bring yourself down all the time, which is why I need a  B A L A N C E.
When writing this post, a memory that keeps making it's way back is my last year's history product. I don't think I can forget in all honesty... It changed how I see things now and how I deal with situations.
"Pay attention guys this is about your upcoming DBQ in approximately two weeks so listen carefully"
    Oh no, DBQ's are the death of me, I always score horribly. You know what? No, I won't have this negativity while preparing, you can do it Sarah, you can.

"This will cover a big percentage of your grade so study hard and do your best"

Two weeks. I prepared for two weeks. EVERY SINGLE DAY I would come back home from school and re-write the history notes from the day before, while adding new notes to study. I would pretend I'm a teacher and re-explain the information I learned to my mother while she sat in front of me bored and disregarding what I'm saying.   
What if I forget this information, I can't do this I'm failing for sure.

This has been a routine for me for about two weeks but I didn't give up, no matter how much I doubted myself, I kept trying because I had hope, too much hope.
It was test day, I came to school with a packet of information hand-written, fully memorized and understood ready to take this product.

Took the DBQ. Pressure is gone. Hopefully I did well... C. I got a C... I almost broke down in class but I need to calm down. I don't deserve this, I expected better. What was more heartbreaking was the fact that some of my peers were telling me at the beginning of the class how they didn't bother studying and what did they get? A's or B's. Balance. It's what I need. I doubt myself most of the time but have too much hope altogether.

Balance.. what a complicated term. It's a concept that requires patience and practice, a lot of practice. I always think that I can't do something, that it's too far out of my comfort zone, that it's something impossible in my eyes, doubt. Yet, when I do try something, I give something a chance, I pray that I succeed, I expect too much, hope. Which is why I find it difficult to accept the outcomes. I need to position myself in the state of mind where I accept failure, and encourage success.

I need to keep believing and never giving up, but I should also acknowledge failure because there's always room for progression, whether I succeed or fail.
She doubts herself quite often
        she always hopes for the best
                balance is a term
                    she hasn't gotten used to quite yet.