We all know at least one of them.  The kid that believes he will get a full ride to a division one college for playing flicker football.  The kid that cannot wait to smell the rubber of a newly purchased swim cap.  The kid who is failing multiple classes, but has an unwavering 100 percent in PE.  It’s not hard to tell where I’m going with this one.  I’d like to explore the mind of the rare and exotic, “Gym Class Hero.”
    

I often find myself pondering the purpose of these said heroes.  Although I hate to stereotype, all of these kids have similar qualities.  The first being that they are usually of the male gender.  For some reason, unknown to me, men, or should I say boys, have the tendency to show off...all the time.  I have found through many years of experience that this show of “skill” mostly occurs in gym class.  The typical gym class hero can be easily spotted, but it can be exhausting trying to avoid one. 
    

The first step of avoiding this rare breed of man is identification.  The whole gym class must be evaluated in order to find the person most likely to commit the heinous acts only a gym class hero could be responsible for.  Sometimes a girl fits the mold of a gym class hero, but those occurrences are few and far between.  Usually, as stated before, it is a male.  Ironically, he will not look extremely athletic because he does not actually excel in any real sports outside of gym class.  This act of trying so hard is a result of his subconscious mind wanting to prove to himself, and his peers, that he is athletically inclined.  However, it’s no secret that he actually is not at all.  To survive Gym, it is essential to stay out of the destructive path of the physical education olympian.  In order to score the winning goal or touchdown, he will stop for nothing.  Not even the puny girl casually running down the sidelines minding her own business.  He will run her over without any sympathy or regret whatsoever.  I have experienced this one too many times.  Therefore, it is my goal to dedicate my gym class career into helping others avoid these people. 
    

The absolute worst thing one can do is summon the gym class hero to a physical challenge.  No matter how ridiculous or impossible this challenge may be, his pride will always be way too strong to turn it down.  The most unfortunate situation is getting thrown into a gym class with two competing heroes.  They will bleed out on the flicker-ball field just to prove to the rest of the class who the real tough-guy is.  Balls will fly, arms will flail, and eyes will roll.  These boys show no mercy and will without a doubt fight to the death in order to achieve the title of the physical education champion.
    

Surprisingly, these olympiads are also prone to injuries.  It brings him great joy to walk through the hallways after gym class with a giant gash on his forehead from the aggressive game of two-hand-touch he just played.  It is not uncommon to see him limping around because he sprained his ankle defending the goal while playing a game of gym class soccer.  However, he will pass the true test of strength by refusing to go to the nurse and continuing to play through these “injuries,” even though he makes it obvious to everyone that he is suffering terribly.
    

Contrary to popular belief, there is one time when the presence of one of these heroes is a good thing.  That’s when he is not on the opposing team.  He will automatically elect himself as captain, since no one else would be fit to do the job.  Then a select few of the other students in the gym class will have the honor of being chosen by the gym class hero.  Next, the second best person on the team will be scouted out.  Again, it is usually a male.  This kid’s job is to throw the hero long passes so he can score all the touchdowns.  This is just another attempt at showing off that no one cares about.  Personally, I love being in this situation because I can sit back and relax while they do all the work.  Another personal bonus is that I won’t lose any points for not participating because the gym teacher realizes it is physically impossible for anyone else to involve themselves in the game.
    

Obviously, I am not a fan of these so called heroes, but sometimes I can’t help but feel bad for them.  These kids have to go through so much effort to try and prove their worthiness for a title that does not really even matter.  Whether or not they  are aware of how their actions affect other people, they will always be resented by the rest of the class.  These boys may consider themselves to be heroes, but everyone else around sees them as the antagonist of the plot of the modern physical education class.