What We Need: Cabbage With College Degrees | Teen Ink

What We Need: Cabbage With College Degrees

March 18, 2015
By Samanthalijun PLATINUM, Farmington, New Mexico
Samanthalijun PLATINUM, Farmington, New Mexico
25 articles 0 photos 0 comments

     As everyone knows, it is very important for students to be well rounded. They must advance to the highest level of study in all academic subjects, no matter how trivial these classes may be. Their class schedule must contain higher-level lessons in all subjects in order for them to be permitted to graduate. It is not important to specialize a student’s classes based on their future career, it is much more practical to load them with as many classes in as many subjects as possible in order to contribute to the American image of standardized education. If a student plans to study the humanities, it is very important that they have advanced knowledge of physics, chemistry, and calculus. If a person plans to be an engineer, it is vital to their future that they are made to take classes in advanced literature and history, even if it prevents them from fitting math, science, or any other pertinent classes into their schedule. After all, it is more important that a student have a 4.6 GPA and a rudimentary knowledge of many subjects so that they will be more appealing to competitive universities than it is for them to be prepared for their actual field of study.


     One might argue that the specialization of schedules would lead to higher graduation rates, that if students were to study more of the subjects that they have an affinity for and are relevant to their future, they may be more likely to stay in school and pass their classes. School cannot, however, become too easy for the students. Administration should not let students take classes based upon their interests and career needs because they might begin to enjoy it, and if school is not challenging and somewhat stressful for students then it will foster laziness within them and they will begin to expect an education suited to their specific needs instead of one generalized for all young people.


     Graduation requirements must remain inflexible, administrators must hold steadfast to the way things have traditionally been done. Students should have to learn how to deal with a packed, standardized schedule unsuited for their needs or interests because it will prepare them for the trials of life and teach them how to deal with challenges in the workplace, even if it will not prepare them to be well suited for their career.


     Mark Twain once said; “Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond, cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” This obviously means that we should neglect to train our students individually and provide them with a generalized education so that they may become cauliflower and not peaches. Although peaches might be more appreciated for their sweet flavor and the diversity in which recipes they can be used in, cauliflower has been noted by mathematicians for its distinct fractal dimension, which is a ratio comparing the complexity of detail in the pattern of cauliflower stalks depending upon the scale at which they are measured. I am privy to that critical information on cauliflower, luckily, because my helpful administrators made me drop out of a dual credit humanities class in order to take yet another year of science. Obviously, what we need, is more cabbage with college degrees.


The author's comments:

My english teacher requested a satirical essay.


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