WASHINGTON—Citing projections that air pollution levels in the United States could actually be falling, the Environmental Protection Agency has announced that Americans should drive their cars more. “Just drive. People in large cities might even consider just leaving their cars on for a few extra hours on the weekends,” said EPA Commissioner Lisa Jackson at a press conference Tuesday morning.

The EPA's call to action comes after speculation that recent political efforts to reduce air pollution have been somewhat successful. Though no official studies were released one way or another, Commissioner Jackson said during an interview, “We really just don't want to leave it to chance. Are things turning around? I don't know. But I think we have an obligation to inform the American people they can do what they want. And that includes sitting in traffic for hours as they commute into the cities for work.”

Other recommendations released by the EPA on Tuesday include a push for automakers to reduce fuel efficiency in their new models. The advent of the electric car and high-efficiency vehicles like Smart Cars, combined with the general trend toward greater efficiency that has spread through automakers worldwide, has actually made a difference in the human impact on the environment, according to the EPA. “A few years ago, we really thought the Bush Administration had saved us from this, but a need for efficiency has really infected the American public,” and EPA spokesman said. “It's a lot like the way, after 9/11, everyone was suddenly afraid of terrorists. I mean, Al Gore makes a movie and suddenly, everyone is afraid of global warming.”

Fearing drastic budget cuts if pollution levels fall, the EPA also said it is exploring ways to encourage industrial pollution, including ending all industrial carbon dioxide emissions caps and a recommendation to Congress that tax breaks be given to businesses that pollute more, rather than less, as a good way to reenergize the economy. Insisting that the U.S. has proven in the last few years we could minimize or even stop climate change if we really wanted to, Tuesday's press release says, “It is time to stop trying to do something we already know we could probably do.”

The Obama Administration responded to the EPA's announcement with a statement later in the day, Tuesday. In it, the administration criticized the EPA saying, “The EPA's main function is to protect the environment and protect human health, and they are failing to do that.”

Commissioner Jackson responded, however, saying that protecting the environment is exactly what this proposal is about. “Are we protecting every bird and plant out there? No, but we are protecting the environment that has made America great: the environment of capitalism. The environment in which our businesses operate is the most important environment, and businesses need oil and they need coal and they need people to make it to work every day.” Another concern shared by many conservatives is China's growing pollution. A midlevel State Department official said, “[China's] second great leap forward has really been in pollution, and there is a lot of concern that their total indifference to that will draw even more industry out of the United States. Plus, it is just not right for America to be second in anything.” Lower levels of pollution in the U.S. compared to China were a source of embarrassment for the neoconservatives of the last administration, but this administration seems to have “lost sight of American greatness,” says the State Department official.

The political controversies surrounding climate change are nothing new. A spokesman for the advocacy group American Capitalists for More American Capitalism, which lobbies all levels of American government to protect big business, says the EPA has finally done something right. “For years, liberals have tried to deny Americans many of their God-given individual rights, and those rights include burning fossil fuels and cutting down forests. What's the point of being human,” he asked during the interview, “if you can't assert your dominance over nature?”

Another source inside the government, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, informed the press that, though a lot of liberals champion the EPA for protecting the environment, “the political left is really at fault here. Clearly, their policies have restricted Americans enough, and the EPA has finally said, ‘No. It is time for Americans to do what they want.'”

The political battle around pollution, climate change, and the EPA's new position likely will continue to rage for some time. The EPA has said twice this week that they will push for fewer or no pollution regulations. The Obama Administration has opposed the idea of reducing environmental regulations, but the lack of initiative it showed during the gun control debate will likely also prevent any real action against the EPA's new policy. Even many Democrats in Washington appear to believe that, having tried to do something to protect the environment, they can now safely give up. For the time being, at least, Americans can rest assured that they have absolute freedom to pursue profit and happiness no matter what impact their actions may have on the environment.