In the trailer for the romantic comedy “Must Love Dogs,” John Cusack’s character, John Anderson, describes the woman he is dating as “a mess, it’s fantastic.” The trailer for “Bewitched,” another romantic comedy, shows Isabel Bigelow (Nicole Kidman) gushing to a friend about her love interest, Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell), and how he is a “mess.” She says she adores it because it means he needs her. I find it odd and interesting that I received two servings of this “messy love” in one sitting and I’m sure these are not the only movies using this theme. Think of all the romances where the object of affection is a complete mess - there are a lot.

But why is this a common theme? Does the movie industry want their target audience of 13 to 30-year-old women to think it’s desirable for men to fall in love with 40-year-old women with issues? Or is the message that men with problems are something women should shoot for? Should a messy personality really be shown to equal romance? Personally, as an unattached (sigh) 17-year-old, a guy with problems is not something I want right now. I’d like a nice guy who has some direction in life.

If Isabel Bigelow wants normalcy and thinks that dating a man who “needs” her will bring that to her life, she needs to take a self-esteem class. If John Anderson thinks that dating a woman who is a mess is a capital idea, he needs to update his dating profile. In my few years of dating, I have learned that fixing personality problems is not the most exciting thing in life and usually leads to more problems.

I understand that all people have problems and that no one is perfect, really I do, but why can’t directors/filmmakers/script writers make romantic characters strong, dependable and supportive? Why can’t the messes take a back seat to the actual love? I think that would make romantic movies even better than they already are.