Inside the mind of a psycho

“Can you tell us, why you did that?”
“Yes…you better listen carefully…”
“…I never really wanted to do the crime, but it seemed if I didn’t then that jerk would get his way. You see, I was walking in the park, near Lexington Avenue when out of nowhere I see a man dressed in a tuxedo push his way through the crowd. Now, I know that some people are in hurries and all but after awhile, it becomes very disappointing to see that some of those rich things would not stop just a moment to apologize, as that guy didn’t. Instead, he bumped into an old lady, told her to move her skinny white expletive and ran on. Running pass me, I noticed that he was carrying a bouquet of flowers, roses actually. But the way that he ram straight into that poor elderly lady was unacceptable, he just pushed her to the side and didn’t even pause to see if she was okay. Now, had the lady moved side to side and purposely get in his way, then I wouldn’t blame him but; he just ram into her. Running up to him, I looked over at him.
“Excuse me” I spoke.
Immediately, he looked at me with a look that said don’t bother me.
“What?” He asked, bluntly.
Pointing to the lady, who was getting up, I looked at him.
“You pushed her down” I explained, “And I think that you may have not noticed the fact but…”
“I know I pushed her, why do you care?”
“Well, would you please be a gentleman and go and apologize?” I asked.
He spat his gum out on the ground and looked at me.
“No, she can deal with it.”
“But, sir, she may have cut open her arm or…”
“Read my lips: I don’t care. Now move or I’ll push you down.”
Three chances, that’s how many I give but some people, the rich kind, just never seem to want to repent. So, I watched him go towards a set of luxury apartments. Following him, I saw that his name is Mr. Matt M. So, I went out, got some dinner, waited until night, and went back to his house.
All I did was push him as soon as he answered his door. I didn’t know that he would hit the ground so hard nor did I expect to kick him so hard that he hit his head against the granite wall.
I never meant to kill him; I just thought that he had passed out. So, I went home and saw that he died on the news. Yeah, I felt sad but then again, I figured that he deserved it. After all, rich people usually care about themselves, not all, but some just care for only themselves. I mean, look at all those fools in Hollywood…M.C. Hammer, Johnny Depp, Paris Hilton, and much more; they care for only themselves. I mean, I never wanted to kill more rich people but then I saw another jerk on my way to the store.
This one was a blonde girl who was yelling and calling a girl, who wasn’t as beautiful, names. She yelled and yelled and the other girl was crying so, I went over.
“Um, excuse me” I inquired.
“What do you want?” The blonde demanded.
“Why are you screaming at this young girl?” I asked, “What did she do to you?”
The blonde glared at the girl and opened her mouth.
“She was checking my boyfriend out and I was just showing were her place is!” The blonde spoke.
Nodding, I looked at the two.
“Well” I started, “Maybe if you two just talked it out, then you could come to a…”
“She was checking my boyfriend out!”
“And maybe if you two talked it out…”
Sighing, the blonde reached into her purse and threw a wad of cash at me.
“There, you freak” She snarled, “Now get out of here!”
“Ma’am, I don’t want your money, I just want you two to be peaceful and…”
Shut up, jerk!” She yelled, “Or else I’ll pepper spray you!”
Dropping her cash on the ground, I walked off and entered a grocery store. Buying some hornet spray, I came out only to see the blonde pepper spray the other girl and then climb into her pink Cadillac and drive off. After helping the other girl get the pepper spray out of her eyes, I traveled around the city and looked for the pink limousine with the license plate XYU- UYX1. Once I found the car, I saw her go into her penthouse with a dozen Von Maur bags. So, I waited until nighttime before going back to her penthouse. You know those labels on those insects sprays marked: do not spray in eyes? They don’t lie, I’ll tell you that. Oh, also, never swallow around a cup of those sprays, trust me.
Not all the rich people I ran into were that stubborn. I ran into a gentleman who didn’t give charity to any one and he even made fun of the people asking for the charity. So, I walked up to him and told him if he had ever been poor. He told me yes and I responded with:
“Did you ever ask for charity?”
He nodded.
“How did you feel when people didn’t give you any?”
“Mad.”
“How do you think they feel?”
He thought for a moment and smiled at me.
“Thank you.” He said.
I smiled and nodded. Now, all the homeless people call him “generous John,” because he gives so much charity. Another incident involved a lady who was buying all the expensive perfumes and clothes at a mall. Everyone was envious of her and then, just as I approached her, she walked over to a Good will bin and dropped them all in. She then proceeded to give over a thousand dollars to the Salvation Army.
Yes, there are some good rich people in this world but then, there are the ones who are just jerks. A couple days ago, I walked into an antiques store and saw a young man in his twenties, yelling at the store clerk about buying a diamond.
“What the heck do you mean that his stone is worth two grand?” the man asked.
“Sir,” The clerk said, “That’s the price, I’m sorry if…”
“What?” the man demanded, “Do you know who I am? I am the son of one of the richest men in New York!”
“Um, excuse me” I inquired, “What is the matter?”
The young man looked at me with a disgusting look.
“Who th’ heck are you?” The young man asked.
“I’m just trying to help” I said, “Is that ring for your fiancé’?”
“NO! It’s for me!”
I looked at him with a puzzled face.
“Why would you buy a diamond for yourself?” I asked.
“I’m putting diamonds on my Super Bowl Football” The young man said, “And , may I ask you why don’t you just go take a hike before I hike up your…”
“Sir, couldn’t you just buy a smaller diamond?”
He looked at me, offended.
“No, I want this one!”
Three chances, I gave him one more.
“But sir…”
“Just get out of my way, freak!”
So, I waked to the back of the store and bought an old bull whip. Then, I followed him home.”

“Why did you give them three chances?”
“I feel like three is enough…Now may I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“Would you like me to finish my story?”