Pee-Wee Herman had a farm, E-I-E-I-O! Now that I have your attention, I can begin my "god-send" (ha, ha!) of an article. I suppose I should let my English teacher, Mrs. Street, proofread this first...Nah!

Anyhow, I've been thinking lately (Oh, no! There goes the security of the nation!) about the environment. Think about it: everything is so lovely here, the trees, the grass, the air (No, no, no! Now concentrate! You have to stay on one train of thought at a time. Begin again).

Anyhow, I've been thinking lately (oh, no! Stop! One train, one train...) about the environment, la dee-dee, da dum, shoop shoop! (Knock it off! Now write the article like a normal...well, however normal you can be) Oh, well.

As I was saying, the environment is very messed up. We've destroyed our mother earth like brutal, savage, blood-thirsty, (Stop! Now, are you going to write the article or not?) O.K., O.K.

Somewhere in the atmosphere there is a hole. Sucking the life out of all of us. Taking good programming off the air, removing the (Forget it! I thought you were supposed to be writing an article on being strange?) n