Upon establishingempirical dominance over the world,
I would eliminate the masses of teenagegirls, so lacking in confidence,

that they must stand, huddled, in groupsof no less than eight,
Exclusive groups and cliques that stretch across ourculture,
The media-saturated minds of a nation, unable to form simpleopinions,
The Bible according to Abercrombie and Fitch,
And thenarrow-minded consciousness of a generation fooled into believing

thatit's different from its predecessors.

Upon establishing empiricaldominance over the world,
Roadblocks to equality, including affirmativeaction, would be lifted,
There'd be no destruction of our forests, skies orplains,

only tree-loving-bear-hugging-eagle-flying-backpacking wildernesseverywhere,
And there'd be no more blame game, as a firm grasp ofresponsibility would

float into everyday life.

Upon establishingempirical dominance over the world,
You would not have incapable driverscovering the roads,
Expensive exercise machines that clutter closets acrossAmerica,
Or adults who feel the need to abuse children, either physically oremotionally,
You wouldn't have doctors who believe every problem can be solvedwith a pill,
Or young people who believe that they will never die,
You alsowill see the youth of today pay reverence to our nation's past by respecting theveterans who fought and died to protect the freedom we enjoy today.

Uponestablishing empirical dominance over the world,
Santa Fe-style chalupas wouldbe a fruit, and handmade galishkas would be

sold in vendingmachines.
All lovers of nature and the preservers of a natural lifestyle wouldslow down

the pace of technology,
And an average guy who sometimestalks too much,
Who, despite his true intentions, sometimes offends otherpeople with his

crude sense of humor,
Who overthinks things so muchthat he will give himself an ulcer by the age

of twenty-five,
And whosometimes forgets to show how much he really appreciates all of

thewonderful things people do for him,
Would still be allowed toestablish
empirical dominance over the world.