I scream and scream yet I know that no one is listening. The padded white walls

surround me driving me insane causing me to tear and claw at my face. Within seconds I start to feel the searing pain as the blood begins to run down my face and into my eyes turning everything a vivid red. I close my eyes and I quickly begin to spiral into my depressions depth; the day of my sister Natalya's death: the day that changed my life forever.




I tip-toe to my dads bedroom door and peek inside, he's sound asleep. I close the door and walk past my little sisters silent room. I quietly run to the stairs and take them down two at a time. I cross the living room to the front door then I hear the floorboards creak above me. "S***, he's awake," I look around for a place to hide.

"Dad?" My sister calls out from the bottom of the stairs.


"No it's me Fira," I answer quietly.

She walks closer towards me and looks me over. "Where are you going dressed like that?" She demands pointing at my short red skirt.
"Today is my boyfriends birthday so I'm going to his party to give him his present."
"Matt?" She asks unsure.

"No the muffin man," I say sarcastically. "Yes Matt you retard and if you don't mind I'm later as it is," I turn towards the door and open it.

"If you go I'm going to tell dad," she says quickly.

I slam the door and quickly turn around,"What is it you want this time?" I ask annoyed. She smiles,"I want to go with you."

"What? No way! Your only thirteen."

"Like that matters your not much older than me," she huffs. "Besides if you don't take me I'll go wake up dad and let him know your sneaking out. I'm sure he'll just love your outfit, I know I do," she says sarcastically.

I contemplate getting in trouble or taking my sister with me. I decide tom take the less evil of the two and take my sister. "Fine you can come, but no drinking," I say sternly.

"Yeah, whatever," she says rolling her eyes.

"Come on lets go," I say slightly annoyed at her bitchy attitude.

"No way, I can't leave looking like this," she says while pointing to her clothes. "I need to go get ready."

"Natalya! I don't have time for this stupid bullshit," I screech.

"Well you better make time or you won't be going at all."





"Neither will you."


"Whatever," she says and walks up the stairs.


Two pounds of makeup and thirty minutes later she's ready. "You look like a hooker, I didn't know you even had anything like that in your closet," I don't," she says smiling. "You do," she shoves past me and opens the front door. "Lets go, you don't want to be late," she says sarcastically.

I sigh and grab the car keys. "Yeah I don't want to be late," I say regretfully then I shut the door.



I turn down the old dirt road and take a left down Matt's long gravel driveway. We're still a half mile from his house yet I can see the outline of it towering above the great oak trees. “Wow,” Natalya gasps. “Does Matt really live here?” She asks in disbelief.

“It’s just his families summer house, he doesn’t live here all the time.”

“It’s so big,” she says staring at the white Victorian mansion.

I park the car on the grass and turn off the engine. “Do you remember what I said before we left?” I ask.

“I look like a hooker?” She asks uncertain.

“Yes but I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about before that when I agreed you could come.” I say impatiently.

“No. What did you say?”

“Not to drink you airhead?”

“Fine, you don’t have to be a b****.”

“Yes I do or you won’t listen.” I open the car door; slamming it; locking it behind me. “Natalya stay with me and help find Matt.”

She looks longingly at the boys on the front lawn, “But I,” she begins.

“Will stay with me,” I finish. “Sorry to burst your bubble. Now let’s go.” I grab her arm and pull her up the front lawn pass the guys she was gawking at only moments ago. She takes one last look then I pull her through the front door.

I look around the house and there’s people everywhere, most of them by the looks of them already drunk. I tighten my grip on my sisters arm and push my way through the dancing crowd then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, “Would you two fine ladies like some beer?” A boy from my history class asks holding out two red plastic cups.

“No we’re fine,” I say smiling.

“I know you girls are fine,” he says staring at my sister, “but do you girls want some beer?”

“No we’re good.”

“Whatever,” he says disappointed and disappears into the dancing crowd.
“Why did you do that?” Natalya demands. “Ooh I love this song!” She says jumping up and down.

I roll my eyes, “Natalya I don’t have time for this. Let’s go!”

“Leave me alone! I don’t care what you do or don’t have time for,” she shouts.

“Your such a b****. I wish I would have decided to stay home.”

“Well you didn’t and now your stuck with me. If you want I can stay here and dance while you look for Matt.” She offers.

“I would if I wasn’t scared you would do something stupid, like always.”

“I just want to dance,” she insists.

“Whatever, but if you drink I swear to god I will tell dad, I don’t care if I get in trouble too.”

“Okay, okay I won’t drink. God your so uptight I don’t know what Matt see’s in you. I’d be a better girl for him then you,” she says smugly.

I gasp in disbelief, did she really just say that? “Really? Well I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t like a little girl like you,” I hiss then I stomp off to find Matt leaving Natalya with her jaw on the floor. “Stupid b****,” I mutter under my breath. I walk through the crowd towards Matt’s room hoping to find him. Holding my breath I reach his bedroom door, hesitintly I wrap my fingers around the door knob and twist, he’s not there. I turn around and close the door behind me then I head towards the kitchen to try and find him. I scan through the crowd of people and sigh, he’s not here. I turn to leave the kitchen and almost run face first into Matt’s friend Hayden.

“Oh I’m sorry Hayden.”

“It’s no big deal,” he smiles and starts to walk away.

“Hayden,” I shout.

He turns around, “Yeah?”

Do you know where Matt is?” I ask.

“Umm he’s,” before he could finish I hear a scream upstairs.

“What’s that,” I ask

“I don’t know,” he says worried. I push past him and run upstairs. I look around trying to figure out which room the scream came from then I hear a whimper to the right of me. I walk to the door and put my ear to it.

Faintly I hear a small voice, “Please stop, it hurts.”

“Stop fighting and it won’t hurt,” Matt growls. I take a step back in shock. It couldn’t be Matt, could it? Hands shaking I reach for the door knob and close my eyes.

“Please let me be wrong,” I whisper to myself then I open the door. I open my eyes and tears begin to fall from my eyes, it’s Matt, but my heart shatters when I see the face of the girl that screamed, the face of my little sister.

“Matt,” I screech, “What are you doing?” He looks at me his face twisted in anger.

“Fira help me,” my sister looks at me with tears in her eyes.

I run towards Matt pulling my knife from my pocket. “Get off of her,” I scream plungging the knife towards him. He rolls and before I realize my knife sinks deep into my little sisters back. She screams in pain and slumps over, smiling Matt stands up pushing my little sister off of him taking a few steps towards me.

“Ahh just in time. It seems I’ve made a mistake, you’re next,” he growls. I take a step backwards then I look down at the bloody knife in my hand.

“I’m going to kill you,” I scream running at him. Shocked he takes a step back and I stab him in the chest. He drops to his knees with the knife in his chest. His mouth opens but only blood comes out, he crumples over on to the floor and his eyes begin to glaze over. I lean over him and rip the knife out of his chest. I stand up and turn towards my sisters body, tears spill from my eyes as I walk to her crumpled body, then I fall to my knees in a pool of her blood. “It’s all my fault,” I cry pulling her body into my arms.

“Fira,” she gasps. I jump at the sound of her voice.

“Natalya. Oh my God hold on I’m calling an ambulance.” I reach for the phone in my pocket but it isn’t there anymore.” I look at the people at the door, “someone call 911,” I scream. “Please she’s dying.”

“Fira,” she whispers faintly. “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault I shouldn’t,” I cut her off.

“No it’s not,” I grab her hand. “It’s mine. Just hold on you’ll make it, helps coming.” She squeezes my hand then closing her eyes she lets go, her hand hits the floor then she lets out her last breath.




I open my eyes and sigh. There never was a funeral my dad couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t handle the fact that I killed my own sister. He sent me to the insane asylum and a month later killed himself, now I’m a ward of the state and they want me here for the rest of my life.