The Better to See You With | Teen Ink

The Better to See You With

August 25, 2013
By JosefinaOBrian BRONZE, Laramie, Wyoming
More by this author
JosefinaOBrian BRONZE, Laramie, Wyoming
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

So my parents dumped me. They decided that they couldn’t handle me all summer. I don’t blame them after the whole “rent the house to circus performers” scheme and the whole “make my own cult” thing I was working on but honestly Aunt Camilla? Anything would have been better than my crazy banana obsessed cat lady aunt. They could send me to a military camp in North Korea, a trip to Tanzania to study rare diseases, I wouldn’t even mind if they made me stay with my brainwashed conformist cousins in Maine. Anything was better than this. I grabbed my two duffels from the grass and turned around to look at my new prison. Aunt Camilla’s house is a slap in the face. It originally must have been a banana yellow house in the 60’s but now it’s more of an omelet color, especially with the faded white wrap around porch. I hauled my bag up the creaky stairs and stopped at the mat in front of the door that said, wait for it... “ Intellectual Property has the shelf life of a Banana, Bill Gates”. Yeah… only Bill Gates can make bananas sound intelligent. I walked right over the mat and knocked on the door which started losing chips of paint as I knocked.

“Hey anybody home? Aunt Camilla? Can I come in?” I shouted at the door. No answer. “Ok whatever I’m coming in any way!” I creaked open the door and stepped into a horrifying scene. They almost killed me. ALL. THE. BANANAS. They were everywhere, banana kitchen rags, banana china plates, banana colored walls, paintings of bananas, banana rug, and of course to top it off a giant bowl on the kitchen counter full of you guessed it, bananas. To ease my massive banana induced headache I walked out of the kitchen into the next room which thank god was not banana themed. It was kind of normal living room. The kind that has huge bumpy couches and an old tv no one has used in twenty years. “Aunt Camilla?!” I called again. Again, no answer. I walked around to the rest of the room on the first floor. My worst fear was confirmed, my aunt was banana obsessed. There were at least two things in every room that were banana related in some way. “Aunt Camilla! You’re not dead right?!” I called seriously hoping I wouldn’t have to explain to mom and dad how I managed to kill my aunt on the first day. Luckily I didn’t because upstairs there was a creak and then another and another and then thudding steps on the stairs and then a giant orange hat. Aunt Camilla was wearing an orange Mumu covered in little palm tree which was adorned with a giant orange sun hat. It wasn’t a great look on her but then again I don’t know what would be. Aunt Camilla has what I would call a water balloon figure. She looks like someone took her upper body and squeezed, so you could say she’s big down under.

“Andrea! My little plantain!!!!!” cried Aunt Camilla when she saw me. I ground my teeth really hard. Andrea? Did she not get the memo a year ago? She came and enveloped me in a banana scented, orange hug.

“It’s Andalasia now Aunt Camilla” I groaned as she squeezed me in her killer embrace. She looked back and patted her Mumu as if it could get wrinkled.

“Oh that’s so cute! Changing your name! Your mother did mention something about it, the poor dear she worries so much about you! But I just told her Nora, don’t you worry at all Adre-“ she paused and winked at me, “Andalasia isn’t going to be any trouble! So sorry I didn’t see you come in I was just upstairs cleaning out the attic. Such a mess I guess the owner before me never cleaned it out, so irresponsible” I groaned on the inside and smiled on the outside. “Now Andie, can I call you Andie?” she didn’t wait for my answer, “ First you have to meet Potassium then I’ll show you your room and then maybe some lunch. Have you already eaten? Well I’ll feed you anyway I have a lovely casserole in the fridge and some left over banana bread too” she pretty much did this all the way to the back of the house where she opened the back door and started doing this….”Here Pottasium! Here my wittle puwwupy wuppy! Come her my little ray of sunshine!” and in came trotting the banana reincarnated as an animal. Potassium was a yellowish furred dachshund. He was chubby and his elongated stomach curved down so he looked like a walking, breathing banana. The little dog scurried to Aunt Camilla and nuzzled up to her leg then looked at me narrowed his little eyes and started this little rumble of a growl. “Potassium meet your new friend, Andie!” cried Aunt Camilla picking up Potassium and cradling him in her arms. The dog kept glaring at me and the growl transformed into a high pitched and extremely annoying bark. So aunt Camilla talked my ear off and Potassium the banana daemon barked at me all the way up the stairs and too my room. My room actually wasn’t sickening! It was very Martha Stewart but not banana themed. Never mind I take that back, on the floor was a purple banana rug. I dumped my bags by the dresser and swept the room. Four post bed, one dresser, banana rug, bed side tables, and windows. At least the windows were nice. I peeked out to see a never ending dark green forest. Not bad. “You are just going to adore Somerset! The cutest little town and only a short walk away. Lots of nice little stores, I’m sure you can go shopping while you’re here” I bit back a smirk, shopping it was like a foreign word for me. I saw Aunt Camilla look over my clothes, ripped black skinnies, loose red band shirt, ankle high black boots, rings on every other finger, and piercing all the way up my ears. Not to mention my fabulous purple ended hair. “I’m sure there is a store for you” said Aunt Camilla with a kind of pitiful smile. “So what about lunch! I’ll go fix something!” she bubbled already heading out the door. “Holler if you need me my little plantain!” she crowed from outside. I groaned and threw myself on the bed. This was so unfair. I glared at the flower printed purple bed spread and smacked on of the furry pillows.

“Grrrrrr this is so unfair” I said to myself. I buried my face in the ugly bed spread. “I hate flowers and I really hate bananas”

I crawled up the stairs to the house my eardrums aching from Aunt Camilla’s never ending chatter and Potassium’s obvious dislike towards me. I thought I might die if I heard another story about what Cynthia said about so and so person I don’t care about at all. God, I hate this. I hate this house. I hate my Aunt’s gossiping, I hate Cynthia, I hate my parents for sending me here, I hate myself for getting me here, I hate Potassium, and I really hate bananas. I walked down the banana art decorated hallway and stopped at my room when the attic stair case caught my eye. I wish Aunt Camilla had closed it, the big gaping whole leading into the attic was very creepy. I walked over to see if I could close it myself but almost tripped over a cardboard box before I could get much further. Getting my footing again I looked at the box ready to kick it or hiss some curse at it but again something else caught my eye. I leaned down balancing on my toes to see the pile of books inside the box. They were all very dusty and old books. I took out one to see that the corner was burnt off, the title read, Words Written: A Novel. I set it down next to me and took out the next book. This one I recognized, Frankenstein. The old yellowed book had a toddler like drawing of what could have been Frankenstein or Shrek on the cover, it really could have gone either way. I set it down as well and pulled out another, this one was a red book with white lettering. The Three Musketeers. Boring! A bunch of guys running around in capes with big feathery hats, no thank you. I pulled out the next book was big, it had a dark green cover with gold ivy all over it. I flipped it over to read, Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tale. This one was not boring. I flipped to the first couple pages until I found a black ink illustration of a very pretty girl in a ridiculous puffy gown holding a severed head in one hand and a magic wand thing in the other. Definitely not boring. The caption below the picture said,

“The maiden fetched the magic wand and she took the dead girl’s head and dropped three drops of blood on the ground”
I scrolled back a page or two to the beginning of the story, Sweetheart Roland. Cradling the book in my lap I read through the story. Basically this chick, who was beautiful and kind, lived with her evil step mother and her fugly evil step sister. For some reason her step mom wanted to kill her so she tricked the evil witch lady into killing her own daughter instead of our damsel in distress. Like a damsel in distress she has a knight in shining armor which would be, Roland. After stealing her step mom’s magic wand she and her boyfriend fled the country. Of course the witch followed and they come up with all these clever tricks to get rid of the witch. In the end, Roland’s mad fiddling skills kill off the witch and he and his girlfriend live happily ever after. The End. I crawled to my feet and tucked the book under my arm before heading into my room. Once inside, I closed the door and fluffed up my bed so it would be much comfier then the walls of the hallway. Then again I opened the book. I read Rose Red and Snow White, The Singing Bone, The Robber Bridegroom, The Shoes that Where Danced to Pieces, The Hut in the Forest, Little Red Riding Hood, The Nix of the Mill Pond, The Master Thief, The Grave Mound, and many other horrifying children’s stories that really should never be read to a little kid. As I was flipping back to the story of The Riddle something slipped out of the book. A scrap of wrinkled old paper. I looked closely at the little yellowed slip and saw the words,
BEWARE DO NOT READ OUTLOUD FOR THE CONSEQUENCE IS DIRE
I laughed, what kind of joke was this? I flipped the paper over where in loopy old fashioned cursive some stuff was written which, of course I read aloud because I have problems with people telling me what to do,
“Fair volume of tale I bring the a key to a world where your fictions may becometh fact. Mei voti factus estverbis ad veneficas ” as I finished a shiver went up my spine. I frowned slightly and put the little slip of paper back in the book. Did it feel colder in here? Naw…I was just imagining it.

“And so Cynthia told me all about Mr. Warburton’s scandalous garden! Can you believe he planted Pansies in the spring! You don’t plant pansies in the spring!” Aunt Camilla laughed wildly as we drifted through the frozen section. I pulled my hoodie over my face and followed her past the frozen produce to the ice cream section where I grabbed some Haagen-Dazs Carmel Cone, one of my secret addictions. I figure that if I’m going to be miserable I might as well be miserable with a tub of ice cream. I threw it in the basket as we turned the corner to the snack section. “Let’s see….aha here they are” Aunt Camilla announced beaming as she grabbed a yellow bag of plantain chips of the shelf. I sighed and pulled the hoodie even more over my face. We walked to the cookie section where a group of teens was planted. It was the kind of group that all are captains of some sports team and all the girls have the same kind of hair and the guys are wearing fancy sneakers that always look new. “Ok that’s off the list… all I need now is foot cream, some carrots, and bananas” she said in a sing song voice. The group of teens looked over and laughed quietly. Then they spotted me. The girls with perfect straight hair started whispering with each other and smiling wickedly and the guys laughed too loudly and talked with their friends. As we passed by them I stuck my tongue out at them, not my best move but hey, it worked. The guys started talking about how I was some messed up emo chick and the girls probably were insulting my clothes.

“Hey Aunt Camilla I’m….going to do some shopping” I lied considering that I really didn’t want to watch Aunt Camilla hunt for foot creams. Aunt Camilla smiled and pushed back the peacock feather that was strapped to her green sunhat.

“Of course my little plantain” she turned around green Mumu billowing behind her and left me in the produce section. I sighed and started to waft around the fruit section. Playing with two pears I pretended that I was really thinking hard about the pears when I was really watching all the people. There was a mom with three little kids who were throwing grapes at each other, an old man who was grumbling to himself over the bell peppers, a lady in a gray blazer with a matching pencil skirt who was balancing a watermelon in one hand while talking on the phone with the other, two girls in medieval dresses by the apple section, a couple arguing in the juice isle…wait medieval dresses? I set down my pears and peered over the fruit. Yeah….I wasn’t imagining it, two girls a bit younger than me were shopping for apples in medieval gowns. The girl in the white dress had red curls of hair vs. the girl in the baby blue dress had almost white, platinum blonde hair. I was too curious, why would two girls go shopping dressed like that? Then I little bell rang in my head….where have I seen this before? Then that bell turned into a siren. Oh crap. I walked around the pears to the apple section and stopped in front of the girls. “Hi I’m Andie what’s your name?” I asked a little firmer then I probably should have asked. The two girls smiled and bowed, like for real….they bowed and held their skirts like they do in the movies.

“Our deepest pleasure to meet you Andie I am Rose Red….” The red headed one paused,

“and I am Snow White but I prefer to go by my given name Bianca” finished the blonde. They bowed again. I stood there in awe. Again, Oh crap.

“Your not screwing with me right?” I asked looking around for the hidden camera crew. They both looked completely confused.

“We do not…” said Rose

“Understand” finished Bianca completing her sister sentence. I looked at them both wildly. They looked just like the illustrations in the fairy tale book.

“Ummm…. How are you here?” I asked. They frowned at each other.

“We wouldn’t know, we were just picking flowers when suddenly….” Bianca started,
“A great sleep over came us and when we awoke we were in a different forest!” finished Rose. I nodded numbly.
“Right….” I murmured. The nodded eagerly.

“We were so scared but the miller found us in the woods!” exclaimed Bianca,

“And he took us to the camp were the others were” said Rose. My mouth hung open.

“Others?” I breathed. I had somehow brought characters from the book out into the real world.

“Yes they were all as surprised as we were! Dark magic some of them told us…” said Rose her eyes wide.
“but others said it was a gift from the lord above that brought us to this strange place” continued Bianca. “You know, you are the first person to greet us here”
“Yes the people in this place have been quit rude, really” said Rose frowning. Her frown quickly turned into a beaming smile though, “But you, Miss Andie have been so kind to us”
“Yes, so kind…Sister mine, do you think….?” Started Bianca
“Yes I do think so, don’t you…?” said Rose.
“Absolutely sister dear” Bianca turned back to me and smiled. “Miss Andie we would be so pleased to offer you some tea, it’s the most….” She ended,
“We can do to thank you for your kindness” finished Rose with the same smile. I nodded slowly. Two fairy tale characters were offering me tea….
“Ummmm well I guess I could…let me just tell my aunt that I’m having tea with Rose Red and Snow White”



Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 0 comments.