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The Darkest Secret
Summary:
It all started 16th of May 1997. That’s when Willow Black ridge was born. Her mother a fey her dad a vampire. Willow was like all the other normal fey children but when she turned two she got a thirst for nothing other than blood. When her dad saw this is his daughter he thought about how horrible her life would be if she went with the vampires. So he left Willow with her Violet eyes, Carmel blonde hair, small frame, 5’6, tan, and wears down to the knee flowly dresses. Willow has so far thought she was a fey but that will change very soon. One more thing there is only one thing Willow has from her dad to connect to him and it holds the key to her powers her Ruby heart necklace
Taylor J.
The Darkest Secret
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This book has 6 comments.
Okay, I have a bit of criticism.
1. Slow down! You have a good idea here, but you really need to slow down the pacing. Take time to describe things, to add a bit of internal monologue.
2. Describe! I want to know more about your characters. Describe what they look like, their habits, their personalities.
3. Dialogue goes on a separate line, especially when someone new is talking.
4. The internet is your friend. I think it would be a good idea if you used it to learn the basics of grammar. Learn how to use commas, when to capitalize, etc.
I know my critique is harsh, but that's only because I really think you have potential here. A little hard work and you'll be one heck of a writer. Keep writing! :)
luvvv it again.....lol
very nice written...love it....but i think yuhh shudd make it longer....but other than that i loved itt!!!!!:)
To be honest i felt it was a little rushed . More like a short story less of a book. It was a good plot i liked where it was going the climax and all that but damons relastionship with the main caracter was rushed into take your time this will be an excellent story . IF you just SLOW down i love everything about it . it is grasphing it kept my attention . This is MY opioion so please dont get offended . Your a great writer keep it up !
3 articles 3 photos 89 comments
Favorite Quote:
true love never dies,it only gets stronger with time.