Will started cussing in like twenty different languages, throwing things across the small office, he even went as far as to punch the wall. I had never seen Will this angry, I mean sure when we dated we went to some party and a random guy grabbed my ass which resulted in the guy being sent to the emergency room. This however, was pure uncontrolled rage. I curled up on the couch, making myself as small as I could. My brother just sat there letting Will go off on his rampage. When will finally settled down he glared at me, pure black carnal rage was evident in his eyes. He grabbed the chair that he had been sitting in and placed it upright. Crashing down he sighed one last time and looked up my brother. “Sorry, dude.” He said gruffly. “No worries, I understand.” Their eyes seemed to communicate with each other. Both of them speaking to the other, through silent communication. They both looked at me at the same exact time. I cringed, shrinking farther into the couch. “What happened? I want to know everything. Three years of silence, three years we spent looking for you. Something happened that was drastic and you need to start talking.” My brother said his voice filled with bossiness. “Still the same bossy a-hole bro?” I said smirking “Still the same stubborn little girl?” “Stubborn but not little” I said with an attitude, and I heard Will cough. I whipped my head to the other side, feeling my neck groan in protest at being handled so violently. “You gonna tell us or what?” Will said looking more scarier than he did when he was throwing his tantrum. I sighed. “Where do you want me to begin?” I said tiredly. “From the time you left.” Will said at the exact same time my brother said. “When did you notice that things weren’t what they seemed?” I let my legs drop to the floor as I stood up starting to pace. “Ok, if I’m going to tell you both then we need to have rules.” I said but then my brother interrupted me. “No rules.” I smirked, “Rule 1) No interrupting me.” I said pointedly at my brother. “Rule two, no freaking out about anything, Stay in your seats.” “Is that it?” Will said I nodded my head and began to tell the story of the fateful night. “I had just gotten of work from the bar. It was only like six o-clocks so the sun hadn’t set yet, still pretty light outside.” I was pacing the room by this point. My palms sweating from how scary the memory was. “I was going to meet my friend Tyler for a drink and I started walking. It was really cold and windy anyway, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that someone was following me.” My voice was shaking as I tried to tell the story. “I turned down this alleyway hoping to escape his notice, that didn’t happen.” I saw Wills fist turn white as he clenched the arm of the chair. “Anyway, I hid behind a dumpster and he followed me. I swear it was so scary bro.” By that time I was sobbing, “There were more this time, six of them to be exact. How if figured that out I don’t know. They were calling out my name! They said that I owned them, that you owned them and since you guys didn’t pay up, then they had to kill me as revenge. The found me and I screamed and screamed. The grabbed me and touched me and..” I trailed off covering my face up with my hands, as I shrank to the ground sobbing into my hands. It was to early, it was like I was re-living the nightmare. I felt two strong warm arms wrap around me tightly, pulling me into an even warmer chest. I snuggled into the person, not caring two bits that it was Will. His cologne drifted into my nostrils. A spicy scent that had me wanting more. I sat up and kept going. “I ran Barret, everything that you taught me how to do, I did. I promise, I just couldn’t get away. They blindfolded me into complete darkness and took me to some old junkyard. I was going to die Barret.” I said roughly sucking in air. “I guess they forgot about me or something and when I was able to untie the ropes that had been binding my wrists I ran like hell. I ran like you taught me bro, never look back and just kept running. I brushed the tears from my eyes, trying to stop my breath from hitching. “They shot at me. I could feel the bullets flying past me. That’s when I decided that maybe you could help me, because you are the reason their shooting at me.” “Why don’t you go hang with Kevin in the living room, Will and I need to talk.” My brother said finally after a deafening couple minutes of silence. I nodded and shakily stood up. Pushing my way out of Wills arms, I left and that’s when I heard the voices being raised. I hesitate before pressing my ear to the cold wooden door. “Kill em?” My brother said ice in his voice “You got it. Damn, she looks so different man.” Will said so softly that I could barely hear him through the door. “Yah she does, we have to tell her everything.” I was quickly confused. Just because I was here didn’t mean that I was going to get all buddy buddy with them again. It just wasn’t happening. I didn’t wait around to hear the rest of their conversation, I walked back into the living room , where I stumbled upon the blonde girl climbing on top of a very uncomfortable looking Kevin. I sighed. “Hun, you need to leave.” I said She glanced up and gave me a snotty look. “I don’t have to leave when you say so, you don’t live here.” She said acting like she knew everything. I sighed and laughed. “That’s where you are wrong. I live here starting today, so you’re just going to have to get used to seeing me.” I shot back. “Plus, I don’t think Will would love to hear that you were trying to get with one of his best friends.” I said threateningly She made a noise and climbed off him and stormed out of the house slamming the door behind her with a loud thud, I walked over to the couch and looked at Kevin. “Thank you”. He said sound relieved. “I thought she was never going to leave me alone.” I smiled and sat down next to him. “You’re welcome.” I thought for a second. “You know, we may have just met but I could already tell that me and you are going to be great friends.” He laughed. “Oh really? Shouldn’t you be all afraid of me?” That’s when I laughed. “You’re kidding right? Why would I be afraid of you?” He shrugged. “I don’t know maybe because I’m way more deadly than I look.” He said with a grin. “Yah and your also a bigger playboy that you think.” A voice said from behind us. I turned around and saw my brother laughing and Will with a scowl on his face. They walked in dressed similar, both wearing dark jeans the only difference was that Will was wearing a white wife beater that brought out his brown chocolate eyes. My brother was wearing a gray shirt that was tight up on his shoulders. Kevin stood up and did a fist bump with my brother who just stared at me. “I missed you little sis, you didn’t have to run away.” He said I ran my fingers through my hair. I nodded my head. “I had no choice, on top of killing someone, you both lied to me. Only later to find out that you guys were the top dogs in one of the most atrocious gangs in America. Tell me brother of mine how was I supposed to react?” He growled actually growled. “You didn’t have to run away. You could have stayed here and talked it out with us. You could have not moved hundreds of miles away, changing your name and everything about you.” He said starting to yell. “Oh yah?” I said with an attitude. “Tell me something then, if I had stayed what would you have done? Hmm?” I said His eyes conveyed thousands of emotions. “I would have told you everything and anything you wanted to know. You just ran away, god you were my only family Court. You could have talked to me.” “After I saw you shoot some guy on the office floor? His blood spilling everywhere and the gun in Wills hand with you standing there smirking. You’re crazy.” “It wasn’t like that, he deserved it.” “No one deserves to die Barret! Not like that, not by a gun, not for no reason.” “There was a reason.” He said coldly. “Oh really and what was it?” I said my hands on my hips glaring. He looked back at Will who shook his head. “I can’t tell you, but what I can tell you is that he deserved to die.” I quickly spun around so they couldn’t see the crystal salty tears that were cascading down my cheeks. I stared out at the green rolling hills that had been casted into a shadow as the sun was setting over the horizon. The pinks and blue hues light up the sky, even the clouds turning a faint pink. “Again, no-one deserves to die like that.” I slid opened the sliding glass door that lead outside. I stepped into the warm summer’s night air. I glanced around the patio; a huge slick silver barbeque was in the corner. Tables and chairs were set up all over. It was my fantasy that had come true. I walked outside feeling the rough texture of the patio tiles underneath my bare feet. The slight breeze brushing across me, making my toes curl and my hair curl slightly.

Barrets.
I was elated; my little sister was back with us, home where she belonged. I grinned to myself as I watched her walk outside, Will and I had done the back patio just the way she had told us one day she wanted it. We were hoping and praying every day that she would come home.
The moment she left, there was a huge gaping hole in my heart. My only blood family had seen me at my scariest. The little girl that I had tried so hard to protect and keep this from and heard me and saw me shoot a guy. Nothing could be done about it.
I turned to look at my best friend and partner in crime and saw the tears that were falling from his eyes. This must be so hard on him, he loved my sister and if I’m right, which I usually am, he still loves her. I walked over and put my hand on his shoulders. “She’s home now man, that’s all that matters and I promise we will kill those no good piece of wankers.”
“They die by my hands though.” He said ice in his voice, one that brooked no argument
“She’s here man; we can keep her safe from harm.” I said trying to calm him down.
“Yah I know and she isn’t going anywhere. She walked away once and I won’t let her again.” He said pain evident in his voice.
I sighed and walked into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. This wasn’t how I pictured my baby sister’s homecoming. Living in the same house with the two of them was going to be hard. My sister’s stubborn, strong headed attitude and my best friends, controlling dominating one, weren’t going to clash well.
I glanced at the picture that was hanging on the fridge, it was of Will and her at the county fair a year before she left. She was grinning and looking up at Will was such adoration in her eyes. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he gazed back at her. The rides were playing in the background but they seemed lost in their own little world. Sighing I took the picture off the fridge and flipped it over on the counter.
I walked back into my office and sat down, we had a couple debts to collect tonight, which wasn’t always that bad, as much as I was a bad ass I hated when I had to hurt people, that’s why I left most of it up to Will. However, those little wannabe wanksters messed with the wrong people; it was time to call in some favors and see what I could find out. If they thought they you could attack my little sister and get away with it, they were kidding themselves.
We were the Okras; the most deadly, feared gang in the country. No-one messed with us unless they had a severe death wish. I picked up the phone and started calling some of the other members of the group over to house tonight. Then it was time to call in some favors, these people were going to die.

A shrilling noise erupted from my pocket interrupting the peaceful sounds of the summer night, I reached down and pulled out my cell phone, the blue screen flashed showing that Dale was calling. Dale was my six month fling, if you could even call it that while I was hiding, after we broke up we still were great friends, if anyone screwed with me, I knew that Dale would be there.
He was the sweetest guy you could ever meet, he was six foot six and had that brown hair that made me want to…..I laughed as I answered the phone.
“Hey Dale babe, what’s up?” I said into the phone.
I heard voices in the background as he spoke.” Where are you sweetie? I drove by your house and the windows were shattered and everything is broken, are you ok?” He said his voice full of worry.
No matter what, even after we had broken up he was still over protective. “I’m visiting my brother for awhile, some stuff happened and I need his help.” I said not going into full detail. “Wait? What do you mean everything at my house is broken?”
He went silent, “What kind of stuff happened? You never mentioned you had a brother. You should have come to me if you needed help” He said clearly avoiding my question. I decided to let it go because I really didn’t want anything else to worry about at that moment.
“Just some stuff happened, not that it matters, and yes I have an older brother, I didn’t tell you because well, it wasn’t that important, I was….” I trailed off not really finishing my sentence; the tears were starting to form in my eyes, causing them to sting.
There was no response. The thing about Dale was that he hated when I was in trouble or hurt in anyway; the one thing that I knew was now a constant in my life was him. Anyone who made me cry suffered the consequences of Dale’s wrath. Whenever something bad happened to me, Dale was always there to make me feel better. “Dale?” I said whispering into the phone.
After what seemed like hours of controlled silence he spoke “Where does your brother live?” He said finally after awhile, his voice going cold and deadly. In his voice that warranted no argument.
“West Virginia.” I said hesitantly. “Why do you need to know that?”
He sighed really hating that I asked him to explain something. That was another thing he hated, having to explain something. It was more than likely just as bad as when I cried. Dale, my brother, and Will were more alike than I ever thought, maybe that was the reason I was so attracted to Dale. He was similar to the two boys that I grew up with. . “Cause, I’m going to come see just to make sure that you’re all right. What is his address?”
“Look I’m fine Dale; you don’t need to come see me.” I said, it would be bad if another guy showed up here. Who knows what my brother, or even Will would do.
“Courtney Hun, just humor me please.”
I quickly gave it to him not really in the mood to argue. Something just didn’t seem right. “Love you angel face, see you soon. Stay safe, and stay out of trouble.” He said into the phone, right before he barked at the people in the background telling them to shut their mouths. I laughed, I swear if I wasn’t on the run I would probably marry this boy.
“Talk to you later Dale.” I said hanging up the phone. I wonder why he wanted to come out here. I mean I guess it wasn’t the smartest Idea to give him my brother’s address. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and stared out at the setting sun that was casting pinkish hues all across the sky.
I turned around, my shoulders hunched to ward off the light summer wind. Sliding open the door I saw my brother and Will lost in their own conversation. I didn’t want to interrupt but I had to take a shower and get some sleep. I could feel my eyes slowly getting heavy, making my want to stretch my arms over my head.
“Bro?” I said just loud enough for him to hear me.
His head went to the side to stare at me, his eyes held a lot of emotions. “What’s up little sis?”
I cleared my throat; I could feel Will’s eyes on me. “What room am I staying in? Or do I need to find a hotel to stay in?”
He drew back like he couldn’t believe I even suggested staying in a hotel. “No, you are staying here, where we can all keep an eye on you. Kevin is staying in your old room but if you don’t mind you can sleep on the pull out couch, until tomorrow, and we’ll go get you a bed and everything else you need.”
I just nodded my head. “I’m only going to be staying until this stuff blows over, and then I’m gone again.” I said soberly.
He turned around back to Will, not being able to face me any longer. I walked outside to the front and pulled my duffel bag out of the car. Turning around I bumped into a solid wall of muscle, looking up into the dark green eyes that haunted my dreams and my every waking thought.
I quickly glanced away, “Move Will.” I said ready to shove him out of my way.
“Nope, sorry no can do princess.”
I tossed my duffel bag on the ground and stuck my hands on my hips. “And, why can’t you?” I said exasperated.
“We need to talk, that’s why.”
I shook my head. “Nope, not happening, you and I don’t need to talk, just please while I’m here stay out of my way.” I said not able to face him any longer; my eyes suddenly finding a huge rock on the ground hugely fascinating.
“Let me explain please.” He said softly
I shook my head, finally looking back up at him with tears in my eyes. “Not in this lifetime.” I tried to get past him but he wouldn’t move. “Please Will just move, I can’t do this right now.” I said nearly begging.
“You can’t do this right now?” He said his voice getting angrier and colder by the second. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS? I searched for you, for three years! We used every contact we had to try and find out where you were. I’ve had countless nights were I’ve gotten no sleep not one wink, because I was thinking about, wondering if you were safe or not? Wondering day after day if you were dead or had found another guy to replace me, someone that would hold you at night, and watch movies with you; that pain is something that I never want to feel again.” He said roughly grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. His eyes pleading with mine; I shook my head, I couldn’t, nor was I the same girl that I was before.
I yanked myself out of his grasp and stared at him. “You know what Will… I don’t care. What happened is the past and I’m trying to move on from it.” I said finally sneaking by him and I bolted up the front porch and into the house, dropping my bag on the couch, I grabbed my shorts and tank top and a towel so I could go take a shower. I sat down for a second; unable to really keep my eyes open, my head spinning from everything that was going on. Maybe I should just nap for a second, then get up and take a shower. I nodded to myself, yah that’s what I would do. Shoving everything off the couch, I drew the blanket over my body, and curled up and let my eyes shut softly. Letting all my weariness seep out of my body, like waves receding from the ocean shore.
Again that night, the recurring nightmare flooded my mind. The dark alleyway, the voices screaming crude things at me, warning me that the more I ran, the more severe the punishment was going to be before they killed me. The bullets screeched by me as I felt one go through my stomach. I looked down only to see red crimson blood, seeping through my shirt. My hands covered in blood as I fell to the cement screaming out in pain and fear, as the guys approached me, surrounding me, touching me even as I slowly faded away.
I woke up from the dream screaming my head off, my forehead drenched in sweat. I bolted up to a sitting position in on the couch, my heart pounding like a herd of elephants were running across it. I looked at the flashing clock on the TV. It was midnight, I had fallen asleep at seven thirty, thinking that I would just take a quick nap; instead I ended up sleeping for four and a half hours.
I heard pounding footsteps coming down the hallway, voices yelling out to me, but I didn’t respond, and looked up to see my brother, Will and Kevin all running in the room carrying guns. My brother saw me and rushed to my side. “What’s wrong? Are you ok? What happened?” He said rubbing a hand on my back, signaling the other two to look around the room. With their guns drawn they searched the room for the thing that had startled me.
I tried to talk but no sounds came out of my mouth. I wrapped my arms around my brother, just needed to feel the comfort of his arms around me. I let myself cry into his shoulder. He picked me up and set me on his lap, rocking me back and forth, like he used to do when I was little.
“Shhh, it’s all going to be ok, I promise you. Nothing can hurt you; I would never let that happen. I promise little sis, we’ll find those guys.”
“Nigh….t..mare.” I finally choked out. I breathed in a couple times, calming my heart down. “I had a nightmare, I was in the alley way and the guys were chasing me, except a bullet hit me and I died.” I said through choking sobs that tore through my chest and throat.
He rocked my back and forth until I was finally able to calm down. I looked at the guys who had finished their search and spoke “Sorry for waking you guys up, I didn’t mean to.”
“Hey, sweetie you don’t need to apologize. It’s ok.” Kevin said tossing his gun to the side of the room on the other couch; where it bounced slightly before settling down. He stretched his arms over his head yawning.
I smiled slightly at the gentle giant. “Go back to bed you guys. I’ll be fine.”
My brother murmured something underneath his breath before setting me back on the couch and covering me back up with a blanket. He grabbed the TV remote and handed it to me. “Want to watch a movie?” He said. “To help you get back to sleep.”
“Sure, do you have any of my Disney movies still?” I may have been an adult but I loved Disney movies more than anything in the world. The fairy tales always made me feel better about myself. I sometimes caught myself wondering if I was ever going to meet my prince charming.
“Yah, I think we actually do. We gave a lot to Will’s little sister.”
I smiled, that was a good thing, Will had a little sister that was seven when I left so she was ten, or about to be ten this year. Alie was the cutest little thing ever. She was a spitting image of her brother. “That’s ok, what movies did you save?”
Kevin was already by the movie cabinet looking through it. He called over towards me “We have beauty and the Beast, Cinderella Two, and Aladdin.”
I instantly felt better. “Aladdin please.” I hadn’t watched a Disney movie in three years. It had been to painful s a memory, the good memories. Several times, I had made Will have a Disney movie marathon with me. He never once complained about it either, just letting me lay on him content with the movie.
Kevin put it in the DVD player and set the volume on low. “Are you sure that you are going to be ok by yourself down here?” He said softly, I noticed that Will had already left the room.
I nodded. “Yah, I’ll fall asleep eventually, but thank you.” I smiled at him, before snuggling under the giant blanket that had been added sometime over the course of the last couple hours. Laying my head on a pillow, I twisted onto my side,
He turned off the lights and stood in the doorway. “Sleep well Courtney, your brother is so happy that you’re back. Just remember that.” He said before he walked out of the room.
I didn’t respond as I let my eyes become glued to the TV. Was I wrong to have run away? Should I have stayed? I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, but was really only minutes. Sitting back up, I switched on the lamp and at up, drawing the blanket up and over my shoulders. I sat there in the light watching the movie. I spotted a brown book lying on the coffee table, I got up and grabbed it, before I wrapped myself in my blanket.
After I had got settled again, I opened the book up on my lap. Inside were pictures and writing. I flipped the first few pages, and noticed that the pictures were of me, different poses, or backgrounds. Some when I wasn’t paying attention, others when I was.
Some with me smiling, or sticking my tongue out at the person taking the picture. One picture stood out, it was of Will and I at the County fair, a year before I left. I was sixteen at the time, he was eighteen. We had just gotten off a rollercoaster and he had won me a teddy bear. I was hugging him around his waist and he had his arms wrapped around me tight. We were staring at each other lost in our little world. Oblivious to everything around us, it was one of the best days that I had ever experienced.
Underneath the picture, there was writing scrawled onto the paper, it read Courtney Ann, my love, my girl, my everything….and she’s gone.
I flipped through the rest of the book that showed pictures of my brother and Will with different guys, they were all smiling and laughing. I gently shut the book and put it back up on top of the coffee table and snuggled back under the blanket. Letting the tears fall from my eyes. I cried myself to sleep that night to the sound of Aladdin’s voice.

I walked downstairs unable to fall back asleep with the sounds of voices playing softly from the downstairs living room. Truth be told, I really didn’t even try to sleep. I laid in bed with my eyes staring straight up at the ceiling. My arms tucked underneath my head. My thoughts were consumed with the little girl downstairs asleep on the couch. Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes, traveling down my face and lading on the pillow, which slowly became saturated with my tears.
I slowly swung my feet over the side of my bed and onto the carpet, carefully easing my weight onto the soles of the feet, cautious as to not make a sound. I didn’t want to risk waking her up. The house has squeaky floors and it would echo throughout the house like a gunshot.
I eased myself into the hallway and down the stairs into the kitchen, turning on the overhead light on the stove, I leaned against it. Wondering where everything went wrong. It was the day she tried to get me to go shopping with her.
~~~
She had begged me to come shopping with her, I didn’t want to, if it was one thing that bothered me it was shopping. But I would use any chance I got to spend it with my girl. However, that fateful day…the day that ended up changing my entire life.
I had told her that her brother and I were going to have a guy day. Watch some sports and just kick back and chill. The look on her face nearly brought me to my knees and I almost….almost went shopping with her. Looking back now, I wish I had. Anyway…..
After I heard the front door slam shut, and the last purr of the engine down the gravel driveway, I went into the office where I found my partner in crime and my best friend since forever sitting in his chair.
“Sup dude?” I said collapsing on the couch, my feet stretched out over the arm rest.
“My sister gone?” he said without even looking up from the papers on his desk.
“She just left; she should be gone for the next couple hours”
He nodded. “Well this should only take a couple minutes, he’s on his way.”
Bobby Pillas was doing “side jobs” and leaking key information to the Michelo’s. We didn’t take well to traders and snitches. He had to be taken out, and It was our job to do it.
We heard the front door open and I sat up pulling the gun out from underneath the couch. Sliding it between my jeans and my skin; I felt the cold metal against my skin, sending shivers up and over my skin. I would never get used to the feeling of the cold metal on my skin. I hated it, knowing that I could kill someone in seconds. I may have hated the gun, but I knew how to use it with deadly accuracy.
I got up and leaned against the wall. My arms crossed over my chest and my feet crossed. My mind drifted off to my wonderful girlfriend, the apple of my eye. Well she was my everything to put in plain and simple. Her red hair was a red as the fire that burned in the summer sun; she had a temper to match it as well. Always arguing with everything her brother and I said. It amused me to no end.
The pounding on the door brought me out of my trance and into reality. I felt the heavy pit in my stomach, I hated killing people, especially people that I had knew, trusted, and told everything to.
He came into the office and glanced at me and my Jordan. “You guys wanted to see me?” He said looking around the room, the sweat on his forehead cascading down his face. He was nervous and scared. Just like the way he should be.
“Yah we did.” Jordan said, his voice turning ice cold. His green eyes turned to a dark moss green, cold and cynical as he stared at the trader.
“About what?”
Jordan laughed “I think you know what. Don’t even start to play games with me.” Fury lacing his voice.
I saw him swallow the lump in his throat. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You want to bet?”
“I promise, someone is setting me up Jordan, I wouldn’t do anything.”
Jordan didn’t say anything for awhile. I walked up behind him. My body blocking the door.
Jordan laughed, and threw his head back. “Oh no, you didn’t do anything? You didn’t really think that I wouldn’t find out? Honestly come on? How dumb do you think I am?”
“I….I...”
Jordan put his hand up for complete silence. “I’m sorry, but you traded vital information and gave away secrets that you shouldn’t have even known about. See you could have kept your mouth shut, but instead you decided to blab. What did they promise you? Money, power? Hmmm what did they promise a little weasel like you?”
He hung his head defeated. “Both sir.”
“And what you do think we do to traders around here? See even though I’ve known you for years, but if I let you off the hook, then everyone is going to think that they can double cross me without punishment.”
I knew that this was tearing at my best friend’s soul. You could only kill so many times before things started to take a toll. But he was right, we weren’t the most feared gang in America because of our tolerance and patience. It was because we were quick to punishment and retaliation.
I saw Jordan nod to me and I slipped the gun out of my jeans and pointed it at the back of his head. I sighed and pressed the barrel of the gun to the back of his head. I sighed “Anything you need to say or do?”
“Just that I’m sorry, and please tell my brother that I love him.”
I nodded my head, I didn’t know who his brother was, but I was going to find out. “I’ll do that. Sorry it has to end this way.” I said as my finger applied pressure to the trigger, I felt the gun go off in my hand and the sound echoing around me. The body crumpled from the chair, lifeless, the blood seeping out onto the carpet.
I heard the front door slam closed, and my heart began to race. The door to the office slammed opened and my girlfriend stood in the doorway. I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. My heart felt like it was smashed with a wrecking ball. I just couldn’t believe it. How could god be this cruel to me.
“Did you do this?” I she said her voice becoming shaky and choppy, like she couldn’t believe that it was happening.
Neither Jordan nor I spoke. The evidence was clear enough. She had just witnessed or saw the aftermath of me killing someone. She looked at me and then looked at the body. Disgust, fear and sorrow filled her eyes. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be ok. Even though I knew it wasn’t going to be. She finally spoke after several minutes of silence. “I’m leaving, don’t follow me, don’t try and find me.” She whispered right before she turned around and ran out of the room.
I stood there shell shocked for a few moments before running after her. I wasn’t going to let her get away. I was going to make her listen. I couldn’t let her get away. The front door slammed and I knew it was too late. I sank to the floor onto my knees, howling out in pain.
I heard the front door open and I glanced up. “Courtney?” I said my voice filled with hope.
“No, sorry man she’s gone.” Jordan said.
The tears leaked from my eyes like rain from the clouds. My heart….I don’t think I had a heart anymore. It was gone…..ripped out of my chest the second the front door slammed shut. I ached all over.
I finally pulled myself up from my knees. Jordan’s tears glistened in the sun, he just lost his only family. I gulped and let my shoulders slump forward defeated. Jordan’s hand slipped onto my shoulders “We’ll find her man, no matter what it takes.”
I didn’t listen I shrugged off his hand and walked away; When I stepped outside the sun shined straight into my eyes, blinding me. I wish I was dead, I couldn’t believe…..I grabbed a chair and flung it hard onto the cement, hearing the deafening crash of metal on cement.
I did that over and over until I couldn’t even lift the chair anymore and that’s when I feel to the ground defeated.
***

I came back from the memory, a puddle of tears on the stove top. I relived that nightmare for days. Going sometimes for weeks on little sleep, I learned to function with only two hours of shut eye a night. If I slept to long I would think about her, if I stayed awake all night I would think about her. Honestly I thought about her all the time.
I turned the tea kettle on. I heard a noise coming from the living room so I slipped from the kitchen and into the room. I saw Courtney rolling around. The blankets were wrapped around her tightly, incasing her entire petite body. I couldn’t believe she died her hair brown. You could still see the twinge of red underneath, but man did I miss the red hair immensely. Though she still had that temper to match it, I smiled at that.
I walked over to the couch and crouched down, so I was kneeling next to her head. I gently reached my hand up to caress her hair. She sighed and rolled towards me, but remained asleep. Her face looked like an angel, her eyelashes casted small shadows on her delicate face. She looked peaceful, and so naïve and innocent.
I started talking to her, “You know baby girl, if I could go back in time, and erase what I did…I would. I would do anything for you. You just don’t see that.”
I laid my head against hers and gently got up, pressing a small kiss to her forehead. I pulled the blanket tighter around her, tucking her in.
I walked up back into the kitchen when I heard the tea kettle go off. I went in and poured the hot steaming water into a coffee mug. I glanced at the clock that read four in the morning. I sighed and added the tea pouch to the water. I was out of energy, mixing the tea cup, I went into the living room and sat on the chair facing the couch, just watching her sleep.
I turned away from her and hit the play button on the D.V.D player, allowing Aladdin to restart again. This time I was determined not to let her go, my heart beat faster as I glanced over at the sweet angel, her mouth open, a soft sound coming from her mouth as she breathed in and out. Her arms gently curled under her head as her head rested on it.
She was like a picture of perfection, so adorable and childlike looking it made me heart clench with guilt, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her body no matter how hard I tried.
````

I woke up in the morning, my neck stiff and sore from the way I had been sleeping, my legs were sprawled over the side of the couch, the blankets tightly wrapped around my body. I tried to sit up, but the only thing I ended up doing was falling off the couch and onto the floor. I banged my feet against the side of the coffee table and winced in pain.
I quickly forced myself into a sitting position, and unwound myself from the tight grip the blankets had on me. I laughed, oh lord, if only someone was watching me, which would have been first class embarrassing. I don’t think I could ever live this down.
Finally after many fruitless attempts to unravel myself, I was able to loosen the blankets enough and worm my way out. I instantly felt the coldness seeping from the air conditioning system that cooled the house to an almost frigid degrees and the first thing I wanted to do was dive back under the covers.
I glanced at the window and saw that the sun was already high in the sky and the birds were flying around the yard chasing each-other happily. I rubbed my eyes with the balls of my hands, yawning like a lion. I arched my back and became satisfied when I heard the cracking and I soon did the same with my neck.
The house had a weird ambiance to it, there was no sounds coming from anywhere, the only noise coming from the hum of the A.C system. I walked into the kitchen and saw two cups of coffee sitting on the counter, gleaming in the summer sun. Pots and pans were piled high all over the place, dirty dishes and silverware was even worse. These boys sure knew how to live messy, I think it might have gotten worse when I left, because when I was here this would have never have happened. I made sure that they kept things cleaned and I always had chores assigned to them.
I hated to act like a Nazi about keeping things clean, but I couldn’t stand for anything to be out of place or dirty. I guess you could say that I was a little OCD when it came to things like that. I believed that everything had its place and home, and that it was to be kept that way.
When I went to pick up the two coffees and note slipped onto the floor, I bent over and swiped it up into my hand.
Dear Courtney,
Us guys went to the gym to work out. There’s food in the fridge if your hungry. We should be back within about an hour or so. Don’t worry we aren’t doing anything illegal. (well besides maybe looking to good)
See you soon, love you.
J/W
The entire time I knew these guys, the never signed their full name unless that absolutely had to. I think that they thought that it left a sense of mystery. Honestly I think that they were just too damn lazy to sign it. I crumpled the note and put it in the recycle bin as I began to clean the kitchen.
Before I rolled up my selves and got to work cleaning the kitchen to glittering perfection, I cranked the radio and started to dance and sing. I was singing to myself as I filled the sink with hot soapy water up to my elbows. I was lost in my own little world when I heard a voice from behind me….that wasn’t the music.
“Still see you do the same thing you did a couple months ago.” I stayed frozen in my spot and spoke softly.
“Dale, how the hell did you get in here without me hearing you?”
I heard him laugh and his footsteps fall on the tile as he approached me. “Cause baby cakes, I’m like a ninja, stealthy and ninjaish.” He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I leant back into his embrace, loving the familiar feeling of his arms, and the familiar scent of his cologne.
“Really Dale? Ninjaish?” I said laughing as I rinsed my hands off with warm water, before turning around and hugging him.
He kissed the top of my head. “Want to tell me why you left without telling me?”
I shook my head and laughed, knowing that he hated when he was left in the dark. He bent his mouth to my ear, and whispered. “Pretty please with sugar on top.” His hot breath sent goose bumps flying up and down my arms and back. I was so tempted to tell him, but an angry Dale was the last thing anyone wanted.
I stood strong and shook my head. “Nope, I’ll tell you another time. But, you can’t be here when my brother gets home. It won’t be pretty for either of you.” I knew that Dale could hold his own but I doubt he could hold it against my brother and Will.
“I know baby girl. But, I’m sorry love. I’m not leaving you, so” He said dragging out the so and hugging my tighter. “You have two options. One, you can leave with me and we can go chill somewhere. Or option two, I can hang out here and help you clean the kitchen and then we can go hand out.”
I smiled; Dale was the coolest guy in the world. Who could make me smile at anytime of the day, no matter what mood I happened to be in that day. I pretended to ponder the thought for a few minutes before looking up at home. “Hmm, let’s go with option two because I want to get this kitchen cleaned.”
He groaned and mumbled under his breath. “Idiot, you shouldn’t even have given her an option.” His hands slid away from my waist as he snatched up a garbage bag and started tossing everything into it. I went back to washing the rest of the dishes. We worked in nice peaceful silence for awhile.
“So baby cakes, what have you been up to?” He said breaking the silence with his voice. His voice was like chocolate, rich and smooth and dark. Always with a hint of danger that out lined every word. It made you want to confess every single sin you had ever committed. It made me want to confess every detail of my life before I had met him. I sighed and forced myself to resist.
“Nothing really, I just decided to come home for awhile and see how things were going.” I said with no real emotion in my voice.
I heard him pause before continuing on. “Baby Cakes, we both know that’s a lie. So why don’t you tell me the truth.”
How the hell did he know? I searched through my mind, searching for something that would get him off my back. “Dale….” I began as my mind whirled.
“Baby….”
I had it! A spark flew in my brain and I set my plan to work. I slammed the dish I was doing in the sink. “Dale! How could you think that I would lie to you like that!” I said screaming, my eyes filling with tears as I sank to the floor. In my mind I was praying that he would just drop it. I started sobbing, and crying, making sure it was believable.
He bought it, because he dropped the bag he was holding to the floor and ran towards me, as he crouched down to my level and pulled me into his arms. He rocked back and forth and whispered in my ear just like he did every time I had a nightmare and he was around. “Hey, hush now little one. Things are going to be ok. I promise that I believe you. I trust you with my life. Please, just stop crying. I’ll do anything please baby, just stop with the tears, you’re killing me here.” He said as he rubbed my back.
I slowly stopped crying and sniffled a little bit before giving him some relief. “Are you serious?” I said unknowingly, acting like I was really nervous and weak.
He smiled. “Of course I do baby, I trust you about everything. I’m sorry I doubted you even for a second.” He said helping me into a standing position and pulling me back into his arms. I heard the front door slam open and I froze.
He glanced down at me and smiled. “looks like it would have been a good idea to go out and have some fun.”
I slapped his chest. “You have to leave, sneak out the back door.” I pleaded with him. “Please Dale, Please please please.” I whispered as I heard voices coming down the hall.
“Courtney angel where are you?” Will was calling out for me, I glanced up at Dales face and his gaze went murderous and his hands clenched into fists.
“Dale, please oh please just leave while you can.” I whispered to him.
He shook his head and I heard the falling of footsteps coming through the living room, nearing closer and closer to the kitchen. It was way too late. We were caught; this wasn’t going to end well.
“Cupcake are you in…” Will had pushed open the door and stared at Dale and I. I wrapped my arms tighter around Dale as he went rigid, his hands turning white and his face turning a fiery colored red.
“JORDAN GET YOU’RE A@@ IN HERE.” Will yelled out. He glared at me. “Want to tell me what’s going on here and who the flying f**k is this?”
I gulped as my brother entered the room. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Courtney?” My brother said unsure.
Tears were in my eyes as I buried my face into Dale’s chest. I shook my head not speaking, Dale must have understood because he started to speak but unclenched his fists and held me against his chest as I forced myself to get everything under control. “My name’s Dale, I’m a friend of Courtney’s and I just came to see how she was doing.” He said his voice calm and collected.
Honestly, Dale was the only person who knew my real name. To everyone else I was just Tana Wilson. The girl that everyone respected and tried to avoid, I smiled at the memory.
“Funny, she never mentioned you.” Will said, his voice filled with venom.
“I know she didn’t, but I could say the same thing. She never mentioned she had a brother.” He said knowing full well that Will wasn’t my brother; I think he was just goading Will for a reaction. Which he got, Will was becoming very angry and I knew I had to step in before things got worse.
I pulled away from Dale and stood between the two of them. Jordan was standing in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest. Staring at me, and gauging everyone else’s reaction.
I finally cleared my voice. “Guys, enough please. Ya’ll are acting like three year olds.”
“Who is he Courtney, don’t lie to me.” Will said.
I whipped my head around and glared, “I’m not lying! Also you know what mister all high and mighty? You should be thanking Dale. He looked after me, when no one else would. He made sure, I was safe, always had somewhere to stay and eat for three years. That’s a hell of a lot more than what you did.”
He looked taken back but he finally spoke. “I love you. That’s what I did.”
I scoffed. “Bullshit, if you loved me the you wouldn’t have lied to me the entire time! I’m outta here.” I said grabbing Dale’s hand and dragging him out. Looking at him I said. “Where did you want to go have fun?”
“Let’s go to amusement park.”
I smiled. “Sounds good.”

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