December 25, 2000. This is the day that every girl dreams of, their chance to to look outstanding and the most beautifulest women in the room head to toe. As I walk down the aisle holding my father's arm tight like i'm never going to see him again, he tells me to take a deep breath, and close my eyes, and count to three. So when I open my eyes the first thing I saw was you. Seeing you told me that everything is going to be all right and that I wouldn't be a lone, so as I took a step close to you and looked into your eyes it was already time to say our vows for each other. So as I looked at him, I took a deep breath and said what was in my heart for him. “You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one's true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I’m the one who gets to marry you.” The tear and smile on his face told me how strong our love is for each other, just seeing that made me feel happy inside. He places the ring on my finger with a smile on his face and started to say I vow…. Bang….. After that all I remember hearing were people screaming with agony in their voice saying “ He’s shot he’s shot call 911!”. Looking over my body all I could see was a very light color red, like the fresh roses during a warm summer morning. And laying down on me at the bottom of my feet was my Jack with his blood all over my body, my soon to be husband, all I could see was the struggle in his eyes. At this point nothing mattered to me most but getting him to the hospital. My mother and father came running to me in a hurry. I said “I’m ok don't worry about me go help Jack.” So my mother stays with me and gets me out of the chapel, while my father and others stay back to get jack and injured people out. 

As my mom gets me outside to safety all I could see were people running with fear and blood dripping from their hands and clothes, me confused in so many ways wondering who and why would they do this to me, my family, and Jack. As my dad carries Jack out of the chapel all I could see was blood. The Ambulance and police finally arrived to the scene helping people in need. As the paramedics approached my dad and jack they laid him on the gurnee and put him in the back of the ambulance truck,  I jumped in and they closed the door. As the truck started to move away from the church all I could see was my wedding ring in a puddle of blood lying peacefully near the rose bush. What a wonderful Christmas is.

July 3, 1999. “Lydia” as Jack shouts out my name, “yes dear?” as I said. He told me that we should go for a walk in the park and sit down and watch the ducks as they splash their soft wings in the water. Knowing Jack he wasn't the an outdoors kinda guy so it got me wondering what he was up to, but for being with him for 6 years now, it had to be a good surprise or as I hoped so. As we sat down and watch the ducks flap their wings, Jack grabs my hand, get’s up and stands on one knee and says .“Lydia...umm...ahh..(shoot what was I going to say)...oh yeah..6 years is not enough to give you my love, there's voice in my pillow that got it out for me, and it just keeps mumbling to me and I can't sleep. You wanna know what it’s saying? That the next time that I wake up beside you I should be able to call you my wife. So Lydia will you do me the favor and let me call you my wife?” as Jack said. The feeling he gave was unexplainable, it’s like his words were not only able to touched me, but touched my heart. And that there is real unconditional love. As he touched my hand I could tell he was a little nervous because of the sweat on his hand, but I simply placed a kiss on his cheek to calm his nerves and to show how much I loved him. As he gaved me a hug  I looked down at my hand and saw that he had got me a five carat diamond ring. A lot of questions went in and out my head wondering how could we afford this with the earnings we have now. I was going to ask but I didn't want to ruin the moment we had, so I just told myself to set it aside for now. 

December 25, 2000. As we pulled up to the hospital me and the paramedics jumped out of the truck and rushed Jack inside the hospital. Getting near the ER doors the doctor stopped me and said “This is as far as you can go!”. “But he is my husband and he needs me by his side!” I angrily shouted. “Ma’am you’ll be the first person I come to when I have an update on your husband, but for now have a seat please and let me see what I can do for your your husband.” She said. So I sat down slowly with my hands over my head, and started to cry when suddenly I felt soft, warm arms wrapped around me, and it was my sweet mother telling me that everything is going to be all right. While she rocked me back in forth as time passed by, like I was her little precious baby again that she would never see again, the doctor approached us, the look on her face told me that more than six years with Jack will be the only six years I had with him. “I’m so sorry my dear we really thought we could save him, he have a severe blood clot it was just too late i'm so sorry.” She said. As I fell to the ground I thought living wasn’t even a choice anymore, all I could think is why god? Why? Why why would you take the only person who knew me for me?. I walked down the hallway and saw the room number 213, standing there and seeing you made me want to fall to the ground and start crying again. I walked closer to you and rubbed my hands on your cheek. It was so warm and soft as I remembered, there was just enough room to lay beside you so I took advantage of it. I remember when you proposed to me you said “There's voice in my pillow telling me that next time you wake up beside me that I should be able to call you my wife.” So what are you waiting for? Wake up! Wake up and call me your wife so our love can be more than just six years. Ring...Ring..As I’m laying beside you your phone starts to ring and the caller ID says Ron.

June 22, 1999. Hey Ron. it’s Jack! Umm i’m going to propose to Lydia this week but I don't have enough money to get a nice ring she deserves, we've been together for 6 years now and I just wanna show how much I love her. So do you think you can help me out? Ill pay you back as soon as possible I promise. Just if you do that thing you do keep me out of it I don't want that kinda of stuff around me and Lydia. Sure! Jack I got you! Said Ron. Now this is serious stuff you messing around with but i'll help you out though. Ron said. Thanks Ron! I said.  

June 3, 1999. Ring….Ring..Hello? Jack it's Ron. Did you get the money? I said. Of course! now these drugs lords don’t play around so you need to hurry up and get that money to me, because both of our lives is on the line if you don't. Ron said. I promise I'll get that money to you, don't worry. Oh yeah and don’t forget to be at the wedding! I said. “I won’t man, I won't.” He said.

December 25, 2000. As the doctor came in the room she asked me if Jack wanted to give his organs to the “Save A Life” program that helps people in need of new organs. She handed the consent form to me and I check everything off the paper until I saw the word heart. The struggle in my hands to check the box was so hard, but I took a minute and thought that there's somebody out there that needs Jack's heart the only thing that came to mind that anyone who receives his heart must be one lucky person. So being the kind-hearted person I am I checked it off the list and gave it to the nurse. Giving Jack one last look and kiss before the hospital takes him. I say to “I'll see you soon my love”. Walking out of the room feeling like I’m leaving my heart behind really put a stain on my emotions.  The nurse saw me walking away way in tears so she stops me and says “I saw that he had a note in his pants pocket and thought that you should have it, everything is going to be all right keep your head up dear. He will be with you every step of the way you just gotta believe in it, It will take time.” She said. By giving her a silent but big hug it told her how much I thanked her for what she did for Jack and me.
 

December 25, 2001. A very wise man said “ Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”  -Oscar Wilde. So Jack keep my love in your heart so the garden of flowers we always keep blooming. I know you didn't have a chance to say your vows to me, but that's what i'm here for. So here it goes. I Vow..