I gripped the wheel tighter and rounded the corner. Music blared from the radio and I couldn’t help but sing along. It was August, which meant in a month exactly my life would finally be on its way. I would be leaving sunny Beverly Hills and headed straight to New York to attend Julliard School of Arts. It seemed everything was finally falling into place. Dream University, in my dream city filled with a new dream life I had been planning since I was six. Throwing my shades over my eyes, I turned down the radio and grinned at the beaming sun. It was slowly setting across the coast, creating vibrant colors against the water. I frowned when I glanced at the gas. ‘Just a couple more miles.’ I thought, ‘Please last.’ I prayed over and over again that my car would make it but to my luck the engine slowly died and I felt the car slow down. Pulling over I took the keys out of the ignition and rested my head against the steering wheel. Taking out my phone, I dialed the number of AAA.
“Hi, yes I’m out of gas.” I mumbled into the phone. “Nicolette Woods. 2011 Mustang, um blue.”
I sighed as the lady put me on wait, my fingers strumming against the door. The faint sound of another car was in the distance, hopefully it was someone I knew and they could help. Turning my head back, I noticed a white jeep driving in my direction. Biting my lip, I debated in whether to hang up or stay on hold. Sighing, I hung up the phone and opened the car door to wave my arms. The jeep stopped and I gritted my teeth when I saw who came out.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I moaned and slumped back against my car.
“Get out of my way Woods.” Said a harsh voice.
“Now now Julien. Where are your manners?” I mocked back; he grinned and stepped closer to me.
“Stuck?” He asked quietly. “I’ll give you a lift if you want.”
I groaned and shook my head, “As if I would ever get help from you. You have such a low status; I wouldn’t dare to get caught with-“
“God, are you always going to be this shallow? I really thought you’d grow up since high schools over.” He grinned and walked towards me. I held in a breath and stared at him for a moment. His crystal blue eyes glistened against the sunset and his black hair looked softer than normal. “Do you enjoy staring at people?” He asked.
I shook my head awkwardly, “No sorry. If you’ll excuse me, I must get going.” “With no car?” “Yeah it’s called walking.” I snapped back. He smirked in amusement and stepped backwards, his arms out stretched. “Go for it.”
I nodded and grabbed my purse from the car. Turning around I rolled my eyes as I noticed Julien was looking at me with curiosity. “Take a picture loser.” I growled back before walking off.
I heard him snort and then the sound of his engine rumbled. He drove slowly towards me and smiled, “Are you sure you don’t want a ride?”
I nodded and stayed silent.
“You’ll ruin your shoes if you walk from here.” I turned to look at him and bit my lip, my eyes focusing on my shoes to the passenger seat.
“Fine.” I mumbled and opened the car door. “So how did you afford this? I mean, you don’t come from a rich family.”
“Just because I’m not rich doesn’t mean I can’t afford things. I do have jobs.” He fought back. I smiled and looked at him hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“You have staring problems don’t you?” His voice broke the silence, yet it sounded so quiet. I let out a laugh, “Maybe. Look, don’t tell anyone about this okay? My friends would hate me if I hung out with-“
“Listen Woods, you care about what other people think way to much. Just chill.”
“No I don’t.”
“Then why the hell can’t I tell people I gave you a drive?” He retorted.
“Because look at me, I’m Nicolette. And you, well you’re Julien Stark.” I twirled a small piece of brown hair around my finger and smiled directly at him.
“Once a selfish b**** always a selfish b****.” Julien muttered under his breath.
I rolled my eyes, “I heard that.”
“You we’re meant too.”
“I hate you.” I spat out.
He grinned and flicked my cheek, “Glad the feeling is mutual Woods.”
“My name is Nicole, or Nicolette to you.”
“But I like Woods.”
I let out a small laugh, “God you’re so annoying.”
“Now you know what you sound like.”
I frowned and kept my eyes on the road. The sun was sinking into the water now, and the darkness was beginning to surround us.
“You shouldn’t have left your car…”
“I didn’t,” I pulled out my phone and wave it in front of him, “My dad’s going to pick it up.”
“Ah,” He replied rather amused, “Daddy does everything for his little girl doesn’t he?”
I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue, “Shut up.”
Julien laughed and slowed down as he neared the exit.
“Turn here, I’m meeting some people at the pier.”
He nodded like he understood but turned the car the opposite way, “Later, right now I have some things to do.”
I groaned, “Take me to the pier Julien. I’m a higher class than you, so you do as I say.”
“Not today princess, tonight you’re following my rules…” I bit my lip and stayed silent for the rest of the way. Resting my head against the seat I closed my eyes for a moment but sleep took over and suddenly I was surrounded by darkness.

“Wake up.”
I moaned and rolled over against the seat ignoring whoever was talking.
“Listen Barbie, you got to wake up now.”
I sighed, “Why? Go do your s*** and I’ll stay here-“ My sentence was cut short as my arm grew hotter. Opening up my eyes I shrieked in pain, “What the f*** is your problem?” I glared at Julien and watched him put the lighter away.
He shrugged and hopped out of the Jeep, I bit my lip unsure whether to follow him or not.
“You coming?” He asked.
I nodded, “Yeah sure.” Opening the door to the Jeep, I stepped out and walked to the front of the car. I scrunched up my nose at the smell and frowned, “Where are we?”
“Docks.” He mumbled and grabbed my hand. “Stay close and don’t do anything stupid.”
“Okay.” He turned around, his hand still holding onto mine and begun walking down the dock. I followed him, my heels clicking against the wood. “So what are you doing exactly?”
He chuckled, “You wanted to know how I make money so I thought I’d show you.” 
I bit my lip and gripped Julien’s hand tighter. Something about this place was off. “Maybe I should just wait in your car…”
I heard him snort and watched him turn around, “Don’t tell me you’re scared doll face.” He mocked rather harshly.
I frowned, “I’m not scared you ass…” I growled, he smirked in response and let go of my hand.
“Then you can follow me without grabbing my hand.” Julien turned around and continued walking down the dock.
I looked around, wondering if it was too late to turn back around. It was dark, and the faint lights from the lampposts weren’t bright enough to clearly see the area. Sighing in defeat, I walked forward praying I’d run into Julien. Quickening my pace, I hurried down the dock and rounded a corner into an alley.  I had lost Julien, the only one who knew his way around here. Groaning to myself, I rested my head against the cold brick wall and closed my eyes.
“What’s a fine girl like you doing here?” I froze and exhaled slowly at the rough voice.
Opening one eye, I glanced down the alley and saw a built man twirling something shiny in his hand. “None of your business.” I bit back coldly.
Turning on my heel, I begun to walk the opposite way with high hopes that he wouldn’t follow. Faint footsteps were heard behind me, I bit my lip debating if running was the smarter decision. I was never a track star, and by the looks of this man I was surely to be overpowered.
“Don’t leave me baby.” He moaned, his steps becoming louder.
I continued to walk down the alley, searching for a place to hide. Seeing another corner, I grinned and sprinted my way around only to become face to face with a wall. Kicking the wall angrily, I spun around and saw the man following me with a stupid smirk spread across his face. He finally reached me but I stayed still and looked directly into his eyes. He smiled and grabbed me by my hair. I yelped out in pain, tears forming at the bridges of my eyes.
“Boss will love you.” He purred into my ear.
I shivered and followed his quick footsteps back down the alley. He turned back onto the docks and pushed me forward, the shiny object pressed to my neck. Realizing what it was I frowned. “Really?” I choked out, “You have a knife?”
I felt him shrug and mumbled something under his breath. Apart of me was scared, the other a little excited that something like this was happening.
“Where’s the stuff Julien?” I heard a voice echo from the darkness.
“Relax man, I have it.”
I wave of relief washed over me once I heard Julien’s voice. The light grew brighter and I could see Julien taking small bags out of his pocket. A tall skinny man standing in front of him, a stupid smile placed on his lips too.  Frowning I watched Julien hand the bags over only to be rewarded with a handful of cash. The man behind me shoved me hard causing me to lose my balance. I was greeted face first with cold wet pavement, a shriek of terror passing from my lips. I felt eyes watching me as I sat up. Julien groaned his footsteps walking closer to me.
“I leave you for a minute…” He mumbled, his arms roughly pulling me up.
I brushed off my chest and pushed him aside, “You’re a drug dealer?” I asked, hoping my voice sounded calm.
He stuffed his hands into his pocket and nodded, “Yeah, relax princess.”
The built guy snorted behind me, “She’s with you?” He asked Julien.
He rubbed his temple and his playful smile disappeared. “Yes you idiot.” Julien muttered through his teeth.
I turned around to face the man, who tucked his knife back into his coat pocket. “Sorry…”
I bit my lip but refused to say anything else to either of them. Julien pulled the man aside and whispered a couple things to him, the man whispered back and Julien frowned. Walking back to me, Julien grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the docks to find his car.

“You’re a drug dealer.” I mumbled into my hand.
The drive was silent until I broke it. I wanted to know more about Julien, he was too interesting.
“Yes Nicolette. Why can’t you just understand?”
I shook my head, “Because you’re you.”
“Oh great reason.”
Rolling my eyes I focused on the road ahead, “Why do you do it?”
He sighed and glanced over at me. I could feel his eyes watching me for a moment before breaking away, “Not everyone is wealthy. And when you come from a family like mine, you’d do anything to get away.”
“So you deal drugs?”
“Yeah…”
I bit my lip, “So what do you deal?”
He laughed, “Why are you so interested?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I want to know. So what do you deal?”
“Marijuana, cocaine, I have LSD sometimes…” His sentence trailed off and I studied his face.
“Do you ever do them?”
He nodded, “I’ve never met a dealer that wouldn’t do his own drugs.”
I giggled and punched his arm playfully, ‘”Fine you have a point.”
The drive stayed silent after that, I could take quick stares at his face. It seemed so calm, so relaxed but underneath he was someone dangerous.
“You’re actually not that bad Julien.”
“Uh, thank you?”
I shrugged, “No seriously, I thought you were some bad, rude obnoxious person but-“
“I believe your stating your personality.” He lightly joked.
I looked at him and frowned, “Fine I deserved that. But honestly, you’re cool.”
“Wow, thanks Woods. My life is now complete because of that compliment.”
I snorted in amusement, “Want to get something to eat?”
“What about the pier? I thought you had people to meet.”
I shook my head and placed my hand gently on his, “I did, but I’d rather get food with a cool guy.”
I watched him glance down at my hand before pushing it off. “Maybe some other time.” He muttered then blasted the radio.
I gritted my teeth and turned the radio off earning a glare from Julien.
“Okay,” I said, “What the hell happened? We were actually having a good time and then-”
“We never have a good time.”
I frowned, “We did, and then I asked you if you wanted to get food.”
“Yeah and why’d you do that?”
I looked at my hands, cheeks slightly flushed. “Because I wanted to hangout with you.” I blurted out.
For a moment, the ride was silent. Julien had parked the car along the side of the road, and the keys were taken out. He got out of the car and walked over to my side.
Gripping the handle, he yanked it open, “You want to hangout with me? Why the hell would you ever do that? I’m not your charity case Woods.”
“No I know that. It’s just why can’t we hangout?”
He let out a frustrated laugh and shook his head, “Look at you. You’re Malibu Barbie. You’ve had everything you’ve ever wanted handed to you. You’re spoiled, conceited and all throughout my life you have treated me like I’m nothing. Just because I don’t have fancy cars, or the newest clothes and maybe I get my money from selling f*ing drugs but that doesn’t mean I’m any less of a person than you are. In fact, you’re the lesser person.”
I bit my lip awkwardly and hopped out of the car, “Alright you’re right. I’ve always treated you like trash.”
He nodded a little calmer, “And now suddenly you want to hangout with me, it doesn’t make any sense.”
“I know it doesn’t, but lets not make a big deal okay? It’s not like it’s a date or anything…”
He looked at me, the anger slowly building back up, “You want drugs. You’re just going to use me aren’t you?”
“No I don’t do that. I have a future waiting for me, I’d never…”
Julien smirked and backed up into me, I felt the car against my back but refused to move. The heat radiating off him was dangerous, and the faint smell of his cologne captivated my nose, making my head spin.
He placed a hand on my waist, and yanked me closer, “A future sounds nice…”
He toyed and rubbed his lips against my neck. I exhaled sharply, my heart beating faster.
“Next year I’ll be in New York, so if we hangout, we can make amends before I leave.”
“When do you leave?” He mumbled onto my skin.
“In a couple weeks…”
Lifting up his head, he looked deeply into my eyes, his brain processing everything. “If you want to make amends, we do it my way.”
“And that is?” I questioned with a smirk.
With his free hand, he guided himself to my inner thigh. Trailing his fingers against it made me shiver.
“You,” He said calmly, his voice turning serious, “You are going to be mine until you leave. You’ll help me with things-”
“Like drugs?” I blurted out a little uneasy.
He nodded and continued to trace his fingers in little circles, “Yes drugs, and when I need a little entertainment…” He trailed off and left a trail of kisses down my neck.
I frowned; this wasn’t like me at all. Yet the sudden feeling of knowing it wasn’t made me ecstatic. He was dangerous and controlling but in a way he was like me.
I tilted my head back and moaned slightly, “I’m, - I’m not like that.” I forced out.
“But you could be. Aren’t you tired of being a good girl?” He nipped my neck and I sighed heavily.
He was right, even though I enjoyed having the finer things in life; I really wanted to live like him. To live in a world filled with a vibrant adventure.
Nodding slowly, I gripped his jacket, “I’ll do it.”
I felt him smirk on my skin, head lifting up and placing a small kiss on my lips.
“My my my, you are beautiful.” He groaned into my mouth. 
His fingers still moving in a slow rhythm against my thigh, I smiled.
“We shouldn’t do this here…”
He nodded in an agreement and pushed himself off me. “My God Woods, you are definitely something.”
“Aha, thanks?”
“You’re welcome.” He said proudly, “Now do you know what you just got yourself into?”
I looked down, “Not really…”
“Well, you just made yourself a deal with the Devil.”
“And?”
He looked into my eyes and grinned wickedly, “If there’s one thing you should know about the Devil, it’s that he always comes to collect.”

The ride was silent but I could still feel his eyes staring at me. Gripping the seat tightly, I frowned. I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t me, yet the voice in my head was telling me that an adventure was worth it.
“We can’t tell anyone.” I mumbled into my hands. “They would-”
  “Who’s they?”
“My family you retard and my friends. They’d be so disappointed if they found out I agreed to this.”
He smiled slightly in the darkness and gripped my thigh, “See that’s your problem doll face, you worry too much about others. Once you stop caring about their own thoughts, your mind will be at peace.”
I nodded in agreement and brushed his hand off, “But this isn’t who I am. I don’t do drugs, and I definitely never-”
“You’re a virgin aren’t you?”
I blushed deeply, “Wha-”
“You are. Holy s***, for someone who brags about boys all the time you’d think…”
“Okay shut up.” I growled lowly.
He laughed and brushed strands of hair away from his eyes, “Sorry beautiful…”
“Stop it.”
“What did I do now?”
I sighed, “Calling me those names. You don’t mean them so stop.”
Julien turned on his blinker and pulled into a small parking lot.
“We’re here.” He stated totally ignoring my previous statement. 
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and gripped onto my purse.
He looked over at me and smiled kindly, “You sure you want to do this?” He asked is a soft voice.
I nodded, “Yeah sure, it might be awkward at first though…”
He shook his head and laughed, “It wouldn’t be that awkward, besides we’re not doing anything.”
The wave of panic flushed out after he mentioned nothing happening.
“Wait we aren’t?”
He turned to face me and cupped my cheeks in his hands, “No Woods. We are going to do anything. Just relax; you said you wanted food so we’re getting food.”
I shook out of his grasp and bit my lip, “Oh, where are we exactly?”
Julien opened the car door and shut it quietly; he walked around to the front and stuck up his finger telling me to wait one second. Julien knelt down to tie his shoe, but looked back up at me and smiled. I forced a smile and looked out the window. I couldn’t believe this was happening. More importantly I couldn’t believe that it was with Julien. Out of all the people I had met in my 18 years or life, I never expected myself to make such a deal with Julien himself. All throughout high school, he was teased. Teased for not having the right clothes, for not getting invited to the hottest parties, he was teased for everything. Everyone told me that he was creepy and crazy but after spending a good three hours with him, I learned that he was actually cool. Julien was actually nice, a little crazy yes but not a complete psycho. He was kind hearted when it came to picking up people after their car broke down. There was a small knock on the window which pushed me out of my thoughts. I opened the door and hopped out, Julien shutting the door behind me.
“This is my place.” He said quietly.
I looked around in shock; it was a small little house, nothing too flashy.
“Are your parents’ home?”
I heard him laugh and watched him pull out a small chain of keys.
“My parents don’t live with me. They left when I was 16.”
“So you’ve been living alone since you were a sophomore?”
He nodded and opened the door. I followed him into a barely lit darkness, “Nice place.” I mumbled.
He snorted and flipped on a switch, “It would look better with the lights on.”
I giggled and bit my lip. His place was pretty decent; there was a living room with a small flat screen perched up against the wall. A kitchen was hidden in the back, and from the corner of my eye I spotted a little bathroom.
“My rooms in the back,” He pointed towards the back hallway and ushered me through. I looked at the walls; they were bare except for a few family photos.
“You still keep these up?” I asked.
“Yeah, just because they left me doesn’t make them any less of a family.”
I nodded and continued down the hallway.
“The bathrooms over there.” He pointed over to a doorway and smirked, “If you need to freshen up.” He joked mockingly.
“Relax; I’m not that makeup obsessed.”
He laughed and walked through his bedroom door. I followed behind him in shock once I saw what was inside. “Wow.” Was all that could escape my lips.
The room has colors shining from about a dozen different lava lamps placed on a counter. His bed was pressed up against the wall, it looked to be the size of a king and from the corner of my eye I could see a small laptop sitting on top of a light brown desk.
“Pretty isn’t it?” He asked and poked my side.
I laughed, “Very. I never thought you’d be a lava lamp guy.”
“And I’m surprised you even know what they are.”
“Hey!” I playfully punched him in the arm and laid on his bed, “I’m not that sheltered.”
He lies down beside me and put his hands against his chest. “I never said you were sheltered. I just thought that your parents wouldn’t buy stupid things like those.”
I kept silent and focused on watching his breathing. It was steady and relaxed, a part of me wondered if he was on some high.
“Want to see something cool?” He asked.
I giggled. You could hear the excitement in his voice.
I looked at him and smiled, “Sure.”
He sat up and flicked a switch near the bed. The lava lamps shut off and lights sparkled against the ceiling creating a glow of stars.
“My father built this when I was a kid. I had night terrors, so he created the stars so I would sleep peacefully.”
I smiled, “Do you miss him?” I felt myself ask.
He rested his head underneath his arms and looked up at the ceiling, “Of course I do, and I’ve missed him for years. He passed away when I was 13.”
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, “He’s gone? Then who ran-”
“My mom and my stepdad. He was an ass. Treated me like I meant nothing, turned my mom into a drunk and blamed me for everything I ever did. Grew up hating the world, thinking that if I ever got to close to someone, they’d leave.”
I turned on my side and stared at Julien. He really had no one, and the constant bullying throughout high school didn’t help his situation. Lifting my hand, I placed on his chest and traced small circles.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t need your sympathy.” He bit back harshly.
I bit the inside of my cheek debating on what to do next. Removing my hand, I got up slowly and straightened out my clothes.
“Want something to eat?” I asked.
He sat up and smirked, “It’s my house, should I be asking you that?”
I shrugged and headed out the door towards the kitchen. It was simple and small, plain white fridge with an old antique stove and some wooden cabinets. I sat on the arm of the couch and stared off into the kitchen. Julien pulled out some bread and some slices of cheese.
“Want grilled cheese?”
I nodded, “I love grilled cheese!”
Placing the food on the counter, he grabbed a pan from the sink.
“Good, because I am the best grilled cheese maker you’ve ever met.”
“Clearly you haven’t eaten mine.” I said with a slight smile.
Julien laughed and brushed a hand through his hair, “Competition then. Best grilled cheese gets ice cream!”
I shook my head and hopped of the couch, “You’re going down.” I said with an excited tone while grabbing slices of bread.
***
“Not bad Woods. Not bad.” Julien mumbled into my grilled cheese.
I smirked, “It’s Nicole. But does that mean I won?”
Julien smirked and shook his head, “Hell no beautiful, I win.”
I rolled my eyes and got up, grabbing a slice of bread in the process. Walking towards the counter, I sat on it and chucked the bread slice at the back of his head.
Julien let out a snort and turned around, “Seriously?” He questioned in a playful tone.
I bit my lip and nodded slowly. “Just because I beat you in making the better grilled cheese gives you no right to attack me with bread.”
I shrugged and laughed, “You didn’t win, and I did.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” Julien tilted his head and glared at me.
I avoided his eyes and kept my eyes to the ground. His feet shuffled but I continued to stare at the ground. I noticed him stepping closer to me, shutting my eyes I waited patiently to see what would happen. His fingers lightly brushed against my leg, shoving it away as he stepped between my thighs. Gripping my chin lightly with his hand, he tilted my chin upwards and smiled.
“God you’re so beautiful.
My cheeks flushed a pale pink, “T-thanks.” I forced out.
Pushing a strand of hair away from my eyes, he brushed his lips against mine. It was soft, like he was just as afraid as I was. Shutting my eyes slowly, I felt his hands move to my back. Holding me gently, but also using pressure to push me into him. I placed my hands against his chest, and felt him stiffen up. Removing himself from my lips, he frowned.
“If you want me to stop, I will.”
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and let out a shaky sigh. “No, please- I uh, don’t stop.” I forced out and looked deeply into his eyes.
His dark cold eyes warmed and changed into a lighter blue. He smiled and pecked a kiss upon my cheek. His mouth moving slowly, rubbing against my jaw and finally meeting my mouth. Smiling, I kissed him back softly, my hands getting lost in his black messy locks. He pushed me closer to him and I let out a giggle. He smirked and trailed soft kisses again my jaw again, his mouth leaving soft kisses down my neck until it reached my soft spot near the shoulder. He kissed harder against my skin and I felt a wave of shivers roll down my spine. My breathing grew faster, and my cheeks burned hotter each moment. My brain could barely process what was happening, it felt like a few hours ago I had run out of gas, and now I was sitting on Julien Starks counter. His mouth kissing my neck in a rhythmic movement. I stared up at the ceiling; my mind was slowly turning into mush. Was this what it felt like? Is this what the movies talk about? It felt like it, but I knew it wasn’t. The movies always talked about love, and in this moment there was no love just a simple heated session. Julien’s kiss trail headed straight toward the beginning of my tan top.
I let out a shallow breath and he smirked, “I’ll stop if you’re not comfortable.”
“I’m sorry.” I replied quietly. My hands released his hair and he pushed himself off me.
“Don’t be, I shouldn’t have pushed myself onto you. Especially, -“
“No, don’t. Julien, I wanted you to continue, I really did.”
Julien smirked and sat back in the chair, “Then why can’t I continue?”
I bit my lip and looked at the ground, “Because, I have a future and I cant ruin that.”
“There’s something else isn’t there?”
“Yes.” I looked up slowly and was greeted with a warm smile.
“Just say it Nicolette.”
“I don’t love you, I mean I don’t have any feelings for you.”
I heard him sigh, “Listen, you can still have fun with someone without having feelings. It’s called,”
“No.” I bit out. Clearing my throat, I met his soft gaze, “I’m not like that and I will never become it. I’m not your booty call, nor do I want to be. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a human being with actual feelings so if you can please understand…”
“Figures.” He mumbled into his hands. “I guess I’ll drive you home then, come on.” He got up from the seat and pushed past me, I frowned and gripped the back of his arm in protest.
“Julien listen to me, I have emotions. And I have a lot of them. You can’t abuse my emotions just because you can’t feel your own.”
Julien shook his head in a quiet laugh; he turned around slowly to face me. His eyes turned soft and I could almost see something in them.
“Do you know what its like?” He asked in a whisper.
I shook my head, my fingers releasing Julien’s arm.
“I live in a world where I’m not considered perfect. You want to know why I do the things I do? Why I sell drugs and even use them? I do it for the simplest reason in the world. I’m awkward, a social reject Nicolette. I do them to escape from reality, to get away from what the worlds becoming. I find peace, and it makes me truly think about myself. I can’t understand people the way you do, I don’t have millions of dollars supporting me if I fall. All I have is a fridge full of Jack and maybe one or two people that actually help me out. You want to know the reason why I’m not the type for relationships, it’s because people judge me before they even know me. That’s why I prefer to be alone. So sue me if I abuse your feelings just to get closer to my own.”
I refused to make eye contact with Julien; everything that he said was true. And the teasing all throughout high school clearly made things worse.
“I’m sorry.” Was all that I could force out.
He smiled softly, “No you’re not. You’re just saying that to feel less guilty. Try living my life for a week, then you’d truly be sorry.”
I took a deep breath and shook my head, “That’s not true, I am sorry, for everything. And I know that it probably means nothing now, but just know that I am truly sorry.”
He bit his lip, the keys dangling in his hands. “You’re right, it doesn’t mean anything now. But I still appreciate it nonetheless. Thank you.”
Grabbing my arms awkwardly, I smiled, “You’re welcome.”
Julien nodded and pushed past me. He picked his jacket up off the couch and gripped the door handle, “Lets get you home then.”
“No,” I mumbled and turned around to face him. My cheeks burned and I felt my throat run dry, “I’m going to stay. I, well- I uh, want to stay.” I watched him lick his lips hungrily, his eyes shifting from my body to the ground.
“You make me crazy.” He groaned into his hand. “Just your presence, it drives every part of me wild. How persistent and bossy you can be, yet at the same time you’re a precious flower. One so fragile that at the slightest breeze of wind could break you.”
I heard him take a shallow breath.
“And if you stay here tonight, I’m afraid that I’ll be the one to break you. I’ll be the one destroying every thing you’ve ever known. I will make you fall in love with me even if you’d rather die than be in my arms. I will take you out everywhere, and kiss you in every beautiful place so that you can never go back to them without tasting me in your mouth. And then when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people.”
I stood there speechless, my eyes refusing to meet his lustful ones. I heard his feet move against the ground but still refused to look up. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the back of the house. He led me back to his room, the lights were still low and the small glistening lights flickered above. He shut the door behind us and growled lowly. I shut my eyes and waited for something to happen. But it never did. Minutes past and I stood in the middle of Julien’s room waiting for an action that would never come. I opened one eye and found Julien sitting on his bed staring directly at me.
He smiled, “I’d never touch a girl without permission.”
“I told you already,” I began.
He brushed a hand through his hair, the stupid smile never fading.
“I know. But you’re an open book Nicolette, and between this façade I’m seeing, you want this just as much as I do.”
I nodded and gripped a piece of brown hair around my shaky finger, “I do want this.” I finally admitted. “I’ve wanted this for a while… It just seems so wrong.”
He got up and grabbed my free hand. He held it tightly, the warmth radiating off him made me feel safe.
“It feels very wrong, but I have to say it also feels very right. Like this was meant to happen. And out of all the girls I’ve been with, you’re the only one that makes me feel this happy.”
I let out a nervous laugh, his lips softly kissing my neck. “Don’t be scared beautiful, it’s just me.”
I nodded slowly, my hand letting go of his. I felt my feet moving backwards and for once in my life I wasn’t scared of falling, especially since I knew who was clutching onto my back. The wall brushed against me and his kisses grew more passionate. I let out a small moan and he smirked beneath.
“Not so scary is it?” He asked, his hot breath causing goose bumps against my skin.
“I just can’t believe that out of all people, it’d be you.”
He released his lips from my neck and rested his forehead against mine.
His mouth was pulled into a tight smirk,  “I’m just are surprised as you are.”
I giggled and bit my lip awkwardly. The tension when we didn’t speak was unbearable. He sighed and placed his lips against mine. At that exact moment I knew that no matter what the outcomes of this situation could be, I wouldn’t regret one bit. Julien was right; I had wanted this maybe even more than him. There was just something about him. Whenever he smiled, everyone saw the bad in him but in my eyes, all I could see was good.
Julien was deadly, but I decided to follow him.