“Ziva dearest can you please go to the market for your mama please, my back hurts quite badly. Just get the usual or as much as the money will buy.”

“Alright Mama don’t worry I will get everything you need, and maybe I can even bargain with old man Amin for some extra rice,” I said tripping over my words.

I love going to the market. Not only is it full of colors and the sounds of bargains being made, but Nahim is there. Nahim is the most wonderful boy I have ever met. He is twenty years old which is so much better Israel’s average couple of a sixteen and sixty. I have dreams about his dark curls sweeping against his brow and his tall muscular figure. Well I’m getting ahead of myself.

“Okay Mama I’m off to the market, I will be back in about an hour,” I sang through the door as a sailed into the street.

The anticipation was killing me; I couldn’t wait to see his face again. It has been at least a week since I saw Nahim and I am dying from deprivation. I skipped down the dusty street toward the market place filled with enthusiasm. As soon as I reached it I heard the noises of people trying to convince the stubborn old merchants to lower their prices and the sounds of children laughing. Just as I approached the bread stall I saw him, leaning against the wall smiling at me from the shadows.

“Shalom Ziva my little flower, it has been so long since I have seen you last,” Nahim purred.

And there he stood in all his glory. Him in love with me and I with him. His dark curls askew across his forehead, and his perfect eyebrows arching up to meet them. His dark brown eyes crackle with life. Nahim’s nose marches down his face with pride. His soft, coral lips rest just above his softly pointed chin. His broad shoulders are covered in ropy muscles that extend all over his body. I am the tallest of all of my sisters, but Nahim makes me look short.

“I know just how you feel Nahim; can you believe that it has only been a week since we have seen each other last?”

“No, oh Ziva I have missed you so much. Your eyes that sparkle a deep, dark brown. Your lips the rose on your face. Your hair, the chocolate waterfall cascading around your shoulders,” Nahim said looking deep into my eyes.

His words set my heart ablaze and put the others to shame. Of all the men that have been in and out of our house trying to court my twin sister Amia and I, and believe me there have been plenty, Nahim is the best that I have seen. Although there is something I must explain. Nahim is not like all of the others. My Mama and Baba have never met him. I think my parents might pass out if they saw me with someone as young and undistinguished as Nahim. It is true that we are no longer as reprised as we once were, but our reputation lives on. If Baba saw me or even Amia and Tamira with a young man like Nahim, he would be incredibly ashamed.

“Nahim you make me blush,” I said laughing.

“Well isn’t this why I see you each week, to remind you that you are the most beautiful girl in all of Israel,” he said.
“But Ziva I must tell you something very important,” Nahim said suddenly serious.
“Yes Nahim, what is it?”
“Ziva, I know that we have only been meeting each other for around two months, but I don’t want to sneak around any longer. I want to be out in the open and honest with your Baba,” Nahim said matter of factly.
“Oh but Nahim, Baba would never approve. He wants to marry me off to a rich, high society man. He thinks that the daughter of an advisor of Mossad should not be left on the streets,” I pleaded.
“My little flower if this is ever going to work between us we must tell your Baba. Please and if you don’t tell him about me I will have to.”
“Alright Nahim, I can never win against you my love. I have one condition for this deal though. You must do your British accent for me,” I said smiling.
“Cheerio me love, is this good enough for you,” Nahim sang in a perfect accent.
Nahim is wonderful with accents of any sort French, British, German you name it he can imitate it spot on.
“Yes Nahim that was wonderful,” I breathed.
What Nahim did next is practically unheard of in Israel. He reached down and gently brushed my cheek with those soft lips of his. Then he straightened and said, “Ziva I must be gone now, my brother Nate will be waiting for me. I love you wardaton jameela, beautiful flower.” After he left I stood there in the shadows looking like a fool with my mouth hanging open. My cheek was tingling in the place where he had kissed it and I felt like bursting into song. I started to wander home, but just in time I remembered that I had shopping to do.

“Mama, Baba I’m home from the market!” I shouted as I walked the door.
“Shush up little sister, you will wake Benny,” my sister Talia huffed as she came to greet me.
Talia is nineteen-years-old, three years older than me. Believe me Talia never misses a chance to throw her weight around. She is not nearly as beautiful as Amia and I, not to sound conceited, but it is true. Unlike our hair, hers is twig like and short. She eyes are dull as if she has given up on life, which I wouldn’t blame her if she did. In our family Talia should have been married by now; personally she would be lucky if she could find any man that would tolerate he, I am just saying. Amia and I are tall and slender, but Talia is rather short and chunky. Let’s just say Talia was not exactly blessed in her looks.
“Hey Ziva, ZI-VA, are you ignoring me? I was just telling you about this wonderful man that came over to see me, not you or Amia, but me. He was tall and rather portly, but a man’s weight shows his reputation you know. And he was so nice and I think that he is going to ask Baba for my hand, I‘m so excited Ziva!” Talia babbled.
“Oh I’m so excited for you, but can you stop talking to me right now I’m not in the mood,” I said in a monotone voice.
“Well excuse me little princess. Sorry to have disturbed you,” she scoffed.
“No, no I didn’t mean that Talia. I’m happy for you really I am, it just I have a lot on my mind right now,” I apologized.
“Talia, Ziva, Amia, Eli, Caleb, Benny time for Dinner!” Mama yelled from the other room.
“Coming Mama,” we chorused as we rushed into the kitchen.
“What’s for dinner Mama, I’m hungry,” whined Benny.
Benny is the youngest of the six children in our family. He is five-years-old, but he is tall for his age. He has soft, little brown curls that kiss his forehead. Benny’s eyebrows are nearly nonexistent, Talia is quite envious of this, but that’s beside the point. His dark brown eyes are always smiling and jumping with activity. Benny’s little nose is a perfect button on his face. I have never seen Benny’s mouth not curved up into a smile except when he is fighting with my older brothers. Perhaps the cutest part about my littlest brother is his two missing front teeth. He lost them approximately a month ago and he has had a temporary lisp ever since.
“Oh Benny, Benny, Benny my little one you know the answer to that. Habibi it’s the usual rice and pita bread. If you’re lucky we might even have a little lamb on the top,” Mama explained.
“Mama don’t baby him so, he is already five he needs to have responsibilities of his own,” Caleb reprimanded.
If I could sum up Caleb in two words they would be fun sucker. He is twenty-one and the oldest in our family. Caleb is insufferably proper and over protective. There was this one time when Amia and I were giving the town bum a piece of bread; then Caleb came up behind us and dragged us home lecturing us about safety. His hair unlike Nahim’s is immaculately combed back over his head. Caleb’s eyes are like brown steel piercing through his soul. Everything about Caleb’s figure is angular and harsh. Out of all of my brothers I would have to say that he is my least favorite. Sorry Caleb.
“Caleb, be nice Benny is only five, I have to baby someone. Would you rather I baby you my love?” Mama said smirking.
“Yeah Caleb why do you have to be such a big spoil sport,” Eli said.
“You better watch your step little brother or I will come after you,” Caleb returned.
Eli is the middle brother. He is seventeen and he is the best brother you could always wish for. He has messy hair but he did not inherit the family trait of soft curls. His eyes are deep and kind like puddles of chocolate ice cream. All of Eli’s facial figures are soft and kind just like his personality. Eli is taller than Caleb and this absolutely drives Caleb crazy. He has the look of an athlete which is probably the effect of his playing soccer in the streets all his life.
“Boys, boys what are we fighting about? Is it something silly as usual?” Baba’s voice boomed as he sat down at the table.
“Nothing Baba,” the boys mumbled.
“Amia darling can you please pass me the pitas,” Baba asked.
“Yes of course Baba here you go fresh and hot. I helped Mama make them,” Amia said gently.
Amia is my twin sister. She and I get constant complements about our looks. The two of us are completely identical and the only way you can tell us apart is I part my hair to the right and Amia parts it to the left. I believe that Amia is prettier than I because of the way her eyes sparkle and her rosy pink lips. Or perhaps it’s how kind Amia is. I have issues with being kind to those who oppose me, or maybe I should just say that I’m stubborn. Both Talia and Caleb believe that I will be the last one to be married off, but why should I listen to them?
“Ziva child have you lost your appetite? You are just sitting their staring into space. Is something wrong or something that you need to discuss?” my Baba asked looking concerned.
I wanted to tell him all about Nahim. I felt like I could pour out my heart and soul into his warm brown eyes and fluffy beard. It would feel so much better to have this all off my chest.
“Well…”
“Yes Ziva what is bothering you?” Baba asked.
“It’s nothing Baba, finish your dinner,” I mumbled.
All of a sudden there was a pounding sound at the door. I wondered who in the world would be knocking at this hour when everyone in our village is eating.
“I wonder who that could be,” Baba said seeming puzzled.
Baba leisurely flung the door open and I craned my neck to see who it was. Then I heard the familiar voice and my heart stopped. There at my front door talking to my Baba was Nahim. I felt like I was going to faint as he winked at me; from dread or love I wasn’t sure. I’m going to go with dread.
“Young man, whatever you are selling we want none of it. Whatever your business with us it will have to wait,” Baba said icily.
“No, no, no sayedy, sir. You are mistaken I am not here to sell you anything or offend you. I am here to speak to you about your daughter Ziva,” Nahim explained.
“Ziva what is the meaning of this? Do you want to explain this to me?” my Baba whirled around to face me.
There was tittering from behind me at the table and it made my cheeks flush.
“Baba please can we please discuss this in another room,” I pleaded.
“Fine, young man please come this way. What was your name again?” Baba asked as we proceeded.
“Nahim Weiss is the name sir,” Nahim replied.
I felt as if I was walking to my death. My Baba was walking stiff with anger and Nahim padded like a leopard behind me. As soon as we entered the only bedroom in our house Baba turned on his heel and fired reprimands at me.
“Ziva Aldina Cohen how could you do this to your poor Baba? You know that a girl your age should not be running off with strange boys. Out of all of my daughters I would have least expected you to be engaging in tom foolery. Ziva I am disappointed in you.” Baba said, icily calm.
“Baba I’m sorry but I love him,” I said.
“Mr. Cohen I can explain. You see your daughter and I met in the market place when she dropped all of her goods on the ground and I helped her collect them again. Then things just sort of clicked. I know that it was hasty of me to engage her romantically but I loved her and she loved me. I apologize,” Nahim said smoothly.
“Perhaps I will not be too hard on you two young people, but I do not approve I will have you know,” Baba said softening.
“Oh thank you, thank you Baba,” I said breathlessly.
“Yes Ziva, just don’t abuse your privileges or you will not be allowed to see Nahim ever again,” Baba grumbled.
So it went on like this for a few weeks. Nahim met my family and Talia and Amia were immediately in love, lucky he belongs to me. There was always the constant worry of the war in Iraq, but I have never paid it much attention. Until now. One day I went to the market place to meet Nahim and he pulled me into the shadows.
“Ziva, little flower I must discuss something very serious with you,” Nahim whispered.
“Yes Nahim? What is it?” I had an uneasy feeling.
“You know the war in Iraq, yes? Well I feel that I must join to help my country,” Nahim said.
“Oh Nahim, how can you do such a thing. You might get hurt and then we would never be able to see one another again,” I said tears welling up in my eyes.
“Ziva you mustn’t worry about my safety. I am a big, strong Israeli man who can take care of me. Besides I love you too much to not come back alive,” Nahim said smiling.
“But Nahim what will I ever do without you? I will simply die while you’re gone. And even if you don’t think so war is dangerous if you got injured or died I just don’t know how I would survive,” I said my tears spilling over.
He hugged me to his chest and let me cry into his shoulder until I could cry no more tears. I looked up into his face and he crossed his eyes at me. I started to laugh until my sides ached as he continued his antics.
“Now my little flower you must promise me something my love,” said Nahim.
“Yes anything,” I breathed.
“You must promise me that when I return you will become my wife,” he said looking nervous as he got down on one knee.
“Yes, yes, yes Nahim,” I said with my eyes shining like the Israeli sun.
“I am so very happy now I can leave in peace however Ziva habibi I leave in the morning so unfortunately this is goodbye,” he said.
“I will miss you very much Nahim. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you are going to be safe in Iraq. Nahim I love you more than anything else. And Nahim Weiss don’t you dare get injured or killed or I will never forgive myself for letting you go.
“Oh little Ziva I will be most careful. I will miss you too and I love you very much. Shalom my love,” Nahim said.
He walked down the dusty street. What I didn’t know was that that was the last I would Nahim Weiss.

“Ziva sister can you help me with the washing,” Amia’s musical voice floated in from the yard.

“I’ll be right there,” I shouted.

When I got outside I wandered listlessly over to my twin’s side.

“Oh Ziva you aren’t still thinking about Nahim are you? It has been nearly a fortnight since he left, you must move on until he returns.

“I know Amia but it is so hard to ignore his face in my dreams. I mean you know how gorgeous he is you couldn’t keep from drooling the first time you met him,” I teased.

“I’ll get you for that Ziva Cohen if it’s the last thing I do,” Amia said in mock seriousness.

“It’s the truth sister I was the one that had to wipe your drool up off the floor,” I said mischievously.

“That’s it,” Amia said as she pounced on me.

We rolled around on the ground wrestling and laughing hysterically. Just as I was about to win Eli strolled into the room.

“Well, well, well what do we have here my little sisters? Are you fighting over your dolls just like old times? How very childish of you,” Eli said smirking.

We righted ourselves breathing hard and still shoving at each other.

“Amia your hair is rather mussed you might want to fix it in case one of your many admirers comes to call on you,” Eli teased.

“Brother Dearest I am Ziva not Amia. You couldn’t tell us apart without our hair parted could you,” I said beginning to laugh.

“Uh well I uh leave me alone,” Eli stuttered beginning to blush.
He walked out of the room stripped of his pride. Amia and I collapsed into laughter until our sides were shaking and tears were streaming down our faces.
“Did you see the look on his face when he realized that he had called you me? That is the funniest thing that I have ever seen in my entire life,” Amia sputtered.
“Hey Amia do you feel like going swimming today down at the pond? It is hotter than usual and we have nothing else to do,” I suggested.
“Oh Ziva you’re a genius it would feel absolutely marvelous to jump into that water. I can feel it now, come on lets go,” Amia said enthusiastically.
“Mama, Amia and I are going down to the pond for a swim,” I shouted.
“Have fun girls but Caleb will have to accompany you. I will not have you two go alone,” Mama called back.
“Mama why does he have to come?” we groaned simultaneously.
“Because you could be in danger of drowning or who knows there could be nosey young men snooping around the pond,” Mama explained patiently.
“Fine, but don’t expect us to have any fun with him around, couldn’t you send Eli instead,” I grumbled.
“Ziva Cohen I have made my decision now go and be happy with it or don’t go at all,” Mama said defiantly.
Caleb, Amia, and I proceeded down to the little pond which was nestled in a clump of willow trees.
“Oh it is so hot right now that I don’t know what to do,” Amia slurred.
“You ungrateful little whiners, I can’t believe that I must come with you. Do not expect me to herd over you like a shepherd over his helpless little sheep for I am going to read a book,” Caleb snipped in his annoyed tone of voice.
“Come on Amia lets swim out to that little island in the middle there, at least we can still have some fun without Caleb,” I said mischievously.
We splashed into the shallows of the pond and started to swim toward the small, scrubby island in the center of the glasslike water. Caleb was back on the shore completely absorbed in his book, totally ignoring us. “Go figure,” I mumbled to myself. Amia and I began to paddle out to the u-shaped island in the middle of the pond. The passage where we swam was cold and swirling, just like the feeling rising in my stomach. I am an excellent swimmer. Eli taught me. He says that he is the best swimmer in all of Israel and I have to agree with him, but I don’t want him to get a bigger head. Now Amia, not so much. She can swim, just not very well. I was suddenly jolted back to reality. A blood curdling scream reverberated through the air. I turned around just in time to see the pond’s icy fingers claim my sister. She floundered and choked, and then all was silent.
“No, no Amia!” I screamed. “No! I won’t let you drown,”
I plunged under the surface, the water making my eyes sting. I searched frantically for any traces of my twin, but then I had to return to the surface. Not my sister my dearest friend. I once again dove under the surface and swept my vision from left to right. Then I saw her, lying on her side motionless on the floor. I swam as quickly as I could toward my sister’s limp body and dragged her to the surface.
“Come on please, please breath. I won’t let you leave me,” I sobbed.
Just when I thought she was gone, she coughed. She spluttered and coughed until her face was red. It was the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard. I looked over at Caleb, who was still reading his book despite the commotion. A deep rage set in as a left Amia and stomped over to my brother.
“You idiot! Your sister just almost drowned and you didn’t even take the time to care!” I screamed. “She could have died and you wouldn’t have even noticed! I can’t believe how insensitive you are!”
I went back to Amia’s side and gingerly placed her head upon my cloak. Her breathing was labored and her lids fluttered. The last time I had seen her like this was when she was almost lost to malaria. I carried her back to the house while my stupid brother stayed absorbed in his book without a care in the world.

It had been 4 months since I had received anything from Nahim. Why had I not heard from him, I mean I know that he is busy with the war, but you would think that he would at least take the time to write to me? Nahim promised that he would return safely, but I’m beginning to wonder. It seems that all I can do now is worry, worry, worry. Just then Eli walked up behind me and began to tickle me mercilessly.
“Eli, Eli stop it,” I squealed gasping for air.
“Yeah right little sister, I never get to tickle you anymore,” Eli cackled.
When Eli finally stopped tickling me we were both sitting on the floor laughing uncontrollably and gasping.
“You are so much prettier when you aren’t moping around Ziva. Ever since Nahim left I don’t know if I have seen you smile once,” Eli said solemnly.
“Yes I know that I have been a bit of a black cloud lately, but I just miss him so much Eli,” I sniffled.
“No, no, no Ziva don’t start crying sister or I will have to tickle you again,” he threatened.
“Don’t you dare!” I screamed as he lunged after me again.
This went on for sometime until I recruited Benny and Amia to help me take down the “Evil Eli” as Benny called him.

The months dragged on still bringing no word of Nahim. I somehow managed to drag through my everyday routine. Amia became worried about me saying that I was listless, what does that mean anyway? Then one day a letter arrived.
“Ziva there is mail for you,” Mama sang from the kitchen.
“Who’s it from Mama?” I asked eagerly.
“I haven’t looked at it yet, you will have to open it for yourself,” Mama said grinding flour.
“Amia, I got a letter,” I shouted through the house to my sister.
“Ooh open in Ziva, maybe it is from Nahim,” Amia grinned.
I slid my finger under the tightly sealed flap of the envelope, the paper was crisp and clean. I eagerly tore the letter out of its hope and began to read it.
Miss Ziva Cohen,
We regret to inform you that an unfortunate series of events has occurred. Your fiancé Nahim Weiss has valiantly perished while serving his country. He was killed in a mortar attack in Baghdad. We send our condolences to you.
Yours in sorrow,
S. Sgt. A.L. Muhammad

Israel Defense Forces.

The world seemed to stop. My vision blurred and blood pounded in my ears. Then I heard a huge wail of grief come from somewhere, which I later realized was my own. This just couldn’t be happening, Nahim my Nahim dead on some dusty street in Iraq. I didn’t want it to be true, but it was. The last thing I remember was the room spinning, and then everything went black.

Next thing that I knew Eli was holding my head and my sisters were fanning my face. I was momentarily confused about what was going on; then in all came crashing down upon my shoulders like a thousand tons of lead.

“Nahim is dead?” I asked.

“Yes dearest, alas it is true,” sniffled Amia, her tears falling onto my forehead.

“Ziva, I feel, I mean I’m really sorry. I really liked that Nahim guy,” Eli mumbled.

The rest of my family offered their condolences, but they just went by in a blur. I could tell that they were speaking to me but their voices seemed to have slowed down. I had never realized how much Nahim meant to me until he was gone. I wondered if we would get his body back, or if there was anything left of him at all. Nahim’s brother Nate is all that he had besides us. I just can’t believe that he’s gone.

“Ziva are you alright, I mean of course you’re not but is there anything at all that I can do for you. I have been truly awful to you and I just want to help,” said a voice from behind me.

I turned to see Caleb of all people. I couldn’t believe that he even cared, little alone wanted to help.

“Oh Caleb thank you, but I don’t know that anyone can help me now. Brother I’m just so sad right now I can’t explain it,” I whispered.

“Alright, but if you need anything just please tell me, I will leave you to yourself now,” he murmured.

So I resolved to cry into my pillow once more.