We only have five minutes until class starts, and then there’s me, standing still in the middle of the hallway. That bell is annoying. Normally when I hear it I swear I'm going to punch someone’s eye out. But not today. Today I'm feeling pretty good. 

I see a girl, who looks exactly like my Ama, with really burnt hair which is almost at the point of unfixable, almost like her liver. Even her skin is pale white. Ama has gone a week without drinking. Well, at least not drinking in front of us. I guess this time she might be trying. But this time may not be so different from the rest.

“MOVE,” says a random kid who seems to be in a rush.

I check the time. We have a minute until the bell rings. Have I been standing here for four minutes? 

I look around and people are saying goodbye to each other as if they aren't going to see each other for another year. Meanwhile, they are probably going to see each other during lunch. It's pretty annoying.

I should probably get to class. Science isn't the best subject, but not the worst, the worst is PE. Ms. Bezos isn't the nicest person there is. Especially if you can't run the mile in under 10 minutes. Let's just say, I can barely run it in less than 13 minutes.  

My teacher, Mr. Fitz, is my 5th-period science teacher. If I had to describe his classroom, I would say it feels like the wrapper is the best part of the candy. He tries to make it feel welcoming, with the “Safe Space” posters, but it doesn't feel comfortable when he has a “Make America Great Again” poster on the wall on top of his desk.

“Today we're going to mix some chemicals. You have to get into groups of four. NO exceptions.”

Welp. Crap. I know absolutely no one in this class. I look around searching for people to pair up with, but almost everyone else is already in groups. Only two more people are still not in groups, but they look like close friends. I stay sitting silently in my seat.

“If you don't have your partners, raise your hand”

The two other people and I raise our hands.

“It's not enough to make a group, but it'll do. You three, group. Introduce yourselves, don't be scared,” he says as if it were that simple.

We move our desks next to each other.

“Hello there,” says the girl, very cheerfully.

I was debating in my head if I should act as if I was mute.

“Hi,” I said after I made up my mind.

“What's your name?” says the girl.

“Uh, my name is Drift”

“That's a cool name, Drift. My name is Peggy, but most people call me Peg. Oh, and his name is Skittle.” 

The person who I'm guessing is Skittles hands me a worksheet but doesn't say anything as they do.

“Thanks?” Peggy sounded as if it was the first time he did something nice for her.

How come “Skittle” hasn't introduced himself? Why is his nickname a candy? 

And how is Peggy this energetic at 10 in the morning?! I wonder if she drank coffee today.

“Don't worry about Skittle, he's normally shy around new people,” said Peggy. I guess she saw the confusion in my face. “We should probably get some goggles if we're going to use chemicals.”

Oh, right. Science.

“Umm, yeah,” I managed to say.

“Ok, so let's-a-go!” she said very loudly in a Luigi-sounding voice.

Some people looked at us after she said that, but she didn't seem to mind it. God, to have confidence like that.

One period later, lunch. As I predicted, I was right. Ugh, look at those couples. The temptation is strong to yell “Get a room!”, but then there would be a surge of teenage pregnancies and missing dads.

“Hey, you're Drift, right? From period 3?” said someone behind me.

I turn around, oh it's Peggy.

“Oh, hi,” I said.

“Sorry, it seemed as if I scared you. You just seemed so lonely, and I wanted to ask if you wanted to sit with me and Skittle,” she said. I guess my voice sounded scared.

At the moment I didn't believe it. Someone invited me to sit with them. But then I started wondering if she was just asking out of pity.

“Umm, yeah sure,” I said.

“YAY! Thanks for coming with me! We've been hoping to see new faces in our group,” she said. She sounded like she meant it. But I still doubted it.

Her group of friends was pretty big. Huge if I do say so myself.

Most of them didn't even notice me, but I'm already used to that. But some of

them asked my name and pronouns. I didn't know how to respond to them, so I just said my name is Drift and to mess with them told them different pronouns, to see if they were transphobic. There was one kid, so I just never talked to her and I had a pretty good time.

Today there were nachos and pizza for lunch. Of course, I got the nachos but I'm glad we have the option. It's better than the food Ama makes, and I promise you you do not want to try my Ama's food. I wonder why Abuela never taught her how to cook.

I sometimes don't understand why people complain about school food, some of it is pretty good, especially on Wednesdays and Thursdays. This month they have been serving nachos on one Thursday and chicken tenders on the next Thursday.

“Hey Drift, you seem distracted, anything you want to share?” said Peggy. 

“Umm, the food is pretty good?” I said. 

“Yeah I know right? Nachos are my favorite school food,” Peggy said. 

Ok, so Peggy likes nachos. Noted. So far, I've been making mental notes about Peggy. Peggy reminds me of the color lavender, but that might also be because she smells like lavender too. 

“Are you sure that's all you wanted to say though? It seems like you still have a lot on your mind. Unless you don't want to share it, I'm not trying to force you,” said Peggy. 

She's kind.

Or is it just for show?

 AAAAHHHHHHH! Who are you? 

Oh me? I'm the voice that's at the verrryyyy back of your head. You know, the one who makes you doubt yourself in the middle of the tests.

So it was YOUR fault I went down in the MAP test?

Of course, it was pretty stressful after all.

You're joking, right?

You mean YOU'RE joking. We're the same person. 

Oh, right.

Anyways I think you should go back to your conversation, they're looking at you weirdly. 

“Umm, no it's ok, I'm just wondering if I should study for the math test tomorrow,” I said in a panic. I did not know my mind could do that. 

“The WHAT,” she shrieked. That was the most scared she has sounded the whole time I've known her for, for what, 3 hours? 

“Yeah for honors,” I said. I wasn't sure but I think it is. Yeah, tomorrow is Friday.

“Oh ok then never mind, I'm good,” she said.

"Wait for WHAT," another said. 

I didn't know who they were but then they immediately started asking questions. I would, or better, could never.

The next day in science, Mr. Fitz let us change our seats. I look over to Peggy and Skittles and it seemed like we all had the same idea. I was desperate to finally sit with them, especially since all the people that I sat with were all friends and would never talk to me except when they had questions. It was boring to sit there with no friends. 

Then, out of the blue, he told us all that we have a week to make a presentation on one part of the human body. Luckily, we had actually paid attention to class, so it was pretty easy. We went to Peggy and Skittles’ house, and I made a lot of excuses to not go to my house.

We almost went to my house, but I just didn’t want them to see anything, since I haven’t cleaned my room in what feels like a year.

The next week finally came, and we were ready, except for the fact that PEGGY AND SKITTLES DIDN’T SHOW UP. 

Oh yes. This is my time to shine. 

DON’T. YOU. DARE.

You’re getting nervous. 

PLEASE I BEG YOU THIS COULD MAKE OR BREAK MY GRADE.

Oh, I know. You know you don’t scare me.

“Mr. Sarcofa, it’s your turn to present,”

aAAAAHHHHHHHHh

“Umm, uh ok,” It felt like the whole world was looking at me. “But my group isn’t here.”

“Oh, ok, so now you’re the one in charge of both of their grades,” he said with the happiest voice I’ve ever heard come from him. If he could, he probably only drink his student’s tears.

I send him the slides that Peggy made, which were really pretty if I do say so myself, so he could put them on the smartboard. Then I remembered something really bad. I did not practice for this.

 Peggy was supposed to do most of the talking and I just did the last slide, since that was when most people stop paying attention to the presentation—unless they’re one of those who have a really long attention span. They’re weird. 

“Ms. Sarcofa, we’re waiting for you,” he said with a devilish grin. God, I’m starting to hate this guy. I would’ve turned to violence if I weren’t so nervous. 

I went up to the board and it felt as if time slowed down, like really quickly slowed down. It made me nauseous. Oh no, this is not good. 

I went up to the board, the first slide was pretty easy. It was just our names. It started getting more difficult when I kept looking around and everyone was looking at me. I was getting more nauseous, I was starting to eye the trash can. When I got to the third slide, I booked it to the bathroom. I didn’t even ask, I felt it in my throat that I was about to puke. I barely made it on time, and I took like seven minutes in there. Oh no. Oh no no no no this could not be happening. I have the weight of Peggys and Skittles grades on my shoulders. 

This could make their grades drop to an F. They’re gonna be really mad. No, they’re probably not going to be friends with us anymore.

No, they’re going to understand. They know me. 

Would you still be friends with them if they dropped your grade to an F?

Of course! Why would I not?

It wasn’t your fault, but you’re still facing the consequences. 

You know what, just shut up. 

Ok, if you say so. 

I hear someone come in.

“Hey Drift, are you here?” said Jacob, a kid that used to sit next to me when I sat at his table. 

“Yeah, I’m here,” I said.

“Mr. Fitz wanted to say that you’re getting an F unless you want to re-do it on Monday,” he said. He sounded a little sympathetic, but not like Peggy. She can always make me feel better. He left.

“Ok, thanks,” I said. I shook my head and went to drink water. I was headed to the nurse but started crying and I went to the nearest stall and cried. And cried. And cried. 

After I was done crying, I went to the nurse. Of course, I was sent home since I just vomited. I went to go get my stuff and called my mom to come to pick me up. She was, surprisingly, sober enough to drive so I didn’t have to take the bus, but I don’t even think you could leave home on the bus. 

The next day both Peggy and Skittles came up to me to say sorry that they weren’t there, and that they wanted to see if I could do it by myself. 

That made me mad. They know I couldn’t do it without them. I excused myself to the bathroom and cried a little bit. I don’t know why but I cry when I get frustrated. 

Skittles came in this time and asked if I was ok. I said yeah and then came out. 

Peggy was outside waiting for us and asked me if we want to e-mail Mr. Fitz if we could re-do it. I did not want to have an F in his class so I said yes, but I made them promise me that they would be there to help. 

The whole weekend I studied the slides and practiced for the little percent chance that they would leave me again. 

You’re a disappointment.

No, you’ve got it all wrong buddy.

Yes but no. You technically disappointed them because they expected more from you. 

You know what, I really want to slam my head on this wall. You’re annoying. 

Ok, fine. I’ll shut up. 

Thank you. 

Monday, the day I’ve been dreading for a long time. I couldn’t sleep last night, I was reviewing the notes. I looked around for them, and they were there. That was a huge relief. We walked to Mr. Fitz’s classroom and he looked disappointed that I wasn’t alone. 

“Mr. Sarcofa,” he looked at Peggy and Skittles, “and partners, your turn to present.”

This time I was ready. We went up to the board and it felt less stressful. Peggy went first, then Skittles, and then I did. This time I had more, confidence? Hmm. Interesting. 

We went back to our seats and everything was like, normal? What is this witchcraft? 

Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I had some adrenaline at the beginning, but then it just disappeared. I just realized I had actually done it. I had done it?

 Woah, now that takes some confidence.