My body is asking me to move, but I feel I cant. I slowly move back and forth deciding to get up or not. I look toward my alarm clock, 11:29 pm. Guess I´m nocturnal now. I felt it was a short nap but I was asleep for almost all day. My stomach is growling, it feels like my organs are eating each other.

Mom is asleep on the counter, probably sleeping from all the beer cans and jars that are next to her. I thought she was awake since all the lights were on, including the restroom which is a mess. What more could I expect from a drunk lady. Mom usually never gets like this. On very rare occasions or when we are at a small party with people we trust and feel comfortable with. Like Alicia, Eloise, Rigo, and Juan. 

I get a banana, drink water, and go back to my room. I want to wake mom up but I know it’s impossible. It’s cold outside, but I need a cold shower. 

I turn on the water to the right point, I want it cold I don’t want hyperthermia. The icy water pinching my skin feels good, I feel it slide everywhere on my body; the water getting tangled on my curly hair. What’s with showers and it is like a therapy session or a place where you question everything. Will I get bullied in two weeks when school starts? Is mom ok? When will dad come back from work? He should be back already, it’s already over 11. I sit down on the floor below the shower. Water rushing through my back, the most relaxing feeling. 

I get out of the shower and put on my old black shirt with colorx stains on it. As I pull up my warm sweat pants I realize my feet are sticking out. Should probably get more clothes. I walk out of the restroom and cover a chair with my wet towel. I will wait for dad until he comes home, I will play video games until he arrives. 

***

School will begin in two hours, I am already ready since I know there is going to be traffic, and I need time to wake mom up and clean her up. Since we got the news of Dad’s death she has only been drinking. When she runs out of alcohol she orders it online, she doesn´t drink water, and she hardly eats. There are vomit stains all over the living room floor. I like to imagine it like the ¨floor is lava¨, the rocks that keep you safe are the clean floor, each day the level gets harder. It’s almost impossible to navigate through the kitchen so I sit on a chair and pull myself against furniture. I finally reach the fridge and open it, the cold breeze refreshes my face. What a surprise, leftovers and beer. I get the rock-solid pancakes and put them for 3 minutes in the microwave, I don’t want them hot, I want them soft.

Mom wakes up to the awful smell. I am not sure if they are still edible but the food is food. The taste is worse than its smell. I get the honey and cover the pancake until it is soup. Mom gets up from the sofa and walks to the restroom. I´m about to bite onto my second pancake when I hear a loud crash coming from the restroom. I run over there and notice that the shower is on, but I can’t see mom. I get closer and see mom laying down and a small red puddle getting bigger over her head. 

I pick her up and run to get my phone. I need to call an ambulance.

¨9-1-1 What your emergency?¨

¨Please send an ambulance, my mom just fell in the restroom and is bleeding from her head¨

¨Ok, please give us your address. Please stay calm and be patient. I know it sounds impossible to be calm but please try to be.¨

¨Ok ok, my address is 420 Grove Street¨

¨Ok the ambulance is on its way.¨

5 minutes pass and the puddle is now reaching her waist. I hear an ambulance in the distance and run to open the door. The ambulance stops in front of the street and runs toward me.

¨Please help my mom is bleeding from her head!¨

¨Yes we are here to help.¨

The Parademics pick up my mom, put a quick bandage on her head, and take her to the ambulance. 

¨We will need to take your mom to the hospital, is there someone you can stay with?¨ 

¨No, but school starts in half an hour.¨

¨We need to make sure you stay with someone. Do you have any guardian or family member you can stay with?¨

¨I guess my grandma.¨

¨Good to know, you will have to stay with her.¨

***

¨Mom, how are you feeling?¨

¨Me duele la cabeza mijo.¨

¨Si ma, tuviste un accidente.¨

¨Como paso?¨ 

¨Te resbalaste en el baño¨

A middle-aged doctor walks into the room, her hair sprinkled with white hair. Her skinny body almost reaches the top frame of the door. 

¨Hello, you must be Santi¨ The doctor says.

¨Yes. How is my mom?¨

¨Please come outside with me, that’s what I was waiting for.¨

¨So how is she doctor?¨

¨Her high consumption of alcohol made her bleed faster. How long has she been drinking for?̈¨

¨Since my dad died. About 2 weeks¨

¨Did she ever eat or drink water¨

¨Not much, the only food I ordered. Since she was asleep or vomiting she ate it cold, and since she cannot really walk she cant use the microwave.¨

¨What about water?¨

¨Only alcohol¨

¨ I see. When she is better we will make sure she lowers her addiction¨

High school has definitely been an experience. Alfredo has changed since the last time I played video games with him. He has become very popular and doesn´t want to talk anymore. Everyone here has been trying to get away from me. I have been hearing rumors about my dad’s death, maybe it was all planned. 

***

It is now lunchtime and it’s hard to find a spot if you’re not in a friend group. I walk around the cafeteria for a long time, my food is getting colder with each step. I see from an open seat on the other side of the cafeteria. I start walking faster, I am very close. I lay my food on the table and am about to sit, at the exact moment I get pushed away from the seat. I turn around to confront the person.

¨Hey, I was about to sit there.¨

¨But you weren´t.¨

I am not in the mood to have an argument, I get my food and walk away. I know it will be hard to find a spot to sit so I just eat on the floor.

***

I stare at the clock waiting for it to strike 3´oclock. It’s 2:58 and then I will be able to leave. The red stick is slowly jumping from dash to dash, Mr. Lopez continues to talk about the American revolution, important battles blah blah blah. I just want to go home, and help mom. I start to space out and am somewhat hypnotized. I forget where I am as my brain begins to concentrate. 

¨Santiago please stay after class¨ Mr. Lopez says.

I know someone said something but I don’t know who or what they said. 

¨Santiago¨

The loud bell buzz wakes me up. I get my worksheet and stuff it into my backpack. The zipper gets stuck as I pull it up, I should probably get a new one. I have had this one since 3rd grade. 

¨Santiago please wait for 5 minutes¨

I walk back. 

¨Santiago, I have noticed your grades have dropped for all of your classes, and that you have been really tired. Is there something that is bothering you?̈¨

¨Well.¨ I stay silent for a moment¨ I am sure you know what happened to my dad, and my mom has been struggling with a beer addiction. She cant work so, I am doing it. After school, I eat then go to work, that’s why I am really tired.¨

Mr. Lopez stays silent and says, ¨Oh. That is very shocking, the school has feeding programs and counselors if you need help.¨

¨Yeah I know. I have been receiving food.¨

¨If you need help please tell me.¨

I walk out of the classroom and make my way home. Now that mom hasn´t picked me up from school, I observe more of the neighborhood. There is either an avocado or orange tree in each house. Gang signs are on the cracked pavement. Beer bottles and cans of all sorts clenched on the fences. The bottles in front lawns signal if a package is ready or not. It’s actually weird if it doesn’t smell like weed. I always walk fast in these areas, and if I hear a ¨hey¨ I don’t turn around. I never realized how ghetto this place really is. 

I get home and mom is in the couch watching tv, I smell that something has been cooked which is a good sign. 

¨Hola mijo, ya llegaste.¨

¨Si ma, voy a comer y lluego voy a mi trabajo.¨

¨Como que trabajo?¨

¨Si ma, yo trabajo. Con eso page la mayoria de la cuenta del hospital, y con eso pago la renta. Yo te avise. Y tambien te corrieron de tu trabajo¨

¨Con quien trabajas?¨

¨En la fonda de la esquina lavando trastes.¨

While mom is in rehabilitation I stay home and go through dads things. I always seem to find something new which I didn´t know he had. Soccer Sunday league 2nd place medal, my first clothes he got for me, a few pictures at our old home. What memories that place brings, the large mango tree in the back giving of fresh shade in the summer. A keep looking through the pictures when I find some of a younger version of my dad, probably when he was a young adult. I look closer at the details the picture offers. The snowy mountains in the background with spruce trees bringing green here and there.  A familiar face appears next to my dad, my school principal, Mr. Jimenez.

I keep looking through more pictures and he keeps appearing. I am very confused. I know my dad was very loved in our old town but why was he with Mr. Jimenez. More and More pictures of them together pass, I find one that leaves me with my mouth open in shock. 

My dad and Mr. Jimenez smoked weed while playing cards at a table with lots of alcohol and guns. Were they drug lords.

***

Mom is about to leave her meeting today, I have just enough time to visit the police office. I want to figure out more details on my dad’s assassination. 

A young-looking receptionist looks up and says ¨Hello, how may I help you?¨

¨Hey, um. I would like to know how the investigation on my dad’s death is going.¨

¨I can’t give too many details but we found a mask and a symbol¨ she responds.

¨Can I see what the symbol looks like?¨

A circle with two slightly inclined lines inside of it and a smiling mask is all the information I get. 

¨Thank you mam.¨ I say.

As I walk to Mom’s rehabilitation center I look around to see if I can find the symbol again. The cars rushing through the streets make it hard to look for it. As I am about to give up I find it next to an altar. What does it mean? Is it placed where someone dies to pay respect or to scare people?

As soon I get home I rush to my room and turn on my computer to do some investigation on the symbol. Nothing similar seems to appear. I retype my search and find the symbol on the first link. A website with a black screen pops up. Only the center is red with three options. Login, Password, and about us. I click on about us and it redirects me to another page. An anonymous profile comment is the only thing there. ¨This place is too cruel, death is inevitable, lets make our own rules, laws, and religion. One day we take over the world. For now, we have to cause terror.¨

I think the rumors are true, my dad was probably assassinated. 

***

One day has passed and I still don’t know what to think. I will have enough time to think or fix my sleep schedule since we are having an assembly at school, yay. Mr Jimenez starts to talk about staying safe, excluding drugs, hypocrate, and being a scholar. I know that the picture I found could hurt his professional life but I wont show it. As it is about to end he raises his arms during the school chant. His vest rises and revails a small tattoo, A circle with two lines inside of it. 

My eyes open quickly, and posture changes. I will confront him after school, if the office people let me pass by. 

¨Hello my I see Mr.Jimenez?¨

He is a bit busy right now, can you wait about 15 minutes, then he will have a bit of time to talk to you.¨

¨Yes I can wait.¨ 

I walk back and sit on the chairs while I wait, the office is always a busy place so I am lucky they gave me an opportunity. 

¨You can pass now.¨The office lady says.

¨Good Afternoon Santiago, how may I help you.¨

¨Nice tatoo¨

¨What?¨

¨Oh yeah, your brain probably can´t function after all those drugs you consumed with my dad.¨

¨I did know your dad, but I never did drugs with him.¨

¨Really? What about this.¨ I take out the picture and see his smile dissapear. 

¨Oh did you find it?¨

¨They same I way I found your tattoo.¨

¨Your are smarter than I thought, very smart. Be smart, don’t make hurt you or your mom¨

¨That symbol, was next to my dad’s dead body.¨

¨He deserved it¨

¨So you killed him!¨

¨I was involved, but I didn´t hurt him, I didn´t want them to hurt him¨

¨I got it on tape, tell me what you know.¨

¨Cheeky boy, just saying and letting you know, the reality is never what it seems. Life is an iceberg.¨

¨Tell that to the judge.¨

I walk out and run toward the police office, I need to talk to the chief.

¨Hello how may I help you?¨ The same young voice in front of the police officer speaks. 

¨Hey¨ I say as I sprint towards the office of the chief.

¨Chieff you need to hear this.¨

¨Who let you in?¨

I get pulled away but not before the voice recording is heard. I see the chief look at me dead at the eye and do a phone call. 

***

Today was definitely interesting but worth it. The culprit of my dad’s death is now going to be in jail. That is the only thing I think about as I lay in bed ready to go to sleep. It’s a dark and chilly night, I get up to get an extra blanket. I pull one down and hear a crash downstairs. I pull my head outside the door frame and don’t see anything. As I turn around a large silhouette is in front of me. I try to run but I feel something penetrate my back, I now feel tired.

***

¨Kid, listen up. Don’t say anything and you will live. You getting into dangerous territories.¨

I stare at them.

¨ok you said so.¨

I feel an electric burn all over my body.

¨AHHHHHHH¨ I scream.

¨So what do you say¨

I look at them. 

¨This could be easier, I never thought I would to torture a kid¨

A man and a lady start kicking me and punching me. I feel my body getting weaker and slowly losing blood. 

I don’t move after that.

¨Is he dead?¨

The man that was giving orders walks toward me and puts his hand in front of my nose. I hold my breath as long as I can. 

¨Yep he is dead, take him away.¨

I feel my body gets put in a bag and into a car. I am too weak to move. 

¨Your good to go¨ The doctor says.

I still don’t know what happened, I am dizzy. All I know is that I was beaten and in a coma for a month. Time for my revenge. 

We arrive home and I struggle to go up the stairs, I need to check the small cameras I put. The camera caught every single movement. I make copies of the files and send them to the Tv center. Let´s see what happens.

***

The videos I sent brought lots of attention to the county, especially to the police. It turns out they were corrupt and being bought by drug sellers like Mr. Jimenez. He was sent to jail along with the sheriff. 

I get a phone from an unknown number.

¨Hello?¨ I ask

¨We are from the police department, the convict Felix Jimenez wants to talk to you.¨

***

¨Well you did do it.¨ Mr. Jimenez says.

¨I did, now what do you want?¨

¨You want to truth, I'll give you the truth. Your mom, ordered to kill your dad.¨ 

¨Your good to go¨ The doctor says.

I still don’t know what happened, I am dizzy. All I know is that I was beaten and in a coma for a month. Time for my revenge. 

We arrive home and I struggle to go up the stairs, I need to check the small cameras I put. The camera caught every single movement. I make copies of the files and send them to the Tv center. Let´s see what happens.

***

The videos I sent brought lots of attention to the county, especially to the police. It turns out they were corrupt and being bought by drug sellers like Mr. Jimenez. He was sent to jail along with the sheriff. 

I get a phone from an unknown number.

¨Hello?¨ I ask

¨We are from the police department, the convict Felix Jimenez wants to talk to you.¨

***

¨Well you did do it.¨ Mr. Jimenez says.

¨I did, now what do you want?¨

¨You want to truth, I'll give you the truth. Your mom, ordered to kill your dad.¨