Amnesia

By: Morgan K

She sat there in silence, listening to the rush of cars going by. The girl leaned back on the bench and sighed. A single tear fell down her face, followed by more that couldn’t help but escape. She sat there like this for what seemed like an eternity. Until her eyes were dry and tears fell no more. With puffy eyes and an aching soul, she stood up and walked. The girl didn’t know where she just knew that she couldn’t be in that place anymore. The park brought back too many unwanted memories that tore her up on the inside. The girl didn’t know why she had come to the park in the first place, knowing that being there would just make her feel worse. 

As she walked, memories, where she felt at home and content, flooded her brain. All of the people she loved so dearly surrounded her and made her feel loved. These memories, however, were all just lies and they wanted nothing to do with her. They all eventually left her and now she was alone. During these walks, the girl became a shell of a human being. There were no emotions visible on her face. Her expressions were mundane like the traffic on the streets next to her. She was empty inside and everyone could see. Still, they paid no attention to the depressing figure walking down the street. She just kept moving her feet while people shuffled out of her way like they were trying not to let her sadness rub off on them.

She made her way down the familiar street with the small shop and apartment buildings toward the only place she could stand to be at the moment. The small block of industrials flats was one of many in this area. 

She walked and stopped in front of an inviting wooden door. Looking over to her left there is a call box lined with names. Orchid Thomas. The letters jumped out at her. She reached out and traced the letters in her last name over and over again. This was also her father’s last name and it was the only thing that let her feel close to him. 

She brought her hand back to her side and continued to walk through the door of the building. Orchid made her way down the dimly lit hallway to the front door of her flat. She fished around in her pocket to find the key and popped it into the lock when she did. 

Her flat was cozy, not too big, not too small. The colors and decorations made her feel at home with herself. Each knickknack represented something about her personality. Every single one held a memory. Some good. Some bad. But all memories nonetheless. 

As her feet shuffled on the floor through the kitchen/dining room, a little yip can be heard from an adjacent room. The sound of paws and claws scratching on the laminate floor echoes through the small place. As she nears the bedroom door, the scratching stops, and small whimpers startup. Orchid opens the door and a little ball of fluff flies out. A small corgi puppy now sits in the middle of the living room patiently waiting for the attention of his owner. 

“Harvey!” She says with a hint of relief in her voice.

The small puppy by the name of Harvey trots over to her and plops on the ground, belly up. Orchid chuckled at his antics and walked over to meet him. She sat on the carpet with her legs crossed. Harvey, seeing the perfect opportunity, jumped into her lap and snuggled up to her. His small bum wagged back and forth showing how happy he was.

“I hope your day has been better than mine,” Orchid stated, knowing well that Harvey couldn’t understand her, “Mine was all depressing and boring. I went back to the park and cried like a crazy person.”

As she talked, tears threatened to spill in her eyes. Even though she cried a lot this morning, the feelings were still fresh and it was hard to contain the sadness that filled her. 

“I still miss him, Harvey. I know I shouldn’t because he hurt me, but no matter how much I try to get him out of my head, I can’t.” 

The tears were free falling at this point and she did nothing to stop them. They fell down her cheeks and landed on her shirt. An hour or so passed by and she just stayed in the same position. Sitting on the floor by the windows in complete silence. This silence was interrupted, however, by a shrill ringtone. The notes of the repetitive song played snapping Orchid out of her pitiful state. She picked up Harvey from her lap and placed him on the ground next to her. She jumped up and answered the phone that was vibrating on the kitchen counter. Not checking the caller ID, she answered the call.

“Hello?” she asked with hesitation.

“Wow, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning and now you decide to pick up. I swear Orchid, I thought you had been kidnapped or something,” The snobby voice of her younger sister plunged through the phone. 

“Sorry Kinley, I was on a walk earlier and didn’t bring my phone with me. I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you calling?” 

“I can’t just call my older sister whenever I feel like it?” Kinley asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. 

“You don’t usually call me this often or even worry about me for that matter,” she replied with a little bit of attitude.

“Well, I'm trying to be a better sister and help you through this hard time!” Kinley answered back, uncertainty lined her voice.

Kinley could hear Orchid scoff through the phone.

“Hey, I hate to remind you that the only times you call me are when you are in the city or when you need something from me. So, what is it this time?” Orchid snapped back losing all kindness in her voice.

“Okay, okay, I do need something from you. I’m here in the city and I need a place to stay for a while, I was hoping that you could come and pick me up from the airport and that I could crash with you.”

Orchid sighed, she may dislike her sister at times but she will always be there for her. Kinley would hopefully do the same thing for her. Hopefully.

“Okay, Kinley. Give me a second to get ready and I’ll be there in 15,” Orchid told her with reluctance. 

“Thank you so much Orchid. I’ll repay you later!” Kinley half-yelled into the phone.

Orchid hung up and stood up to get ready. Harvey jumped off of her lap and waddled his way into the bedroom. Quickly Orchid followed. She changed and grabbed her keys off of the counter. She patted Harvey on the head and walked swiftly out of the door. 

Orchid drove in silence down the streets of New York. The only thing surrounding her was her thoughts. Some of the thoughts were good and filled her with joy that she had not felt in a long time. Others hurt and took that joy away in an instant. She continued her drive but it was cut short. Screeching tires and breaking glass. Pain that was there and gone quickly. Flashing lights and distant voices. Then it vanished. 

Darkness.

 Silence.

Nothingness.

Orchid opened her eyes but was met with a blinding light. This forced her eyes closed and she stayed like that for a minute. She opened them slowly this time hoping she could save her impaired vision. She was met with white everywhere. Beeping echoed in the small room. She could hear the rush of footsteps outside the small room she was in. As she looked around, even more, she noticed her sister sleeping soundly in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs. So this means I got hurt? She thought to herself. 

“Kin… ley…” she got out with a raspy voice.

Immediately Kinley opened her eyes and looked Orchid’s way. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked tired like she hadn’t slept in days. She got up quickly and ran to Orchid’s side. 

“I’m here. I’m here. Let me call the doctor in to check on you,” Kinley said quickly and then rushed off to get the nurse or doctor that was on call at that time. 

This left Orchid alone with her thoughts. Her voice was hoarse as though she hadn’t used it in months. Her limbs were stiff, asleep and useless. All she was capable of doing was sitting there. In these moments she let her thoughts consumer her once more. However, this was also not an option because her thoughts were clouded. She could remember some things like her dad’s funeral, random college friends, and other small events. It felt like something was missing. Something big, but she just could not remember what it was. 

There was something off now. She felt happy and something told her that she hadn’t felt this in a while. The doctor came in later and checked her out. Her memories still hadn’t made an appearance but she wasn’t upset. Orchid and Kinley packed their things so they could go home. 

With Orchid’s newfound freedom from her emotions and memories, she stepped outside of the hospital to begin the next chapter in her life.