” APRIL 18, 2011 NORMAN Silence, complete silence -- only the sound of rain and my thoughts to interrupt it. I overheard the television running from next door: “Breaking News! Today marks the 5 year anniversary of a brutal shooting that took place at a high school in Rutland City, Vermont. A 17-year old boy opened fire at the high school, killing 10 and injuring 14. The police have no leads on why Jimmy Scott committed this terrible crime,” reported the news anchor. I snickered to myself at the thought that I would soon join people like Jimmy Scott and be in control of 1000 students, but more importantly their fear. I rolled out the blueprints of the school, marking the best entrances to get in undetected. Then I suddenly heard the sound of someone walking up the stairs. I shuffled all the papers under my bed and turned on the tv. “Norman, what are you doing?” he called out to me. “Just watching some tv Dad,” I replied. “Well, dinner will be ready in a minute,” he said. “Ok, I will be right down.” I waited until my father left the room to pull out the blueprints and continue my work. I finally finished my plan and went downstairs for my last meal as a normal person. ~~~ EMILY I was sitting on my La-Z-Boy couch, the tv lighting my face, switching through channels on a stormy Tuesday night, “Breaking News! Today marks the 5 year anniversary of a brutal shooting that took place at a high school in Rutland City, Vermont. A 17-year old boy opened fire at the high school killing 10 and injuring 14. The police have no leads on why Jimmy Scott committed this terrible crime,” reported the news anchor. I listened to the sound of rain gently beating against our roof as the news processed through my brain. I felt the same way I did after every shooting that I heard: fearful. My mom entered the room and sat down next to me, wrapping her arms around me. “It’s okay Emily, that happened hundreds of miles from here. You’re safe here; it’s Rockland, Maine for goodness sakes. Nothing happens here,” my mother whispered to me as she made her way to the back door to let our dog out. I let her words fill my head, and I soon felt better. She was right; I shouldn’t let these scary thoughts cross my mind. About 7,000 people lived in this town. What could happen? ~~~ APRIL 19, 2011 NORMAN I woke up the next day feeling triumphant that I had gotten this far. I got ready for “school” and went downstairs. I went through my daily routine and was downstairs a lot quicker than I had anticipated. I gathered my blueprints and shoved them into the abyss I call my backpack. I walked outside and unlocked my 1999 Crown Victoria. I got in and turned the engine on. I rolled down the driveway and drove to the Rockin’ Rockland Diner. I pulled up in the parking lot of the diner and let the aroma of bacon and pancakes lull me to paradise. As I went inside two girls were walking out and one of them bumped into me. “I’m sorry.” said the one on the end. She had long, light brown hair and her eyes were the glimmering color of emerald, sparkling in the light of the morning sun. “It’s fine.” I said, slightly irritated. They then went back to laughing hysterically to a social media post. I stepped into the diner and was greeted by a kind waitress at the bar. “Welcome to Rockin’ Rockland Diner, what can I get for you?” she asked. “Can I please have 2 pancakes with bacon and hash?” I replied “Will that be all?” she questioned. “Yes, thank you.” I said. She then walked to the back to put my order in. I sat there for 15 minutes before heaven was delivered to my eager plate. I devoured my breakfast and paid the check. I walked out of the diner and drove to the school. ~~~ EMILY My eyes slowly began to open as I listened to the beep of my alarm clock. I pulled my arm out from under my soft blanket, shut off the clock, sat up and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands. “Good morning Emily,” my mother whispered to me as she quietly stepped into my room. I gave her a soft “uh” to acknowledge that I was awake. “Would you like eggs or toast for breakfast sleepyhead?” “No thanks. Harper, Madison and I are going to the Rockin’ Rockland,” I said as I slowly climbed out of my warm bed. I made my way to the bathroom and I turned on the light. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and thought to myself “time to start another day in ‘nothing happens here’ Rockland.” Grabbing my backpack, I walked out the front and opened the door to my blue Volkswagen Beetle. I turned on The Chain, by Fleetwood Mac and rolled down my window and listened to the wind blow just like Lindsey Buckingham said to do. As I pulled into a parking spot at the diner, I waved to Harper and Madison who were both waiting at the front door. We walked in and the bell rung indicating that someone had just entered the store. “Hey ladies! Welcome back!” “Hey Charlie! How are you?” Madison asked. “Better than I deserve.” Charlie said. He always answered the question like that. We take our place at a booth and I ordered a stack of pancakes, bacon and eggs. “Oh my gosh, did you see what Noah posted on instagram yesterday?” Harper asked us as she batted her eyelashes. “Oh my gosh yes!! He was looking fine. And that new leather jacket though, you could see his biceps through the jacket. HE IS RIPPED!!” said Madison. “Did you see Emily? Wasn’t he looking like a SNACK?!” Harper said hypervenelating. “Yeah I saw it. Wasn’t that cute,” I said quietly. “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!” they said is unison. Right as they stood up to yell at me, our food came. “What in the world are y’all talking about?” Charlie asked us as he carefully placed our steaming plates on the table. “Just some guy at our school Charlie. Apparently, EMILY does not think he is attractive.” Harper said with her finger shaking in my face. “Woman. Well, you ladies enjoy your breakfast,” he said, rolling his eyes and smiling. As we scarfed down our food, I looked at the time at it, it was already 7:40. “Guys, we need to get going! School starts in 20 minutes!” I said pointing at my watch. We grab our bags and quickly try to consume anything left on our plates. I slap a $20 bill on the counter in front of Charlie. “Keep the change,” I said “Thanks Em,” he said, winking at me. Harper, Madison and I head for the door and I bumped into a shoulder. I turned around and quickly said sorry. “It’s fine,” he looked annoyed. I didn’t have time to say more to him. Harper and Madison went on about how they were shocked about how I didn’t think Noah was looking fine and I tried to ignore them. When I got into my car, I didn’t bother turning on some music. ~~~ NORMAN I pulled into the full parking lot and drove around the school looking for a spot. After 10 minutes of circling around, I finally found an open spot. I checked my watch, 7:55, meaning I had 5 minutes until the kids would start class. As I was scoping out any threats to my plan, I noticed a girl rushing towards the door. She looked very familiar, after a moment of silence and thought it came to me that it was the girl from the diner. She was the one on the end with those 2 other girls. My thoughts were interrupted with the classic beep-beep, beep-beep of my digital watch. This alarm meant that school had started already and that my plans were underway. I opened the trunk and admired my weapon for a few seconds. As I walked in, I noticed the horrific stench of drama and sweat through the air, just as I remember 4 years prior. I walked past the 1st classroom and peeked through the window. As usual, the teacher was trying to quiet the class down and was not being very successful. I walked into the bathroom to put down my bag. I opened it and there it was, I picked it up and stared into it, almost hypnotizing me. I admired it, twisting and turning it in my hands, taking notice of every groove and ridge on it. I put my gun over my shoulder and walked out of the bathroom. As I walked down the hall I stopped, noticing a security guard walking past me. I quickly turned and stood behind a wall. After he passed I walked to the classroom. I opened the door and walked in and immediately there were horrific shrieks. I took a deep breath, and let my instincts take over. I placed my finger on the cold, dark metal and pulled the trigger. ~~~ EMILY “Alright students, yesterday I assigned you to read chapters 16 through 18 of The Grapes of Wrath. Please take out your summaries,” said Ms. Beckett. The sound of rustling papers was interrupted by a beep. “Teachers, reminder that we have a staff meeting today at 2:45.” called our principal on the intercom. My heart stopped. That was the code our school had for a lock down. I dropped my pencil on my desk and got into the corner of the room, far from any windows and pulled my knees to my chest. Ms. Beckett, whispered, “Students, this is just a drill. Stay still and be quiet.” She goes to the door locks it and switches off the lights. I breathed in and out, grabbing my knees tightly. Sitting next to me, was Brandon Smith. He delicately placed his warm hands on mine and said, “It’s ok.” I nod my head, showing that I had heard him. Then the sound of gunshots filled my ears. We all jump, gasping. My heart beats, faster and faster. It picks up pace, like a hungry cheetah after it’s prey. I heard the screams of students in classrooms surrounding us. I shut my eyes tight and covered my ears. I felt a scream build up in my throat, but I bit down on my tongue to hold it back. I turned and look at Brandon. He always was strong and he seemed to not fear anything, but when I looked into his eyes, the only thing I saw was fright. I heard hushed crying from another group of people across the dark room. Brandon was whispering in my ear something like ‘Shhh, it’s going to be ok.’ I firmly held him close to me, hoping that if I cling to him tight enough, that this nightmare might go away. ~~~ NORMAN I opened my eyes and took a deep breath, adrenaline and excitement pumping through my veins. I looked to the right end of the classroom and noticed a huddle swarming around a pair of legs. I walked towards the bunch and spotted a pool of blood under a boy about my age. His once blue shirt was now stained with a dark purple splat across his chest. I turned back around and counted the students in the class. I counted 23 plus the teacher in the classroom. I looked out the crack of the door and saw 2 teachers calling the police. I turned back towards the students. “Everybody stay calm and quiet down please,” I heard mumbling throughout the classroom until a redhead stood up and said, “Why should we be quiet when you just shot 2 of our classmates?” she asked, her face red from tears. “Trish, shut up before you get yourself shot!” said a muscular boy in the corner. “I will not be shooting anybody, unless absolutely necessary,” I said attempting to reassure them. “You’re a lunatic,” said a feminine voice from the middle of all the students. “What was that?” I said gritting my teeth. “I said you are a lunatic,” the girl said. This time standing up to approach me. I raised my gun, trying to send her back. She kept on charging towards me. Again, I shot. All the mumbling stopped and the girl dropped to the floor, dead. A scrawny boy came out from behind 2 people and rushed to the girl. He tilts his head, leaning it against her chest, listening for her heart. He started to cry, almost disappearing into a puddle of tears. Another boy looked towards me and began to curse. “Now, I want everybody to stand against the wall or you will have a similar fate as your friend here,” I said pointing down at the girl lying in a pool of her own blood. Everybody moved back to the wall and layed the girl in the corner. I opened the door and made my way to the next classroom. ~~~ EMILY The sound of gunshots became so familiar to me. I sat there for what felt like hours, listening to sobs and having absolutely no feeling in my body. The rustling of a door knob broke me from my daze and my eyes grew wide. I leaned in closer to the wall, holding on to Brandon has hard as I could. I knew that I must be hurting him, but I didn’t care. “Guys, it’s me, Mr. Browne. I am here to get you out,” he said, his voice shaking. Then, the door slowly opened and I did not see Mr. Browne like we had expected. We saw a young man holding a rifle over his shoulder. He had messy brown hair with broad shoulders and high cheekbones. Slowly, his eyes went across everyone, stopping at me. He raised eyebrows, looking me up and down. I quickly looked away and I stared at my feet, not daring to spend one more second looking at the man who just brutally murdered my classmates. “Everyone against the wall.” he said to us, using his gun to point to the wall. Slowly, we stood up, our hands shaking with fear. I gripped Brandon’s arm tight as we made our way to the back of the room. We all stood with our backs against the wall, waiting for the silence to end. “Why are you doing this?” whispered Caroline, her lip quivering as she stared into his eyes. “What have we ever done to you?” I heard the sound of him cocking his gun, firing straight at her and her body falling to the ground. I gasped, my eyes widening. A lump began to grow in my throat. The thick, dark red liquid slowly oozed out of her wound. I quickly looked away, burying my face into Brandon’s chest, trying to forget what I just witnessed. ~~~ NORMAN I made my way towards the classroom, soon realizing that they would not let me in under these conditions. Luckily a teacher was across the hall. I approached him and he immediately put his hands up. “What do you want from me?” he asked, his eyes glistening with tears. “I just need you to open that door,” I said as I nodded towards the door. “Alright,” he said as he tried to pull himself together. He walked to the door and pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. He opened the door and I pushed him aside. “Everyone against the wall,” I told the kids. I scanned the room and I noticed someone I thought I recognized. I studied her and noticed she was the girl at the diner with the exquisite green eyes. I looked away not to make it noticeable that I had identified her. I turned around and noticed the board. It’s funny that they still teach the same trash here like they did 4 years ago. “Why are you doing this? What have we ever done to you?” a girl with blonde hair asked me. She was staring deep into my eyes, almost like she was uncovering each and every one of the secrets I kept. Not wanting to deal with another unruly child, I shot her square in the chest and made my way to the next classroom. ~~~ EMILY The light from my phone lit my face as I sloppily tried to type my mom a text. 9:16 am - ME ‘Mom there is an active shooter in school. Im safe. I love u’ 9:17 am - MOM ‘Be strong and stay safe Em. I love you too. I called the police. They are on their way. 9:17 am - ME ‘Thank you. Mom I cant stop shaking. I am so scared.’ 9:18 am - MOM ‘You are the strongest person I know. You will survive.’ 9:19 am - ME ‘I love you mom.’ I swiftly turned off my phone and returned it to my pocket. I hoped and prayed that the police would show up soon. I felt stupid just sitting here, not doing anything. Some of my classmates just died and I am not doing anything. “Brandon, we need to do something,” I softly whispered. “Emily, there is not much we can do,” he said. “We need to do something. We can’t just sit here waiting for someone to come and help us,” I said. “It’s dangerous.” “Well, so is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, but that didn’t stop Charles Lindbergh,” I said smartly. “You really are as stubborn as a mule,” he said as he lightly chuckled. “So, what do you think we should do?” “Here’s what I have in mind.” ~~~ “You want us to not wait for the police, walk out of the class while there is an active shooter in our school?! Are you nuts?!” said Sofia, shaking her head. “I don’t know about you Sofia, but I’m with Emily. I can’t just sit here, waiting for someone to rescue me.” said Henry. “Sofia you can stay here, but all six of us,” I said pointing to Henry, Brandon, Mia, Hunter, Owen and I, “are going to get out of here and get some help, right guys?!” “Right!” they said in unison. “One more time, Hunter, you go first and carry Caroline. The rest of you go behind them, stay close together. Brandon and I will be in the back. Got it?” “Yes.” they said proudly. “Let’s move.” ~~~ NORMAN I walked to the next classroom, up the stairs. Immediately I sensed the smell of sweat and vomit. I looked to the corner where there was a girl drowning in her own stench and sorrow. There are sobs and screams all over the room. I walked around and I plopped in the teacher’s seat. As I was extending my legs, I bumped into something. I looked below the desk and there was a 18 year old boy shaking and rocking, like a baby curled up in his crib. I kicked him and pointed towards the wall. He grumbled and followed my directions. As the sobs started to settle, I heard a bang coming from downstairs. I rushed down towards the lockers and saw a crowd of students running. I pulled up my gun and pulled the trigger. “MIA!” the girl with the green eyes shouted at the top of her lungs. The girl tried to crawl and turn the corner, but I ran up to her to confirm my kill. I aimed my gun at her and with a low, raspy voice she said, “Why?” “Because,” and with that I pulled the trigger. I watched the life leave her cold and still body as I slowly walked away. I turned around and saw 2 people standing trying to block my passage and of course it was the girl from the diner with her “boyfriend.” Then, it was silent. So silent, that it was ringing in my ears. The ringing was so loud. The loudest silence I had ever heard. “Why?” the girl asked. “Why are you doing this?” the boy asked. “It’s not important,” I replied. The girl stepped up now trying to size me up. “Can you please let us go?” she asked, her green eyes shimmering under the hallway light. “I will spare the boy, but I think it is time we talked.” I then heard the sirens of the police cars approaching. “There’s no time to talk,” she said gesturing towards the squad cars, “but I do have one question for you,” she said. “And what might that be?” I responded. “Why did you do all of this?” moving her hands in the air pointing to the school. “Well--” I started to say, but my body was thrown to the ground and everything went black. ~~~ EMILY Henry was carrying Caroline, her cold legs draped over his right arm. He turned around to me and I held my finger up to my lips. He nodded his head and continued to walk. I looked to the side and gave Brandon a thumbs up. Suddenly I heard a loud slam against a locker. My eyes widened as I turned to look at Henry. He cursed under his breath as he ran as quickly and quietly as he could out the door. “Run, run as fast as you can!” I whispered to the rest of them. I inhaled sharply as someone behind me fired a gun. “MIA!” I shrieked as my hands flew to my mouth. Again, he aimed his gun at her, but he hesitated. “Why?” she muttered to him. “Because,” he said, pulling the trigger. After this whole time of holding in these tears, I let out a deep, heavy sob. The man turned around and he stared at us, and we stared back. Is this it? I thought to myself. Is this the end? Breaking the silence I said, “Why?” “Why are you doing this?” Brandon asked. “It’s not important,” he said to us with an evil smirk spread across his face. “Can you please let us go?” I said, begging him to spare our lives. “I will spare you, but I think it is time we talked.” he said. Talk about what I thought to myself. Then, the sound of sirens filled my ears. “There’s no time to talk,” I said, looking at the squad cars outside our school, “but I do have one question for you.” “And what might that be?” he responded. I shut my eyes, recalling everything that I just witnessed today. “Why did you do all of this?” I asked. “Well--” he started to say before an officer slammed him down to the ground, knocking him out. They dragged him out and threw him into a police car. They escorted us out, asking to stay for awhile to be questioned. As we walked outside, I exhaled deeply. I felt like I hadn’t taken one breath all day. My thoughts were interrupted by a soft rumble of a car. I turned and saw a Prius approaching a parking spot. I nearly tripped as I sprinted towards the car. She jumped out, almost breaking the door. I ran into my mother's arms and for the first time that day, I felt safe. ~~~ EMILY 1 year later… I sit in my car, pondering whether or not I should enter the building standing right in front of me. As I steadily got out of my car, I replay all the memories from that day. I remember eating pancakes with my dear friends Harper and Madison. I remember the Grapes of Wrath assignment that Ms. Beckett assigned us. I remember Caroline and her blonde hair that glistened in the sun like gold. I remember Mia and her exquisite blue eyes. I let the memories flow through my head like a river washing over me. I open the door and a man is sitting at the desk talking on the phone. “One moment please,” he says, smiling. Once he was done with his call, he looked up to me. “How can I help you miss?” he asks. “I would like to visit someone.” I say “Who?” “Norman Edwards.” I say almost cringing. The name tastes like bile on my tongue. He inhales sharply as he gets up to lead me the way. He uses a badge to open a locked door. We walk down a narrow hallway with tile floor and concrete walls. I steady my shaking against the side of my face. He stops at a door, moving out of the way so I can go in. I see a row of chairs with phones hanging on a wall next to them. I sit down in an open one, waiting for him. I stare at my feet until I hear the sound of chains being dragged against the floor. I slowly look up and see him. His once blue eyes are now red, and his skin as pale as death. Fits him well I thought to myself. He sat down in the chair, staring into my eyes. “Who are you?” he asked. I take a deep breath in and say, “I am Emily Wilson and I am a survivor of the Rockland School Shooting.”