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Hello There
Author's note:
Inspiration? Simple. I'm one of those quiet and extremely shy introverts in public or school, therefore I'm a natural observer. I've seen how society and people will act, and the funny thing is, I felt connected to it all as I would always think too much about some of the smallest things. Life isn't easy, and things will happen and go terribly wrong, but what's life without fear? How do you keep going if you let your mind become what people fear...including yourself? I just started writing words and "Hello There" became that little thing for me to think so much of.
Hello,
"My name is regret." Or so the simple song lyrics go. In actuality my name is Clark Briars. Of course most of you who read this will understand what I'm explaining, and well; most of you won't even know where to begin. Simply because you would have never thought anything was wrong with me. Or you just never looked twice about me.
I guess I lied though. My name isn't even close to being regret, as it is ashamed of myself. Especially for even writing this and possibly causing more damage than this is done.
I'm just scared. So very scared. So very scared that I'm so set on this very mindset I have right now. These thoughts that I can't hide anymore. The screams that have been recycling all throughout my eyes and not a damn person cared to try except one single person. And that one single person very well knows that this letter is revolved around them as well.
I'm devastated for you all. Except her.
All I can do now is silently weep, if anyone saw me crying...I'd be thought of as Gay, which if you knew me well enough I could never be, although I thought I was. Actually, my sincerest apologies to Travis. A friend that I guess I've wronged as well. I hope you find another male who will treat you right, and I'm sorry you ever got pulled into this mess, this mess that belongs to her.
More importantly I'd be thought of as weak right, or a sap, or even some pathetic nerd with no life. That's what labels do to you. But my story went to deep for me to even explain in this departure. That's the final thing. "With no life" that'll be the exact description in short time.
I have nothing more to say, other than...
Alora, I hope your happy.
~Clark
____________________________________________________
1. Dumb*ss
-Clark-
"I don't really see why this is necessary poppy. I mean it's just a highs cool. Yeah this isn't Clifton height or the town itself, but ill live right?" I couldn't believe my own words. So how could I be placing my unnerved issues upon my golden retriever. Of course I let out the usual sigh of defeat, slowly picking myself up off the floor. I stood in from of the lengthily mirror which hung off the back of my door, staring at the clothes I had worn to bed the night before. This grey tee shirt was now wrinkled, while its paired sweats hung loose around my hips as if they would fall any moment. My hair on the other hand seemed alright to me. A little bead head never hurt anyone. Ruffling strands of locks, my feet found themselves to the bathroom down the hall of the second floor. Poppy, whom I give the title of my right hand man...well lady? She followed in tow.
A quick 15 minute shower at 5:30 in the morning helped to determine how I'd take the day on. Survive, stay away from everyone and anyone, get home and sleep in my confinement a I call a room. I was busy towel drying my hair back to the mess it had been when I woke up as the daily activity was now being heard throughout the house. Delilah's alarm could be heard blaring some type if Greyson chance music. Then again she was only 13 so I didn't really have a right to judge...being practically 17, well in June of this year. As it stood, I was still 16 on this fine October day. The 20th to be exact.
Once the bathroom was now left clear, I made my way back to my safe zone and shut the door to change. I wouldn't want to be walking around in this towel all day. That would be worse than when I lost my swim trunks in the sea when I was 12. The horror is still there. A black tee shirt, black jeans, and a red plaid would have to be acceptable for today as a first impression. Plus it was the only thing left that was clean. Laundry was desperately needed to be done by now. I laced up some worn converse and quickly jogged down the hall to Delilah's room. Mum obviously left for work early again and I was left to shutup the damn tween girls pop music at now 6:00 am. My head was thanking my own actions when the silence returned. Now the new task to complete was dealing with getting my oh so sweet sibling up and ready for her first day at this new place...even though technically we're into what? The second month of classes now.
"Delilah, hey bubblegum. FishFace. Porcupine." I kept calling her by the nicknames I had dubbed her with. No response. "Hey dumb*ss!?" I but my tongue and poked her face. I was met with a foot to my face before the rest of my sister met with the floor. I couldn't help but laugh my ass off. Even if I would be walking around with a red mark on my face from that kick now.
"Don't call me a dumb*ss, dumb*ss." Her morning voice groaned from down under. "You're 13, don't swear." I scolded and stood up from her bed, that typical girl bed that was decorated with pink sheets and a comforter with her tween idols face on it. Like One Direction. Eww No! Burn it I say! Burn it! Nah, I'm only kidding myself. My sister may be a pain but I do respect her.
"Just get out and go make me some waffles" she demanded now standing straight to face me. "Only if you get moving and get ready, wouldn't want to disappoint mom now would we?" It was clear neither of us wanted that, and we didn't need it either at this moment.
__________
"Do you think mum will be home for dinner tonight?" I heard Delilah's question as I cleared the counter from our dishes. I gave no response as I grabbed the spare car's keys from the cabinet. "Earth to Clark!" A small hand was currently being waved back and forth in front of my face.
I shook my head and slapped her Han away like a sissy. "Stop that, you might slap me buttface." She only took that as her que to ask again. "Do you think mum will be home for dinner?" This time she was more impatient as I ushered her away and past the island counter for the front door. "Come on grab your bag, we need to get a move on now! It's already 7:05." I muttered as I locked the door. I tossed my bag to the passenger seat of the silver Toyota as Delilah took residence in the back. "And about tonight." I paused with a sigh as I began to pull out from the drive, where we'd both learn to call this place a home. "I can't say. You know with mums planning business you can't really tell." And it was the truth. We had been in Arizona recently where the companies first business was;Chalottes lifestyle. 5 years later its bigger than it ever was before. Now we're here in Los Angeles. "Yeah, I know. Just thought she might have told you something before she left." I could hear the let down in her voice.
The silence wasn't natural with us two, and it had only been 5 minutes. I decided to make it now my job to keep our moods up for the rest of the day. "Hey! Remember the Daley's? The young couple mum is working with the next two weeks with on their wedding reception?" I brought up. I saw the eagerness in Delilah's eyes through the rear view mirror. She absolutely loved Miss.Cindy Clovern. Whom was the soon to be Mrs.Daley of Glenn Daley. Just a week before moving mum had taken Cindy along for the weekend out here to meet them for the cake testing. "Yeah! I just absolutely loved Cindy, she was very pretty!" Her gleeful personality was quickly showing. How long would it be until her colorful spontaneousness came along as well. "Don't you think so Clark?" Of course when Delilah was in the zone, and some pretty girl was brought into the conversation, she knew where it would tie me up. I pulled into the school drive once I had waited long enough to answer. "She's lovely, but way out of my league. Considering she's engaged Delilah!"
"Anyways, I was going to remind you that their wedding date is November 3rd." She only nodded with a knowing smile. She knew I had more to say. "Which we've nicely been given an invitation to as of the night before." Her squeals almost became to much to handle as I got out of the car and left her to the happiness for about thirty more seconds. "Alright that's enough, I don't want to be late and I still need to get you into the middle school here in one piece.
They had a buddy system worked out for Delilah once I walked her into the main office. If be lying if I wasn't a bit over protective once I saw that her buddy for today was a boy, with nice hair if I may say so myself...I wasn't jealous or anything though. By the time I found a spot at Cyprus high and shut the car engine off, it was 7:30. I had 15 minutes, I mean the schedule did say first bell rang at 7:45.
With my bag over my back, the car locked, I turned to head into the building although I wish things could have gone smoother.
"Dumb*ss!" I heard screamed in my ear, after a shooting pain faded from the front of my head. "Look what you did!? Now my notebooks are going to be covered in parking lot dirt!" The honey colored hair female said my way. I had no time to apologize as she ran off hastily, brushing off her books.
"Sorry?" The phrase was more like a question to me now as my feet led my less than thrilled body for the doors. Lets hope I wouldn't run into her again. She might slap me with one of her dirt defied notebooks.
___________________________________
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