“I’m sorry,” Jessie mumbled, helping me open the door to my room as I struggled with my crutches. It had been a week since the accident, and I still hadn’t gotten used to crutches. I’d only ever broken an arm before. People at school kept coming up to me to say how much they sympathized with me.

“It wasn’t your fault, Jessie.” I was told that a truck had failed to stop at red, resulting in it colliding with Jessie’s car. I plopped down on my bed, sighing. “You’re lucky you got out of it unhurt,” I said, smiling at him. “You weren’t drinking, right?”

“Of course not!” Jessie scowled as I laughed. “It wasn’t my fault.” He said it like he was trying to convince himself.

There was a knock at my door and my mother popped her head into my room, looking around. “Dinner.” She moved from the door to the closet and I walked to the dinner table with Jessie. My mom grabbed her purse and coat, leaving for an “emergency at work”. She’d only set one plate, and I started to complain about how this wasn’t enough for two people, but she shut the door behind her, leaving me half finished.

Jessie and I shared the italian food and I complained the whole time about her forgetting she had two growing, teenage boys.

“You’re going to go see Chloe tomorrow?” Jessie asked as I ate the microwavable pasta.

“Yeah.” I smiled at the thought.

“Did she bring up the car accident when you called her?”

“No,” I sighed. “She has no idea. She’s going to be so disappointed when she finds out I can’t play soccer anymore.” I rubbed my forehead, feeling the beginning of a headache appearing underneath my skull.

Chloe and I had met at the park when I was playing soccer with a couple friends. We stopped mid-game, distracted by a girl who was taking photos of us from afar. Chloe hadn’t been discreet about it. Someone asked her to delete them, and she refused because she was entering one in a contest. “Besides,” she’d said, “I only took a couple pictures of him.” She pointed at me. “You look good playing soccer. You must really enjoy it.” After that, she won first place and, without me asking for it, gave me a portion of the prize money. We became good friends and after three months started dating.

Jessie washed the plate and I blabbered on about Chloe’s cluelessness as he finished up. “You like that about her,” he said, giving me a grin.

I tried not to smile back. “Yeah. I guess so.”

Jessie handed me pain pills, and I realized I had my hand pressed against my forehead. He walked to his room, wiping his hands on his pants. “Have fun tomorrow.”

At the park the next day, I found Chloe leaned over a daisy, her camera held in front of her face. Her crimson-colored hair was tied back in a ponytail and her fair skin was tanned from being outside so much. I limped to her, but she still didn’t look up. I watched her face for a long moment, smiling at how oblivious she was to everything else around her. “Chloe,” I whispered, leaning closer to her ear. She flinched and laughed when she saw me.

“How long have you been there?” she asked, pressing a hand against her chest to feel her heartbeat.

“Before that, give me a kiss.” I lifted her chin towards me, but she pulled away, shocked to see me in crutches.

“What happened to you?” She helped me to the bench as I pouted over not getting kissed.

“Just a car crash-”

“Just a car crash?” She gave me an incredulous look. “Are you okay? Was it bad?”

“Well…” I began. “The car was totaled. And I can’t play soccer anymore.”

“Ever?”

“It’s unlikely that my leg will go back to how it was. That’s what the doctor said. You didn’t see us on the news?”

She frowned. “Is Jessie okay?”

“Totally fine. Not a single injury.” I leaned on her shoulder. “How’d you know he was with me?”

“You guys are always together,” she replied, running her fingers through my brown hair. She sighed. “I’m going to miss seeing you play soccer.”

“Me too.” I lifted my head and kissed her softly. “But there are worse things.”

When I got back home, Jessie was sitting on the couch, his chin on his knees. He was staring at the black screen of the T.V, mumbling to himself. “Jess?” I leaned closer to him, worried.

“I’m okay… Okay…” he whispered. I remembered something horrible and felt momentarily nauseous as Jessie blinked, surprised. “Oh? Hi, Aiden. How’d the date go?”

“Fine…” I started to ask if he was okay, then decided against it. “What did you do all day?” My head started to hurt again.

“Nothing. Watched T.V.” We both looked at the television. He laughed. “Well, I turned it off a while ago.”

The front door opened and my dad walked inside, bags under his eyes. “Hey, dad,” I greeted and he gave me an emotionless smile.

“Hey, Aiden.” He rubbed his temples, like he had a headache. “Can you bring me some pain pills? It’s been a long day.”

“Sure thing.” I watched him enter his room. I turned to the cupboard. Then, I looked at my cast. This was going to be a challenge. Why hadn’t he asked Jessie? I stared at my twin brother, who only differed from me in personality and the scar in his eyebrow. Neither my mom or my dad had acknowledged him recently. Could they be blaming him for the car accident?

I stayed up late that night, wondering. It wasn’t Jessie’s fault, there was no way my parents didn’t realize that. I was the one who had been drunk. It was the other driver that ran a red light. Jessie had been acting strange, too. Was he feeling guilty? He’d been apologizing everyday, everytime I mentioned soccer or tripped over my feet.

My phone rang and I reached over to my desk to pick it up, but my cast stuck and I fell. My head hit the edge of the desk and I let out a whimper of pain. I looked at my phone screen, pressing a hand against my injury. “Ouch…” I saw it was Chloe. “Hello?”

“Hey, Aiden… Did I wake you?” she asked and I paused, letting her voice calm me down.

“No. What’s up?”

“I looked up the news article on you and Jessie…” she explained. I noticed her voice was shaking and I sat up in bed. “I know it must be wrong, but it says… that Jessie…”

“Aiden…” Jessie entered my room, clutching at his head. “My head hurts.”

“Jess?” I gestured him closer. Jessie walked towards me, but stopped suddenly. “Jessie? What’s wrong?”

“Ow… Ow! Ow!” He fell on his knees, pressing his hands against his forehead. “It hurts!”

“I have to go, Chloe,” I said into the phone and hung up. I rushed over to my brother and tried to help him stand up. “It’ll be oka-” Blood dripped down the side of his face and I stopped breathing. Jessie looked at his hands, covered in red.

“Mom!” I ran out of my room in a blur, throwing open the door to my parents’ room. “Dad!” They sat up, disoriented and gave me confused expressions. “Jessie… Jessie’s bleeding. Hospital… We have to…” I couldn’t breathe. “Hospital…”

“Aiden, calm down.” My dad got out of bed and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Calm down.”

“But, Jessie…”

My parents exchanged a worried look. “Aiden… Sit down.” My dad lead me to the couch and I glanced over to my room.

“Jessie’s…”

“Aiden… Listen carefully…” My dad took a deep breath as my mom put a glass of water in front of me. His lips began to move, but no sound came out.

“What?”

“Aiden, the car accident…” My mom grabbed my hand, tears in her eyes. “It was really bad…”

“What are you saying?” I asked, quietly.

“Jessie…” Again, her lips moved, but I didn’t hear anything. I couldn’t hear her. I stared at her, blankly. “Did you hear me?” she asked, gently.

“I don’t understand what’s happening…”

“Aiden…” My dad began, and I watched him begin to cry. Shock brought clarity to my ears. “Jessie didn’t… didn’t make it.”

“Huh?”

“Jessie didn’t survive the crash…”

“But… He was fine. He came out uninjured… He’s in my room.” I stood up and opened the door to my bedroom, but Jessie wasn’t in there. “Jess? Jessie?” Tears travelled down my face and I wiped my eyes when my vision began to blur. “Jessie!” I turned, running into Jessie’s room, but it looked untouched. His bed was made, his video games were neatly placed in the shelf, his notebooks were piled up on his desk in plain sight. He always hid them, so no one could read them. “Jessie!” I yelled, dread making my knees go weak. “Jessie. Where are you?”

My dad tried to grab my arm, but I pulled away, screaming, “You’re lying! It’s not true!” I went into my room, grabbed my phone, and started dialing Chloe’s number.

“Aiden, sit down. Let’s talk-” My mother started as I pushed past her, going for the door.

“I have to find Jessie,” I mumbled, knowing they weren’t telling the truth. I couldn’t have been hallucinating this entire time. I wasn’t crazy. I couldn’t be crazy.

I slammed the front door behind me as Chloe picked up the phone. My heart felt heavy and I put my phone to my ear, readying myself. Chloe always made things better. She would this time too. “Chloe? What did the news article say?” There was a long pause and I added, “Jessie isn’t dead, right?” I pressed my hand against my head, feeling pain again.

I heard her take a breath, start to say something, then stop. She didn’t say anything. I sat down on the steps, unable to silence my sobs.Why wasn’t she telling me it wasn’t true? I looked at my hand, feeling something cold and wet. Blood was smeared across palm. I touched my forehead. I was bleeding. It wasn’t Jessie. It was me.

Aiden,” Dr. Jones said, softly as I stared into space, trying to remember the car crash and what had happened to Jessie. “Aiden, can you hear me?” My parents sat on the couch beside mine and I got the feeling that they’d been waiting for me to respond for a while now. I noticed the walls in this room were green. I’d heard somewhere that green walls were supposed to be calming. “Aiden, you went to Jessie’s funeral. Don’t you remember that?”

I wasn’t sure who was talking to me- my parents or Dr. Jones- but I brought my attention to them, my knee starting to hurt. I’d gotten my cast off a week ago. The injury had left an ugly scar that I hated seeing. It made me remember Jessie’s bloodied face.

“Funeral?” I asked, my mind turning to Jessie’s notebooks, sitting in his empty room. I wanted to read them, all of a sudden.

“Jessie’s funeral,” Dr. Jones clarified and I cringed at the thought. The image of black suits, people crying, and a coffin flashed in my eyes and for a moment I was blind to everything except the memory of a face identical to mine, eyes closed and face pale.

“Aiden?” Dr. Jones leaned forward. “What are you feeling?”

“My head hurts,” I answered, quietly.

He paused and leaned back again. “Does it hurt often?”

“It never stops.”

I tried to push away the memory of Jessie’s bloodied face- of him trying hard to hide his pain. “I’m okay,” he’d repeat. “I’m okay… I’m alright… Don’t cry. I’m right here. I’m right here.” He said it while on the brink of death- he said it while worrying more for me than himself, even with his head cut open and his vision starting to darken.

It must’ve been true what they said about twins being able to sense each other’s pain. My head felt like it’d explode, even now.

I couldn’t ever remember the ride back from my counseling appointments. I’d enter the car, and my brain would switch off, automatically bringing me back to the time of my childhood, where Jessie frequented. I remembered how I pushed Jessie off the swing at the park once, and that had somehow resulted in a gash on his forehead, close to his eye. That’s where the scar in his eyebrow came from. He’d brought it up in every argument since then, to remind me of my unforgettable mistake. It wasn’t until Andrea from science told him how attractive it was that he stopped holding it against me.

As I walked onto the front porch, I realized I was touching my eyebrow, and felt a sense of emptiness when I couldn’t feel a scar. I started towards my room, but stopped and walked into Jessie’s room instead. I saw his notebooks sitting on his desk.

I stared at them for a long time as thoughts swirled through my head. I walked closer, walked away, walked back, opened the front cover, closed the front cover, and walked back to the bedroom door.

The sound of a girl’s voice caught my attention and I entered the living room, where Chloe stood at the front door, talking to my mother. Sadness and relief washed over me, seeing her, and I started crying. She turned her pretty eyes towards me and I seized her in a hug before she could say another word. I’d been avoiding her, but now I wasn’t even sure why.

“Sorry…” I mumbled in her ear.

She sniffled and laughed, very softly. “Dummy.”

Chloe picked up Jessie’s notebooks and sat down next to me on Jessie’s bed. She put one on my lap, but I didn’t move.

“Chloe,” I said, slowly. “Jessie’s not here anymore.”

“He’s not…” She sounded like she was crying.

“He wanted to be a writer, you know? But he never let anyone read any of his stuff.” I ran my hands over the paper cover. “He never got to put his name out there.”

Chloe held my hand and nodded, understandingly. I opened the first page. My mind cleared for a moment, seeing the title of Jessie’s unfinished story. “New Beginnings.”

“I’m going to finish it,” I said. Chloe only looked at me, curiously. “I’m going to make sure his dream comes true.”

She nodded again and handed me the pen sitting on the desk. I took it, feeling a weight lift off my chest as another pressed on my shoulders. “Jessie, I’m beginning again.”