"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, I introduce to you the beautiful, the graceful, the unbelievable JEEEEEEEESMAAAY THE LIIION TAMER!!"
My eyes flew open as I woke up with a start. The tent was dark except for the faint glow of the moon. Everyone else seemed to be sound asleep. I crawled out of bed and pulled my over large boots on over two pairs of itchy socks.
"Jess, what are you doing?" I looked up, searching the room for the source of the voice.
"I'm just going for a walk."
"You hate going for walks." It became apparent to me that I was speaking with Peter, the overbearing right hand man to the manager of the circus. His nasally voice and bossy tone left little room for doubt.
"Well maybe I've changed my opinion." I stomped out of the gent while pulling on my thick, wool coat. I could hear him stumbling after me. "Would you just leave me alone?"
"I want to know where you're going."
"It's none of your business," I snapped.
"It is too! I'm the..."
"I don't care! You could be the king of Persia and I still wouldn't care! Just let me be, Peter." I could hear his wheezy breaths somewhere behind me. He wasn't giving up. I set off at a gentle run knowing that he was too out of shape to follow me for long. After weaving in and out of the tents and booths, Peter finally surrendered by dropping tone ground and panting like an old dog. Once he had started to huff and puff his way back to the sleeping tent I made for my true destination.
The damp grass was slipped under my feet. Walking wasn't made any easier by the thick fog that had descended over the circus and my cold, weak legs. It took me longer than usual to reach the big top since I had been forced to take a little detour. But, once inside of it, I gazed at the lights that twinkled like stars against the dark material that formed the massive dome. I tore my eyes away and focused on the far end of the massive tent where the garish animal cages were lined up in a semicircle. I tiptoed over to them, not wanting to disturb any of the creatures for fear that they might arouse the entire camp.
"Tiki," I whispered, tapping softly on the metal bars that separated me from my lion. "Tiki." He stirred, his large eyes observing me from the depths of his cage. "Hey buddy."
I reached into my deep coat pockets and produced an old, rusty key. The side door unlocked with a click and I swung it open slowly so he wouldn't be startled by the sudden movement. He simply laid in the corner, eyeing me lazily. "I had the same dream again tonight, Tiki," I whispered as I crawled across the straw covered floor. He looked at me curiously and I wondered for the millionth time if he could understand me. I stopped next to him, recalling the nightmare out loud.
"The ringmaster was announcing us and I came out, riding a silly little bicycle and wearing a pretty yellow dress I've never seen before. They opened your cage and you burst out, you fur rippling, your teeth bared in false anger. The crowd shrieked at the sight of you; you looked so ferocious. And then, just as they had settled down and we were beginning our first act, the entire tent burst into flames." I buried my face in his soft mane and listened to his steady breathing. "Why do I keep dreaming about this, Tiki? Is it a bad sign? Should I be worried?"
He purred as I ran my hands over his forehead. I closed my eyes and settled in beside him. His watermelon sized paw dropped casually onto my shoulder and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.


"I swear you're the craziest person I know." I blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the person standing outside of the metal bars. He was far too tall and thin to be Peter, but also too athletic looking to be the ringmaster.
"Jase," I mumbled sleepily.
"The one and only. Care to explain why you slept in a cage with a lion last night?"
"I couldn't sleep, I was having bad dreams."
"And this comforts you?"
"Yeah." I slid out from under Tiki's paw and crept back towards the door.
"You didn't even lock it!" Jase stared at me in disbelief as I clamber out of the cage and stretched, looking far too much like a certain large cat.
"Why bother? I would've woken up if he had moved."
"You really are crazy."
"Tell me something I don't know. Is that coffee?" He offered the steaming foam cup out to me with a charming smile. I snatched it greedily and took a careful sip. "Perfect." Jase shook his head and returned to picking up the general debris from last nights performance.
"Isn't that supposed to be someone else's job?"
"Yeah, but we're packing up early and no one else is awake yet so I figured I might as well make myself useful." I sat down on the ground and watched him work.
"You are a man of many talents." He wiggled his eyebrows, sending me into a short fit of giggles. "Why are we leaving early?" I asked when my laughter had subsided.
Jase shrugged and replied, "ringmaster probably wants to get to the next town sooner instead of later. You know how he is. We're always leaving at odd hours." I grunted, thinking back to all the times we had been dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn and, sometimes, earlier. Today was no exception. From what I could tell, the sun was just starting to rise above the picturesque hills.
"Earth to Jess," Jase called loudly.
"Eh?"
"I said you should go take a shower before we head out. You're covered in dirty straw and smell like a wild animal."
"Go figure," I replied sarcastically. "Thanks for the coffee."
"Anytime, little lion tamer."


The circus was on the road before most of the people in the sleepy, little town were even awake. We moved in a massive caravan of trailers and trucks that was almost a quarter of a mile long all lined up. I traveled in one of the many trailers with Jase, Phoebe the trapezest, Maxim our resident pyrotechnic, and Saundra the mysterious fortune teller. For the most part, Saundra kept to herself while the rest of us talked, but today she was feeling abnormally chatty and clairvoyant.
"I have been watching the outer world," she began in her slow, monotonous voice. Jase rolled his eyes at me; we all knew what was coming. "And I have detected something."
"Really?" Saundra must not have realized that Maxim was mocking her because she nodded gravely.
"Yes, Maxim," she continued. "I've detected something very large indeed; a disastrous event that will occur if we proceed to our current destination. We must turn back now or risk being lost forever."
"You must mean Peter! He's very large and has poor navigation skills." My companions laughed at Maxim's joke causing Saundra to retreat to the back of the trailer, fuming. I smiled along with them, but secretly I felt as if the air was being squeezed out of my lungs. Maybe Saundra was right for once and maybe this had something to do with my drams that were ending in a raging inferno.
Jase was the only one who noticed how distant I was for the rest of the trip. He continuously asked me if everything was okay and I did my best to give him short, vague answers. But by the time we had reached our final stop the next morning I was sick with worry. I didn't bother eating that night. Instead, I went straight to the big top where they had once more set the animal cages up and fell asleep beneath Tiki's protective paw once more.
"Rise and shine sleepy head, you've got a ton of work to do before the show tonight."
Jase aroused me with tea and croissants. "What could I possibly have to do?" I asked between bites of the delicious pastries.
"Margie has a new outfit she wants you to wear tonight and insists that hair and makeup will take at least two hours, the ringmaster has a new stunt he wants you to try out with your act, and Tiki is in desperate need of a bath."
"My costume and my act are fine," I protested.
"I know that but they don't. Hurry up or I'm going to have to spray you, too." He held up the hose that we used to wash Tiki menacingly and I surrendered.
I left Jase to clean Tiki since he was the only other person that could go near him with water and not lose a limb. As I crossed the field that we were currently camping in I saw Margie stomping out of her own tent.
"Vere ave you been? I ave been looking of you all morning long," she shouted to me, her voice heavily accented from her French heritage.
"Sorry, Margie, I slept in."
"Vat does zat matta now? Shoo, shoo! Ve ave vork to do!"
I was dragged into her cramped tent that constantly looked like a fabric store had exploded inside of it, no matter where we were. Margie bustled around, searching hopelessly through the mess until she pulled her measuring tale out triumphantly. She then forced me onto a pedestal that stood beside her old fashioned sewing machine and began taking my measurements.
"I don't really need a new outfit, Margie. Why don't you make a one for Maxim; something a little more showy and glamorous and a little less flammable."
"Because he looks vine, but you? You look ideous! Ze lilac zey ave put you in, it is not your colour, dear. I put you in somezing pearfect! I put you in ze colour your mama named you avter!"
"Jessamy? I didn't even know that was a color."
"Ah, but of courz it is, a beautivul colour vor a beautivul girl. You vill look radiant! Shoo, shoo," she demanded, pulling her measuring tape away as she pushed me towards the exit. "I need to vork now. You vill come back at five, yez?"
"But that's three hours before the show!"
"Exactly! Vone for drezing, two for hair and makeup. Shoo, shoo, yez?"
"Yes, Margie, I'll see you then." I slipped out of her tent feeling very ready for the day to be over already but it was far from. When I reentered the big top I was almost run over by the ever flustered and fuming Peter.
"Jessamy," he screeched hysterically. "I needed you an hour ago! Where have you been?"
"Not here, what do you need me for?"
"Not me, the ringmaster," he hissed. I almost laughed in his face. The ringmaster was everything Peter wasn't; laid back, and patient. Peter clamped his hand around my wrist and steered me into the center of the tent where the ringmaster stood waiting beside Tiki's cage. If I wasn't mistaken, he was reading Better Homes and Gardens but he tucked the magazine into his jacket before I could get a better look.
"Jessamy," he cried cheerfully. "Glad you're here, ready to get started?"
"Sure, but what am I supposed to be doing?"
"A new trick!" He was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. "It will go like this," he threw his arms out dramatically and focused his eyes on something no one else could see. "Just after you've finished your normal routine of taming the beast and riding on him I want you to jump off, okay? Then, while everyone's clapping because they think you're done, I will have Maxim light three rings of fire that Tiki will jump through with you on his back! It'll be fantastic! You'll be the star of the show!"
"I don't know, sir." Images of the big top burning to the ground flooded back to me, "I think Tiki is afraid of fire."
"Nonsense! We tried it while you were out this morning. He can jump through the hoops just fine under Jase's command, now we just need to see if he can do it with you on his back. Of course we won't light the rings on your first try, we'll see how the two of you do with just normal hoops, but then! Oh, Jessamy, with this stunt we could really top the charts. Set the rings up again for me, Peter."
While the ringmaster bounced back to the stands to watch, I lured Tiki out of his cage and mounted him. I patted his head reassuringly as Peter placed three large rings around us.
"Whenever you're ready, just say UP." I forced myself to smile at the ringmaster and squeezed Tiki's sides lightly. He set off at a trot, approaching the first ring.
"Up," I squeaked. The world seemed to slow down as Tiki leapt gracefully through the circle. I ducked my head but there was no need. We had done it perfectly. The next two rings went just as smoothly causing the ringmaster to stand up and cheer.
"Bravo, bravo! Peter, light the rings!" I watched in horror as the once harmless hoops burst into flames. "Go on, Jessamy. Three times around should be good." I squeezed Tiki's sides for the second time, trying not to focus on the glow of the flames.
"Up!" I felt the heat of the fire, but it did not burn. Tiki jumped just the same as he had done before, as if he didn't even see the flames licking the edges of the hoops.
By the time the ringmaster was satisfied with our performance it was almost five o'clock. I didn't dare keep Margie waiting again. After turning Tiki over to Jase, I made my way back to her tent.
"Margie, I'm here!" I passed through the folds of the tent and found her standing before her sewing machine.
"Tis done." Her plump face glowed with pride as she held my delicate, new garment out in front of her. I couldn't help feeling excited as I reached for it, but when I looked down the smile slid from my face.
"Margie," I whispered.
"I know! I know! Is too lovely for vords! You love, don't you?"
"Of course I do." I was lying. The dress was the color of a pale rising sun on a cold winter morning with a thin, citrine belt around the waist and edge. The bottom, frayed like an aged rug, stopped just above my knees. The material was silky and weightless, almost see-through in areas. It was the dress from my nightmare.
As I left the tent I held the dress away from me, trying to touch it as little as possible. I had barely escaped being forced into it immediately with the excuse of needing a shower. I wouldn't wear it, I couldn't wear it, but what choice did it have? If I didn't, I would break Margie's heart. Besides, it was just a stupid dream. There was no way it was the same dress. Or maybe Margie and I had both seen it somewhere else and that's why I had dreamed about it and she had made it for me. I decided that it had to have been that, there was no other solution. It was just a dream, after all.


At eight o'clock I stood outside of the big top, my long brown hair set in elegant curls that reached the belt of my jessamy dress. I could hear the crowd gasping and cheering for Maxim as he played with fire. I was the next act; the final act. I peeked through the curtains as he received one final round of applause. Jase was standing at the other end of the tent with his hand resting on the door of Tiki's cage. Then the ringmaster was announcing me.
"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, I introduce to you the beautiful, the graceful, the unbelievable JEEEEEEEESMAAAY THE LIIION TAMER!!"
It was routine, something I had done my whole life. The commanding voice and hand motions, the coy smiles I cast at the crowd when I tamed the raging lion, the thunder of hundreds of hands pounding together as I rode him in tight circles around the performing area. And then Maxim was there with the flaming rings. The crowd stared at the scene before the, eyes wide with disbelief as Tiki began to run.
"Up." I wasn't even aware of saying it.
"Up." Just once more.
"Up."
The crowd erupted into a frenzy of screams as we stood triumphant; the lion tamer and her beast. The fire seemed harmless to me now, mediocre like every other part of my act. I was a fearless star once more. I scanned the crowd of people searching for Jase's face. When I finally spotted him I beamed and he gave me a thumbs up.
The people began to move, heading in a steady stream towards the exit. The rest of the performers were undoubtedly standing outside, ready to meet their fans, but Tiki and I remained, watching them filter out.
"Jess!" I turned my head at the sound of Jase's voice. In the corner of my eye I saw a flash of light. I spun around on Tiki's back and stared wide-eyed at the scene before me. A hoop was on the ground and its flame was slowly beginning to devour the tent.
People were swarming to the exit like a stampede of animals, and Tiki and I were trapped in the center of it all. As the fire spread around us, we were forced to back into the center of the dirt floor. "Jase! Jase, help me!" I screamed wildly, but it was impossible to hear anything over the roaring of the fire. My breath became ragged as I gaged and chocked on the smoke.
"Jessamy!" I tried to open my eyes, to see if Jase was really calling me, but the smoke stung my eyes.
"Tiki," I rasped. "Up." My loyal lion bolted towards the flaming material and arched gracefully through a hole that had burned through the material. We landed roughly and Tiki slid to an unsteady halt, throwing me onto the hard earth.
"Jessamy." Jase was hoisting me into his arms and carrying me away from the smoke and flame.
"Tiki..."
"He's okay, Jessamy. Everyone's okay, they all got out just fine. Thank God you're safe." He laid me on the ground, bending over me. "Stay with me, Jess. Stay with us." Jase took my hand and placed it on the soft fur of a giant cat who purred when I rubbed the top of my head.
"Jase?"
"Yeah?"
"Remember when I said you were a man of many talents?"
"I do."
"Is one of your talents reading minds?"
"Might be."
"What am I thinking?"
"You're thinking that Saundra was actually right for once." I tried to laugh but it turned into a violent cough. "Shhh, shhh. It's okay, take some deep breaths."
"No more jokes."
He smirked down at me and whispered, "I can't make any promises." My eyes slid shut and my breathing slowed as my body relaxed in his arms. "Jess?" I looked at him through heavy eyelids and grinned at his nervous expression. He sighed with relief and pulled me closer. "Stay with me forever?"
I wrapped my arms around his neck and gently pressed my lips against his cheek. "I can't make any promises."