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Letters to Reunite
Dear Jason
“I know this feeling isn’t normal. I’m not supposed to feel this way, especially not about someone like you but I do. Don’t tell me that I have to move on when you know I can’t achieve the impossible. To me there are things in life that matter and things in life that I need to be alive. You’re something I need; everyday just passes by and forms another when I don’t have you. When I do have you, everyday is perfect, everyday is alive. I know that saying I can’t live without you sounds corny but it’s true. I really can’t live without you. I have tried so many times but day after day became the same. Being just friends doesn’t cure the longing I have for you, it makes it worse. I know that it’s going to be hard keeping it a secret but if you want...scratch that. If you need me like I need you, you would at least be prepared to try one last time before you give up all hope. We planned a future with a house, jobs, kids even though we were only kids ourselves. I knew that one day we will have the future that we want to have. I saw the way you looked at him and I didn’t see love in your eyes, I didn’t see that sparkle in your eyes which always happened when you looked at me. Your hands were meant to be held by mine, your lips were meant to be kissed by mine. Don’t you see we are meant to be together? From the very first time we kissed I knew that I could never want anyone as much as I want you. That night we spent together was perfect in every way and with you in my arms everything else just vanished. So be with me now. I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. We will always be close to each other and I’m never giving up.”
That’s all I ever wanted to hear you say... but it never came. After our first fight it was over. You left through the door and I would never know if you would return and say the words I wanted to hear so badly. I did not hear those fateful words because after you climbed into your car and sped away, I climbed into mine to start a new life. My name was Emily Gredden now it’s Emily Derton.
Many things have changed since that night. I lived in Central America, now I live in South Africa. I was married to you, now I’m married to you, now I’m married to Scott Derton. I use to live a life of luxury, now I live a life of peace. One thing that hasn’t changed though is my love of wild life. I went from a vet to the full crown owner of the Kruger National Park. Where I treated house dogs and cats I now treat lions and wild dogs. My dream to own a wolf has come true. In fact I not only own a wolf I own a whole pack.
You see before I came to South Africa I made a trip to Alaska fulfilling another one of my long term life goals. Upon arriving I accidentally injured a wolf along the way as I was driving in a storm. I rushed to the nearest house that I could find. For three hours in the car I thought the wolf had died and my heart broke. How could I have done such a thing? I couldn’t control my emotions and I wept. I finally found a house and inside was Scott Derton. Nature lover and vet. Scott and I worked together to cure the wolf which turned out to be alive. After six months of treatment, we located the wolf’s pack and dropped him off almost two miles from where they were situated and drove back home. Scott and I had started our own relationship during the six months and decided to make our perfect day even better. At half past five in the afternoon we got married and rushed home as we were both dying of need to be together. However we had a huge surprise waiting for us. The wolf we rescued was the pack leader and he had grown so fond of us that he moved his pack to us.
And so the excitement began. We took care of the little cubs being careful not to interfere with their mothers but making sure they didn’t die. Our barn had been built a month later and we moved the wolves from the house into the barn. The pack consisted of one male, five females and eight cubs. As the year passed and came to an end Scott and I decided that it was time for us to start a family filled with not just wolves but humans as well. We both started looking for jobs and when he suggested Central America I decided to tell him about my past. I told him about you and why I left America. After seeing the reason for my possible distress upon going back to my family and to you, he took a job in South Africa.
We moved with the wolf pack and a bought a very large house. Our house was the Kruger National Park. With an area of enclosed space for the wolves and enough space for the kids we were planning on having the Kruger National Park was perfect. I became the vet, taking care of all the animals alongside Scott. We were having a wonderful time but we weren’t having the kids we wanted to. Scott started to worry that it wouldn’t happen so we went to a doctor just to make sure that having children was possible. We took a few tests and two days later the doctor phoned. He sounded distressed and anxious and he asked us to come in immediately.
Scott and I had been married for two years and the news we were about o hear would test the bonds of our marriage further than ever before. We couldn’t have children... I was itching to know why. Where did the problem lie? More importantly was it in me or was it in Scott? But at the same time I didn’t want to know. The news shook me like an atomic bomb. Scott was dying and fast. The doctor predicted he had another four months to live if not less. We went home and I wept. For the second time in my life I was losing someone and for the first time it wasn’t you. The four months went by slowly with Scott’s health becoming worse every day. After the first month he could hardly walk, by the second month he was bedridden. The third month his arms and legs stopped working and as the end of the fourth month drew nearer I knew that it was his heart that would stop next. However, he lived and by the end of the fifth month Scott was able to walk and eat o his own. There was hope for us after all, or so I thought.
He died of heart failure at the end of his sixth month. He had lived an extra two months than what the doctors had predicted and it was called a miracle. But this couldn’t be a miracle for me. How can people walk around and laugh and carry on with their lives after the death of their partners? I was torn and at the end of what was supposed to be our third year... I wept.
One day I decided to write down and recall our lives together like I have recalled mine and Scott’s. From the moment we met till that fateful argument that sent my life spinning. I wrote down the story but there are a few things I couldn’t recall and a few spaces I need you to fill in for me. Attached to this note is our life from the day we met till the day we said our goodbye.
Love
Emily
I have to admit that the day we first met is somewhat a blur in my mind. But it would be expected because my feelings for you did not develop till much later in our lives. The day I do remember is the first time you hugged me. It sent shivers down my spine and it made my heart and soul soar. But I also couldn’t stay away from you because I knew it would arouse suspicion as we were becoming great friends. I repressed my feelings till the first night I slept over at your house. Your mom was out, we had laid mattresses on the floor and we were watching tv. I couldn’t stop myself from hugging you and your scent made my mind lose all sense of reason. Your mom came back and I instantly moved away. She went to bed and said goodnight and as she went my hand slipped into yours under the blanket. But to my surprise your fingers interlocked with mine and as I let go to hug you, you hugged back. I didn’t let go after the hug but you didn’t want me to and you put your arm around me.
The movie was still playing but I couldn’t concentrate, I didn’t want to concentrate, on anything but you. I moved my face closer to yours and my nose touched your cheek. You turned to face me and then... we kissed. A passionate kiss that lasted for what felt like seconds and then another and another. By the time we first stopped your body was pressed against mine. You broke away and started straight into my eyes. You always said you knew at that moment that you wanted me but I only knew later. As I started falling asleep in your arms, I realized, we were meant to be.
The next morning I was a wreck. I was actually dating someone else and what we did was totally wrong. I denied it ever happened. We had an argument about it and we were both furious. I swore that it would never happen again and that was final, or so I thought. The next time I came over we both knew it was going to happen again even though I denied it. We kissed again and you told me that if I didn’t want this we should stop. The truth was I didn’t know if I wanted it or not but it felt right. But I couldn’t say how I felt and we stopped for an hour or so. My need for you, once again become too much for me to handle and I kissed you more passionately than ever before. After four hours I fell asleep in your arms.
This is where I hit another blank I couldn’t remember when we started dating but I do remember that by the next time I came to visit we were dating and had already broken up once. We had fun that night watching the stars and kissing in the pool area. We broke up and starting dating again after that and then you came with me to the Drakensburg. Geluksburg was where we talked about the future we wanted to have one day, the life in Greece, with houses and kids and dreams that one day come true. Or so we thought, we had to break up soon afterwards because our parents found out that we were dating
You didn’t want to give up though and you asked me out every day. We broke up yet again after that and this time the whole school found out. Your friends found out but I didn’t worry because by that time you had decided that all my friends should know against my better judgement. We dating again soon after and this time we stayed together moving to Central America after high school. Of course our parents didn’t know until we told them that we were there with each other. I was cut off from my family and you from your mom but we still stayed together, that was until the fateful day of our very first argument.
Dear Emily
I know it has been a while since you wrote your letter and it has been two months since I received your letter I apologize for not replying sooner but I wasn’t sure what to say or how I should respond to the letter. I must admit it took me by surprise since I tried to search for you but you were gone and I didn’t know where you might be.
The day I lost you and the day I left my life came to end. There was nothing that I could do that didn’t remind me of losing you but I would like to fulfil your request from the previous letter and say what you wanted me to say. Not just because I have needed to say it for three years.
“I know this feeling isn’t normal. I’m not supposed to feel this way, especially not about someone like you but I do. Don’t tell me that I have to move on when you know I can’t achieve the impossible. To me there are things in life that matter and things in life that I need to be alive. You’re something I need; everyday just passes by and forms another when I don’t have you. When I do have you, everyday is perfect, everyday is alive. I know that saying I can’t live without you sounds corny but it’s true. I really can’t live without you. I have tried so many times but day after day became the same. Being just friends doesn’t cure the longing I have for you, it makes it worse. I know that it’s going to be hard keeping it a secret but if you want...scratch that. If you need me like I need you, you would at least be prepared to try one last time before you give up all hope. We planned a future with a house, jobs, kids even though we were only kids ourselves. I knew that one day we will have the future that we want to have. I saw the way you looked at him and I didn’t see love in your eyes, I didn’t see that sparkle in your eyes which always happened when you looked at me. Your hands were meant to be held by mine, your lips were meant to be kissed by mine. Don’t you see we are meant to be together? From the very first time we kissed I knew that I could never want anyone as much as I want you. That night we spent together was perfect in every way and with you in my arms everything else just vanished. So be with me now. I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. We will always be close to each other and I’m never giving up.”
My feelings for you have not changed, the only thing that has changed is the fact that I can now voice my feelings in the way that you have always wanted me to. These past few years were hell on earth for me. I searched for you everywhere. But of course I wouldn’t find you because by the time I had heard that you were in Alaska you had in fact already moved on. I am gravely sorry about the loss of your husband and especially after the heart warming story I read about the life you two shared. I didn’t know Scott but he sounds like an amazing person and I truly happy that you found happiness. The dreams and goals you fulfilled are ones that I still remember you creating and I am ecstatic that you were able to fulfil them. If I may make one small request I would like to see the family that you now have in South Africa.
People only walk around and laugh after the death of their loved ones because they know that their loved ones would want them to still have a happy life after they have left.
I remember the first day we met clearly. You started with your first day of hockey ever and I was standing on the sidelines watching. The hard ball you hit missed me by an inch and when our eyes locked I knew that we were destined to be together. My friends were dating your friends and we were always dragged along with dates and people that we only took along because you and I weren’t allowed to be together.
We started dating a few days after your first visit to my house but it wasn’t really official because you were too scared that someone would find out, which was understandable because I was just as scared. I look forward to seeing the photo and if you would allow me to come and visit sometime soon I would be overjoyed.
Love
Jason
Dear Jason
I am so glad that you replied to my letter. Thank you so much for filling in the blank spots in my memory, as soon as I read the letter the images returned to my mind. The images were in such great detail that I felt as if I was fifteen again, re-living the days. I included a photo of the wolves and I that we had taken a few days ago, as well as a photo that Scott took when Jake recovered after I drove into him. On the back of the photo is my address in South Africa. As I also have a holiday house in Cape Town I included that address as well. Before you come, phone and I will tell you in which house I am in at the moment.
I am glad that you still have strong feelings for me because I still have strong feelings for you. You were my best friend and I would be delighted if I can start calling you my best friend yet again? I included my cellphone number and home number with the photos. Hearing you say those words for the first time would be amazing but reading them was great. While I was reading your letter I could still hear your voice and I knew immediately that it was you. My letters might take a while to reach you but I am positive that you will receive them sooner or later. I am interested in how you might be living your life now. Do you have any kids? Do you have a girlfriend or maybe a wife? And lastly do you have any animals? I still remember your love for hamsters and rabbits. You would fantasize about owning them on a large scale and even breeding with them. So I was also wondering what job you might have? I can’t remember what you studied after high school or what your subject interest was. Do you still have contact with a few of our old friends? I would like to get in touch with them. Please include your address in your reply as I might be coming to Central America for the Christmas holiday. So maybe I would be able to see you sooner.
As I write this letter the life we were planning runs through my mind and I wonder if you have ever actually been to Greece yet. I had an opportunity to go once before but had to turn it down as it was during the time that Scott was so very ill. I know you wanted to travel the world and see new places. It would be fascinating to know where you have been. I am relieved that you still use our old post box because otherwise I would not have known how to get in touch with you. You would be surprised to know that I took a leap of faith and I phoned my mom. I haven’t spoken to her since you and I were together, four to five years ago but she was relieved to hear from me. We talked on the phone for hours and she told me that you still didn’t have contact with your mom. So is I may ask one very important favour please phone her. She is dying to hear from you. She still loves you. I don’t know when this letter will reach you but happy birthday. I hope you enjoy your day. I came across our Grade 12 year book and found our photos. There is a box that I found while I was cleaning out and included a few photos from the box. I included a few of them.
Love
Emily
Dear Emily
Of course you are my best friend. You have always and will always be a very special part of my life and my heart. I do not have a wife or kids and my girlfriend left me a while ago. We had been dating for two years but I didn’t want to have kids with her and she left. My family consists of five huskies and like your wolves are your family these huskies are mine. I didn’t start a breeding centre for rabbits and hamsters because I had a few space constraints as I moved back into the house that you and I lived in. I brought the property next door and tore down the wall for the huskies.
I am in fact a writer now although a studied to become a chef but my love for food left me and I found joy in writing short stories. After you left I tried to write you a letter, our friend Sharn found them and immediately urged me to publish them. They turned into a book of short stories but I didn’t take them too many publishers and they ended up being printed in a magazine as a series. After they were all published the magazine urged me to write more and offered me the title of a writer. I accepted and carried on writing them. I am still in contact with many of our friends and they are all very excited to hear from you. Sharn and the rest of our usual “crowd” all say hi. I included their home addresses and phone numbers for in case you wanted to see them when you came down here for Christmas. My address is also included as you requested though I doubt you would need it. The house still looks the same although the yard is a lot bigger now.
I have travelled around the world but never to Greece as that as always been something I wanted to experience with you. I went to Egypt and Australia which were both extraordinary beautiful. I travelled to many countries in Africa and also went to Paris and Rome. I remember your desire to travel so I included travel details and photos for you, if you ever want to travel to any of the places I have been. As you requested I phoned my mom and we had a talk but as soon as I mentioned that you told me to contact her, she shut down. I assume she still hasn’t gotten over the time that you and I first ran away together. Your letter reached me in time for my birthday and so I hope that this reply reaches you in time for yours. The restaurant we always went to on special occasions is still open. It has been renovated but still bears the same name. So a very happy birthday for you and I hope your wolves spoil you rotten, you deserve it. You haven’t included their names yet and I would be delighted to know what you and Scott chose ad names for them. You and I were born in the same year so we are the same age. The photos you included brought back so many memories and I will phone and check where you are before I come to visit. Although I am only able to join you in South Africa after the Christmas holiday, I will definitely phone soon.
Love
Jason
Dear Jason
I am definitely coming to visit for Christmas. I have brought my plane ticket and I was wondering if I could stay with you at your house. If it is a problem Laurisa said I could stay with her. You letter did reach me in time for my birthday. In fact it arrived on my birthday and it turned into the perfect birthday present.
Thank you for the travel details you included in your last letter. I have already inquired into many options for next year. Staying away from home for long periods at a time is not a problem as other workers can take care of the wolves and other animals. But my first stop is Greece and I was wondering if you would join me. You waited for my so I am going to wait for you.
I have included a photo of each of the wolves with their names printed on the back of the photo. I also included their ages and how old they were when we got them. Another holiday destination that I’m going to is Alaska and I know you have been there but I was wondering if you would accompany me on my trip. I still have feelings for you and I know this sounds strange but I want to live with you again. I understand that this is sudden but we didn’t have time together. I miss you and I miss us.
But maybe we should talk about this face to face. I am going to be there in a few days and then maybe we can talk about it. My mom is finally ok with us being together and your mom and I had a conversation over the phone. After I read your letter I had a brave streak and I phoned her. We had a long conversation and I convinced her to come with me to see you. I know it’s sudden but she really wanted to see you.
I hope you are not unhappy with the arrangements?
Love
Emily
Dear Reader
It has been seven months since my letter to Jason. By the end of it all I moved in with him and brought the wolves with me. The wolves and huskies make a great combination and live together in our backyard. We extended the yard another property size and also included a playhouse. I am pregnant and we are expecting twins. After Jason received my letter he has overjoyed that he came to South Africa a week later. He spent a week here and together we went to our parents for two weeks. They did not welcome us with open arms but by the end of the first week we were getting along and all past hatchets were buried
Love
Emily
Dear Reader
I hope you enjoyed this trip with us. I finally became a private short story writer, it turns out there are many people who want a special part of their lives retold in a short story. Emily became a vet in Central America and still owns the Kruger National Park in South Africa. I hope you enjoyed Letters to Reunite and learnt a great deal from the piece of writing. Family is important, no matter how far away they are or how many horrible times you have been through with them. Emily and I traveled to Greece after all and we loved it so much that we decided to get married in Athens. I took her travelling to many other places as well as back to Alaska, which turned out to be a learning experience for the both of us but more of that in the next story.
Love
Jason
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