~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
"Hey, (y/n)," your coworker, Sunako, said as she came up to you, smiling.
"Hey, Sunako. Sorry I'm almost late," you apologized bowing forward slightly. Even though she wasn't your boss, she had been here longer than you had, and you respected her a bit.
"You're really cutting it close," she agreed, but she smiled, showing that all was forgiven. "C'mon. We just got in an order and we've got to stock them."
"Sweet," you replied. Inventory days were your favorite because you enjoyed the smell of fresh print upon fresh pages. Something about new books just seemed magical in a different way than the magical feel of old, ancient books.
As the two of you worked side by side, Sunako asked, "So how'd your brother like it?"
"Hm? Like what?" you asked, more focused on looking at the new titles before you looked up to meet Sunako's eyes.
"The book, silly. The Black Goat's Egg. You saved up to buy a signed copy, didn't you?"
"Oh, that," you said, going back to the books in front of you to keep yourself busy. "I didn't have a chance to give it to him quite yet."
Sunako shrugged, also resuming her work. "It's a shame. I'm sure he'll love it. After all, it was a great choice, picked out by the biggest Sen Takatsuki fan I've ever seen."
You laughed, blushing slightly. It was true; although Kaneki enjoyed reading her work, you were the one who discovered her writing and read as much as you could before turning Kaneki onto it. "Well, I just hope he likes it."
"Of course he will. I'm sure you'll be able to give it to him soon."
You smiled down at the books, a small but warm smile. "I hope so."

~time skip~

After the bookstore, you worked a shift at a cafe (but not the one you meet Kaneki at) before heading home. After opening the door, you found Kaneki sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a mug of something presumably warm and reading through the book you'd bought him. He turned when you entered and smiled.
"Welcome back, (y/n)," he said before wincing. "Sorry I missed our meeting the other day. I completely forgot about it."
"It's okay," you said, closing the door behind you. You wanted to say something more, but what could you say?
"Thanks for the book," he said after a moment, still smiling. "Have you read it yet?"
You nodded and sat down next to him. "It's extremely poetic and beautiful...Possibly my favorite work of hers."
He nodded. "I'm not sure if it's my favorite, but it's certainly delicate, like a glass butterfly."
Kaneki, do you know that sometimes my heart feels like a glass butterfly? I hurt and hurt, but when I try to fly away, I shatter into a thousand pieces. But you didn't say anything. You were just happy he was home. You knew that he was forgetful, and that he was usually extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, but ever since your mother died and you and Kaneki left the shelter (or hell) of your aunt's house, you'd both been a bit distant from each other.
Kaneki looked up as though he sensed something. "Are you all right, (y/n)?"
"I'm fine," you said, but as you walked down the hall, you whispered, "But sometimes it feels like I know Hide better than I know you."

~time skip~

You woke up to find Hide and Kaneki laughing quietly in the kitchen.
"Good morning, (y/n)," Hide said. "You're up early."
You pursed your lips. "If someone hadn't been laughing and woke me up, I'd still be sleeping."
"Morning," Kaneki said, looking up and smiling at you. "We were about to grab some coffee. Come along?"
You shrugged. "I should let you two hang out for a bit."
"No, really," Hide said, grinning. "Come with us. It's boring with just this guy."
"Hey," Kaneki said, taking mock offense, but he started laughing instead and ruined the mood.
"All right, I guess I'll come," you conceded, grabbing your jacket. "As long as you don't make me late."
Hide and Kaneki stood up to leave, and you followed them outside. You almost let them walk ahead by themselves, but then Hide slowed down so you could join them, so you just smiled gently and walked beside him as he made sure not to walk too fast. When you got to the coffee shop, Kaneki and Hide sat on one side of the booth while you sat on the other, with Hide laughing and grinning a lot and making eye contact with you as though to make sure you felt included.
Hide's really nice, you thought, blushing lightly and looking down at the table. You noticed that Hide also blushed slightly and looked down, leaving Kaneki to stare at both of you wondering what was going on.
"I'll be right back," you said, standing up and making your way to the bathroom.

~from Narrator’s POV third person~
Kaneki looked at Hide, searching his face as though trying to find an answer. Hide looked back at him curiously. "What?" he asked.
Kaneki frowned slightly. "Are you...are you into my sister?"
Hide blushed and looked down for a second before meeting Kaneki's eyes and grinning. "Yeah, I am."
Kaneki blinked, his eyes wide. "For how long?"
Hide shrugged, his grin fading away. "Probably since you started avoiding her. Maybe earlier."
"Avoiding? I'm not trying to-"
Hide's eyes grew hard as he looked at Kaneki. "You missed your meeting the other day."
"I know," Kaneki said, frowning. "I apologized. It wasn't on purpose; I was just in the middle of working on a project with my group, and I completely forgot."
Hide folded his arms. "Yeah, okay. You forgot. That's fine, once, even twice. But Kaneki? You missed your meeting last week, too."
Kaneki avoided his eyes, clearly starting to feel a bit guilty. "That was also an accident. There's that essay I'm writing-"
"How about a few days before that?" Hide asked, and Kaneki sank into his side of the booth.
"She must hate me," Kaneki said softly, his eyes sad.
Hide sighed, leaning back and unfolding his arms to cross them behind his neck. "No, Kaneki, she doesn't. That's what's kinda sad."

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
You came back from the bathroom to find Hide looking tense and Kaneki looking disappointed as he stared down at the table.
"What's wrong?" you asked, sliding into your seat. Hide, noticing your return, immediately brightened up and smiled at you.
"Nothing," he said, grinning. "I ordered you a coffee. Is that okay?"
You nodded, smiling back. "Thanks, Hide."
"Hey, (y/n)," Kaneki said, looking up at you and meeting your eyes with his own trouble ones. "I'm really sorry if it seemed like I'm avoiding you. Really, I'm not trying to-"
"It's okay. Really," you said, taking a sip of your coffee and breaking eye contact with him.
"No, it's not," he said firmly, surprisingly you to the point of almost spilling your coffee. In your entire life, you'd never seen Kaneki ever really go against something. He was the guy who just said, "Sure thing," and went along for the ride. When your mom died, he tried to pretend like it wasn't her fault or her sister's fault for overworking her, that it was just a thing of nature. When you had to move in with your aunt, he just took the verbal abuse until Hide stood up for him, and even then, he never confronted her. Instead, he waited until you were both out of high school so you could leave and move into your own apartment together. He'd never protested, never argued, never denied anyone anything or stood up for himself. One time, some kids were picking on you at your school, calling you an orphan, and Kaneki just came up, took your hand, and walked you home. He wasn't angry or sad, or if he was, he hid it as he'd always done.
So the fact that he was asserting his own opinion in a matter that he was usually blind to startled you immensely. "Huh?" you asked, looking from Kaneki to Hide, who was also looking at Kaneki as though not sure where he was going with this.
"Can we meet up at our coffee shop this afternoon?" he pressed, leaning a little closer. "I really want to make it up to you."
You bit your lip. What if I say yes, and he forgets again? What will I do? "How about as soon as I get off my shift at the cafe?" you replied, because you were just as much of a pushover as Kaneki was.
Kaneki smiled, that warm smile that made you wonder if bad things ever happened in the world. "I'll be there for sure."
I smiled back, a little bit more weakly than him because I was riddled with doubts and insecurities. Hide slapped him on the back in the way guy friends do sometimes, only Kaneki's a frail kid so he almost fell onto the table. We all laughed, even Kaneki, and whatever tension you'd walked in on earlier seemed to have disappeared between them.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
A few minutes later, (y/n) stood up, apologizing and explaining that she had to hurry up and get to work or she'd be late. You said goodbye with Kaneki and waved as she walked out the door, her long black hair trailing after her.
Then I noticed Kaneki glaring at me. "Stop staring at my sister."
"Oops."

~time skip~

You walked into Anteiku and made your way to your normal table to find Kaneki already sitting there, reading the book you bought him and drinking coffee without removing his eyes from the words. With a smile, you approached the table and took your seat, causing him to look up and smile back at you.
"I'm really glad we could finally meet like this," you said softly, the hint of a smile still on your lips.
Kaneki was still faintly smiling as well. "Yeah. I'm sorry for being insensitive and oblivious. Just..."
"Just what?"
He looked out the window before looking back and you and leaning in as though about to whisper confidential information. "You can't smile like that around Hide, okay?"
"Huh?" you asked, confused. "What do you mean?"
Kaneki just sighed, shook his head, and smiled again. "It's nice to be able to talk to each other. You've been busy with work, and I've been busy with school. It seems like we're always missing each other by mere minutes, like a bad relay race or something."
You laughed, and the two of you talked for a while, just about random stuff. At one point, you left to go to the bathroom, but when you came out, you saw that a girl with purple hair and glasses was talking with Kaneki, motioning towards his book. She laughed, a sound like wind chimes, and he joined in.
For some reason, you felt oddly hurt and betrayed, but you tried to cover it up. They look like a picture perfect couple. I should just leave them alone and wish him good luck. With that, you pulled out your phone and texted Kaneki.
Sorry, but my manager just asked me to put in an extra shift since Sunako went home sick. Take your time coming home. -(y/n)
You saw Kaneki get the text, looking slightly concerned. Okay. I'm going to talk to Rize for a while. Be safe. -Kaneki
Then the girl seemed to ask what was wrong, and he showed her the text. She smiled at him and probably said something like, "That means more time for us to get to know each other." Or at least, that's what you guessed.
Maybe you were being too hard on her, but it hurt that Kaneki was never completely focused on you.
But now I'm just being selfish again. So you left Anteiku, and because you couldn't head home yet and risk exposing your small lie in case he returned too soon, you decided to take a walk.
By this time, it was getting dark, so you figured no one else would really be out, but half an hour later, you heard two sets of footsteps. You turned and saw Kaneki walking with the purple-haired girl, and to avoid being seen, you ducked into a shadowed doorway, watching them stop. They talked a little, but you couldn't hear what was happening. Then, out of nowhere, the girl revealed her true nature and attacked Kaneki.
She's a...she's a ghoul! you cried out inside your head, filled with horror. Then, with stilted steps, you began running towards Kaneki.
"Kaneki!" you shouted, tears forming in your eyes. You reached him and grabbed his hand before she tried to lunge for him again, and then the two of you were running and alternatively dragging each other away from her, but she was giving chase, as though this were all a game.
"But didn't you want to get closer to me, Kaneki?" she asked, her eyes crazed and filled in with black and red. Some of Kaneki's blood stained her mouth and face.
"Run faster!" you said, almost out of breath, but Kaneki was in even worse shape than you. He was struggling for every step, and he tripped on uneven ground, sending both of you face first into the ground.
Before you could even attempt to stand, the girl - Rize, if you remember his text correctly - loomed over the two of you, looking even more insane than before. "Two of you? That means one for dinner, one for dessert? Or should I eat both of you now?" She tilted her head, the blood streaking down her face and forming new rivulets in the new direction. "My appetite cannot be sated, after all. Which of you wants to go first?"
You were crying from sheer terror and shaking violently, whereas Kaneki seemed to be frozen in fear. Neither of you had the ability to run away nor even move. You would die here, and there was nothing either of you could do. You looked into Kaneki's eyes, and something in him seemed to unfreeze, because he blinked and hugged you, as though protecting you from Rize. Your tears wet his shirt, which was already stained in blood.
Just as Rize moved to take a bite out of one of you, something came crashing down from above, and your world went black.

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
When you woke up, you didn't understand what was happening. You were surrounded by weird machines, and there was something over your mouth. Your fingers wouldn't move when your mind told them too, and that scared you into breathing too fast. That, and because when you looked around without moving your head, you could see a bed next to yours, and one look at that black hair told you it was Kaneki. The machine closest to your bed started beeping a lot, and a man looked over you, shouting something to someone nearby, but you couldn't make out the words.
Then his face went blurry, and you closed your eyes.
When you woke up again, the face mask was still on, but when you tried to move, your fingers responded. Your legs didn't, though, or they would have carried you far away from whatever nightmare this was.
Just then, the same man as earlier appeared next to you. He made sure that Kaneki was also awake before he began explaining things.
He said things...such horrible, unbelievable things...but since you were just barely stable, you couldn't put your hands over your ears or run away. You just had to listen.
You had to hear him tell you that you weren't completely human anymore. You were alive, but you weren't. You were dead, but you weren't. You were a man-made hybrid of something God didn't even want to make.
Both you and Kaneki had undergone surgery, as it was the only way to save your life after almost being crushed to death underneath the wreckage of whatever had fallen on you. Both of you had lost vital organs, and the only way you were able to even survive this far...
...was to transplant organs from Rize, the ghoul, into you and Kaneki.
He explained how, if Rize hadn't have been there, you both would have died, since they didn't have suitable organs just waiting for you in the fridge. "Ironic, isn't it," he said in that dry voice of his, "that a ghoul - a creature of death and destruction - granted you extended life and saved both of you from certain death."
You didn't find that funny. Neither did Kaneki, and that was probably a good thing, because if either of you had started laughing, you probably would have coughed up a ghoul-donated lung.
According to the doctor, you both should recover near completely and would be released in a matter of days, or maybe even a week or so. "Of course," he said, leaning closer, "neither of you can say a word of any of this to anyone. Am I clear?"
You both just blinked, and he must have taken that for a yes, because he walked away.
"Yeah, because I want to go around telling every I know that I have part of a ghoul inside of me," you whispered, and despite the face mask, Kaneki heard you and looked over. Your eyes met - and both of you flinched, because you saw that one of his eyes was black and red like a ghoul's, and he saw that one of yours was the same.
Both of you cried a little bit out of your human eye.

~time skip~

When you returned home with Kaneki, neither of you said anything. Instead, you went to your separate rooms, ignoring the pile of mail on the table and multiple handwritten notes from who could only have been Hide.
Later that day, you went into the kitchen to find something to eat, but when you tried to eat something, you coughed it out immediately, your entire body in revolt and your gag reflexes against you. Maybe my food preferences changed, you thought, so you tried something else but got the same reaction.
In a final desperate motion, you tried a little of almost everything you could find, forcing yourself to swallow at least one bite before you'd fall to your knees, dropping whatever you were holding.
Kaneki heard you struggling, so he rushed in to find you dry-heaving on the floor. "(Y/n)!" he shouted, the first time he'd talked in a week, and he helped move you into the bathroom, where he rubbed your back as you threw back up everything you'd tried to eat. After the worst had stopped, you sank to your knees, with him kneeling beside you, and you started crying.
"What is it?" he asked softly, and your eyes met. Somehow, you just knew that one of yours was currently in ghoul form right now, but he managed not to flinch back this time.
"They never...they never told us this," you choked out, holding your stomach and trying to become smaller and sink into yourself.
"Told us what?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in worry, confusion, and fear.
"Giving us her organs was one thing," you murmured, tucking your head into your knees. "Making us into...them...is another." You took a shaky breath. "Kaneki, I can't eat human food anymore."
He took in a sharp breath. "What?"
"I can't eat anything. And it's not that I'm not hungry, because I'm..." Despite just throwing up, you felt a pain stab your stomach. "I'm starving, Kaneki."
"Do you...do you feel an urge to eat me?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"No," you whispered.
"Then you can't be a ghoul," he said, trying to ease the situation, but you shook your head, moaning. "What is it?" he asked.
"I don't want to eat you," you whispered, "because I can just somehow tell that you're already dead, like me. Kaneki...I think we're both ghouls now."
"No..." he murmured, and you started crying harder.
"What do we do?" you cried out, wrapping your arms around your knees and shaking out of fear. "We're in this together, but I've never felt more alone, Kaneki. I'm scared..."
Just then, you both heard a knock at the door. You got quiet immediately, and both you and Kaneki listened.
"Hello? Hello?" It was Hide. "I heard you guys got released, so I wanted to celebrate with you. Hello? Are you guys home?" They heard him sigh. "I guess not. I should leave a note..." A minute of silence later, and a few more knocks followed. "Are you sure you guys aren't in there? You better not be avoiding me," he warned, followed by another sigh before he turned and walked away.
You lifted your head up to see Kaneki get up, grab something from the kitchen, and go to his room. You left the bathroom, going to your own room instead, and a few minutes later, you heard the sound of Kaneki throwing up in the next room.
You sat on your bed, the door closed and the room otherwise empty, and you realized that both of you may as well have died in the wreckage, because living would be hell.
***
When you woke up (if you slept at all), you dragged your way into the kitchen. Kaneki sat slumped at the kitchen stable, his head in his hands.
You sat in the seat opposite him, the one not reserved for Hide, and drew your legs into the protective circle of your arms.
"I just don't know what to do anymore," he whispered, and you could see that he'd been crying, probably a lot. It made sense; you were twins. You'd cried a lot too, and you were also hopelessly lost as to what you should do.
You noticed a knife in the middle of the table.
"What's this?"
He sighed, finally meeting your eyes with his one bloodshot one and the other black one. "I want...to confirm..." He shook his head. "I just wanted to see if...if we're really..." He drew in a long breath, sounding exhausted. Perhaps he hadn't slept at all either. "They say that a simple knife like this isn't enough to kill a ghoul. So...I wanted to find out for myself. What we are now...I don't know if we're human, or if we're ghoul. If I try this and i live, then it means we're damned forever. If I try this and I die...would that really be so bad? If we retain our humanity? We can't eat human food any more, and I just can't..."
Both of us recalled vivid images of late night news shows with mangled corpses.
"Fine," you said, but you got up and grabbed another knife from the drawer. "But if you're trying, then I'm trying."
He already knew that there was nothing he could say to dissuade me, so he just nodded. "I stab you, and you stab me?" he asked, his voice shaking. You were both scared - of what would happen, and of what wouldn't.
You nodded and grasped the knife in one fist, tightening your fingers around the handle and taking a deep breath, noticing that he was doing the same. You faced each other, your grip on the knives awkward, and with a nod, Kaneki slowly counted down from three.
On zero, you each thrust the blade at each other.
The blades shattered, and all you were left holding was the handle. You and Kaneki locked eyes, dropping the handles, and both started to cry. Then you hugged him, crying into his chest. "This can't be...what are we going to do? What are we going to do?" you repeated, terrified and unsure about what was going to happen to you. Would you starve to death? There was no way you could eat another human. Was there? Will I lose myself that much?
You felt Kaneki shrug and hold you tighter. Everything was gone, dead to you. The world of humans rejected you. The two of you were all each other had left.

~time skip~

You were wandering the streets with Kaneki, experimenting going out for the first time. You were drawn by that damned hunger, the one that couldn't be satisfied, and even though you were sure that Kaneki felt it as well, neither of you was willing to admit how close you were to losing yourself.
Then it happened. You were walking down an alley when you smelled something delicious. Kaneki smelled it as well, because you both looked at each other and picked up the pace, almost jogging now...
...and then you stumbled on to it. A human, still breathing, but barely. Both of you took a lunge forward before what remained of your mind tried to remind you that hello, eating people is wrong! but then you gave in to your new ghoul impulses. Both of you fell on the body, ignoring the man's screams and focusing instead on satisfying that insistent hunger.
You were both so caught up in gorging yourself that you never heard the steps behind you before you were both thrown into the wall.
"Who said you could hunt here?" an orange-haired guy asked, pushing his glasses up as he glared down at you. Somehow, you instinctively recognized him as a ghoul. "This isn't your territory. It's-"
"-Anteiku's territory," a girl said, appearing on the other side of the alley, "and you've all made a mess of things."
The orange-haired guy growled, his eyes going black, and the fight won over the flight as he surged towards the girl, believing himself to be the predator, but the tables turned. The girl blocked his attacks and sent him flying, her eyes similarly black.
"Go now. This is your only warning," she snarled, and with a final scowl, the orange-haired ghoul turned and fled, disappearing faster than he'd come. Then the girl turned to us. "Great. Just what we need, some newbies with blood lust. Can't even handle your own appetite. Disgusting," she bit out with hatred as her eyes faded back to normal. "Look what you've done. A waste of a human, if you ask me, and we're going to have to clean it up." She met your eyes as you sat hunched against the wall, shaking along with Kaneki in horror over the atrocity you'd committed.
"We...we killed him..." you choked out, feeling as though someone had stoppered your throat to stop the oxygen flow. Then again, maybe you didn't eve need oxygen anymore. As far as you were concerned, you were dead.
The girl didn't spare you a kind, pitiful, sympathetic look. "If you can't take responsibility, then get out of my sight. We don't need cowards or weaklings like you. Can't deal with killing and eating people? Then get lost and have fun dying fast. Not my problem." She paused, as though battling with her conscience. You guessed that part of her won, because she turned and with a scowl, said, "If you don't want to die, follow me. I'm not offering twice."
She was already halfway down the alley before you and Kaneki stumbled to your feet and dragged yourselves after her, still soaked in that man's blood.
While following her, you realized that she was a waitress at Anteiku, the coffee shop you and Kaneki frequented. Is that the same Anteiku she was speaking of earlier? you wondered. Then that place...is all staffed by ghouls?
With apprehension foreshadowing every step, you followed her, Kaneki at your side, not sure who you were following or were you were going in this strange new world of horrors that you'd just walked into.
***
You followed the girl, Kaneki at your side, down multiple alleys until she stopped at a side door and opened it to reveal the cafe you'd spent countless hours sitting at, staring out the window. Part of your heart broke as you realized that your memories were forever shattered. Your future had been ripped away from you, and now your past was obscured as well.
"Have a seat," the girl said, gesturing vaguely and shutting the door behind you, making sure the closed sign was up before she locked it. "Don't drip blood everywhere," she warned, glaring at you and Kaneki, but suddenly, she changed completely, turning and straightening her back. "Master," she said. "I found these two in the alley."
"Thank you, Touka," he said, smiling kindly. Then he looked at us without ever really opening his eyes and seemed to take in our appearances. He turned back to Touka. "Was it bad?"
She nodded, and he nodded to himself in response. "We'll have to make a note for Yomo."
Touka nodded, sent a final scowl towards you and Kaneki, and went up the stairs without a backwards glance.
The older man turned back to address us. "Welcome to Anteiku. I'm Yoshimura, and I own and run this place as a safe haven for ghouls such as yourself."
"We're not-" you started to say, but then you realized that you couldn't deny it any more, and you looked at the ground, stopping yourself.
Mr. Yoshimura smiled at you, a little bit sympathy, a little bit kindness. Nothing at all like Touka, who didn't even want you there in the first place. "For good or for bad, you're a ghoul now, and the best thing any of us can do is help you grow and accept yourselves. While your future is up to you to determine, I hope that we can show you peaceful ways for us to live. Anteiku is founded on this idea of peaceful coexistence with humans, and I should hope that you adopt this principle as well. Violence towards humans will not be tolerated, so you may only stay as long as you harm none. Are we clear?"
You and Kaneki nodded, still shocked, and Mr. Yoshimura smiled. "Good. Then how about I teach you a few things about what you are?"

~time skip~

"I don't get it," you said, eyeing the coffee with distrust. "We can't eat human food any more. And now you're saying that coffee is okay? Why is that?"
Mr. Yoshimura just shrugged. "We're not completely sure. It simply is. Ghouls can digest coffee as the one exception. And..." He dropped in what looked like a dark sugar cube to both cups. "Try this."
Kaneki and you exchanged glances before taking a sip.
"The hunger..." Kaneki remarked, staring down at the coffee. "It's fading away."
Mr. Yoshimura nodded and held up the thing that looked like a sugar cube. "I'm sure you can figure out what this cube is made out of. Added to coffee, it helps with the hunger."
You looked down at the coffee, feeling sick now that you knew what you were really drinking, but you also knew that if you didn't satisfy the blood lust inside of you, you could end up hurting someone again. You took a second experimental sip of the coffee, the bloody image of the man in the alley still burned into your mind.
"Now, you two must be tired. Would you like to stay here for the night?"
You and Kaneki looked at each other, thinking of the shattered shards of the two knives that had been destroyed and now decorated the floor of the kitchen. "Can we stay here?" Kaneki asked, turning to Mr. Yoshimura. "Just for now, I mean."
"It's perfectly all right," Mr. Yoshimura said, smiling. "Let me show you to your room."
***
Mr. Yoshimura had given you and Kaneki a room to share, explaining that he would have had you share with Touka, but...clearly, that was a bad idea. Kaneki, of course, just insisted it was fine. So the two of you had gone to sleep last night without talking to each other because you couldn't face each other knowing what you'd both become.
When you woke up, Kaneki was staring out the window. When he noticed that you were awake, he just sighed. "I want to go back, to my old life, to my friends and college. How can I ever go back there?"
"Do you...do you think we'll ever get to see Hide again?" you asked out of nowhere, then internally yelled at yourself for it. Hide is Kaneki's friend. Why am I even mentioning him? Kaneki has to be in pain.
Kaneki looked at the ground. "I want to see him. He's my best friend. If anyone would understand, it would be him. And even if he didn't..." Kaneki met your eyes before looking back out the window. "Like I said. He's my best friend. I owe him that much." Kaneki put his palms on his knees for support and stood. "I'm going to go to my college. I'm going to go see him."
"What will Mr. Yoshimura say?" you asked, scrambling to your feet.
"I can't worry about that," Kaneki responded. "We may be in the new world of ghouls, but we don't have to play by their rules. Just talking to Hide can't be that bad."
"I don't know..."
Kaneki looked at you with a hurt expression. "Who's side are you on?"
"Sorry," you said, ducking your head. "Yours, of course. Just...I'm worried."
He gave you a sad smile and ruffled your hair affectionately. "It'll be fine. Want to come with?"
Why does my heart beat faster when I think of seeing Hide? "Sure," you said casually, making sure that your clothes weren't covered in blood. Fastest way to make a scene in the district? Walk around like a half-dead carcass.
Before you both left, you made sure you had eye patches in place in case your ghoul eye was somehow triggered.

~time skip~

"Are you sure this is okay?" you asked Kaneki for the millionth time, peering around anciently. "I'm not even a student here."
"It's fine," he assured you patiently, leading the way. "Besides, we won't be here long. We just have to find Hide and convince him to ditch for today." He stopped next to a bench, looking around, before turning to you. "Stay here. I'm going to go check a few places where he might be, okay? Try not to wander off."
You nodded and sat down as Kaneki waved and walked towards the main building on campus. A few minutes later, you noticed someone sit down next to you and you turned, ready to get up in case they needed the bench, but your words caught in your throat. Finally, you said one word. "Hide."
He nodded, a slight smile on his face, but he was looking ahead, not really meeting your eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he was holding back.
"Kaneki was looking for you," you offered, and if you were reading him correctly, he looked a little disappointed.
"Kaneki, huh?" he asked, reluctantly getting up with a sigh. "I suppose I'd better find him."
Before you could stop yourself, you reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping him from walking away, and he flinched, turning back to stare at you in surprise, but you let go of his hand and looked to your right, blushing. "Sorry," you muttered, but when you looked back at him, he was still there, and he was staring at you, blushing as well.
"Well, um..."
"Yeah..."
He cleared his throat, and when he met your eyes, his own widened. "Oh, wow. What happened to your eye? Are you all right?" he asked, and your hand went up to feel the eye patch hiding your secret.
"Um..." you began, looking at the ground. How can I tell him? He needs to know...but how can I reveal that to him?
Just then, Hide slapped his forehead, and you looked up. "Jeez, I'm insensitive. I'm sorry, (y/n). Please forgive me," he said, folding his hands together as though praying and closing his eyes in a pleading gesture. You laughed automatically, and he opened his eyes, smiling and happy to have brightened your mood, but his smile slipped a few seconds later. "I heard...that you two were injured in some kind of accident." Both of you were quiet. "I tried to see you guys a few times, but the hospital wouldn't let me, and you guys were never home."
You avoided his gaze, feeling guilty, but you just couldn't bring yourself to tell him what was really happening. "I'm sorry," you said, standing up and looking away from him because you couldn't meet his eyes. "Maybe I was wrong to come," you said, already walking away, but this time, he caught your hand and stopped you. Neither of you moved, waiting for the other to say something, but just then, Kaneki approached.
"Found you," he said, smiling lightly at Hide before taking note of the situation. His smile fell until he just looked confused. "Hide? (Y/n)? What happened?"
Hide just met his eyes, a touch of defiance in his, and he didn't let go of your hand.
"I'm sorry, Kaneki," you said. "You had something to say to Hide. I'll give you two some time." Then you looked down pointedly at your hand, still held in Hide's, until he unwillingly let go.
As you walked away, you heard him call out, "Wait! (Y/n)!" but you kept walking.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You watched your sister walk away, her long black hair swirling around her in glossy locks. Then you looked over and saw Hide watching the same exact thing, and for some reason, you felt a little angry. "What did you say to her?" you asked, looking at him with dead serious eyes.
Hide finally looked away from (y/n) and met your gaze with sad eyes that held a bit of frustration. "I said hi, and then..." He moaned and put his hands on his head. "I'm such an asshole."
"What did you say?" you asked, more firmly this time as you grabbed his wrists. His eyes flew open, somewhat surprised by your aggressiveness.
"I'm so sorry. Really I am..." After a moment of silence, he looked away and you dropped his wrists. "I brought up the accident." He closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. "Now I've screwed everything up. Damn it." He kicked the ground lightly, looking like he'd rather be kicking himself. He looked back up and met your eyes. "It's just...I haven't seen either of you in at least two weeks. I was really worried about you guys...And then I got the feeling that you were avoiding me. I really wanted some answers, and I accidentally tried to get them from (y/n), but I shouldn't have pressed so hard. I shouldn't have said anything about it. She's probably still getting over it."He put his hands over his eyes and sighed before dropping his hands and looking at you. "(Y/n) said you had something to tell me. What is it?"
Your eyes searched his face, and you realized that despite being friends since you were little, despite everything you'd gone through together, you were scared. What if you told him what had really happened and he ran away from you? Then you thought about (y/n). What if she was there when you told him? You knew that he kind of liked her. What if he looked at her with disgust? You couldn't bear that.
So despite your original mission to trust Hide and tell him the truth, you just couldn't do it. Instead, you looked him in the eyes and said, "Listen, Hide. I don't want you to hurt my sister."
"I would never-" he began with a strained look, but you shook your head.
"You may not have the intention of doing so, but I can't risk (Y/n)'s happiness on you if I think you'll just make her feel pain."
Hide's eyes dropped, hurt and betrayal coloring them.
"With that said, I'm sorry, but you can't come to my house anymore."
"What?" he asked, looking up, half shocked, half angry. "What do you mean? Are you just going to cut all ties with me now? Pretend that I never existed, that we were never friends?"
You shook your head. "No. We're still friends. We can hang out anywhere, as long as my sister isn't there. Do you understand?"
Hide looked at you angrily. "So you're never letting me see her again?"
You hesitated. "For now. I don't know about later, but at least until we get over...what happened. Trust me, Hide. It's for the best."
He looked down at the ground, nodded, and walked away without saying another word. With a sigh, you went off to find (y/n).

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
You sighed as you went back and forth on the swing of a nearby playground. Hide...I'm so sorry...But I just can't...
Kaneki walked up beside you and gave you a tired smile. "Hey, (y/n)."
"How'd it go?" you asked without looking at him, not sure if you wanted to see the look on his face right now.
There was a moment of hesitation, different from one of someone withholding information because it pained them. Then, "It went." You couldn't be sure, but you thought that he was hiding something from you.
Still, you shook the feeling off. Kaneki would never lie to you. He didn't know how to. Instead, you commented sadly, "So we won't be able to see Hide anymore, huh?"
He was quiet. There's my answer.
"C'mon," he said after a moment, extending a hand. "We should get back."
"Yeah." You stopped the swing by trailing your feet on the ground, and you reached out and accepted his hand. You walked back to Anteiku together, but feeling miles apart.

~time skip~

"Welcome back," Mr. Yoshimura said, his kindly face betraying no knowledge of whether or not he knew where you'd just gone. "There's a few people I want to introduce to you." He nodded towards a woman behind him, and she coaxed forward a small girl who met your eyes for one second before looking away. "This is Mrs. Fueguchi and her daughter, Hinami."
"Hello," the mother said, smiling sweetly although it looked a bit strained. "It's nice to meet you."
You nodded, and Kaneki added, "Nice to meet you, too."
The little girl hid behind her mother's skirt, and Mrs. Fueguchi turned to Touka, who was sweeping the shop. "Sorry to trouble you, Touka, but would you mind taking Hinami upstairs? She's still a bit...distressed."
Touka nodded and approached Hinami with a rare smile before taking her hand and leading her up the stairs and to the second level.
Kaneki looked inclined to talk with Mrs. Fueguchi, but as you were not especially socially-inclined, you followed the other girls upstairs with the excuse that you were tired and needed to lie down. Once upstairs, you paused in front of the door to your room, hearing laughter down the hall, and you found yourself slowly walking towards the sound. You stopped in front of the door that the voices were coming from, and after a second of indecision, you knocked. The voices stopped, and you heard footsteps coming towards the door.
Then it opened, with Touka's face peering out before frowning at you.
"I'm sorry," you said, looking down. "But...can I come in?"
***
Touka frowned at you but opened the door a little wider, standing back so you could enter.
"Thanks," you said, waiting for her to close the door.
She turned around, crossing her arms, and looked you hard in the face. "What do you want?"
You looked down at your feet, clasping your hands together. "Nothing. I just, um...I thought that maybe we could..." I just don't want you to hate me. I didn't really have many friends before, but now I have none, and I just want one person to reach out to...
Before you could say anything, Hinami came up and lightly tugged at your shirt. "You're the girl from downstairs," she said, and you nodded.
"You're Hinami, right?" you asked, and she bobbed her head, offering a small smile.
You bent down and held out a hand, smiling. "It's nice to meet you, Hinami-chan. Want to be friends?"
Hinami pretended to consider your proposition for a moment before nodding and shaking your hand. "Okay, (y/n) Onee-chan."
You laughed softly before standing up to find Touka watching you. You expected her to frown, but to your surprise, she gave a small smile before walking to another room. "Come on in," she said, gesturing for you to follow her.
Holding hands with Hinami, you followed her into her living area. Hinami went back to coloring pictures of what looked like animals, and you sat across from Touka.
"I'm...sorry...that I was rude before," she said, looking away before meeting your eyes.
"It's fine," you automatically said, but she shook her head, looking troubled.
"Not really. I know that you guys are new to this all, and it's gotta be hard for you. Just...you and your brother...you reminded me of some people I knew."
"Who were they?" you asked cautiously, and once again, she looked away.
"Just a brother and a sister trying to survive," she said, and something in her voice made you think that she might be talking about herself.
However, you didn't want to push her, so you just nodded in acceptance. After a minute, you said, "Well, thanks for bringing us here."
She looked up with a smile. "No problem. Welcome to Anteiku."
The two of you laughed while Hinami stopped from her coloring and looked up with a smile.
"Do you like my drawing?" she asked, smiling sweetly.
"That's such a cute raccoon," you said, smiling back, but she looked confused.
"What raccoon? It's my dad."
"Oh."
***
You left a couple minutes later, waving goodbye to both of them before heading to the room you shared with Kaneki. As you opened the door, you heard him laughing softly from somewhere downstairs, presumably as he talked with Mrs. Fueguchi and the others, but you had always had a hard time talking to people, so you didn't go downstairs to join them. Instead, you went inside your room, closing the door behind you before you sank into a position where your back was against the door and you were hugging your knees.
I've spent my life apart from others. When I was younger, Kaneki and I played together, but once he made friends with Hide, I was left behind. My mom just continued encouraging me to make friends for myself, but when I went to school, I was too quiet. Nobody noticed me, or if they did, it was just to use me somehow. "I'll be your friend if you carry my books for a week," they'd say, or stuff like that. At first, I ignored them. Who needed friends? But when I got home from school, I'd see Kaneki walking with Hide, and even though I was sitting in the living room, waiting to talk with Kaneki, he walked past me as though I wasn't there, like everybody else did. So I started to let myself be used. I carried books, I bought drinks, I lent homework. And I never made a single friend. Then my mom died. Kaneki drew away from me even more, spending too much time by himself. Eventually, we were sent to live at our aunt's house. She hated us, because she thought that we were trying to outshine her son or something stupid. Kaneki got the brunt of her ill-will until Hide defended him. In all my time in that house, I didn't say a word. Then we left to live on our own with the money we'd gotten from our inheritance, and Kaneki offered to help pay for my schooling, but the thought of going to a place like that, with all those kids who'd surely just use me like they'd done all my life - I hated that image. So I decided to work somewhere. I met Sunako, and although we were nice and talked, we never really connected much outside of work or shared much of anything personal. She was friendly, but not a friend.
Although Hide was originally Kaneki's friend, I felt like I'd been leaning on him for a long time. He'd been there, strong for both Kaneki and I throughout everything we endured. When Kaneki drew away from me, Hide came closer. He'd been the one to smile at me, to hold my hand as we crossed the street because I was slow and in my own world sometimes. He'd been the one to walk me home, to honor the appointments Kaneki always forgot, to drop off leftover dinner on random occasions. He'd been the person who kept me going, who made me feel like someone noticed me.
My mom died, I had to live with a b****y aunt, and then I turned into a ghoul. How come nobody else gets that much bad luck? Well, except for Kaneki. The difference was that Kaneki had people he could lean on, like Hide. I couldn't do that. I couldn't rely on Hide like Kaneki could because Hide and I weren't exactly friends. Hide was around because Kaneki was around, and for no other reason. If Kaneki was gone, Hide was gone. How could I depend on a relationship so delicate and frail?
And with the situation now...Hide was surely gone forever.
***
When you opened your eyes, you sat up, rubbing your eyes wearily. I must have fallen asleep, you thought, looking around in confusion. But what happened after that?
Then you looked over to see Kaneki sleeping against the side of your bed, even though he could have slept in his own. He was in a half-seated position with his back resting against the mattress and one leg folded in, the other sticking out. You carried me here, didn't you? you asked him mentally, smiling and ruffling his hair before getting up. Making sure your eye patch was on, you headed downstairs, nodding hello to Mr. Yoshimura and smiling at Touka and Hinami, who waved at you. You went over to join them.
"How can I help?" you asked, smiling although tired.
Touka paused from her sweeping and looked around. "Maybe I'll show you how to take orders."
"Sounds good."
She handed the broom off to Hinami. "Think you can handle it?"
Hinami nodded (so cute!) and accepted the broom as Touka led you behind the counter to put on an apron. "A perfect fit," she said, smiling after tying it on you. You blushed and she nodded as though pleased. "Now let's teach you the basics..."
***
Twenty minutes later, you were taking your first solo order. Smiling is optional, but try to look a little friendly. A brief smile after taking the order is usually good. You ran Touka's tips through your head as you approached the table, turning to find her and Hinami watching you not-so-secretively from behind the counter and giggling as you blushed and glared. Then you turned back to the table, smiling almost painfully with closed eyes. "Hello. Can I take your order?" Then you opened your eyes and took a step back, your smile fading.
Hide was sitting in the booth, folding his menu and placing it back on the table as he looked up at you with serious eyes. "So you're working here now?"
"Why are you here?" you asked instead, taking another step back. You heard footsteps, and then Touka appeared behind you, shaking her head.
"That's not how you do it, (y/n). You have to be approachable. Stop being so tense and rigid."
"I'm here because I wanted to see you," Hide said, leaning forward, and you looked away. Touka sent you a weird look, but you ignored it.
"Kaneki's upstairs," you said softly, but Hide shook his head, placing his hands on the table.
"I didn't come here for him. I came here to see you."
You shook your head, ignoring Touka's questions about who he was, and you untied the apron, handing it off to Touka. "Sorry, Touka. I'll be back later, okay?" And with that, you took started running. You noticed Kaneki walking down the stairs as you went past, looking as though he'd just woken up.
"Hide?" Kaneki asked, looking confused, but Hide didn't even look at him as he chased after you instead.
Meanwhile, you were booking it out of Anteiku and running as fast as you could in any direction that would avoid Hide, but he was faster than you. Even though you had your new ghoul reflexes, you hadn't trained at all yet.
You were in the middle of an empty parking garage when he grabbed your wrist, spinning you around and holding you close against him.
"(Y/n)," he whispered, panting, and you felt your heart beat faster.
"Hide, let go of me," you said, a little bit scared and a little bit nervous and a little bit worried. What if I lose my control and try to eat him? The idea horrified you so much that you tried to push him away, but he was too strong for you.
"I can't, (y/n)."
"What does that mean?" you asked, but just then, you saw a flash of orange hair as both of you were forced apart by someone's attack. You saw Hide fly into a car and crumple to the ground as you were propelled into a concrete wall. Groaning, you blinked open your eyes to see the same orange-haired guy you'd faced before ready to attack Hide.
"No!" you yelled, standing back up and trying to run towards him, but the best you could do was limp quickly. You saw your attacker somehow activate what looked like weird weapons similar to Rize's, and you paused right before he stabbed Hide in the stomach. Before you knew what you were doing, something burst out of your back, and you tried to attack the orange-haired megane.
His kagune easily batted yours away, but you were successful in switching his attacks away from Hide. Instead, he targeted you now. "Is that all you have, you pathetic weakling?" he asked, his eyes black and red as he advanced, walking closer to you.
You kept trying to attack him, but all of your attack were too weak. After all, you'd never used your kagune before. You didn't even know you had one! It wasn't long before your attacker stopped defending and went on offense instead, stabbing you multiple times and pinning you up against the wall with his kagune as you screamed. Your eye patch fell off, revealing your one ghoul eye, and he laughed.
"You're so pathetic that you're not even a full ghoul! What, did both God and Satan reject you?" He continued mocking you as he struck blow after blow. Eventually, your eyes closed as the pain dulled, and everything went quiet.

~time skip~

When you woke up, Touka was standing over you, looking down with a worried look. You sat up, putting a hand up to your head, but you laid back down once you felt the pain in your chest and stomach. Looking down, you could see yourself wrapped in bandages, some of them turning red due to your sudden movement.
"Where...?"
"You're in my room right now," Touka said as she rummaged through medical supplies. "Sorry. I had to undress you to help with the bandages."
"It's fine," you said, dazed. "What...happened?"
"After you ran out, the guy ran out after you, and Kaneki was about to go out after both of you when I stopped him, telling him that he'd be an idiot if he tried to interfere by himself, so I left him with Hinami and came after you. When I found you..." She nodded at you as she added more bandages to what you'd already amassed. "That damn Nishio was beating the hell out of you, and the other guy-"
"Is he okay?" you asked, almost sitting up again.
Touka observed your facial expressions before answering. "Yeah, he's going to be fine. I took him to a hospital. When he woke up, I asked him what he remembered, and he said nothing, just chasing after you and then suddenly - black."
You sighed in relief, relaxing again, and she tilted her head.
"Who is he to you?"
You thought about your answer, thinking about what had to be done for him to be safe. I can't endanger him like this again. "Nothing. He's nobody."
***
Touka crossed her arms and looked down at you disapprovingly. "He's nothing?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
You shrugged and looked away. "He can't be anything."
"There's a difference," Touka said, making you look up at her. "You know, being one of us isn't the end of the world. Yeah, it sucks to be hunted down and hated by the general population, but you get used to it. Besides, being a ghoul doesn't mean that you can't be like a human, too."
"What do you mean?" you asked, not really in the mood to solve riddles or similes or anything that you require mental taxation.
"I mean that, if you know how to keep your secret safe, you can still keep a part of your human world." Touka looked at the door as though to check that you were alone before looking at you. "I've got a friend, you know. A human friend. And no, I haven't eaten her or anything."
"How...how do you...?"
"How do I keep one foot in both worlds?" she asked, and you nodded. "You learn how to pretend to look like you're eating. You can choke down some human food over time, but you need to throw it back up shortly after because you can't digest it. Other than that, just blend in. It's not that hard. As long as you drink the coffee we serve here, your hunger should be pretty well balanced out, and you won't have to worry about attacking people you care about."
You and Touka talked for a bit before she excused herself. "Sorry," she said. "Hinami left a while ago with her mom, but they haven't come back yet. I'm going to check on them really quickly."
***
When Touka came back half an hour later, her face was grave. "Mrs. Fueguchi...is dead."

~time skip~

"No way," you said when Touka told you that she was going after the doves that had killed Hinami's mom. "If Mrs. Fueguchi couldn't take them on, what's to say that you can?"
"You can't stop me," Touka said, crossing her arms.
"Then take me with you."
"Are you kidding, (y/n)? You're a walking pile of bandages. You're still recovering from the hit you took. At best, you'd be a liability."
You're useless. No one needs you. All you are is a liability. Eyes stinging even though you knew that Touka was trying to protect you, you nodded and turned away from her, not wanting her to see you upset, because all you'd ever been your entire life was just that extra side character. "I get it," you said. "It's fine. Be safe."
"Are you okay?" Touka asked, and you heard her take a step closer.
"I'm...fine. Just go."
She nodded and left, closing the door carefully behind her. A few minutes later, the door opened again.
"How are you feeling, (y/n)?" Kaneki asked in his gentle voice, but you didn't want him to see that you were crying.
"Touka's going to try and attack the doves," you said, immediately diverting attention away from yourself.
"She's going to do what?"
"You should stop her, or at least help her."
"All right," Kaneki replied, already moving towards the door. "You stay behind and just focus on getting better, okay?"
And without another word, he was gone. For a second, you wished that he would have cared about you more, but you'd asked him to look after Touka, after all, so if he left, it was only your own fault. Still, you cried into the pillow. You wished that someone out there would fight for you...You thought of Hide, and you turned over, holding a hand up to the ceiling. "It's not fair that the only person who kind of cared is gone now."
Then you thought about how pathetic you sounded, moping around in self-pity, and you stopped crying. "Maybe I should just leave," you whispered softly. "I'm too weak to do anything the way I am now." Unable to come to a clear decision, you let yourself drift off to sleep, awaiting Kaneki and Touka's safe return.
***
When Touka came through the door, she didn't even look at you before going to her room and kicking the door shut. You wanted to talk to her and ask what happened, but hey, you were just glad that she was alive. You were secretly afraid that if you tried to get to close, she would push you away, and you were scared of losing one of the only friends you'd ever made.
Touka probably hates me. She's probably disgusted with me because I'm so weak. She probably doesn't really want to be friends with me but just pities me because I can't talk with anyone besides my twin and a little girl. I'm probably a burden to take care of. She doesn't really want me here. I'm just a waste of her time and space. I should just leave.
With only negative thoughts in mind, you looked down at your stomach and noticed that the bandages were still white. The bleeding must have stopped a while ago. With a stifled groan, you pulled yourself up to a seated position and swung your legs off the couch so your feet were barely touching the ground. Using the arm of the couch for support, you worked your way to a standing position, clutching your stomach in pain as you did so but unwilling to make a sound or give up because you knew how much of a burden you were to Touka, who already had more than enough to worry about. So you made your way to the door, pausing for a second, wondering if you should leave a note to at least thank her or apologize, but instead, you opened the door on silent hinges and limped out, closing the door softly behind you.
You walked over to your room, putting your ear to the door to listen in case Kaneki was back, but he wasn't yet, so you went inside and grabbed a long coat to wear and changed into some new pants. You couldn't get a new shirt because you were worried about ripping open the wounds on your chest and stomach, so you decided that the bandages and your outer layer of coat would have to do. You looked in the small mirror, adjusting your eye patch and making sure there was no blood on your face before you left your room and slipped out of Anteiku before anyone could notice your presence.
You let your feet take you wherever they wanted to go, and eventually, you found a bench in the middle of what looked like a park. You sat down carefully, wincing in pain, and leaned back against the bench, looking up at the sky that was just turning possession to the stars. You thought of all the sappy movies you used to watch where the separated friends or lovers would look up at the sky and think, That's the same sky that you're looking at, millions of miles away. Even though we're separated, we're no farther than one sky away. You thought of your old life. How many times had you looked at the sky like this, wishing things were different?
But even though you were looking at the same sky, there was so much more distance between yourself from back then and the life you were living right now. The distance was not night and day; it was life and death. You couldn't put miles on that.
You let a few tears drip down your cheeks, although you narrowed your eyes in pain and anguish. You didn't want to cry. You hated yourself for just being an emotional mess of self-pity every hour of every day, but what could you do? You had no purpose in your life. You had no people in your life. The world didn't need you, and it had taken your entire life - plus one world-shattering accident - for you to realize it. What was the point in living if every breath was just a sigh of misery?
Happiness...what was that again? What made you happy? You couldn't remember, not what used to make you happy or a memory of that emotion. Your world had been dark for so long that you were used to living in grey scale. You just couldn't find the point anymore, the point in any of it. If I died, who would miss me? you wondered. Kaneki, but he would just assume that he attracted bad luck and he'd feel guilty. Maybe Touka? We haven't known each other very long, and she seems really strong. I doubt she'd break down if I wasn't there. Hinami? I mean, she's a kid...Sunako? I haven't shown up to work in...weeks...It came as little of a shock to you when you realized how little of an impact you'd made on the world and on other people's lives. You considered just sitting on the bench forever and never going back to Anteiku, but that annoying little will to survive inside of you was forcing you to stand up again and turn towards Anteiku.
At the very least, I have to thank Mr. Yoshimura for his hospitality.
When you had only one tear left on your face, you looked back towards the park, desperately aching for someone to pull you out of the darkness you'd slowly but surely slipped into, but there was no one. At least, you thought there was no one, but then you saw Hide come strolling down the path wearing a hospital gown and frowning at what looked like a doctor's assistant. That's right. That building there is a hospital, you recalled.
"I told you, I'm fine," Hide said, looking annoyed, but the assistant shook his head.
"That may be technically true, but I can't release you for another two days. Safety precautions, you can be sure, but nonetheless..." He shrugged, indicating his position.
Hide was about to reply, but then he saw you, and he stopped walking, his mouth slightly open and he faltered. A sudden gust of cold, icy wind caused your coat to fly around you, revealing your bandaged stomach that seemed to be bleeding through again. His eyes widened, and he took a step towards you, but you turned and walked away.
"WAIT!" he yelled, and you heard a few steps, but then they stopped.
"I told you," the assistant said, sounding really pissed. "I can't let you wander off. I had to pull quite a few strings just to let you take a midnight walk, and if you go running off, my job could be compromised."
"Screw your job! I need to talk to her!"
"Nagachika Hideyoshi," he said in his authority voice. "You can't go around frightening people with your antics. Come; I'll have you return at once."
"But she's not a stranger, damn it! I know her!"
"But it doesn't look like she knows you. Come on now."
Their voices faded away as I kept walking, but I stopped, looking up at the moon once before continuing to Anteiku.
***
When you got back to Anteiku, you were freezing. You slipped inside the door and blew warm air onto your hands before you looked up, noticing the sudden halt in conversation. Mr. Yoshimura and the two employees (that you didn't know the name of because you never spoke to them) were looking at you with weird, concerned expressions.
"What's wrong?" you asked softly, clasping your hands together nervously. "Is Kaneki alright?"
Touka took three long strides towards you, glaring at you, and as she drew close, you flinched, closing your eyes, expecting her to slap you, but instead, you opened your eyes to find her hugging you.
"Huh?" you asked, startled. Besides when you turned into ghouls and Kaneki was commiserating with you, nobody had hugged you since...your mom died. "I...don't understand," you whispered.
Touka pulled back, holding you at arms length, her eyes narrowed. She swallowed, looking away before turning back to glare at you. "I was so worried," she said, as though blaming it on you.
"Worried about what?" you asked, looking around at the other members of Anteiku who were watching you.
"About you, you idiot. When I came back out, you were gone! I didn't know if you'd just taken a walk or if someone put you in their pocket and walked off with you!"
"Oh. I'm sorry," you said, looking at the ground. "I didn't think...that..."
"That I would notice?" she asked, still glaring at you but more intensely. Then she hugged you again. "You're such a hopeless pessimist, (y/n)." Then she grabbed you hand and started dragging you up the stairs. "C'mon. Girls' night in my room. And look at you! Reopening all of your wounds again. You're so troublesome."
Instead of shrinking back and feeling useless (imagine CRONA in Tokyo Ghoul!), you blushed and looked at the wall. Somehow, "troublesome" had stopped meaning a waste of existence to you. Touka's hand...it felt warm. You didn't want to leave Anteiku anymore. You had people - Kaneki, Touka, Hinami - and they were worth living for.
That night, you slept over in T0uka's room with Hinami. It was your first sleepover in your life with your first friends, and it was the best night ever.

~time skip~

When you woke up, you went downstairs and decided to try to get to know the other members of Anteiku. You talked to Irimi and Koma, who were both actually super nice. When you explained how you wanted to get to know the Anteiku staff better, Touka smirked and dragged you to Uta.
"I've heard a lot about you, Miss (y/n)," Uta said, grinning at you, and you turned to Touka with a look of confusion.
"But there's nothing really to tell," you said, deciding that Uta was just trying to be nice, but he shook his head at you.
"The brave girl who protected her friend from a ghoul attack? That would be you, right?" he asked, winking, and you blushed, looking at the ground.
"It wasn't really..."
"You like butterflies, right?" he asked, and your eyes snapped back up to him.
"How...how did you know?" you asked, your voice softening. You used to love butterflies, but with recent incidents, you hadn't had time to try to find any. Besides, it was way too cold for them at this time of year.
Uta just winked at you and handed you a box. "Open it."
With an apprehensive look, you accepted the gift and opened the box to find a mask in the shape of a butterfly wing.
"I decided to make you a half mask to start out. Try it on."
You did, and it fit perfectly! "Thanks, Uta."
"No problem," he said winking, and then he disappeared behind one of the many mannequins that made his shop somewhat terrifying.
***
You went back to Anteiku with Touka. "Thanks for helping me today."
"Sure thing," she said, laughing, and you loved the sound.
"Did you tell him that I like butterflies?" you asked softly, and she shrugged, grinning.
"Maybe...maybe not..."

~time skip~

A week had passed since you'd gotten your mask, and by now, you were opening up a little bit to Irimi and Koma. You'd seen Yomo hovering by the entrance once, and he nodded at you (accomplishment!). You'd thought that things were looking up, that you could almost pretend you were human...
...but then...Hide. Sometimes, he was all you could think about. Is he okay? The doctor said he wasn't hurt badly...I wonder if he's thinking about me right now? And all the false security you'd built up by making friends in Anteiku vanished, leaving you cold and alone. Sometimes Touka would look at you weird when you spaced out, but you couldn't talk to her about Hide. She wouldn't understand. She'd grown up a ghoul, and although she had a human friend, friendship just wasn't the same as whatever the relationship between you and Hide was. The closer two people are, the more vulnerable, the more susceptible to pain. Happiness if fleeting, but pain magnifies on itself.
You tried to hide your inner loneliness by talking with the others, but nobody really knew what to talk about with you. Irimi was polite but didn't know you well enough, and Koma just kept going on about the legend of the Devil Ape. Mr. Yoshimura just smiled, and Yomo was mainly silent. Uta came by every now and then to say hi to everyone, but he never stayed long. Mr. Nishio joined Anteiku, but you avoided him for the most part. Then Kaneki would come back from wherever he'd been - it seemed that he was trying to go back to college for a bit - but as soon as he got back and started talking with the others, you slipped away, going to your room. If they have Kaneki, they don't really need me. We're twins, after all. Twice the quantity, half the value. If you have one, you don't really need the other. It's just redundant.
And nobody seemed to notice. Touka would have, but she was also going to school and was often gone or busy with something. Sometimes, she even went to hang out with her human friend.
You became more and more lonely under a facade of happiness...

~time skip
~
A few days later, you were drinking coffee in the shop after hours. It was close to 10:00, and Irimi and Koma had already left. It was a rare occasion, because both Kaneki and Touka were there and drinking with you, although they were talking more to each other about colleges than to you.
"(Y/n)?"
"Huh?" you asked, blinking.
"You were just spacing out for a second there," Touka said, looking worried.
"Oh," you said, closing your eyes and smiling apologetically. "Sorry about that. I must be tired."
"Do you want to go up and sleep?" Kaneki asked. You knew that he had good intentions; he was just trying to be kind and considerate, like always, but no, you didn't want to leave. You wanted him to talk to you and you wanted Touka to laugh with you.
Selfish. You flinched, staring at the table. You're being so selfish. You know that they both care about you. They don't have to make the world revolve around you. Besides, as little as you get to see them, they hardly get to see each other, either, and it must be nice to have someone to talk about school with. You should just give them some time to relax. You smiled apologetically again, less enthusiastic than last time, and you stood up. "Yeah, you're probably right."
"Are you sure?" Touka asked, frowning as though she sensed your thoughts, but you nodded, fake smiling. She shrugged and nodded. "All right then. See you tomorrow."
You were just putting your half-empty cup in the sink when you heard the door open. "Who's-"
Suddenly, all the lights shattered, raining down glass, and although you should have crouched down and covered your head, you let the glass fall, slicing your skin in a few places, your head tilted questionably as you waited to see who had arrived. A boy with blue hair stepped into the room, his boots crunching on glass. He watched you watching him, but you didn't react. He smirked at you as another man entered from behind him.
"I want that one," the other man said, and even though you should have run away or screamed or done something, you just watched them with numb eyes.
"Wait your turn," the blue-haired guy said. He looked to be about twenty, but something told you he was younger. "I have to drop off my calling card first."
You saw Touka stand up, eyes narrowed and kagune out. "Ayato," she said, her eyes widening. She looked shaken, but why? Did she know him?
"Hello, sister," he said, grinning, and she got over her surprise and glared at him.
"What are you doing here, Ayato?"
"That's no way to greet me," he said, and before your eyes could process, his kagune whipped out and sent Touka flying into the wall. Kaneki looked like he'd already been sent flying into a wall and was unconscious. There's no one here but you. You have to stop him.
Just as Ayato was about to hit Touka again, you stepped in front of her, accepting the blow for her, and as your kagune came out, one of your eyes changed. Ayato stopped his attack, looking interested.
"A one-eyed ghoul?" he asked contemplatively.
"(Y/n)...don't..." Touka coughed out, but you didn't listen to her. You just stood in front of her, shielding her as the other man stepped up beside Ayato.
"You shouldn't hit your sister," you said softly, and Ayato sneered at you.
"What do you know?" he asked, lashing out at you. You managed to block a few of his blows, but his kagune was stronger than yours and he was more skilled in using it. You eventually crumpled to your knees, bleeding in various places.
Ayato broke a window and stepped out. "C'mon," he said to his companion.
"Okay," he said, "but I need a new one."
"Fine," Ayato snapped. "Take the girl. Whatever. I don't care. Let's just get out of here already."
The man picked you up, slinging you over his shoulder, but you had no strength left to resist.
"(Y/n)!" Touka called out, using her kagune and the last of her strength to try and stop him, but his kagune knocked her out in one blow, or if she wasn't unconscious, she couldn't get back up.
With that, he stepped out the window and disappeared with Ayato into the night, taking you with him.
***
When you regained consciousness, you blinked open your heavy eyelids, wanting to rub your eyes, but you couldn't move your hands. When you looked around in panic, you realized that you were in a dark room, bound to a chair with your hands chained to the arms of said chair. The scene scared you enough without you noticing the tray of what looked like doctor's instruments and small tools.
You heard footsteps, and your eyes traced the arrival of the man who had dragged you out of Anteiku. "I'm known as Yamori," he said, tilting his head, his eyes slightly crazed. "But you may know me better as Jason."
13th Ward's Jason? Didn't I heard reports about him on the news a few months ago? You tried to hide the fear in your eyes, but it was pointless and both of you knew it.
He went so far as to laugh as he drew closer, walking around you and coming up behind you to whisper in your ear. "I chained your hands, but I don't like to seal off your mouth. What's the fun if I can't hear the screams?"
You started shaking, and you heard him laugh as he drew back, taking slow steps towards the tray with all of the scary-looking objects.
"You're a good one. The last one - he didn't want to scream for me. So you know what I did?" he asked, turning towards you with a pair of pliers in his hand. "Do you know what I did to him?" he repeated, and you shook your head.
"N-no," you whispered, afraid to make eye contact with him but just as terrified of the consequences if you didn't.
Yamori grinned, his eyes burning with a weird passion that could only be seen as sadistic. "I sewed his mouth shut with piano wire. Don't make me do the same to you."
You stifled a horrified murmur even as you thought about what he said. I'm not even strong enough to resist screaming. As he came closer, you flinched, shivering, and you tried to press farther back into the seat, but no matter you invisible you wished yourself to be, Yamori still grew closer with every step, and the pliers looked bigger and bigger. When he was only a foot away, he took one of your hands in his in almost a delicate gesture.
"Let's begin," he said politely.
And so the pain began.
And so the screams began.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You regained consciousness with the help of Mr. Yoshimura gently prodding your shoulder. "Are you hurt, Kaneki?" he asked softly, and you blinked, disoriented.
"What...what happened?" you asked, raising a hand to the back of your head and wincing when you felt a slight bump.
For the first time since you'd met him, Mr. Yoshimura frowned, a grave look set into his elderly face. "That's precisely what we're trying to piece together."
From across the room, you saw Yomo helping Touka up to a seated position. You stood up, bracing yourself against the wall and keeping one hand on the back of your head as you made your way over to her with a concerned look. "Are you okay?"
She looked at you with an expression akin to disgust, and as she stood up, she glared at you. The harshness in your eyes surprised you. "Don't you dare give a damn about me," she said, trembling due to a lack of strength. She leaned against the counter for support, her eyes burning and her attitude at full aggression mode. "Not when..." She cut off, looking at the broken window. You followed her eyes but couldn't identify the significance in the gesture.
Mr. Yoshimura approached the trio and focused on Touka. "What do you recall from earlier?"
She nodded as though having expected this and let her hostility turn into pure purpose. "(Y/n), Kaneki, and I were having a cup of coffee when Ayato and some other ghoul came into the shop." Although she didn't flinch when she spoke her dark brother's name, she seemed to briefly hesitate before mentioning him. "Ayato was...too strong for me," she admitted, glaring at the ground, but then she turned to you. "Why do you have to be so weak? Why couldn't you protect her?"
To your utter shock, there looked to be tears in her eyes. "Please, Touka," you said, holding up your hands as if to sooth her. "Just calm down. Would drinking something help?"
Smack. Her hand left a burning sensation on your face, and you were so shocked by her slap that all you could do was blink off the sting of her hand before asking in a shaky voice, "Why?"
"Touka-" Mr. Yoshimura said, but she ignored him, taking a step closer to you. Yomo just crossed his arms.
"I'll tell you why," she said, her eyes slightly glassy as if resisting tears. "Because you're more worried about my damn temperament than about your sister's safety, and I'm just some friend while she's all that's left of your family? How could you be so awful?" she asked, backing away from you, although you were sure that she would've liked to beat you up if she had any strength left.
"What about (y/n)?" you asked, looking around as though only just noticing the absence of her presence. "Didn't she go upstairs to sleep last night?"
"No," Touka said, staring at the ground with what looked like self-loathing. "She never made it. That bastard took her with him."
The window suddenly made sense to you. "Which bastard?" you asked, your voice rising slightly in pitch. It can't be...they can't have taken her. This must be someone's sick joke...No, having us turn into ghouls was a sick joke. This is just cruel. I know that I've failed somewhat as a brother, but there were reasons I couldn't be around all the time...I had to go to school, for one...But I never intended to avoid her, not like how Hide thought I was. I never...I never wanted this...any of this...Why did it turn out this way? Is it my fault?
***
"Yamori," she whispered, and if possible, Yomo frowned even more than before as he turned to Mr. Yoshimura.
"If it's Yamori..."
"I know," Mr. Yoshimura said, deep in thought.
You turned to him, your eyes wide and desperate. "Please," you said in a pleading tone. "We need to get her back."
Mr. Yoshimura nodded but didn't lose the serious expression. "Yamori and Ayato are members of Aogiri, a violent ghoul organization that opposes the law enforcement and lets its members do as they please. A lot of powerful ghouls are drawn to that type of pursuit."
"Why are you telling me this?" you asked, not really comprehending everything that Mr. Yoshimura was trying to get across.
"Because I believe that your twin sister is being held in the Aogiri headquarters, which means that getting her back will be extremely difficult."
"But we have to rescue her!" you said, not believing what he was telling you. "We can't just abandon her! She's my sister!" By this point, tears were streaming down your face, but you made no effort to conceal them. You noticed Irimi, Koma, Nishiki, and Hinami all huddled by the stairs as though having been called on emergency notice, but none of them dared to draw closer. Hinami was crying, and Irimi looked upset. Nishiki looked like he was blaming himself a bit for his past actions against (y/n), and Koma just looked serious.
You drew your eyes away from them and fell onto your knees before Mr. Yoshimura. "(Y/n)...you all didn't know her before we came here, but she was always alone. I know I haven't always been there to watch over her, but seeing her at Anteiku, talking to everyone, smiling...laughing..." You didn't look at Touka, but you were almost talking directly to her now. "She made the first friends she's ever had here. Did you know that she's never been invited to someone else's house or apartment before? She's never had a sleepover, never gotten presents from anyone accept me and our mom before she died, never started a conversation with someone just because she wanted to get to know them." Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Touka finally releasing the tears she'd been holding in as she realized just how much of an impact she'd had on (y/n) through even such a simple friendship, but you weren't finished. "I knew that she was lonely, but I wasn't there for her when she needed me. I was never...there. Always somewhere else, with someone else, because her loneliness affected me to the point where I had to go out and talk with my school friends to drive it away. I knew how she felt, and I avoided her so I didn't have to feel that same loneliness." You looked up at Mr. Yoshimura with a fierce gaze behind your tears. "But Anteiku, she experienced all of that! She made friends and talked with everyone. She's as much a part of Anteiku as any of us. I know that going against Aogiri could mean death, but I'm going! I'm know that I'm weak, which is why I need your help. You wouldn't abandon one of your one, would you? Not when she still has so much yet to experience?"
Mr. Yoshimura paused before holding out a hand to help you stand up. "There was never an 'if' about rescuing (y/n). I just wanted you to be aware of the possible repercussions that taking action may cause. Are you sure that you wish to come with us?"
"Us?" you asked as you stood, and Yomo nodded as if to say that he was going, without a doubt. Just then, Uta walked in the door that was already hanging on its hinges.
"Count me in," he said, his ghoul eyes already activating. "We can't be leaving our precious little butterfly in the hands of such barbarians, can we?"
"If you thought that you could stop me from coming with," Touka said, eyeing Mr. Yoshimura particularly, who didn't return her look, "you're dead wrong. Nobody can just abduct one of my family, not if I have a say in it." Mr. Yoshimura just sighed, probably thinking, Rebellious teenagers.
"Thank you all," you said, bowing low, but Mr. Yoshimura raised you back up.
"We will assist you in whatever way we can, however small that may be. However, due to our condition," he said, nodding towards Touka and yourself, "we can't leave immediately. I suggest waiting a day for recovery, and we'll make our attack tomorrow night. Until then, sleep and train with Yomo."
"Thank you, sir," you said as he proceeded to walk past the other staff and to his room upstairs, presumably to prepare a plan of attack. When he was out of sight, you turned to the two people standing beside you. "Does (y/n) have a day?" you whispered fearfully.
Yomo just walked away without replying, which answered your question in the worst way possible.
Then Touka, moving towards the stairs, stopped and said, "It might be worse that way."

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
"...993...986...979..."
"Louder."
You screamed as your fingernail was torn off with those blood-stained pliers that you'd come to know intimately.
"You know, one of the lovely things about you is your regenerative ability," Yamori remarked, sounding almost curious as he ripped out another nail and received another scream for his efforts. "I wonder how much you can endure. It looks like you won't break as easily as my last toy. Good. I don't like toys that don't last long."
"...972...965..." Your voice faded into the darkness, interrupted intermittently by your screams.

~from Touka's POV 2nd person~
You were supposed to be resting and recovering. Screw that. Who could sleep when (y/n) was suffering somewhere, and part of it was your fault? Biting down on your teeth to stop yourself from letting out a constant stream of profanity and curses, you swept up the shop, fixing its appearance. Since you didn't have an extra window on hand, you just ended up taking a sheet and putting it over the window as a temporary replacement. With that done, you set the broom aside and walked over to the door - now reattached to its hinges - and went outside to make sure that the sign was flipped over to the "CLOSED" side. Once that was fixed, you started to go back in, but someone grabbed your wrist.
You turned quickly, ready to break his wrist and snap his neck in one smooth motion, but when you saw that it was just (y/n)'s old friend, you relaxed, and by relaxed, you just restrained yourself from killing him and instead glared at him in annoyance. "You want to let go now?"
He smiled with his eyes shut, laughing and letting go of your wrist like it was some casual thing. He ruffled the hair on the back of his head with his right hand and opened his eyes, and although his demeanor was carefree, his eyes were oddly serious.
"What do you want?" you asked, crossing your arms and analyzing his body language, but mainly that odd look in his eyes.
"Oh, nothing really," he said, still grinning. Which is a lie? His manner, or the look in his eyes? "It's just that I was going to come in for a cup of coffee, but you're closed today." He tilted his head, eyes shut again, the very image of innocence. "Did something happen?"
You tried to gauge how much of a lie you could pull off, because you definitely weren't telling him what had really happened. You were pretty sure that (y/n) had preferred to keep this side of her life hidden from him, and you weren't about to ruin that for her. "We're just a little understaffed at the moment."
He opened his eyes, and you caught a flash of that look again. "Is that so? Sorry for asking. I was just a little worried when I saw the broken window."
You eyed each other, both serious. He's more observant than I thought, far from the idiotic naivette that he tries to fake. "Yeah. I was sweeping and wasn't being very careful. There's glass all over the floor, and..." You shrugged, nodding towards the "CLOSED" sign as if to sum it all up.
"I thought you said you were closed because you didn't have enough staff?" he questioned, sounding concerned, but you knew by now to stay focused on his eyes, which were drop dead serious. He knew he had you cornered.
It was an obvious tactic to pull, but you went for the "distraction" maneuver anyway. "Are your injuries all right?"
He paused before answering, as though having gleamed that you were reluctant to tell him the truth about the shop and that you wouldn't be doing so any time soon. Then, "I'm fine. I was only supposed to be in the hospital for a few days with my cracked rib, but then I tried to get out early and they made a huge fuss. When I got back to my dorm, my roommate wouldn't let me out of his sight for a week. Total lock down," he said, back to his grinning self. "Anyhow, enough about me. Are the Kaneki twins around?"
You smirked at him. Finally showing your true colors, are you? But I don't get the sense that you're bad, so why are you so deceptive? Just who are you trying to hide your intentions from? "I knew you weren't here for a cup of coffee," you said, raising an eyebrow as you racked your brain for a way to subtly ditch the kid, but he looked pretty stubborn.
He shrugged, just smiling as always. "Maybe both. So, are they in?"
"Maybe. Depends why you need to see them," you said, stalling while trying not to seem like you were hiding something. Playful banter, you forced yourself to repeat in your head. Just keep him occupied.
Hide looked at the ground as though debating something, and when he gave a small smile, you realized that this was his real smile, a bittersweet one that you'd never seen on his face before, unlike his normal, friendly smiles. I just can't understand this kid. Without looking up, he said quietly, "Maybe it's better that I don't see them." He paused, looking up with that look in his eyes again. "Please. Don't tell them that I came here today, okay?" Then he gave another normal smile. "I'll catch them some other time. No need to mention me stopping bye." He took a few steps back and waved. "See you later." Then he was blending back into the crowded streets of Tokyo.
Weird. Just who is he? you wondered before going back inside. You could think about him later. Right now, you had to start getting ready for tonight.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You winced as you fell on the ground yet again. For the past hour, you'd been forcing yourself to get back up every time, but you didn't think you could do it anymore.
"What's wrong?" Yomo asked in his low, seldom-heard voice.
"It's just that there's no way I can learn how to defend myself and even attack other ghouls before tonight."
Yomo hardened his jaw, crossing his arms as he looked down at you. "Is that the same determination as what you showed this morning?"
Without meaning to, you started crying. "It's just that it seems so impossible-"
Without warning, Yomo kicked you in the face so you flew back into the wall of the alley beside Anteiku where you were training in secret. "How can you allow yourself to cry?" he asked, taking a step closer, and you had to refrain from scooting back. "How can you cry over your internal doubts when your sister is no doubt struggling much more than you are right now?" he asked, tilting his head as he glared at you. "If you think you're feeling pain right now, I can guarantee you that she's feeling it ten thousand times more strongly than you are." He paused, and his voice grew deathly quiet. "If it's so hopeless, why not give up?"
"Because..." you said, struggling to find a way to phrase it without trembling out of fear. Yomo is terrifying when he wants to be. Glad he's on our side. "Because she's my sister."
Yomo went to kick you again, but you rolled to your right, avoiding the brunt of the blow but still getting clipped in your left shin. "That's not enough."
"What?" you asked, shocked, and that gave Yomo another opening. Once again, you just barely avoided his strike.
"The word 'sister' just describes a familial relationship that requires no actual emotion to be true. She is not your sister because of some action you took. Tell me what she means to you," he said, following through with a punch, but you were expecting it this time. You threw yourself into a roll and came up in a crouched position on the other side of him, using a wall to stand up. While he was still turning, you launched yourself at him, putting all of your heart into one strike - a punch to the face.
As you were flying towards him, you said through gritted teeth, "She means the world to me, and I need to get her back so I can show her that I finally realized it."
As you said the last word, your fist connected with his face, and you almost fell back when you saw his expression.
Yomo was...smiling.
What?!
"Good. Now keep that spirit and determination for tonight, and we'll get her back for sure," he said, ruffling your hair in an affectionate way as he walked past you towards the back door and into Anteiku.

~Touka's POV 2nd person~
You saw Yomo come in through the back door. "So," you said, still washing dishes without meeting his eyes. "You finally let him get in a punch?"
"Yeah, but I was expecting a little more. You can flick me harder than he can," Yomo said as he disappeared in search of Mr. Yoshimura.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You looked at the people around you, battling between a sense of calm and a sense of panic. It was an hour before midnight (no, I can't just say 11:00 P.M.!), and Anteiku had assembled for the fight. Yomo was there, nodding towards you in acknowledgement, and Touka stood off by herself, her short hair whipping around her face as her aura's danger level skyrocketed. She looked like she was ready for the fight of her life and was willing to dish out the pain as long as she was able. Compared to the two of them, you looked like a nice, harmless ladybug. (unless you're the red ones, because I think they bite ><)
Mr. Yoshimura was there, looking as peaceful as always despite what was to come. Right now, he was explaining the structure of the attack. "I want Touka and Kaneki to pair up. Watch out for each other. The ghouls in Aogiri don't fight to wound or injure; they fight to kill, and despite Anteiku's stance towards violence, tonight, you are expected to do the same if you wish to survive and bring back (y/n)." He turned towards the others. "The rest of you, split up and hit the target areas I pointed out earlier. We don't have enough intel to field much of a guess as to where she's being held, so we're going to have to cover a lot of ground and search every room as we go." He turned to the corner of the room, where Hinami was sitting and watching quietly. "I'm going to have to ask you to stay home for tonight for your own safety. Can you watch Anteiku in our absence? It's a big task."
She thought about it and nodded, her eyes dark and serious. "Bring (y/n) back," she said, her eyes wet but no tears coming out.
"We will," he said kindly, bending down to pat her head. He stood up, looking at us. "It's time to go."

~time skip~

You were all crouched around the edge of the perimeter of the complex that Mr. Yoshimura said was home to Aogiri. You'd all been ready to go and attack when suddenly, CCG forces came out of everywhere and you were all forced to hide. Mr. Yoshimura paused to observe them before he turned to the group.
"We can use the CCG as a distraction. Let them handle most of the fighting. Remember, your mission is not to engage in combat but rather to find (y/n) and retrieve her as quickly as possible. Don't look for fights when there are none to be found, but don't hesitate if fighting is the only option. Be smart and be safe." He paused. "That is all the advice I can give you. Now go and bring back (y/n)."
Everyone nodded and simultaneously disappeared as they got in position. Touka glared at you. "C'mon, Kaneki, unless you want me to drag you."
"I'm coming, I'm coming," you said as you ran to catch up with her. "Is attacking from the front a good option? Because I mean, it's going to be hard to get it-"
Just as you were saying that, Juuzou launched a motorcycle into the air, jumping off midair and letting it crash like a welcoming present for Aogiri.
"Holy s***."
"Yeah."
You and Touka used the distraction to sneak around the crazy, scythe-wielding kid and surge into the building, sticking to the shadows and avoiding Aogiri members. One time, you came across two members by themselves, and before you could do anything, Touka ran up to them and took both of them down. "Here," she said, tossing you the cloak of one of them as she put the other on over her clothes. "This will help us move more quickly."
"Are they...dead?" you asked, not quite reaching out to accept the cloak as you peered at the fallen Aogiri.
"Who would you rather have dead? Them, or (y/n)?"
You took the cloak.
Both of you continued running, not stopping to hide when other members came by anymore. With the hoods up, you looked like every other one of them. The only problem would be avoiding CCG now. Oh well. Lesser of two evils, I guess, you thought, you heart thumping in your chest as you ran. Please, (y/n), you called out, feeling the connection between you and her growing stronger. Please be all right.

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
1000...993...986...979...You weren't sure anymore if you were saying the numbers or if they were just swirling around in what was left of your mind, because that was all you had left - the barest chain of sanity represented by those numbers, and pain. Pain, you had in abundance.
Yamori was gone right now. You weren't sure where he was. You didn't even really care. You were just glad that he wasn't there, because if he was, you knew that he would bring the pain back with him.
You looked down at your hands, stained with blood. Your blood. I've got some of that left, too.
"You've got me," Rize said, adjusting her glasses as she smiled calmly at you. You didn't care if she was a hallucination. What was the difference between real and mental when you weren't sure what the difference was anymore? "Let me ask you a question, (y/n). When your mom died, who did you blame?"
"No one. It was no one's fault," you said numbly, your eyes blank as you watched flowers blooming around her.
"Lies. Look inside of yourself. Dig down to your real emotions. Do you want to be this weak? Then do as you've always done. Lie to yourself. Put the needs of other people before the needs of yourself because you're worthless compared to them."
"Shut up."
"But isn't that what you do? Isn't that what your precious mother trained you to do?"
"She's dead."
"She is. And who's fault is that?"
You didn't respond.
"Well? How do you really feel? About your mother, about your aunt? Your mother..." Rize said, trailing around you and brushing her hands through your hair. "She was weak, just like you are. She lied to herself, and she taught you to lie to yourself in the same way. When she died, how did it feel?" She sensed your hesitance. "If you lie to yourself now, you will always be weak."
You ground your teeth together, straining at the manacles that bound you. "I...I..."
"Go on."
"I hated her," you whispered, your throat ruined from hours of screaming into nothingness. "I hated her so much."
"Good. Keep going."
"She was weak. She let other people push her around. Maybe that's okay if you want to live like that. Maybe it's not. But she had a responsibility. She had us." You trailed off, letting your true emotions out of your heart. This is why I became so lonely and twisted, because I shut all of my dark emotions away, where they just grew and grew and grew...I became afraid that everyone would leave me, and I wasn't strong enough to make them stay, so I didn't get close to anyone...
"Exactly," Rize said, somehow picking up on your thoughts. Maybe you'd spoken them out loud, or maybe everything was a figment of your imagination. It didn't matter anymore. Rize turned around so she was looking you in the eyes. "And what about your aunt? What do you think of her?"
"She's a b****," you said without hesitation, and Rize's soft laughter filled your mind.
"Well said."
***
"Be honest with yourself, (y/n)," Rize whispered.
"I hate it...how I fade into the background. Kaneki...he always had the ability to overshadow me, but...I used to think that was just how it was supposed to be. If I couldn't cast my own shadow, why not live in someone else's?" you whispered, and Rize caressed your face. You were still hanging limply from the chair that you were bound to, clothes torn and soaked in red, hair knotted and tangled. You used to think that Yamori was just going to cut it all off, but he used it as leverage to hold your head back as he sliced small patches of skin from your neck. Thanks to your ghoul abilities, however, the skin simply regrew over the time he was away, so when he came back, you were once more whole and ready for further torture. At least, full in body. Your mind and spirit just kept taking the hits as your flesh was carved off, as your nails were ripped out...
"Don't you see?" Rize whispered, pulling your hair up and into her gentle hands as she twisted it like a mother would into a bun and the nape of your neck before letting it fall back. "Lies create your weakness. The truth can free you. You are only weak because you caged yourself. Once you leave your cage, your limits disappear. You don't have to be weak, (y/n). You don't have to be sitting in that chair. You don't have to be waiting for your next torture section. You don't have to wait to scream your throat out, let it heal, and scream more. You don't have to suffer as you are now, if only you leave the cage you imprisoned yourself in."
"Weakness..." you repeated, staring at the ground in front of you, and then looking at your hands. "I don't want...to be weak anymore." You met Rize's eyes, your voice growing slightly louder. "I refuse to be weak."
"Well done, (y/n). I knew you had it in you," she said, smiling as she touched the flowers surrounding her. Then she looked at you, tilting her head as her hair shifted in the breeze. "After all, part of me is you..."
"And part of you is me," I finished for her.
"We are one..."
"And the same." As you said that, you accepted Rize's presence in you - and your ghoul side - and she and you merged. I will accept my life as a ghoul to stop being so weak. There's no fighting my inner demons if we're one and the same. With that, your hair changed, starting from the roots and traveling down as it became a gleaming white. It was no longer knotted and bloodstained but silky and smooth, white as snow. Just then, you heard the door opening, closing, and approaching footsteps.
"You look a little different," Yamori said, going over to the instrument tray. "But no matter. Where shall we start today?" he asked, picking up the kitchen knife in one hand and a scalpel in the other.
Without speaking, you broke the chains on your hands and feet and stood up, massaging your chaffed skin. You looked him in the eyes and tilted your head, cracking your knuckles and stretching your fingers. "You'd better start counting," you whispered, taking a step towards him.
He looked confused. "Why are you getting up? We haven't had our fun today."
"1000." You took a step closer. "993." Another step. "986." By now, you were only three steps away from him.
"Toys shouldn't play with their master," Yamori said in a growl. "Masters play with their toys." With that, he lunged with the kitchen knife, hitting you dead-on in the heart.
"979." Without pausing or blinking, you carefully pulled it out and let it drop on the ground. "972." He tried to stab you with the scalpel, but you calmly grabbed his wrist and broke it in your hand, catching the scalpel as it fell. He didn't make any sound or indication that he even realized the condition of his wrist. "965." In one smooth motion, you took the scalpel and stabbed him in the center of his right eye. He screamed, his good hand going up to pull the knife out, but you grabbed his arm and snapped the forearm. Then you brought out your kagune and attacked him, all without shifting your facial expression.
When he was one the ground and defenseless, mainly a mess of blood and broken bones, you tilted your head. "What number was I on? I lost count."
"9-958," he gasped, and you drove your kagune into his stomach, not blinking as dark blood spurted out in gushing rivulets to coat his barely-breathing carcass in the sticky red fluid.
"Keep counting," you said, your voice dangerously low. "I can't hear you."
He screamed again as you sliced him. "951! 944! 937!" He was struggling desperately, but you weren't finished.
***
"783..." He took his last breath.
"Pathetic," you said, your voice soft but indifferent. "Weak." You bent down and took a bite, knowing that you were going to have to grow even stronger for whatever future you chose for yourself. After a few minutes, you walked out of the room, stretching your fingers and licking the blood around your lips.
The instrument tray was empty.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You and Touka kept checking every room until you came to one with larger doors. "That's the last room on this floor," you said, you voice shaking. You'd seen carnage and bloodshed in most of the rooms, and you'd watched Touka inflict some as well. You, of course, weren't much of a help to her whatsoever, and you knew that the pairing had only been made to make sure that you didn't die with the first step that you took, but you still pointed out obvious details to feel like you were being useful.
Touka didn't say anything, just nodded. She was obviously tired and low on energy from all of the fighting she'd already done (no thanks to you), but she soldiered on, opening the massive doors. What waited inside was more sickening than anything you'd seen thus far.
A partially decayed - or eaten? - corpse of a ghoul was lying on the floor, recently dead it seemed. He was covered in far more blood than any individual, ghouls included, could stand to lose if keen on surviving, and impaling him were dozens of objects that had been thrust into him, penetrating the skin. He looked like a terrifying voodoo doll with all the pins stuck in, only usually, voodoo dolls weren't missing a limb or two. You felt like throwing up, and although you tried to stop yourself (especially in front of Touka), you ended up retching in the corner.
"Who could...do something like this?" you asked when you were finished.
Her eyes were dark, and she left the room without answering your question.
It was probably better that way.

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
After exiting the room Yamori had tortured you in, you made your way, barefoot, down the halls, led by some instinct that you couldn't quite place. On the way there, you came across multiple groups of Aogiri members, mostly in 3's or 4's, which you quickly destroyed. The old you would have been disgusted and horrified with the efficient death you bestowed upon them, but it was all clear to you now. To be weak was to wait and hope luck was on your side; to be strong meant you took action and made luck your own personal b****.
So you went on, making your way up floor by floor in a methodical manner, driven by instinct alone and running on a chillingly calm and scary sense of calculation.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
Still feeling sick, you followed Touka. More and more often, you came across small teams of Aogiri that had been slaughtered very recently.
"Follow me," Touka said, moving swiftly towards a door marked STAIRS by a sign that was tilted and on the verge of falling off.
"But don't we have to find (y/n) first?" you asked, pausing just beyond the door.
Touka hesitated before turning to face you. "Kaneki..."
"What if she's further down this hallway? We haven't checked all the rooms yet," you said, brows furrowed in confusion. "What aren't you telling me?"
Touka turned, letting the door to the stairwell slam shut. "Kaneki. That room. Do you remember it?"
You immediately knew which room she was talking about about. "Yeah." You shivered, still terrified by the inhumanity and cruelty of what you'd seen.
"What did you see in there?" she asked, avoiding eye contact.
"The man..." you began, stopping. No need to go into further detail when the image was seated into both of your memories.
"Do you remember the chair in the center of the room?" Touka asked, still not looking at you.
"The chair..." You tried to picture the room in your head. "I saw it, but after I saw him...it didn't seem as important."
Touka nodded before speaking. "There were...chains...attached to the chair," she said, finally looking at you.
"Were there?" you asked apprehensively, still not understanding whatever point Touka was trying to get across to you.
"Kaneki...I think your sister was being held in there."
You froze, shaking your head. "No...no, you can't be...you can't be right. That man..." Touka didn't say anything, just gave you time to process. "Well, if she was there," you choked out, struggling for every word, "then where is she now?"
Touka stared at you hard. "Kaneki. (Y/n) killed the man in there, and all of the dead Aogiri we've seen in this hallway can't be a coincidence."
You shook your head, eyes wide in horror and disbelief. "No...no, (y/n) would never do something like that."
"You saw that room, Kaneki." Touka looked away. "You saw all of the tools stuck in him. That room is where your sister was tortured. To survive something like that...it changes you." When you didn't respond, she grabbed your hand and dragged you into the stairwell. "Look. She's cutting a path floor-by-floor to the roof. If we take the stairs, we should be able to beat her there and intercept her."
You stumbled up after her, silent. Is it true, (y/n)?
***
You followed Touka up the stairs and almost ran into her when she stopped in the doorway to the roof.
"Ayato," she said, taking here steps towards him and placing herself between the two of you.
"Touka." Ayato watched her for a second before grinning with a malicious gleam in his eyes. "You're still hanging around with the losing team, huh?" He nodded towards you, smirking and laughing meanly. "He's the weakest twig at your cafe that I've seen so far. Even the girl was stronger than him."
"Girl?" you asked, ignoring Touka's glare as you took a few steps towards Ayato, no longer blocked by Touka. "Did she have long black hair and (e/c) eyes?"
Ayato smirked. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not that great with the little details. But now that you mention it," he said, pausing and tilting his head as if in deep thought. He smirked. "She looked a lot like you."
"What did you do to her?" you asked, grabbing him by the shoulders.
Almost before you made contact, you were propelled back into the brick wall, hitting it hard and feeling it in every bone of your body. A few bricks were knocked loose from the old structure.
"Didn't your parents tell you to look, don't touch?" He asked, shooting you a look of pure disgust.
"They're dead," you said, brushing little bits of rubble from your shoulders and shaking the dust out of your hair.
Ayato sneered at you. "Really? Well go cry yourself a f**king river. Nobody cares if your family is dead. It's not like you're the only f**king orphan in the entire world."
"Ayato," Touka said in warning, her eyes burning. "You've crossed the line. Don't go taking out your pain on others."
He laughed bitterly, his eyes mad. "You think I have one flying f**k about the weaklings who raised us? Hell no. They were weak, and the only option for the weak is to die by the hands of the strong. Watch and learn, Sister." He turned his rage back to you, and as you stood up, you brought out your kagune, trying to look strong, but Ayato saw right through you. "You're pissing yourself right now, aren't you?" he mocked, hitting you over and over again, ruthless and relentless in his attacks. "No," you finally got out, ducking his kagune and standing up to punch him in the face.
"Why does a weakling like you think you can take on someone as strong as me?"
"Because," you said, bleeding from a dozens wounds, "I've got someone to fight for, someone I need to protect."
A transient look of shock crossed Ayato's face before he hid it with his classic smirk. "If you're protecting someone, I'd love to see how much of a weakling they are to need your help."
As if summoned, the door to the roof slowly creaked open.
***
(Y/n) stepped out from behind the door, and her name died on your lips. She's so different, you were thinking. Her hair was white now, and her eyes, usually kind, were now seemingly apathetic behind the butterfly mask Uta had made for her. What did they do to you? Is this all my fault? And worse than that, you actually asked yourself, Is that my sister? For one horrifying moment, you looked at her and had to wonder what type of monster she was to have killed all of those ghouls, especially the one in that room...There was a new distance between the two of you, to the point where you couldn't even understand her anymore, and that thought terrified you. She's my little twin sister! What am I thinking? I don't care what she's done. She's always going to be my little sister, no matter how many people she kills or how much trauma she's suffered because I couldn't protect her. Whoever she is, I will accept her always. "(Y/n)!" you cried out, turning towards her, but in that moment, Ayato seized the opportunity and used his kagune to slam you to the ground.
"Where do you think you're going, you twig? I'm not finished with you yet, not until I snap you in half," he growled, stabbing you in the chest with his kagune.
You blinked, trying to make the black spots go away, but it was no use. I've lost too much blood..."Touka," you coughed out, blood staining your lips. "Take (y/n)...and get out of here."
"Kaneki!" she yelled, angry and scared all at once, but in the time it took for her to take a single step towards you, Ayato was already thrown off of his feet. He flew roughly 10 feet through the air before regaining his balance and skidding back on his feet, upright and pissed. Did Touka do that? No, she couldn't have. Then...?
Standing in front of you was (y/n), her kagune out. Even though hers was almost the exact same as yours, her kagune looked a touch more feminine, reminding you of butterfly wings. She spread it wide, as though shielding you, and tilted her head, watching Ayato.
"It's no use," you whispered to her. "Hurry, and get out of her while you still can. There's no way you can beat Ayato," you were in the middle of saying, but then she completely skewed your expectations. Ayato shot dozens of razor-blade sharp bits of kagune at her, but she calmly deflected them all, taking special care to make sure none of them hit you. Touka was far enough out of range where she was unaffected, but you believed that (Y/n) would have shielded her, too.
When Ayato saw that he wasn't making any progress that way, he ran forward, ready to overwhelm (y/n) with his superior strength, but she leapt around, dancing like the butterfly she was, never hesitating or staying in any one place for too long. While Ayato was constantly twisting and turning to keep up with her, she was landing the occasional hit, each in areas that would kill a human. When Ayato recognized that he would never be able to match her speed and overpower her, he waited until she was at least twenty feet away before he turned and shot parts of his kagune at you.
You closed your eyes, expecting to feel pain, but instead, you just felt a drop of something land on your forehead. You opened your eyes hesitantly to find (y/n) standing before you, her white shirt turning red. You were confused until you touched your forehead, and that's when you realized that, with no time to block Ayato's attack towards you, (y/n) had shielded you with her body, taking all of the shots in her abdomen, and some of her blood had sprayed onto you.
"No," you said, sitting up. "Why? Why is this...Is this my punishment for being weak?"
For the first time since you'd seen her, (y/n) turned to Kaneki and gave a small smile. "There's nothing wrong with being weak. I'll protect you, Kaneki. So don't worry."
"But...but you! You're bleeding!" you said, gesturing towards her, and she just looked down, the half-smile fading as she shrugged.
"I'm fine. I had something to eat before this. See?" she said, lifting up her shirt just a little so you could see the holes in her stomach filling back up with flesh.
Something to eat? you wondered, thinking of the man in that room who looked as though there were bites taken out of him...but I don't care about that. If eating some evil ghoul means that (y/n) is alive, then I can't let myself be dragged down by trying to hang onto my old sense of morals. Above all, the two of us have to stay together, and I'll sacrifice what I have to in order to keep that.
While you were debating your moral code, (y/n) turned back to Ayato, her face blank and her eyes dark yet expressionless. "The weak one on here is you," she said in a soft voice that carried. She began attacking Ayato, holding even with him even as she took steps towards him. "What was that you said earlier? That it's the place of the weak to be crushed by the hands of the strong?" She was now only three steps away from Ayato. "Prepare to be crushed." Her kagune batted his away with almost laughable easiness, and without his defense, she was able to approach him easily.
"Crushed by the hands of the strong, huh?" he repeated, laughing darkly as if to reluctantly admit his defeat. "Quite a sense of irony you have there." At this point, she had her hands around his throat, ready to suffocate him, but she didn't move. Instead, she slowly withdrew her hands, turned her back to him, and walked back towards you.
"The weak survive because the strong lend a helping hand, not a hurting hand, Ayato," she said as she paused before continuing onward. Ayato scowled, sent a final glare towards Touka, and disappeared into the night.
"(Y/n)," you whispered, forcing yourself to sit up even though you were sore and aching. "I can't wait to get you back to Anteiku where you'll be safe."
"Wait," she said softly, looking away into the skyline of destruction. She turned back to you, her head tilted and her white hair framing her face as the wind blew it. She ran her hand through some of it to stop it from hiding her eyes as she looked at you with an unreadable expression. "I'm not coming back to Anteiku."
"What?" Touka asked, and you looked over at her in surprise, as though you'd forgotten her presence. "What do you mean, not coming back? We all...we all put our lives on the line, (y/n). For you. We want you to come back with us. You belong at Anteiku, with all of us." When (y/n) didn't respond, Touka took a step closer. "(Y/n), if you don't come back to Anteiku, where will you go?"
The whole time Touka was speaking, (y/n) was looking directly at you, and she still was, her gaze steady. "I'm going to Aogiri."
"What? Are you crazy? (Y/n)! Wake up! What, did they brainwash you?" Touka asked, sounding desperate as she drew even closer. Now, she was about fives steps away from (y/n). "They...they tortured you! How can you...how can you go back to that?"
But (y/n) didn't seem to pay attention to what Touka was saying, or if she did, she wasn't letting it show. "I'm going to Aogiri," she repeated, and you bit down on your teeth, frustrated and exasperated.
"Why is it...that we can't ever just be together?" you asked, meeting her eyes. You were crying, but you didn't care. "I'm sorry that I wasn't a really good brother in the past. I didn't think of you enough. I should have realized...how lonely you were, how alone you always were...Why didn't I help you?" you asked to no one in particular, but you were still looking right at her. "When they took you...I couldn't believe it. I'd always taken you for granted, that you'd be by my side, but then you were gone and I didn't know what to do. I can't stand being separated from you, (y/n). Maybe it's because we're twins, or maybe it's because I'm your older brother and even though I'm weak, I still want to try to protect you." You paused. "Why do you always have to be alone? Why can't you let me stand by you like you've always done for me?"
Silently, (y/n) let the hand that had been holding up her hair drop. Her hair hid her face and eyes from both Touka and you, but you didn't need to try to read her facial expressions to understand what she meant when she held out her hand.
You pushed off the ground, holding your left hand over your right side to lessen the bleeding, and accepted her outstretched hand with yours.
***
You grabbed your twin sister's hand as you stood up, and for just a second, the wind stopped blowing and the air was calm. Her hair fell back around her face, revealing her expressionless eyes, and the night was completely silent.
But you weren't the only two people on the roof. "What?" Touka yelled, taking a step closer. "You, too, Kaneki?" she asked, sounding betrayed. "You can't tell me that you mean to join Aogiri, right?"
She laughed nervously, but you didn't meet her eyes.
"You're not serious, right?" she asked, and you finally looked at her.
"My place is beside (y/n), wherever she may choose to be," you said, your gaze unwavering.
Touka took a step back. "And if she chose to go to Aogiri...?"
"Then I'd follow her until she plotted a new direction." You looked back at (y/n), staring into her eyes, hoping to see a glimpse of...something, anything...but her eyes were as dead as her emotions were. "Goodbye, Touka. And thank you." You nodded at your sister, and she leapt, taking you with her, out of sight, leaving Touka alone on the roof.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
You stopped pedaling your bike on the middle of a bridge, putting your feet down on either side to stay balanced, and looked toward where the CCG was conducting a raid on a ghoul organization's headquarters. Without a doubt, you felt that (y/n) was there somewhere, but with the way you were right now, you weren't strong enough to be anything but a burden to her. One day, you promised, I'll be worthy to stand beside her. I'll be able to protect her. Until I reach that point, I'm going to work harder and harder so I can eventually be of use to her. Touching the brim of your hat, you sent a final glance towards the building before putting your hands back on the handle bars and continuing on your way. Be safe, my love that I could never confess.

~from Touka's POV 2nd person~
After (y/n) and Kaneki left, you crumbled to you knees, utterly confused and messed up. "But...why? How could she go to Aogiri? I thought that we were friends. Did I neglect her in some way? Does she blame me for what happened? Or is she just insane? Both of them, in fact." You paused, looking up at the moon and searching the night sky for answers that didn't exist. "At least if she had Stockholm syndrome, I wouldn't feel so confused and betrayed. At least there would be a reason." As tears slid down your cheek, you wiped them away. "Kaneki, you idiot."

~from Mr. Yoshimura's POV 2nd person~
You watched Aogiri crumbling around you, but you knew that they were far from over. Still, while the powerful members were escaping, your fellow Anteiku members were still inside, most likely trying to avoid the CCG. I need to buy them some time. You walked, slowly but surely, towards the building. I didn't want to do this, but now it seems it's my time to join in the fight.

~from Ayato's POV 2nd person~
You watched Kaneki and scary chick leave Touka on the roof from your hiding spot. I don't know how much longer I can do this, Sister. Making you hate me is best for both of us...but it hurts me so much. I just wish you'd understand...From your nook, you spotted an Aogiri ghoul climbing up the wall towards the roof just a few feet away from where you were hidden. Without blinking, you silently released your kagune and slit his throat, not even bothering to come out of the shadows as you murdered him. As you watched his body fall and impact with the ground far below, you looked back towards Touka, your eyes pained but your purpose clear. It's okay, Sister. As long as I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you. I just wish that you didn't have to hate me in order for me to keep you safe, but I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this. You may hate me until I die, however soon that may be, but I'll love you forever. It pains me that you'll never realize this...

~from Juuzou's POV 2nd person~
You swung the scythe, reveling in the way it sliced through ghouls with ease. You laughed, hacking away skin and bone, until all of your attackers - or rather, victims - were deceased. "It's no fun if you break so easily," you whispered to the nearest head, which was a good ten feet from its respective body. "Play a little longer, why don't you?" Laughing, you stood up from your crouched position and moved into the next room. "Who else would like to play with me?"

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
You knew what you had to do to protect Anteiku. You weren't sure whether or not you wanted Kaneki to come with because you were sure that he wouldn't survive in Aogiri the way he was now, but he'd made his choice and you would respect it. While you already missed Touka and the others in some part deep inside your soul, you couldn't regret the path you'd chosen. It's the only way to protect them.
There was only one regret you had in mind. Hide...can you see me right now? What I've become? Are you disgusted? Scared? Angry? Do you hate me? Pity me? Sympathize with me? Or can you see past all of this back to the person I used to be? Maybe that's the wrong question. She's gone now. In a different world, the two of us could be drinking coffee at Anteiku right now, just the two of us, and we wouldn't be waiting for Kaneki, because we didn't meet up for him but rather to simply spend time together. I wish that were true, but it's not. It can't be.
Hide, can you see me right now?
Hide, can you still love me?
Because as awful as it is to say, despite what I am, I just might still love you...
And as awful as it is to say, I just might wish that you felt the same way...

PART II: A SILENCE SO WHITE

~time skip 2-3; from Narrator's POV 3rd person~
It seemed as though the longer the world spun on its axis, the darker it became. The news in Japan was constantly clouded with ghoul attacks, leading to a rising feeling of insecurity among the civilian population. Although the CCG was straining to keep ghouls in general - specifically, Aogiri - under control, they were proving to be little of a threat to the corpse-eating monsters, or so they were portrayed.
On TV, she was portrayed as a ruthless ghoul aligned with Aogiri and wreaking havoc on the city. Her hands were stained red, her soul stained black, but no matter where she was sighted (which became a fairly frequent occurrence as Aogiri became more active), she was always seen flitting about in a simple white dress, her white hair trailing after her like a shiny ribbon in the night sky as it caught the moonlight and seemed to absorb it into her tresses. From this came her various nicknames - "White Butterfly" was one; another was "Angel of Death," and yet another was "White Scythe." All of these names came from the destruction she unleashed with her kagune, slicing and slaying.
But that was just what the TV said. Behind the mask, was there something different? Was there a girl who was just tired of being weak, a girl who desperately wanted to protect what she held dear to her with her own hands, a girl who sacrificed her old purpose in life just for this mission? Or was she really as wholeheartedly terrible like she was made out to believe?
Hide knew that there was a girl underneath that mask, a girl that he'd wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember, but a girl who just kept getting farther and farther away from him, slipping out of his grasp time and time again. I promise you, (y/n), he thought to himself, standing up from his seat in a cafe and adjusting his hat to cover his eyes as he slipped out the door, having just seen the latest news coverage of the most recent "Butterfly" sighting. I'm going to be strong enough that you won't have to protect me. One way or another, I'm going to become useful to you. I don't care what it takes, what I have to do, or what I become. I'm going to save you, somehow. Just...wait a little longer, if you can, if you have that long...
As he walked down the empty sidewalk in the middle of the night, his only companion was the wind.
There was another who knew of the girl behind the mask, one who was closer to her than any other. Kaneki was a one-eyed ghoul just like her. He was, after all, her twin brother, and he, like Hide, had accepted the path that (y/n) chose to walk and had decided to walk beside her. Every now and then, the Butterfly would be seen with what was commonly referred to as the "eye patch" ghoul. He also wanted to assist her and provide strength, but he was not yet strong enough to match her power. Still, he continued striving onward to protect all that remained of his shattered family.
Of course, this was all what was behind the TV. On the screen, they were just bloodthirsty ghouls, sucked dry of every last shard of their humanity, but within each of them lay the soul of the person they had been before. Maybe they were a bit different because they had been human once. Maybe not. Even so, each ghoul had more in common with humans than any screen would dare present. For instance, Kaneki's will to protect another defied the societal knowledge of ghouls. (Y/n)'s loneliness was another very human emotion that seemed to be off-limits to ghouls like them.
Yet every ghoul was really just a human hiding behind a mask. Sure, they could use certain organs humans couldn't, but loneliness...pain...anger...sadness...loss...none of these emotions were foreign to them.
Ghouls may be more human than humanity is willing to accept.
That was the struggle of Kaneki and (y/n) - to hold on to their humanity, or to reject it completely.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You stood in the shadows, watching (y/n) as she single-handedly warded off an attack from two CCG members before killing both of them with quick, efficient strokes of her kagune. When they fell, she watched them, her gaze lingering on their sprawled bodies before looking back up towards the transport vehicle, bringing her focus back to the mission.
Aogiri wants (Y/n) because she has some power. She's a useful tool for them. The only reason I'm allowed to stick around...
You caught movement out of the corner of your eyes and pivoted, leaping out of the shadows and landing somewhat nimbly behind (Y/n), spreading your arms wide as one of the fallen CCG members lifted his gun. With a bang, his gun recoiled, and it fell from his limp hand, the gun landing half a pace away.
...is because I help keep this little butterfly safe.
You turned to make sure (y/n) was all right, and her eyes first met yours, then were drawn to the blossom of red that stained the chest area of your shirt. Then her eyes met yours again for a second longer than previously before she turned and looked away, focusing, yet again, on her assignment.
Although it may have seemed callously harsh of her, you were getting better at reading her "new" self. She rarely talked, shrouding her thoughts in mystery, and used subtle glances to convey her feelings. While she hadn't said as much in words, you were sure that (y/n) had asked if you were okay and thanked you for jumping in to protect her back even though one bullet probably wouldn't have killed her. But what's an older brother for? Please...rely on me, (y/n)...
You returned to the shadows, your eyes still following (y/n)'s every move, and waited for her to finish up. Once she was done rescuing an Aogiri prisoner or whatever it was that she was helping Ayato with (you weren't high enough on the chain of command to be given any details; you just got thrown into it and tried to manage), you walked over, talking her hand and holding it for a moment. You're not alone...
"Hey, if it isn't Twig," Ayato said, turning and smirking at you.
Ah...Ayato. How did I almost miss him? you wondered, hating him more deeply than you'd ever hated anyone else before. All he did was belittle you, calling you every variation of the word "weak" and treating you like the annoying tagalong sibling of a close friend. Which, now that I think about it...You paused. Am I an annoying tagalong sibling? No! No...But I wouldn't call Ayato and (y/n) friends exactly...
You frowned at Ayato, letting go of (y/n)'s hand. As expected, she didn't give any sign that she'd noticed your gesture, but you hoped that she felt it on some level. "Please stop, Ayato," you said, slightly upset as always, and, also as always, Ayato just smirked.
"What's that I hear? A bird? No, you're lower than a bird. You're a worthless stick. You don't make any sounds. Don't think that you can talk to me, you lowly-"
"Please stop, Ayato," (y/n) whispered, placing her hand on Ayato's wrist, and he looked over at her in surprise, all of the inherent evil sliding off his face and being replaced with a look akin to...understanding? Holy crap, are they friends? Did I miss something?
Then Ayato made an annoyed sound and snatched his wrist away, crossing his arms as he faced away from the two of you. "Whatever. You think I'll stop just because you told me to, Princess?" Despite acting all miffed, he didn't insult you for at least another ten minutes, which was an all-time record for him, giving you time to get back to Aogiri's main branch's new location in glorious silence.
Once there, however, (y/n) had to leave you to go talk with some creepy guy named Noro. As soon as she was gone, Ayato turned on you, slamming his hands on either side of you against the wall as he leaned in. "I can't believe I have to work with such a weak wuss like you. You need your sister to protect you, huh? Can't survive without her to save you?"
"Stop it," you implored yet again, but Ayato was relentless in her verbal attacks.
"You're worse than Aogiri. They're using her, but she knows that she's being used. With you...you're using her as a shield, but she'll never think anything of it because you're her blood. You'll just keep growing like a parasite on her side-"
"Hang on," you interrupted. "What do you mean, worse than Aogiri? If you don't like them, then why are you here?"
Ayato gave you an exasperated look. "Yeah, because I'd ever tell a maggot like you anything?"
You frowned at him, having to tilt your head up a little bit. "Why are you concerned so much about (y/n)? And I am not using her as a shield."
"Concerned about her? Who, me? Get real, kid."
"Ayato, I'm older than you by at least four years."
"And you're still nothing much a twig." The two of you stared each other down until Ayato noticed (y/n) watching the two of you.
"What is it?" he asked, sounding almost defensive. "Are you going to tell me to stop?"
"No," she said softly, and you could have sworn you saw a flicker of a smile. You tried to imagine the scene from how she saw it. Ayato, his arms placed on either side of you, looking angry or passionate. You, tilting your head up and watching him with close eyes. "It just looks like you're confessing to Kaneki, Ayato."
With sudden surprise, he looked at you and swore, taking a hasty step away and...was he blushing just a little?
"Um, please...Ayato," you said, scratching the back of your head. "I'm sorry I didn't realize. It's just that...how do you say this...As far as I know, I'm straight. So I'm sorry-"
"IDIOT," Ayato said, glaring at you as he insulted you through bared teeth. "YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT, KANEKI. GO AND DIE."

~from Ayato's POV 2nd person~
Even though you were still embarrassed about the scene earlier, you watched (y/n) out of the corner of your eyes, following her movements until you realized that you were just being a Kaneki copycat, only less directly. Kaneki was also watching (y/n), but he was just plain staring at her. She ignored him (as usual) and did the same to you.
(Y/n)...you thought, observing her. She reminds me of myself a lot, I suppose. Maybe that's why I'm so fascinated by her? We understand each other on some level. Not like Kaneki...that bastard doesn't understand anything. He probably doesn't even know how to respond to (y/n)'s actions, but he goes along with it because he's got no one else. If his mother was still around, would he be trailing after his sister right now? Or what about if he hadn't become a ghoul while (y/n) still did. He wouldn't be standing in Aogiri HQ if that happened, I can bet. He's just trying to hang onto his past, and all he's doing is dragging her down with him. She accepted it, being a ghoul, that is, while he's just a kid in a ghoul's body. I hate being around him. Why is he even here? He should just go back to the human world and live as the miserable existence that he is.
"Kaneki-" you began, turning towards him and ready to start World War III (as you did every ten minutes), but before you could even insult him, (y/n) turned towards you and tilted her head.
"Please don't start this again."
You crossed your arms over your chest and tilted your head up a little bit. "Why are you protecting him? He's weak."
"I know he's weak-"
"Hey," Kaneki said, almost pouting.
"-but he's my brother. Why are you protecting Touka?"
Kaneki stared at (y/n) with utter astonishment. "Protecting? (y/n), you saw him almost kill her back at Anteiku, and if you hadn't showed up at Aogiri that night on the roof, we would've both been dead."
While Kaneki was in disbelief, though, you were analyzing (y/n). How does she know these things? Who is she to know these things? Without saying another word, you grabbed her arm and pulled her with you, heading for a spot in the building that nobody else knew about. You heard Kaneki protesting, but you ignored him and he was soon left behind.
Finally, you stopped but didn't let go of (y/n)'s wrist, turning to face her. "How can you possibly understand who I am? Don't act all high and mighty and try to figure me out."
She tilted her head slightly, and you were immediately distracted by her long white hair curling around her figure. "But I'm not wrong."
You gritted your teeth, sighing with exasperation. "Okay, fine. Let's just say that maybe you're not entirely wrong. But don't...don't pretend that you know me."
She just watched you calmly, as she always did as long as you'd known her, and for just a second, you were overcome by the urge to do something to make her lose that calm. Making her angry could be fun...you thought, followed by, But I'd love to see her blush.
Wait, what? Why do I want to see her blush? What's wrong with me? You shook your head thoroughly, trying to scatter made-up images of (y/n) with a slight blush, head turned away from you. Still...for a ghoul, she's kind of cute...
HOLY CRAP. WHAT IS THIS? Now you were blushing, unable to look the real (y/n) in the eyes. With sudden realization, you let go of her wrist, your fingers burning. Cool it, Ayato. You're a badass ghoul from Aogiri. What the hell are you thinking? Get your head back in check.
You forced yourself to glare at (y/n), who looked slightly lost.
Eventually, she gave a slight shrug, looking at the floor to the right of you. "Okay. I don't know you." She nodded towards you and walked back the way you'd brought her, not stopping to look back or even slowing down in the slightest.
Once she was out of sight, you turned and punched the concrete wall, which yielded to your fist in a small cloud of disturbed dust and a fissure to spread along the wall. "Damn it," you muttered,  leaning your forehead against the wall and closing your eyes. "If I wasn't so weak..."
If I wasn't so weak, I wouldn't have left Touka. I would have stayed and protected her. We would have worked at Anteiku together, maybe gone to school together. I would have met (y/n) before she changed into what she is now, when she smiled freely and was a little shy, but talked more than she does now. I would have decided to protect her, too. Maybe as a friend...maybe as something more. Then she wouldn't have had to come to Aogiri. I probably would still have hated Kaneki, though.
A horrifying shock came over you when you realized that it was your fault. Yamori had told you that he wanted (y/n), and you had simply let him take her. She'd been tortured because you were too weak. It was your fault that she had endured endless suffering. It was your fault that she'd been forced to change to survive. It was your fault that she was stuck in Aogiri. It was your fault that her humanity had seemingly been crushed, just like yours had been over time.
"Enough," you growled, your eyes snapping open as you took a step back from the wall, hands clenched. You were worried that the more you compared yourself to (y/n) and guilt-tripped yourself, that you would start to think about your parents, and you really didn't want a trip down memory lane. Not right now, not in this place. Probably never. "I've moved on," you muttered, walking the way from which you'd come. "I'm over it."
Just like I'm over (y/n). It was all a fluke, a complete mishap. I won't slip up again. From now on, we're complete strangers.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You saw that (y/n) had returned and jogged over to her. "Are you all right?" you asked, scanning her quickly. She just watched you, not saying anything. "What did he tell you?"
She shrugged and brushed past you. Still, you followed until she suddenly turned around, making you stop. "I'm going out. If you stay in my room, they won't hurt you."
How reassuring, you thought as you watched her walk away. Once she was far enough ahead, you chased after her, making it just in time to see her gracefully leap from an empty window and land delicately on the ground three stories below. With barely a second elapsed, she was already up and walking south, leaving you to clumsily stand on the window sill and eye the three-story drop with a weak stomach. Shaking so hard that you nearly fell, you hurried to retreat from the window, instead opting to take the nearby crumbling stairwell that was still holding up pretty well until you hit the fifth floor, where an entire level was missing, and then some. Still, you were able to reach ground level within the passing of two minutes. You ran out of the building Aogiri was temporarily using as HQ, breathing hard and pausing with your hands on your knees before you looked around, even though you knew she was probably too far ahead of you for you to locate. Still, you decided to stick with the last direction you'd seen her go.
South it is, you thought as you stood up and started first walking and then lightly jogging as you regained your breath. You kept looking to your right and left, scanning for a flash of white hair. You knew that (y/n) wouldn't be happy if she caught you following her, but you couldn't help it. She was hiding so much from you lately, and this was your only chance to try to observe her. Who knew? Maybe she'd let her guard down if nobody was around.
You were so busy walking and turning your head that you almost missed her. Spying her in a side alley, you quickly ducked and turned to press close against the wall outside the alley. I can't see what she's doing...where can I get a good view? You eyed the ladder that ran up to the roof of the one-story building adjacent to the alley and, after looking around to make sure nobody else was around, quickly scaled the ladder, crouching near the edge of the roof so you could see into the alley below. What you saw shocked you.
(Y/n) was sitting down with her back against the wall, a white cat drinking out of a milk-filled bowl that had been placed there. "I want to pet you," (y/n) whispered, watching the cat with gentle eyes. "But you're so fragile and weak. I'm...afraid. I don't want to break you." Even with her confession, the cat still nudged against her hand until (y/n) set a slightly shaking hand on the cat's head, her fingers resting just between the ears. The cat curled up next to her, purring softly and nestling her head in (y/n)'s hand. "I don't understand. Why aren't you afraid of me?"
Suddenly, (y/n) looked up, as though sensing your presence, and you held your breath, hoping that she couldn't somehow trace you with her inner ghoul. Instead of demanding that you come out, she just stood up, narrowing her eyes slightly before looking down at the cat and petting her one final time. "I'll be back." With that (y/n) left the alley.
You crouch-walked to the edge of the roof, still afraid of being seen, but when you looked out at the street, she was nowhere to be seen. You were about to descend the building when you saw something else that utterly shocked you.
A boy with light orange hair and a build you'd recognize anywhere entered the alley and approached the cat with a warm smile. "How are you doing, Maddy?" He bent down and scratched under her chin, and she walked in a circle around him, rubbing at his knees. He laughed, petting her back. "I knew you'd like her, too. But she doesn't know that you're mine. At least, not yet, so we have to keep this a secret." He winked at Maddy, who just stretched and rolled over in response. "You're such a sweet girl, just like (y/n)," Hide said quietly, looking up at the sky in longing. You could tell that he'd been watching (y/n) like you had. If you understood the situation correctly, he'd even bought a cat in the hopes that (y/n)'s love for cats would draw her out. Sure enough, she'd come. But what is Hide's plan? What does he plan to do? Does (y/n) know about him?
You wanted to ask him for yourself, but you weren't in a position where you could explain everything. Hide would want to know why you weren't living at your apartment and why you'd quit working at Anteiku. He might even ask about (y/n), and if he'd seen the recent news, he might want to know why a certain ghoul looked a lot like her. You still weren't ready to answer any of those questions, so you turned and disappeared just like your sister had. Both of you, running from the one person who would probably be able to accept you, but neither of you were willing to take the risk.

~from Hide’s POV 2nd person~
You walked out of the CCG building, tucking your baseball cap low over your eyes as you walked down the street. When you got to your apartment building, you turned the key in the lock and entered, closing the door quietly behind you and locking it before you took a seat in your kitchen. With a sigh, you rested your elbows on the table, holding up your head on your fists, your eyes tired. "I want to see her so much it hurts," you said softly, laughing gently when Maddy nudged your hand with her head. "You too, you too. Don't worry, Mads." You petted her for a minute before taking off you hat and tossing it on the table, ruffling your hair into its normal slightly-unkempt look. Exhaling as you looked around, you realized that you'd never gotten used to eating alone. There was only one kitchen you felt at home in, and you needed to visit it.
Making sure you didn't accidentally let Maddy out, you promised her that you'd be back later, locking up behind you as you went back onto the streets and headed to a house you hadn't visited in over a month, one that used to be practically your second home. When you arrived, you approached the door and inserted the spare key that Kaneki had made you, twisting the door handle slowly, taking a slow inhale. What is she's on the other side of the door? What will she say to me? Will she even look at me? Letting out a rushed breath, you swung open the door. The hallway was dark and empty, as the logical part of your mind realized, but as the inside part of your heart didn't want to accept. With a broken sigh, you entered, shutting the door behind you and taking a few steps into the kitchen. When you heard a crunch, you looked down. Since it was too dark to make much of anything out, you reached to your right, your fingers trailing along the pale wall until you hit the familiar light switch. Usually, turning on the lights is supposed to make things less scary, but this situation was flipped. Once the kitchen was illuminated, the horror began.
The kitchen floor was covered with the shards of what looked like knives that had somehow shattered and laid on the floor like bones. Why would (y/n) and Hide break their knives? They don't have anything strong enough, you thought to yourself, before you came to a grim conclusion as you stood up, mouth flattened into a straight line. Nothing but themselves. Did they...did they try to stab themselves, maybe when they first had their suspicions about what they were - what they are? Was it really just a test? Or were they really trying to commit suicide?
Angry beyond belief, you slammed your fist into the wall (thankfully not breaking the drywall). Did you really think that nobody would miss you, that no one would care? Was there nothing left for you in this world? Nobody left for you? Well, what about me? Did you ever think about me and how I would feel? Kaneki, we're supposed to be best friends. If I don't get to kill you, then you don't get to kill you. Simple rule of friendship. And (y/n)...you can't die. Not yet. Not until we've said all we've needed to say...and trust me, I still have far too many words caught in my throat. I want to see you right now, to talk to you, to hold your hands to make sure that you're real. We're in the same city, but there's this void between us that you don't want anyone to cross.
Well, you let Maddy cross that void. I'm hoping you'll let me as well, eventually.
Making sure not to step on the knife shards, you carefully made your way through the kitchen, past Kaneki's bedroom, and in front of (y/n)'s room. You'd never actually been in there before, for obvious reasons. Kaneki was the reason you came to hang out at the apartment in the first place, and he was supposed to be the reason you kept coming back. He was - at least partially - until he wasn't, when there was someone else you wanted to see even more than your best friend in the entire world. The subtly beautiful, shy girl who was always hiding behind something or someone, blending in and moving on.
You hesitated at the doorway, apprehensive about disrupting (y/n)'s privacy, but as it seemed that she and Kaneki had both abandoned this apartment at least for the time being, you decided that you weren't in the wrong in this scenario. You slowly opened the door, opening your eyes to catch and remember every detail. You weren't surprised by the lack of both furniture and decor. Despite receiving money after their mother passed away, some of the funds had been snatched up by their b**** of an aunt, and the rest was going towards both the apartment, living expenses, and Kaneki's education. In short, money was tight, and even though Hide had tried to pitch in on various occasions, he was rarely allowed, especially when both of the twins were around. A certain memory was clear in his mind...

~flashback~
The three of us were sitting at the kitchen table in Kaneki's apartment. (Y/n) said that she'd run to the store tomorrow after work, but that there was no food for dinner, so Kaneki gave in and ordered a pizza, the smallest one possible. (Y/n) carefully unscrewed the lid of the jar that held on-hand cash and took out the proper amount, screwing the lid back on tightly as though afraid that the rest of their savings would grow wings and fly away.
"Let me pay for it," I insisted, watching (y/n) place the jar back on top of a cabinet.
She shook her head, a half smile on her face, but I got the feeling that it was an automatic response. What does her real smile look like? I wondered. "It's fine," she said.
"Seriously," I replied, standing up and pulling out my wallet, but she was already taking hurried steps to the door in order to avoid me.
"Be back soon," she said, closing the door behind her just as I pulled out a twenty. With a sigh, I fell back into my designated chair, watching Kaneki intently.
"Why won't you guys ever let me pay?" I asked, reading his body language. If he lied, I would know.
He shrugged. "It's just...after living with our aunt, I think that we realized how much independence meant to us. Being able to survive without help. Accepting your money would be like..." His brows furrowed, indicating that he was thinking hard. "It's like cheating, I guess. At least, that's how it feels, even if it sounds stupid and illogical."
"But it's not cheating," I said. Between (y/n) and Kaneki, (y/n) was the twin that chose to put absolutely every single person before herself, and while Kaneki was extremely similar in that respect, sometimes it seemed that he forgot the one person that he should pay attention to most - his twin sister. "Look. I'm eating food that you paid for, so it's only fair that I chip in money. Otherwise, I won't eat a bite."
Kaneki looked laughably helpless. "But I can't finish it by myself, considering that (y/n) eats less than a bird."
I crossed my arms. "That's too bad. If I can't contribute, then I won't accept it."
"Fine," Kaneki said, looking extremely troubled. "But only because if I don't take your money now, you'll bug (y/n) about it when she gets back. And I'm only taking $10, tops."
I nodded. "In the jar so she won't notice?"
Kaneki nodded back in reply. "She counts it weekly, but hopefully she won't be too mad by then."
As I was taking down the jar and unscrewing it, I asked, "Couldn't you just lie?"
"To (y/n)? I don't know. I've never lied to her before. It's just something between twins, I think. I don't think I even want to try lying to her and breaking her trust. Besides, even worse than her telling me that she knew, she'd probably stay silent. I couldn't handle that, Hide," Kaneki said gravely, his eyes tracing the table.
I tucked a $10 bill into the jar and slipped in a twenty before Kaneki could notice, quickly putting the lid back on and returning the jar to its original place.
When (y/n) came back, she read the atmosphere and hesitated before entering the kitchen, and for a second, I thought that she knew what I'd done, but then she smiled lightly and put the pizza on the table. "Itadakimasu."
"Itadakimasu," Kaneki and I said in unison, both slightly relieved that nothing had happened.
~end flashback~

Now, as you gazed into her nearly empty room, you knew without a doubt that she had known, even before she counted the money. You now also realized that when you'd found $30 by accident a week or two later, that she had somehow placed it there. On top of all that, you realized that you'd broken her trust all those nights ago, just like Kaneki had said, and now you felt like you couldn't live with yourself.
When I see (y/n) again, that's the first thing I'll tell her, that I'm sorry about that night. With a pang of regret, you closed the door to her room, unable to walk inside, and you left the apartment.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
After seeing Hide scoop up Maddy and walk away with noticing you, you decided to head back to Aogiri. Maybe I'll find (y/n) and have a chance to ask her what that was all about. Does she know that Maddy is Hide's cat? I didn't even know. More than that, why does she feel like she can talk to a stray cat more than she can talk to me? I have to let her know that I'm here for her...With that in mind, you started walking back to Aogiri to look for (y/n). However, halfway there, you felt a sense of danger coming from the connection you shared with your twin. (Y/n) needs my help. With that, you took off sprinting back towards the Aogiri HQ.

~from Author's POV 3rd person~
Ayato held her throat in one hand, her body shoved roughly against the wall. She neither made a sound nor indicated any change of expression. Ayato, on the other hand, was full of emotions, primarily confusion that was mistaken by him for anger, which only led to make him more angry in the end.
"A butterfly, huh?" he growled almost tauntingly as he mocked her, one hand trapping the right wing of (y/n)'s kagune to the wall. (Y/n) didn't move, but her eyelids dipped a little lower. Her lack of reaction only fueled Ayato on more. "How about I rip your wings off? Let's see you fly away then."
(Y/n) just watched Ayato with blank eyes that held a tinge of disappointment. Ayato caught a glimpse of this, and it infuriated him further.
"I'm going to kill you so f**king hard," he promised, and in one savaged motion, he ripped off her wing. (Y/n) winced, shutting her eyes tightly to block out the wave of pain that washed over all of her nerves. When she opened her eyes, they were still filled with the little pain-induced black spots she used to get after looking into a bright light. She couldn't bring herself to look at Ayato right now, so she let her eyes drift to the ground at her lower right. To distract herself, she imagined a familiar scene of a girl and a boy sitting in a coffee shop, talking lightly and laughing softly while making up excuses as to why they were there in the first place...
Making a sound of disbelief in his throat, Ayato dropped his hand from (y/n)'s throat and stared down at his bloody right hand as thought he couldn't understand why it was red.
Without Ayato holding (y/n) up, she crumpled to the gorund, still bleeding from her back, her throat bruised and her voice too hoarse to speak, not that she would if she could.
It was at that precise moment in time that Kaneki's steps could be heard as he pounded into the room.
"(Y/n)? (Y/n)?" he called, clearly undergoing a search for her, but as soon as he saw her fallen figure, he ran over and knelt beside her, lightly touching his fingers to the growing puddle of blood on her back where her kagune had been ripped off. His eyes traced the blood to thedamaged kagune beside her before he saw her throat and the finger marks around it that indicated strangulation. He reached out but stopped himself as though he thought that he'd hurt her even with his gentle touch. Standing up slowly, he turned around to Ayato, who still sood there shell-chocked by his actions. Kaneki took one step, placing himself in front of (y/n) as he demonstrated a protective stance, his hair flickering back and forth between snow white and pitch black.
"Ayato," Kaneki said, his voice soft but it carried well. "How ould you ever bring yourself to inflict pain on someone who has endured so much only to spare others? How could you break something so innocent and selfless with those hands?" When Ayato didn't snap out of it, Kaneki took a step closer. "Answer me, Ayato."
Ayatolooked up, his eyes haunted as he stared past Kaneki, his eyes drawn to (y/n)'s unconscious form. He took a step towards her, but Kaneki's kagune whipped out and smacked Ayato back into the wall. The impact sent cracks running through the concrete as Ayato's body fell. Kaneki watched him, but after observing no movement but shallow breathing, he turned, his white hair blowing softly from an invisible breeze as he bent and picked up (y/n)'s body in his arms, making sure to carry her as gently as possible so she wouldn't wake up and be in pain.
Kaneki wasn't quite sure where he could take her. He certainly wasn't about to leave (y/n) in the care of Aogiri any longer, at least not for the time being. When she woke up, it would be a different matter altogether.
He paused in the hallway, the image of the place where he could take her shaping in his mind. He continued walking, his steps with more purpose now that he had a finite destination in mind. I can't be seen in the city, he thought, and (y/n) definitely can't be noticed. I'll have to go through alleys and rooftops to drop her off and make it back to Aogiri before they can track her. While she recovers, I'll take over in her place. Hopefully, Aogiri will leave her alone as long as I take her place.
(Y/n) stirred restlessly in his arms but remained unconscious. With hurried steps, he continued onward.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
You were watching the local news station at a nearby ramen shop when you saw him. From CCG coverage that you'd been watching lately, you'd seen (y/n) a lot, but Kaneki had always stayed fairly hidden. However, now he was taking over the footage, and (y/n) was nowhere to be seen. Where is (y/n)? you wondered. It struck you as odd, the sudden switch, and you made a mental note to read the classified files you'd illegally photocopied from CCG headquarters as soon as you got home. You'd nabbed them while delivering something the other day, and nobody so much as suspected you after you'd spent a while building up their trust. You hadn't had time to sleep last night, which meant that you hadn't been home (the only place you could read them safely) in 2 days. Soon, you'd be able to read what you'd stolen, and hopefully find some answers as to the shift in Aogiri.
Leaving the money on the counter, you walked out of the shop and to your apartment with no stops along the way. Turning the key in the door, you were ready to fall into bed and call it a night, but after locking back up behind you and entering the living space, you realized that your plans would have to change.
Lying on the couch was an unconscious, bleeding (y/n).
She's here. It's really her. She's...real. In my apartment.
Just then, Maddy came into the room. As soon as you saw her, you desperately motioned for her to shoo, but she was a stubborn little cat and just came closer, rubbing against your ankles and meowing loudly.
Awakened by the noise, (y/n) stirred, slowly opening her eyes and tilting her head. Your eyes connected, yours wide with surprise and uncertainty, and hers unreadable. Finally, "Why am I here?" she asked.
You paused. "What? You mean you don't know?"
She shook her head, her eyes dropping away from yours as she assessed the damage to her kagune with a face twisted with pain. It was obvious that she was in suffering, and you couldn't bear it whatsoever.
You took a step closer. "You look like you're bleeding pretty badly. We should bandage you up."
She shrugged, neither agreeing nor opposing your decision, and taking slow steps as though not to startle her, you went into the bathroom to grab basic medical supplies and returned with a roll of gauze, bandages, etc.
Now, how the heck am I going to do this? It was my stupid idea. The problem is that the wound appears to be on her back...which means I'm either going to have to cut or remove her shirt in order to bandage it.
As though reading your mind and understanding your hesitation (which came from your awkwardness), (y/n) turned so her back faced you, gathered her hair to her left, and slid the sleeve of her white dress down her arm, revealing the stump of her wing that was slowly struggling to regrow.
Drawn, you moved closer and lightly touched her broken kagune. "Who did this to you?" you asked, almost shaking from being so close to her. It doesn't feel real...
(Y/n) didn't answer, just pushed the sleeve back to the point where it hid her back. "You can't fix it with your bandages," she said softly. "Only my regenerative abilities can do that, but I haven't...eaten...in a while."
You placed your hand on her shoulder, meeting her eyes as her face turned towards you. "Then take from me. Whatever you need. It's okay," you assured her.
Her eyes were sad and almost disappointed. "You don't get it, Hide. I've changed."
"I know."
"I'm not the little girl you used to know."
"I know that."
"I don't think you do. I don't think that you'd still be sitting here, offering to let me eat a small part of you, if you truly understood what I am." Wincing in pain, she stood up, still facing away from you, and released her kagune, looking like a broken angel with only one wing. Turning to face you, she tilted her head, hair swirling around her, and that was when you noticed the bruising around her throat.
"Who did this?" you demanded, scared that you weren't able to protect her but even a little mad, and not just towards whoever had hurt (y/n). Kaneki. What are you doing? You let (y/n) be injured in such a way...how could you?
She shook her head. "Don't get angry on my behalf. It's not asked of you."
"But I'll do it anyway," you insisted, taking a step closer and taking one of her hands in both of your own. "(Y/n), I don't care if you're a ghoul. I've accepted that ever since I figured it out, a long time ago, and it hasn't changed anything."
Her eyes widened slightly, and part of you was deliriously happy that she was showing you her emotions. "What do you mean? You've known all along?"
You nodded, moving one hand to holding the right side of her face. "I've known for a long time, and even though you may not believe me, my feelings haven't wavered at all."
Once again, she looked shocked. "Feelings?" she asked, and it near broke your heart that every word she uttered came out sounding uniquely sad and full of loss.
Without responding to her question, you leaned in and pressed your lips to hers, bringing your other hand up to hold her face. Gentle...be gentle...you told yourself, too scared of frightening (y/n) away forever. I'll take it slow. I just can't take this anymore. When you finally pulled back, one of her eyes was black, then other normal, and you smiled sadly. "Can't you see that I completely accept you?"
Her normal eye was letting tears flow down her cheeks. "I'll hurt you," she said simply, and you nodded, smiling.
"I've got a high pain threshold," you said lightly, touching a thumb to her tears. "And besides, living without you was far more agonizing." You looked at her seriously. "Do you need...to eat?" you asked, wondering how much it would hurt if she really did take a bite out of you, not that it would stop you from trying to help her in any way possible.
She paled. "I'm not eating from you, Hide. Never."
Again, you gave her a sad half-smile. "Okay then. But if you are ever in trouble, don't hesitate. For now, just sleep," you said, kissing her forehead and taking a few steps back. "And I'll see you in the morning. Don't even think about running away this time, unless you want me to walk into Aogiri to find you."
With pain eyes, she tried to smile before she laid back down on the couch. "Goodnight, Hide. And...I'm sorry."
You watched her with forlorn eyes. "Don't be. You're the one person I could never find fault with." You left her on the couch, going to your own room to sleep and closing the door behind you, your heart racing. She's different from before, but she's still (y/n).
***
It was hard to sleep knowing that (y/n) was just a room away with only a few inches of drywall between us, so you laid awake for most of the night. Half the time, you were wondering what to do. Where can we go with this? (Y/n) won't leave Kaneki behind, but if we stay here, Aogiri will take her back somehow. How can I keep her safe? While you thought all of that, you were really just wondering, How can she be mine and only mine? underneath it all until you felt guilty and turned over.
What if she's already left? you wondered, your heart freezing for second until you sat up and swung your feet out, setting them down gently on the ground as you stood up quietly, moving slowly to muffle any noise. Now that the suspicion had been planted in your head, your paranoia was mounting, leaving you no other option but to go and check on her to make sure she was still there. Exiting your room, you heard the sound of deep coughing, and you gave up on the quiet approach and ran into the other room, where (y/n) was dry-heaving as she knelt on the floor, her back hunched and her arms in front of her, barely managing to hold herself up as her body quivered like a leaf in the wind.
Without asking her a lot of pressuring questions, you just knelt beside her and rubbed her back, holding her hair up with your other hand. When the coughing finally stopped, she leaned her weak frame against your body, unable to summon the strength to resist falling to the ground without using you for support. "Cannibalism," she whispered weakly, in answer to your unasked question. "With temporary strength comes terrible side effects." She started coughing again, much shorter this time, and she muffled the sound with the back of her hand. When she pulled it away, it was wet with dark red blood. She looked at you, one eye human and one eye ghoul, and she looked so broken and alone that you felt pain seizing your muscles.
"What can I do?" you asked ardently, wanting, as always, to be useful to her in some way.
"Nothing," she responded, not even strong enough to give you a half-smile. Her skin was pale, with dark circles underneath her eyes, and you knew that she was in terrible pain.
"Damn it," you swore softly, pressing one hand up against your eyes. "I've been spying on the CCG and keeping track of you, and none of it can help you whatsoever. Nothing I do can ever help you. No matter how hard I try, I can never reach you. I can never enter your world."
You both looked into each other's eyes, both of you feeling pain of such great magnitude that you didn't know how much more your could take.
"We're always so close, but forever a world apart," you finished softly, and (y/n) just looked down before struggling to her feet, using the couch as a support so she didn't have to touch you. Your jaw tensing, you stared at the ground, not watching her because you simply couldn't bear to.
You couldn't even watch as she left without a goodbye, the door shutting softly behind her as she returned to the world she belonged in, and for the first time since you'd fallen in love with her, you felt the utter hopelessness of the situation wash over you, and you tilted your head back, tears sliding down your face. "What do I have to do? What can I do? I just don't know any more."

~from Ayato's POV 2nd person~
When you regained consciousness after being batted into a concrete wall by Kaneki in his awakened ghoul form, the first thing you did was lean back against the wall, head tilted back and eyes closed, and curse yourself over and over again in your mind. It's just, I've never experienced this before. I'm confused...I just don't know how to treat her. I never meant to hurt her, but when I thought of the possibility of Touka being in (y/n)'s situation, where she chose Aogiri to protect me like (y/n) had done for Kaneki, I just couldn't take it anymore. How can (y/n) do that? Doesn't she know that Kaneki is weak? Doesn't she know that he can't protect her, just like no matter what I do, I can't truly protect Touka? When it all comes down to it, I'm just scared of being weak.
When you heard approaching footsteps, you opened your eyes, hands on the ground on either side asyou prepped to stand up and play at being the arrogant Aogiri ghoul you had to be in order to survive, but it wasn't anyone you'd been expecting. It was (y/n). You moved to stand up quickly, but she shook her head, and you slowly relaxed back into the wall, although every muscle in you was tensed.
"Look," you said quickly, meeting her eyes with desperation in your own. "I didn't mean to-"
She silenced with you a simple nod.
You swallowed, ready to try again. "And before - I told you that we were strangers. I didn't mean it."
Once again, she just nodded.
"And I really, really...I didn't mean to hurt you. I know that's a weak excuse," you said in a quiet voice, looking down at the ground, angry at yourself as you struggled with your pride to form an apology. "But that's all I have. I...I snapped. I couldn't control myself, and I put you in a place of pain."
"You're in pain too," she said softly, and your head snapped up as you met her eyes. "We're all in pain. That's why we're here, stuck in the middle of all of this."
You looked at her with understanding before you nodded and looked away. "You should eat soon. If you need to, you can-"
"It's fine," she said, and it seemed as though each time she spoke, her voice grew even quieter. "I'll manage. Just stop feeling guilty. Touka needs you."
With that, she turned and walked away, leaving you to wonder why the encounter made you so confused and sad. What happened to her since I last saw her? There's a new pain in her eyes. And why does it look like she's going to die before the sun rises?
***
You were still sitting against the wall when Kaneki walked by. He was going to pass you silently, but you held out your hand and caught the edge of his jacket.
"What's wrong?" you asked, observing his body language. Something's wrong. What could possibly upset Kaneki? Maybe it's about (y/n)? But I just saw her an hour ago...
He looked down at you, his jaw clenched. "Nothing that I need you for."
You let go of him and stood up, dusting yourself off before meeting his eyes. "Look, I'm not going to do anything. Just tell me what's up."
"Why do you want to know?" he asked edgily, and you sighed, exasperated.
"Because I'm curious. There? Happy? Great. Now tell me."
Kaneki gave you a hard stare before looking away with a troubled expression. "I can't find (y/n)."
"What do you mean, can't find? Aren't you guys twins or whatever?"
Kaneki glared at you. "Yeah, we're twins, not telepathic. Why do you even care? All you do is hurt her, and I can't forgive you for that."
Even though you felt the impact of his statement hit home, and hard, you forced yourself to laugh. "Forgive me or not, but it's not up to you. Besides, she stopped by earlier to deliver her forgiveness in person."
Kaneki was suddenly focused. He turned to you, eyes sharp. "How long ago was this?"
You shrugged. "Maybe an hour ago?"
"And she was here?"
"No, we decided to meet up down by the river and take in the scenery of the cherry blossoms. Yeah, here. Where else?" you bit out snidely.
Kaneki looked to be deep in thought, which aggravated you somewhat.
"It's not fun to tease you anymore if you don't care," you said indifferently, feeling empty inside, and Kaneki just watched you with dark eyes.
"Weakness isn't something that I can afford anymore, not at the price of another, and especially not at the price of (y/n). That's why I need to find her." As he turned, you grabbed his hand. "What?" he asked, and you shrugged, letting go.
"Nothing. Just thought I'd tag along."
"Why do you want to come? I don't care if (y/n) forgave you or whatever. You're still a jerk and a bully."
"You realize that you insult people like a kindergartner?" you asked, still just teasing him because whatever real emotions you had were locked deep inside in a place that only (y/n) could reach.
Kaneki shrugged. "Until meeting you, I haven't needed to insult anyone."
You whistled. "That's why you gotta start early in life. I kind of feel a sense of accomplishment, though. So I'm your first, huh?"
Kaneki just rolled his eyes and muttered something about fangirl misunderstandings before turning and walking away.
"Was is something I said?"
***
Turns out, (y/n) was no longer in the Aogiri HQ. "What a productive hour of our time," you muttered, but Kaneki didn't even spare you a glance.
"You weren't asked to help."
"Whatever, twig."
"Sure thing, cactus."
The two of you glared at each other in a total stare down until you realized that you were wasting time arguing with Kaneki instead of looking for (y/n).
"Where to next, twiglet?"
Kaneki looked out over the river, leaning against the metal railing, and for a minute, you imagined how pleasantly delightful is would feel to push him over, but you resisted. "He'll be here soon."
"Twig, what you just did was like answering a yes/no question with 'yellow.' Would you mind making some sense for the rest of us sane people?"
Just then, a figure walked up. It was difficult to make out the features underneath the shadow of the hat's brim, but you could tell that it was a male, probably around Kaneki's age.
"Where'd you find the human, twig?" you asked, hiding your emotions of We're running out of time with your usual snappy comments. "I could go for a bite to eat right about now."
"Touch him and you die," Kaneki suggested lightly before turning towards the kid. "Hey, Hide." He nodded, and even you could pick up on the tension between the two of them.
"Long time no see," the guy, Hide, responded civilly, touching his fingers to his hat without removing it. "And whom do I have the pleasure of meeting?"
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. "I don't collaborate with humans, twig."
"Twig...is that supposed to be you?" Hide asked Kaneki, a faint smile on his face.
Kaneki shrugged. "There's no one else here."
"Whatever, Twig. Want to explain why you invited the human along?" you asked scornfully.
Kaneki shrugged. "Hide, do you want to introduce yourself?"
Hide also shrugged. "Why not?" He turned to you, smiling. "I know that you don't work with humans, but we've got them same mission for right now, so let's agree that you don't eat me and I don't call the CCG and get you locked in prison for life. Okay?"
You scowled. "Who are you, anyway? Do you even know (y/n)?"
Hide tilted his head, a half-smile lining his face. "Know her? Of course I know her. I'm her boyfriend."
There was a moment of silence before Kaneki grabbed the back of the collar of Hide's shirt and started dragging him over to the railing lining the river.
"Okay, okay!" Hide protested, laughing and shoving Kaneki off him. "We're not dating. Happy?" he asked, mainly directing his answer towards Kaneki, who stood with his arms crossed and an aloof expression on his face. "But yeah, I know her pretty well," he said, turning back to you, but even while smiling, something about him felt sad.
"I hate you already," you muttered, to which he only laughed.
"Sweet! We'll get along perfectly," he promised before looping an arm around Kaneki's shoulder. "So, where are we searching next?"
"Wait, you're tagging along with us?" you asked, alarmed. "We don't need a useless person such as yourself to help us."
"Look who's talking," Kaneki said dryly, causing you to glare at him.
"Like I asked before, why do we need this particular human? Just because he knows (y/n) means nothing. She's changed. So what's your worth?" you asked, stepping in front of Hide to block his path.
"Why am I here, are you asking?" he asked, sighing and breaking his carefree facade. "Because last night, before (y/n) went missing, she was sleeping over at my place."

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
You watched Ayato's face closely, observing the slight twitch under his eye as he tensed his jaw but refused to respond. Turning to Kaneki, you asked, "So, where have you searched before you called me?"
Kaneki shrugged, scuffing the sidewalk with the sole of his shoe in frustration as he looked down at the ground. "We wasted an hour searching Aogiri, but she wasn't there. That's when I called you to see if she was still at your place..."
"...And when I told you that she wasn't, that's when you told me to meet you here," you finished for him, nodding as you picked up the story from the point in which you'd entered. "Any ideas of where she might be?"
Kaneki hesitated, looking up for a second. "I'm trying to think, but...it feels like I didn't know her as well as I thought I did, because I can't think of anywhere that she'd go." Kaneki looked back down, disappointed in himself.
"Luckily for you, I've got a few ideas," you said after a moment of letting him bask in his own negativity. Kaneki had been your friend first, but the fact that he'd let down (y/n) on countless occasions still bothered you too much to just let go. Casting a small smile at him, you nodded to your left. "Follow me."

~time skip~

"Do you really think she'll be here?" Kaneki asked doubtfully, and you shook your head.
"Probably not. But we need as much help as we can get if we want to find her, and I happen to know that a few people here are probably willing to join us," you said, ignoring the CLOSED sign and knocking loudly on the door until you saw a tired figure approach the door with disdain in her eyes as she glared at you, opening the door just enough to talk.
"What are you doing here?" Touka asked grumpily, but then she saw Kaneki. "And you," she said in surprise, a weird look on her face, "Why are you..." But then she saw Ayato, and her look was murderous. "You bastard," she growled, flinging the door open and preparing to battle him, but you put your hands up in a defensive gesture.
"You can kill each other later, okay? We need your help right now."
She crossed her arms, scowling. "What do you want?"
"(Y/n) is missing," you said without wasting any time, and once again, her emotions flickered visibly to change from anger to concern.
"(Y/n)..." she murmured, eyes dark as she stared at the ground before looking up, her eyes meeting Kaneki's. "Is she...is she all right? At Aogiri? She's not...being hurt again, is she?"
Kaneki hesitated, throwing a dark look at Ayato that you would have to look into later. "She's...fine right now, just missing. Which is why we came." He looked to you for confirmation, and you nodded, letting him take the lead as you stepped back. It only made sense; Kaneki knew Touka better, and she'd trust him. "We need your help to search for her. Can you help us?"
She only paused for a brief second. "Of course. Just let me grab Hinami and the others. Is that okay? Can they all help?"
You nodded. "The more the merrier." With a half smile, she returned inside Anteiku, closing the door behind her, and you whirled on Ayato.
"What did you do?" you asked immediately, dropping the smile.
"Huh?" he asked, caught off guard and on the defensive. "What do you mean?"
"What did you do to hurt (y/n)?" you asked, and when he didn't respond, it clicked in your head. The broken wing, the bruising on her throat. With pure white anger in your mind, you advanced towards Ayato in long strides and put your hands around his throat. He was too surprised to even resist and you started tightening your grip. Maybe it's not surprise. Maybe it's guilt. Leaning in close to him, you glared into his eyes. "Is this how (y/n) felt when you choked her?" you asked, a glint of malice in your eyes before you released him, sending a glance towards Kaneki, who didn't make any move to stop you. "You knew?" you asked softly, gesturing towards Ayato, who held his chin up but looked strangely disappointed. "You knew that he hurt her?" Your mind was moving too quickly for you to process now. "You're the one who dropped (y/n) off at my house, aren't you? You knew that he hurt her and so you wanted to put her somewhere safe. That's all I am to you, even now, isn't it? I'm fine if you need somewhere to hide but not good enough for you to tell the truth."
"Would you have encouraged me to make a different decision?" Kaneki asked softly, and in frustration, you kicked the ground.
"No. I just..." I just hate the fact that (y/n) is getting hurt and I still can't protect her or do anything about it.
"I know," Kaneki said softly, nodding as though he understood your thoughts.
"You say that but it's only partially true," you muttered. "You can adapt and become stronger for (y/n), but what can I do? What can I do for her in this state?" you asked quietly, gesturing at yourself. "Nothing. I'm completely and utterly useless."
"You say that but it's only partially true," Kaneki said, copying your exact words with sadness in his dark eyes. "Yeah, I can change for (y/n). I can try to become stronger so I can protect her, but if I could do that, then she wouldn't have ended up at your apartment in the first place. She wouldn't be missing now, either. What can you do for her, you ask? Well, what can I do for her? Because it looks like no matter how hard either of us try, we can't keep her safe."
You and Kaneki stood quietly in commiseration before Ayato jumped into the conversation. "Look. I know you guys are all obsessed with protecting (y/n), but I think she can handle herself. So drop the knight-in-shining-armor complex already. I'm sick of it."
You were about to reply when the door opened and the three of you turned to face the added volunteers. Joining you, it seemed, would be Irimi, Touka, Hinami, Yomo, Koma, Mr. Yoshimura, Tsukiyama, Uta, and Nishio.
"Thank you all for agreeing to help," Kaneki said solemnly, bowing in gratitude before straightening up and addressing them. "I wouldn't have asked for your assistance unless in case of an emergency, and while all that we know for sure is that (y/n) is currently missing, I feel that something bad is on its way." He paused, looking at the ground. "And I realize that you probably haven't forgiven us for leaving Anteiku, but-"
"You had your reasons," Mr. Yoshimura filled in for Kaneki, nodding towards him in acknowledgement. "You haven't harmed anyone from Anteiku or damaged anything of ours in any way, so what is there to forgive?" With a kind but tired smile, Mr. Yoshimura lifted his face slightly. "And don't forget that you are welcome back any time."
"Thank you, sir," Kaneki said with a nod before turning to you. "We'll have to split up, but where should we start the search?"
You thought for a moment. "I can think of three places off hand. There's your old apartment. She might have gone there. Otherwise, she could have gone into the outskirts of the city where there are far less people around." That's where I brought Maddy that day. "And finally, she could have gone back to the old Aogiri headquarters."
There was a moment of silence as all involved parties remembered the bloodshed of that night.
Kaneki nodded and turned to the Aogiri staff. "We'll need to split up into three teams of four people each then. Hide, you take Uta, Yomo, and Tsukiyama to the old Aogiri HQ. Ayato can go with Nishio, Irimi, and Koma to the outskirts of the city." Another moment of charged silence as Ayato received a killer glare from Touka. "An I'll go with Touka, Hinami, and Mr. Yoshimura to my old apartment."
"Sounds good to me," Ayato said, stretching his arms behind his neck, and with a sinister smile, turned and started walking in the direction of the outskirts of the city, walking all alone without waiting for the others to catch up, and for a second, you felt bad for him. But then you remembered the bruises around (y/n)'s neck, and you clenched your fists in restraint.

~from (y/n)'s POV 1st person~
I'm not sure where I am. I can't remember. There's four walls around me, though. I know that much.
The air is cold. I know that, too. I know because when I exhale, my breath turns white in the air, white like my dress and like my pale skin that keeps growing paler and paler.
My insides hurt, but I can't do anything about it. It's too cold for me to want to do anything about it.
Sometimes, when I hurt so much that I think a gaping hole will appear in my stomach, I start coughing, and as my breath hitches and catches on the frigid air, I cough more and more, harder and harder.
My dress isn't white anymore, but my skin still is.
That is, except for my wrists. They're a pinkish red. That's not from the coughing but from the chaffing away of skin as the iron of the chains rubs at my wrists.
I don't want to be here.
I don't want to be anywhere.
***
It's not so bad, I guess. It's cold, but the air numb everything else. I feel like my entire existence can just disappear into the cold that's seeping withing me. Sometimes, I think, I should have been stronger. If I were stronger, I wouldn't have ended up where I am right now. But is it really so bad here? I'm alone...nobody to risk, nobody to lose...There's no one to put their hand in mine and warm up my heart a bit, but there's also no one suffering around me. It's not so bad. Being strong...being weak...what's the point? We're all alone in the end.

~from Reader's POV 2nd person~
You were alone, but now you're not. You're not sure quite how you know, but you sense his presence, always just out of your peripherals, always just out of reach. You turn your head, the cold feeling oppressive instead of soothing now, and just as alarm bells are going off in your head, screaming, This is all wrong! It's all wrong! everything stops...
You stop turning, sensing that the presence has left. You crave the relief of solitude, but you sense a different presence this time, a much smaller one.
You look on the ground and see a centipede.
The hair on the back of your neck stands up in fear as you do what you haven't done in what seems like forever - scream.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
"Ow," you said, moaning as you dropped to your knees, clutching your head in agony.
"What is it?" Touka asked, Mr. Yoshimura just behind her, looking at you worriedly as Hinami stares down the road, clearly feeling edgy.
"I don't...know," you gritted out, sighing in relief as the random headache that felt like someone was flashing a strobe light in your brain dissipated without a trace. You got back up to your feet, glancing down at your hands in confusion. "What was that? What just happened?"
"That's what I want to know," Touka said, leaning back in thought and pushing her hair out of her eyes.
"Maybe..." you began, looking at the ground as you felt the color drain from your already pale face. The winter air was chilling, even for a ghoul, but that wasn't the reason this time.
"What?" Touka asked immediately, and you weren't sure how much she was worried about you versus her concern about finding your sister. Again, you felt that ache when you thought of all the times she must have felt this way, all alone, with no one to turn to...
Shaking your head, you cleared your throat and blinked, trying to keep the snow out of your eyes. "It's just...sometimes, when (y/n) is feeling something strongly, I can sense a little bit of it. It's probably something to do with the fact that we're twins, but it was never really confirmed..." You realized you were rambling and brought back the main issue. "Just a minute ago, my head felt like it was going to split open."
"And you think that you were picking up on her sensory information?" Mr. Yoshimura questioned calmly, and you nodded, tracing the ground with your eyes.
"I think so, but it's never been this strong before." You frowned before looking up. "And I've never gotten this particular feeling from her."
"Which feeling?" Touka asked, looking curious and worried and pissed off all at the same time.
You bit your lip, looking out in the direction of your old apartment before looking down at Hinami, who was also looking rather uncannily in the same direction. You nodded that way without answering Touka. "We better hurry," was your only reply.
As you walked, she kept shooting you glances, expecting you to let her in on whatever your big secret was, but you weren't ready yet. Besides, it wouldn't help anyone, knowing that the primary emotion that you had picked up on from (y/n) was raw terror.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
You were about halfway to the old headquarters when you took a side street. "This way," you said, listening for their footsteps.
"Where to?" was all Yomo asked as he materialized by your side. You weren't stupid; you'd known that Kaneki had grouped some of the strongest fighters around you because you were the only human among the group, i.e., the only being that couldn't protect himself. You frowned as you walked when you thought that Hinami could probably fight better than you. Still, there's one advantage I have over them.
"Right here," you said, turning and giving Yomo your characterizing smile. "Wait a minute."
Uta just shrugged and Tsukiyama crossed his arms.
You hurried inside your apartment and did a quick scan before looking under the couch. "C'mon, Maddy. We need your help." With a little coaxing, the cat came out, and you attached a leash to her collar that you used when taking her to the vet before leading her out of your apartment.
"What's with the cat?" Tsukiyama wanted to know.
"She'd make a great mask," Uta offered, as though that were helpful somehow, and you slowly nudged Maddy to the farther side of you so he wouldn't try to make a stuffed animal out of her.
"What's your reasoning?" Yomo asked, his eyes serious. He trusted you, it seemed, but he still wanted to know why you'd brought the cat.
"Because she's familiar with (y/n)," you explained. "She probably remembers her scent. Sure, she's no bloodhound, but if she by chance manages to pick up on something..." You shrugged. "It can't hurt."
Yomo nodded approvingly. "Fine. Just keep her quiet." Yomo cast a final look at the cat, and as he turned away, you noticed a slight blush on his cheeks.
Holy crap, is Yomo a cat person? You looked at him with newly curious eyes before he glared at you.
"Hurry up," he said in an agitated voice, his eyes flicking down to Maddy once again as he forced himself to turn his back to you and the cat.
If (y/n) hadn't been in danger...
If time weren't of the very essence...
If you weren't a weak human...
You might have laughed. But, (y/n) was in danger, time was of the essence, and Yomo could crushed you up into a million little pieces and make a tinfoil swan out of your innards.
So you just nodded professionally and began walking away, definitely not smiling while Yomo couldn't see you.

~from Ayato's POV 2nd person~
You looked around at your group. What were they called, again? Irimi, Koma, and...Nish? Nash? Nash-o? You'd forgotten, but the megane didn't matter to you. Neither did Irimi nor Koma, although you were well aware of who they really were, or rather, who they had been before they joined the Rainbow Cafe, aka, Anteiku of the peace-loving twigs.
All you could think was that you'd struggled for so long, fighting to be strong, doing whatever it took and getting rid of anyone who got in your way, all because you wanted to protect Touka. Well, it seemed that Touka hated you (as she should), most likely because the most injury she'd received had all come from you. Great job, little bro, you commended yourself sarcastically. Still, while Touka was important, she'd also dropped out of your mind. The only one you could think of was (y/n), her white hair, her sad eyes...
She was the same as you. That's why you needed to find her.
At least, that's what you told yourself.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
As you walked, you watched Maddy for any signs of familiarity or recognition, but she seemed content to just waltz along single-mindedly.
"Are you sure this cat knows (y/n)?" Tsukiyama asked.
Uta looked slightly hopefully. "If you want to get rid of her, just let me know and I'll give you my address."
Ew, no. What if the next time I saw (y/n), she had Maddy's face for a mask? The thought disturbed you far too much for you to even voice.
"Look," Yomo said, and all chatter stopped as everyone looked down at Maddy. This time, she was mewling softly, looking disturbed as she flicked her tail and pawed at a chain link fence.
Looking up, you found yourself facing the old Aogiri headquarters.
"A coincidence?" you asked carefully, still examining the building.
Yomo gave no sign of answering, but Uta stepped up next to him, caressing the building with his ghoulish eyes.
"I don't believe in coincidence," he said in his soft purr. "Only fate."
You looked at him weird a weird glance. "I'm not into guys," you clarified, smiling as he smirked and gave you a wink.
"Anytime you change your mind..."
"Cut it out, you two," Yomo said as Tsukiyama joined you at the fence and inhaled deeply.
"I can smell it," he said softly.
"Smell what?" you asked, curious.
"Her blood," he said, sounding almost aroused. "Her sweet, sweet blood...so fine, finer than anything I've tasted...how I wish to devour her...to sip from the nectar that is flowing in her veins." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his eyes turning black. "Wait for me, my sweet darling, my butterfly."
You were about to recklessly attempt to take him on when Uta saw your expression and caught you by the shoulder.
"Hey, now," he said, his voice soft and melodic as always. "He doesn't mean anything by it."
"He said he wants to drink her blood for pleasure," you reiterated, grinding your teeth together.
Uta just sighed and released you. "He's always like this. Besides, you need his help, don't you? Or can you save her on your own?" he asked, and suddenly you were able to see past his tattoos and eccentric demeanor. He'd been the one in the group who you'd been the least sure of, with his aura of mystery and carefree attitude, but now you saw that he was serious. He was worried about (y/n) too, and he wanted to get her back. It seemed that he was suggesting that if you also wanted to retrieve her (alive), that you'd do best to humble yourself.
You nodded, touching the brim of your hat with your mouth sealed into a thin line to hold yourself back from saying anything unnecessary, and he nodded back, smirking. "A wise one." He turned to Yomo. "How are we getting in."
"The west entrance," he said in his low voice, nodding towards what appeared to be an opening in the fence due to any number of unfortunate accidents. Currently parked there was a large truck, and Yomo made his way over to it and easily leaped onto the top. Tsukiyama followed with ease, leaving you and Uta, who smirked at you once more.
"Take my hand," he said, and although avoided meeting his eyes, you accepted and let him assist you in mounting the truck. Once up, you took your hand back, hearing him laugh. "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
Once again, you ground your teeth together to keep yourself from breaking open at the seams with all of the things you wanted to say. Instead, you turned and gave a slight bow. "Thank you," you said, your words strained, but he just laughed, not meanly, just openly. Maybe he's not so bad, you thought as you turned to face Yomo.
"Follow me," he told you specifically before meeting Tsukiyama's eyes. "Search the first floor." He turned to Uta, nodding. "Second." Addressing both of them, he added, "If it's clear, meet back on the first floor. If it's not clear, we'll find you." He pivoted so he was facing you. "C'mon. We're taking the third floor."
He immediately turned and began walking into the building, leaving you to jog after him as Tsukiyama and Uta slipped into the shadows and disappeared.
Please be okay, (y/n), you prayed silently as you followed Yomo. I'm on my way for real this time.

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
The apartment was empty, just as you'd left it. That much was clear.
When the others saw the broken knife shards, they didn't say anything, but when you were in (y/n)'s bedroom, staring at the possessions of the sister you thought'd you know but had come to realize that you truly didn't, Touka entered, interrupting your moment of recalling the past.
"Hey," she said, sitting next to you on the bed.
"Hey," you said softly, echoing her and nodding. You looked around. "It's like I didn't know her at all," you whispered while Touka just listened. "There's nothing here, nothing to say who she was or how she lived or what was important to her. It just says that she was her and she was alive...but there's no...no feeling in this room. Just the feeling of being alone."
Touka was quiet for a moment. "You aren't in the wrong here," she said, startling you as she met your eyes with her own fierce determination. "You wallow around in self-guilt, trailing after her because you weren't there for her before, but you aren't making anything better by doing that. Besides, you're blaming yourself because you were enjoying your life, right? You went to a good school, had at least one good friend, received personal fulfillment through reading...all while (y/n) worked to earn money and stayed by herself. Maybe that's how she wanted to live. We can't know now, can we? But if that wasn't the life she wanted, then that's her fault," Touka said. "She should have tried harder. You can't play the passive game in life, or you'll be trampled."
"Touka..." you began. Aren't they friends? Why is Touka being so cruel to (y/n) when she's not even here?
"And I'm going to make damn well sure to tell her so as soon as we get her back," Touka clarified, and you gave her a half smile. You got it now; you understood. Touka was a friend who wanted to push (y/n) to be the best, happiest person she could be. She wasn't being critical; she was ready to encourage (y/n) to try harder at expressing herself.
Only if we get (y/n) back, you thought to yourself, but for some reason, you felt a bit of optimism. Maybe it was being relieved of your guilt, or maybe it was just realizing the fact that so many people cared about (y/n) and wanted the best for her, more than (y/n) herself probably even realized.
"Thanks, Touka," you said softly as you stood up, leaving the room with her and closing the door. "I think we're done here."

~from Narrator’s POV 3rd person~
Tsukiyama moved swiftly yet thoroughly, following the scent of blood through the building as h searched. He could smell her sweet fragrance, but it was faint and seemed to be spread around the whole building.
"I don't..." he paused, confused as he inhaled via his nose. "Why is this..." He felt her blood tugging him from two directions - upward and to the right. With a glance at the ceiling, Tsukiyama left the upper scent to the others as he opened the nearest door on his right.
He stopped in the doorway, taking in the sight before him. In the middle of the room was a bucket of blood - her blood - and nothing else. He advanced towards the bucket, eyes scanning the otherwise empty room. Then he was close enough to peer into the bucket, and his eyes savored the sight of such fine dark-red blood.
Whipping a wine glass out of an unseen pocket, he poured himself a glass and took a single dainty sip, letting go of the wine glass as his taste buds exploded, the clear glass shattering against the ground. "What a rich flavor...so pure, tainted only by the darkness of her soul..." Tsukiyama rambled on as a shadow slipped into the room and, on silent feet, lunged for Tsukiyama, who calmly caught the intruder by the throat and snapped his neck, tossing the corpse to the ground.
Tsukiyama slowly turned towards the doorway with a frightening expression on his face. "You would interrupt my meal?" he asked, his eyes turning dark as he revealed his kagune. "Be ready to accept the consequences," he warned, and then they started flying at him.
He grinned. "A meal always tastes better when you work for it."
***
Uta crept around quietly but overtly, hands in pockets and eyes seemingly lazy as they scanned the doorways.
"So you're not here, my little butterfly?" he asked aloud as he reached the end of the hallway. He turned slowly and smirked towards the second-to-last door on the left. "Come out, come out, and play," he called softly, and the door opened a tiny bit. "That's right. We're all friends here," he said, and the door swung open a sliver more.
In half a second, Uta had appeared at the door, peering through the crack with one eye. "Hello there," he said as his hand gripped the knob. Then he threw open the door and did what ghouls did best - kill things, and quickly, the more blood the merrier.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
You kept close to Yomo, trailing after him like a shadow. He never checked to see if you were still following, just continued walking steadily onward. You fell into a process - he'd check the rooms while you kept watch in the hallway. Each time, you'd scan his face, but it was blank. Nothing, yet again.
You were walking down the hallway with Yomo when he held up a hand, pausing. You followed suit, trying to guess what he was sensing, but your senses were too weak to pick up on anything unusual beyond the human range.
After a minute, Yomo nodded slowly and walked toward the last door at the end of the hallway, ignoring all the other rooms that you hadn't yet checked.
With his hand on the door knob, he turned to you, motioning for you to stay where you were. Then he slipped into the room.
You heard some muffled cracks, but you stayed put like Yomo had told you to, even though your heart suffocated a little bit as you thought about the possibility of (y/n) being in there.
Five minutes later, Yomo emerged from the room alone, silent as a wraith, and closed the door softly behind him, the click echoing in the dead hallway. He continued walking, looking the same as ever with the exception of blood on his knuckles as he proceeded to the stairwell. You followed, half-wanting to ask him about who - or what - had been in the room, but the longer you waited, the less you wanted to ask the silent ghoul.
Instead, you mounted the stairs and followed him onto the fourth floor. You knew as soon as your feet hit the ground.
"She's here."
Yomo nodded grimly, just as you heard someone, or rather someones, running up the stairwell. You both turned to face the intruders, inding them to be none other than Kaneki and his team.
Yomo wasted no time. "Go find the others. Kaneki, stay with me."
Mr. Yoshimura nodded and ushered the girls back towards the stairs, Touka casting a final glance at Kaneki before leaving. Once it was just the three of you, Kaneki turned in a circle, taking in the old scene.
"I can feel her," he whispered, as though afraid to disturb the relative peace that seemed to stifle the air. "She's close."
Yomo nodded and began walking down the hallway, leaving both of you to catch up.
Just as he stopped, Kaneki also stopped and actually took a step back. "That's where..." Kaneki began, shaking his head.
"That's where what?" you asked, clearly missing something from the silent communication happening between Kaneki and Yomo.
"That's where (y/n) was tortured," Kaneki continued softly. "That's where she is, right now. She's in there. I just know."
You looked to Yomo, who simply nodded, his face blank, and you stared at the doors.
(Y/n), are you in pain? Were you in pain the last time you were here? What a stupid question. I'm sorry for being so tactless...I just need to see you, alive and well...
Taking a step towards the doors, you put your hands on the door handles, and with a final glance towards Yomo and Kaneki, who looked almost frozen, you gave a big pull, revealing...
***
...an empty room, occupied only by a broken chair in the center.
"Damn it," you whispered, turning and kicking the wall. Kaneki looked too visibly shaken to comment, and Yomo just looked grimly confused.
"I don't get it," Kaneki whispered, falling to his knees. "What's going on? She...she should have been here."
"She was," Yomo said, nodding towards the chair. "Until quite recently. The other intruders that had to be...dealt with...were a distraction while whoever has (y/n) changed her location."
Uta and Tsukiyama materialized at the doorway, the others behind them, and Tsukiyama fell to his knees.
"So close...her blood, so fresh...so tantalizing, so tempting..."
Uta stepped around him and moved past you, walking right up to the chair and laying his hand on its back. Despite normally being fairly laid-back, this time, you noticed that his jaw was clenched as he held up the chains connected to the chair. In one motion, he ripped off the chains and hurled the chair against the wall, turning calmly as it split and crumbled to the ground in jagged wooden shards. "We have to hurry," he stated simply, and you nodded, half-dazed.
"She should be close," Mr. Yoshimura offered from beyond the door, and Yomo nodded.
"Do we have any idea of who could have done this?" Kaneki asked, clearly trying to move with the group but still struggling.
Yomo set his jaw. "Someone who was involved or privy to knowledge about the CCG raid and what happened in this room. Someone with access to surgical tools."
"Why surgical tools?" Kaneki asked, and you turned away, already realizing the answer. Instruments of torture.
Yomo didn't respond. "And it seems that he or she has a personal connection with (y/n)."
"Why is that?" you asked, trying to gather details with a level head.
This time it was Uta who answered, eyes dark. "Someone seems to be targeting (y/n) specifically. They could have taken a ghoul that had no ties with anyone, someone that wouldn't be missed, but they took her knowing that we would come, even setting up distractions for us along the way. It's too much of a coincidence."
Yomo nodded. "Then we need to start searching. Now." He turned to Tsukiyama. "Can you smell her blood?"
He nodded almost dreamily, and before he could start ranting, Yomo cut him off.
"Can you follow the trail?"
Tsukiyama paused, tilting his head and inhaling. "It's faint but...it's recent enough...and so exotic..."
Kaneki looked as uncomfortable as you felt, but what could you possibly say? Don't talk about her blood like that? So you stayed quiet. After all, if it would find (y/n)...
Tsukiyama got up and nodded to Yomo. "I'll do my best, if it means I get to see that beautiful flower again." He turned and walked out of the room, heading down the hallway as Yomo turned to Touka's group (minus Kaneki).
"We can handle this. Go track down Ayato and the others and bring them back to meet up with us. We don't know what we're dealing with here."
Mr. Yoshimura nodded, and Touka set her face with a determined expression, taking Hinami's hand in her own. Then they were off.
Yomo nodded to you and Uta, and you followed him out of the door. Tsukiyama was standing at the end of the hallway, looking out through a wall of glass. He turned to face you with a smile.
"Ready?" he asked, and the others nodded.
"Then let's go." He turned and used his kagune to shatter the glass, immediately leaping out and seemingly flying through the air.
Yomo leaped after him, Uta winking at you as he grabbed your arm and followed, dragging you (flailing wildly) through the air after them as Tsukiyama and Yomo hit the ground and began sprinting, Kaneki following a few steps behind. Even after you were on the ground, Uta still held onto you as he ran at speeds that humans couldn't physically reach.
With Tsukiyama in the lead, you, Yomo, Kaneki, and Uta crossed the city in record time, going only off of Tsukiyama's intuition and the hope that kept you going. After ten minutes, you turned slightly. "Where are we going?" you asked, speaking right into Uta's ear because he wouldn't be able to hear you otherwise.
He shrugged good-naturedly. "I'm not even sure that Shuu knows."
"But what's even in this direction? (Y/n) didn't live over here, Anteiku is on the other side of the city, Aogiri's headquarters are far away...she never even came out here, as far as I know, much less knew anybody who lived over here. If there's a personal reason behind this, then..." you trailed off.
Uta's eyes caught the shadows that fell over the city. "I wish I knew. (Y/n) has been hurt enough," he said softly, serious for once, and behind his facade of calm, you sensed anger. "Whoever is doing this..."
You felt his intent strong enough that a threat wasn't even necessary.
Just then, Tsukiyama stopped in front of a building, and Yomo and Kaneki followed suit, Uta releasing you once he'd stopped.
"She's here?" Yomo asked Tsukiyama, who c***ed his head as though listening to vibrations in the earth as he took deep breaths in and out.
"Undoubtedly," he responded. "There's too much of her blood her for her not to be here. Whether or not her blood remains inside her...that's outside of my ability," he said, and you were surprised by how straightforward he became when he got serious. No more creepy ranting (thank goodness), but he seemed almost gravely serious, which was a scary contrast.
Kaneki nodded. "I can sense her."
You frowned, shaking your head as you entered the conversation. "I'm not doubting you or anything, but why here? What reason could anyone possibly have for bringing (y/n) here?"
The five of you looked up at the building in front of you.
Finally, Yomo said, "I don't know. We don't even know if the location has any importance."
"But it does," Kaneki spoke up, and everyone turned to look at him, his expression hovering between dread and pain. "We only came here once, but this is the hospital that created us. This is where we became ghouls."

~from Kaneki's POV 2nd person~
You took a single step towards the door, reaching out a hand and resting your fingers against the cold metal, feeling the tug of memories just beyond your reach.
This was the origin of your shattered life in a ghoul's body with the soul of a human.
"Hey, you all right?" Hide asked, and you shakily exhaled, turning to face him.
"Yeah," you said after a moment, looking away from your friend.
"I hate to interrupt," Uta began.
"But we need to hurry," Yomo finished, nodding towards the doors.
Tsukiyama stepped past you and yanked on the right door, ripping it clean off the hinges with ease as Uta calmly pulled the left, letting it swing outward on still intact hinges.
"Unlocked," he pointed out, chuckling dryly, but neither of them paused. Instead, they moved into the building, watching the shadows, and you watched Yomo and Hide enter before you followed them in.
The lights were all off, the hospital strangely empty.
"Where are all the patients?" Hide asked, following your own thought process.
"This hospital shut down a month ago," Yomo responded, looking ahead. "There was a rumor about certain...practices...that the doctors were using. They were never proved, but the publicity ruined the place."
"So maybe this location was a simple coincidence," you tried, but Uta shook his head from somewhere down the hallway.
"What did I tell you about coincidences?" He turned, stopping suddenly. "Do you remember which room (y/n) stayed in?"
You thought about it. "We stayed in the same room. I know that much. It's a bit vague in my mind, but if you directed me to the right hallway, maybe..."
Tsukiyama nodded. "I can get us close." He turned and began navigating his way through the hospital, all of you following closely behind.
Finally, he turned and stopped. "She's in this hallway," he said, and you nodded, moving past him and searching the doors, looking for a familiar number or symbol, and then you saw it, or maybe you sensed it. You weren't exactly sure. You just knew that she was in there.
Suddenly anxious yet hopeful, hoping this awful nightmare would come to an end, you ran to the door and opened it, calling out her name. "(Y/n)...(y/n)..."
Your voice trailed off as your eyes struggled to process what you were seeing. You fell to your knees, retching into the corner.
"What's wrong?" you heard Hide ask from the hallway, but Tsukiyama pulled him away while Uta and Yomo slipped into the room with you, shutting the door as Tsukiyama responded, "It's nothing you want to see."
"(Y/n)..." you murmured, getting to your feet and taking unsteady steps towards a hospital bed, the only furniture in the room.
Strapped to the bed was (y/n), dead, the cause due primarily to the gaping hole in her chest where her heart should have laid.
Yomo came up next to the bed, brushing her hair out of her face with a gentleness you'd never seen him exhibit before. With a grunt, he turned away, slamming his fist into the wall. "Damn it."
"We were too late," you whispered in horror, feeling utterly broken, like half of you was just missing. "They got to her before we could."
Uta approached her, placing a simple black mask over her face. "Migrating away from the living?" he asked softly. "My little butterfly." Then he pulled back, seeming to withdraw into himself.
You felt tears sliding down your face, the first time you remember crying in what felt like forever. "Why her?" you asked aloud, leaning against the wall for support. You reached out a hand to touch her one last time, but you couldn't do it, and you dropped the hand as your vision darkened. You got another splitting headache like earlier, and you clutched your head as a wave of agony spread behind your eyelids.
A moment passed, and the pain was gone, severed as you felt the connection you shared with (y/n) - that special link between two twins of tragedy - disappear.
"Are you okay?" Uta asked, but it seemed less like he cared about your emotional turmoil and more like he felt that he had to ask since Yomo didn't seem to be in a talking mood (even less than usual, anyhow).
You didn't respond, just asked the question again. "Why (y/n)? Why her?"
"She was going to die soon anyway," a voice from the connected hospital room said, and everybody froze, Uta slowly turning towards the voice with a smirk lining his features.
"What do you mean?" you asked shakily, still leaning against the wall, unable to face whoever was there. "What do you mean, she was going to die?" you asked, a little louder and more or less slightly hysterical.
He chuckled. "Put simply, everyone's going to die sometime. But why (y/n) specifically? You want to know why I chose her?" Your silence provided him an answer. "Did you ever notice how sick she was?"
"Sick?" you repeated. "What do you mean, sick?"
He laughed again, and you felt your anger levels spike inside of you, hidden underneath the pain of loss. "I guess that's my answer. You didn't really think that there were no negative effects to cannibalism, did you, Mr. Kaneki?"
You felt sick inside. "Yeah, but...death?"
He sighed, and you could just imagine him holding a hand up to his forehead in a dramatic, exasperated gesture. "Truly, it's her own fault. The side effects alone were killing her from the inside out, but starving herself only made it worse."
"Starving?" you repeated, sounding as though you were choking. "That can't be true. Why would (y/n)..."
"It's not like we can ask her now, but my guess? She became too attached to humans."
Hide's face flashed before your eyes. He was the only person from their old life that she'd seen as a friend, or at least, not a stranger, and he was one of the last people to see her. Hide...was (y/n)'s death your fault? The thought pained you beyond anything you could have imagined.
"But don't go around blaming people," the voice spoke up, as though reading your mind. "It was either her or you, and I kindly selected the specimen with the lower estimated lifespan. You can thank me later."
"Thank you?" you asked incredulously. "For killing (y/n)?"
"She's just a ghoul," he said coldly, "and only half of one at that."
"But she's half human, too," you defended, and you heard him laugh.
"Then she's guilty of murder. Which is she? A half-monster or a killer of man? I'll tell you what she is," he responded, "she's dead. That's all there is to it. But don't worry; the cause was just."
You couldn't take it any longer. "You have no right to talk about (y/n) like that," you said, and you turned around, your eyes widening as you took in the man who had murdered your sister.
***
The man looked faintly familiar to you. Who is he? you asked yourself, running through all the details you knew about him. He knows about (y/n) and I and what we are; he chose her specifically; he has a personal connection to us...
And the last fact, the one that resounded the most in your brain.
The hospital.
It made sense now. Maybe not all of it, but at least why him. "You...you're the doctor-"
"That created you, in a sense. Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you again," he said, giving you a small wave.
"You killed (y/n)! What about the Hippocratic Oath? Doesn't that mean anything to you?" you besought, but he just shrugged and laughed.
"(Y/n) was my patient, once...when she was a human. Besides, this hospital has closed down since then. I'm no longer an employed doctor. At least, not by this institution."
You felt yourself giving in to anger. "I don't care who's paying you. Why did you need (y/n)? What's the purpose behind her murder?"
The doctor gave you a tight-lipped grin. "Kaneki, pause for a minute and think about what a miracle you are. On the precipice of death...and somehow saved and brought back to a life on Earth."
"You mean Hell, I believe," you spat out. "Stop playing God, Doctor. It's not an attractive quality in the least."
"That's not what I'm getting at, Kaneki. What I mean to say is that you and (y/n) were the first successful creation-type ghouls. Most ghouls are born as they are; you and your deceased twin are man-made ghouls. You're one of a kind - now anyway," he said, and you heard his unspoken words, Because (y/n) is gone. "Not forever, certainly. But for now..." He shrugged and smiled. "You're something of a miracle child."
"I never wanted to be a miracle child," you said, and he laughed bitterly.
"Is that so? Then both you and (y/n) would have been dead ages ago. You're complaining about her absence now, but if it weren't for me, she wouldn't have had these last few months in the first place. Her life was mine to give, and mine to take."
"That's not how it works," you said angrily, and just then, the window shattered inward. Neither Uta nor Yomo flinched, although you moved slightly. The doctor just stayed put as a figure came crashing through the glass.
"Ayato?" you asked, frowning, but he wasn't paying attention to you. Instead, his entire attention was focused on (y/n). You saw the color drain from his face, his breath catching, and then suddenly, he was running on pure anger. He walked up to the doctor and, grabbing him by the throat, stuck him out the window.
"How does it feel when your air stream has become blocked?" he asked cruelly, pushing his thumb against the doctor's throat. "When spots appear at the edge of your eyes? How about when you're so sick that you cough up blood every night and can barely walk?" He threw the doctor back into the room but didn't take his eyes off of him. "I guess you wouldn't know about that, about how much (y/n) had to suffer. You had no right to kill her, and in such a..." His voice caught for a second. "In such a damn awful way. Ripping out her heart? What are you, sadistic? Sick in the head? What kind of way is that to treat someone?" Before the doctor could say anything, Ayato pressed his shoe down on his throat. "Don't give me that crap. Ghoul, human, it doesn't matter. It's a common courtesy to not dissect someone."
He released his foot, and the doctor coughed a bit before sitting up, an insane grin on his face. "Dissection implies that the subject is dead."
"You don't mean to tell me that you ripped out her heart while she was alive?"
The doctor just grinned. "I believe the word you are looking for is vivisection."
Even Ayato looked sick, as did you. Uta just took a step forward. "Don't you know that it's cruel to pin the wings of butterflies?"
The doctor smiled. "I'm sure that you know plenty about cruelty."
"Only from watching you," Uta replied, smirking. "What's to stop me from ripping out all of your organs right now and letting your screams resound off of the walls of this building?"
The doctor looked positively maniacal. "Yourself. Don't you see? I can create ghouls. Isn't that what you want? For ghouls to overrun the humans? With the CCG cracking down on ghouls now, you're a marked breed, a dying existence. You wouldn't pass up the chance for your race to continue."
Uta just grinned slowly, his kagune unraveling behind him. "Bad answer."
Faster than your eyes could process, his kagune whipped out and penetrated the doctor's stomach. He sank to his knees, screaming as blood spattered against the wall and the floor. A second later, a weird object dropped on the ground.
"That's your liver," Uta announced almost happily. "While humans only have one, don't worry. You've got a lot of other precious organs inside of your skin, and I'll be happy to show them all to you. Oh, but don't fret," he said, smirking with a look of pure insanity in his eyes. "I'll save the heart for last. I do hope you'll still be alive by then."
The doctor tried to protest and reason with Uta, but there was no use. You turned away, sickened and unable to look.
"Take Ayato and leave," Yomo said, his voice quiet but strong. You heard the pain in his voice, the regret...but also the steely core inside that meant as soon as you left, he'd be joining Uta.
Knowing that you couldn't stomach any more of all the bloodshed, you nodded for Ayato to follow you and left, using the door instead of the window, with Ayato right behind you. You closed the door after him and turned to face Hide.
"What's going on?" he asked urgently, for once without his charismatic smile. "Did you find (y/n)? Is she all right?"
You resisted the urge to throw up when you thought of her tortured corpse and the doctor that was being tortured as you spoke. Neither you nor Ayato could answer him.

~from Hide's POV 2nd person~
No. It can't be...not after all of this...She can't be...I can't...You turned to Ayato, knowing that while Kaneki wouldn't give you any details, Ayato had some sort of connection to (y/n). Maybe he would tell you. "Ayato," you said, no longer intent on teasing or injuring him. "Ayato, what-"
He put his hand on your shoulder, his eyes slightly red and his skin slightly pale, as though he were shell-shocked. "Trust me, Hide. You don't want to know."
"But I need to know," you insisted, knowing all the while that you were digging your own grave. Tsukiyama moved away respectfully to give you some space.
"Why torment yourself?" Ayato asked, being surprisingly decent, almost human.
"Because I love (y/n)," you said softly, and both Kaneki and Ayato froze. Then Kaneki turned away, as though he couldn't even look at you, and Ayato's eyes fell.
"Damn," he said, and when he looked up, you were surprised to see tears in his eyes - tears in the eyes of the last person you'd ever expect to see crying. "You sacrifice everything to protect them, but in the end, you can't do a thing," he murmured, and you weren't sure who he was talking to anymore. Then he walked past Tsukiyama and down the hallway, never looking back, never turning around, just trudging onward with set shoulders and a new burden to carry.
Just as he left, the door to the room flew open, Uta and Yomo calmly walking out, spattered with blood from head to toe. "We'd better hurry," Uta instructed in his carefree manner, but something dark was lurking underneath his facade. "Just before he died, he mentioned that he'd wired this entire building with bombs rigged to go off sixty seconds after his heart stopped beating. Meaning that we have roughly..." He tilted his head. "Twenty-eight seconds, I'd say, to get clear of the blast zone."
"We won't make it back the way we came in," Tsukiyama replied in an authoritative voice. "Not enough time."
"The window," Kaneki offered weakly. "The one Ayato came in."
Uta nodded. "Onward and outward, then."
He opened the door to the room, gesturing for everyone to follow him, and you saw Kaneki cast you a quick glance before you entered the room behind him. He relaxed visibly when he saw that the body on the hospital bed had been covered with a sheet in exchange for a burial shroud, enough to at least hide the carnage from your human eyes, and you had no doubt that (y/n) was under the sheet.
You paused for a moment as first Uta, then Tsukiyama jumped out the window with ease. Yomo cast a final glance at the bed and turned, jumping out the window, leaving just you and Kaneki.
After a second, he said, "C'mon, Hide. We only have seventeen seconds."
You put on your best fake-happy voice. "Right behind you."
He cast you a pitiful half-smile before jumping out the window, and as soon as he was gone, you turned back towards the hospital bed. Half of you wanted to leave the sheet over her and remember her as she'd been in the past, but you couldn't do that. You just couldn't.
You peeled back the shroud, your eyes growing dark when you saw the hole in her chest, and as tears started streaming down your face, and you laughed softly, a laugh filled with regret, longing, loss, and pain, a laugh that didn't sound like a laugh at all.
"At least your lips are intact," you whispered, leaning down. "So I can kiss you one final time." With that, you leaned down and pressed your lips to hers, your tears falling on her face.
Ten seconds left, your inner will-to-survive conscience informed you, and you cast a sad glance towards the shattered window. Ten seconds left to escape and continue living.
You looked out the broken window and saw Kaneki on the ground below, motioning frantically for you to jump, but you just smiled, tears still streaming down your face, and shook your head, removing your hat and throwing it down to him. He looked confused for a second, but then his eyes widened, and it looked like he was going to jump and drag you out, but Uta put a hand on his arm, his signature smirk for once missing. His eyes were dark, but he nodded to you. You nodded back, glad on some level that someone understood, and you turned away from the window and back to the hospital bed.
With three seconds left to live, you clasped the love of your life's cold hand in your own.
The seasons die one after another.
And with that final thought, the building exploded, consuming two souls that were never able to intertwine.