Having both gone to the same elementary school, Ione and I were, at the very least, aware of each other since the second grade. I would maybe catch a glimpse of her during recess, but knew nothing about her, nor did I necessarily have any desire to. It wasn’t until our last year that we’d actually shared a teacher and became familiar. Though, familiar is a strong word considering we weren’t particularly fond of one another. I stayed out of her way and she stayed out of mine. The types of people we were at the time simply didn’t mesh well. Any less-than-amiable words we may have had for the other were kept to ourselves.

I believed the end of my association with Ione came after our graduation from grade school, and for a long time it really had. The entirety of junior high went by without even a memory of her, aside from maybe an Instagram post liked with indifference. The fact I even knew this person seemed wholly inconsequential. Any connection we may have had was completely lost with my secession from social media late into middle school.

Of course, the side effects of doing so became glaringly obvious and I was overcome by social obscurity, and attending a high school with a student body of over 6,000 students was only salt in the self-inflicted wound. Naturally, after two years loneliness and self-loathing, I decided to take action and re-engage with social media, luckily having accumulated connections with past friends and acquaintances throughout the years prior. I think the most surprising thing of all is that it actually worked. A month into my Junior year I received an unexpected message:

            yo we went to PS3 together right?

 The question had an air of nonchalance I envied; it threw caution to the wind and was sent without too much thought, something I couldn’t muster without falling into an anxious fit. Of course, I tried to follow suit.

            yeah, Karen’s class?

            yeah ! hmu on Facebook we should catch up !

            k, ill add you

Ione and I conferred the nothings that teenagers who don’t know a thing about each other gravitate towards: school, music, friends, et cetera. My heartrate was faster than it had any right to be considering how relatively dry the conversation was in retrospect, but it was the first time I’d had a real interaction with somebody I’d just met in over a year. I used words outside my vocabulary in a futile attempt to seem socially adjusted. After a week of me awkwardly stumbling through chitchat, we met and talked about the past five years of our lives while wandering the city.

With her, the words came naturally. I found comfort in being vulnerable and honest with my emotions. My worldview did an entire 180, and as saccharine as it may sound, life seemingly became more colorful. She taught me without even knowing it; things influencing me more than a year later. She would remind me of my value whenever I needed the support. I learned the importance of self-love, something I had been lacking since the beginning of high school. In a way, she was a gateway drug to a healthy social life and a happier me. And although we’ve grown apart as we continue to change and develop as people, she has probably shaped me into who I am today more than any other person in my life.