I can see life happen out of my own eyes ,but somehow i feel like it's happening without me. Sometimes i wonder how does it feel to be normal. Being a kid with no worries of life  ,ready mentally and physically for the day. I feel numb. It’s hard to wake up sometimes because i constantly fight my own thoughts , the lack of motivation it’s another day of nothing doing the same thing, i'm tired, it hurts to be awake... i just want to sleep. Sleep is like an escape those little hours where i’m in a state of mind of just sleep, No thinking ,no Doing ,no nothing being completely gone . I wonder if that's how death feels. Is it a slumber where i can forever sleep like snow white?I feel unlovable how could someone love Someone like me can they not see how broken and dead inside i feel. I can see it in their eyes they feel sorry for me i don’t want that  . I don't want the world to look at me like a lost puppy who couldn't find his way back to reality. I'm not afraid of death. Maybe when my times comes i will actually be happy.I know that sound harsh like you might say think about how your family would feel or friends. Do you not love them? It’s not that i don’t love, I do maybe alittle to much where it hurts. No one understand this but the people who go through it depression a mental illness where you are at a battle against your own mind.