Lessons from my Dad

When most high schoolers think back to their first day of Junior year, they usually think of good things like new friends, teachers, and classes. I, however, remember it as being a bad day. That day was my Dad’s wake. I left school after 6th period to go to the funeral home to help get ready. While most kids got to finish the day off with get-to-know-you games and introductions, I got to wear a suit and shake hands with close to 400 people. Even though this was a terrible day, I did take away a few things. From my Dad’s death, I learned that I have to help take care of my Mom and I also have to be strong during times when life is hard.

I suppose to truly tell the story we have to start at a doctor’s office in late fall 2013. After a series of tests, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. The news was a shock to all of us but my Dad took it like a man and fought until the end. After his diagnosis, my Dad saw many doctors and all had different opinions on how to help him. This resulted in several rounds of radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Luckily, after all this, the cancer started to shrink. Sadly, a small part of it was still there and it eventually grew back. This news brought more hospital visits, medicines, and pain. Despite the terror my Dad was facing, he still tried to act like everything was normal. Dad would come to all my games, concerts, and events. He always cheered us on and even made us laugh. One of his favorite things to do was to embarrass us by loudly saying our name when he picked us up.  Unfortunately, cancer eventually took over and he was moved to the hospital. More pain came and sadly, his body just gave up and on August 11, 2017, we all said our final goodbyes to my Dad and he went up to Heaven. The days after this were dim. What followed was a wake and a funeral that felt like a horrible nightmare. Once the funeral was over, we had to try to go back to our normal lives.

I feel that I learned two valuable lessons from this nightmare. The first learning was to be strong in tough times and the second learning was to take care of my Mom.  I learned to be strong by watching my Dad throughout his battle. He never showed his weakness and tried to act as normal as possible.  He laughed with us, he joked with us, and he started each day with a smile.  He never gave up and that is why I believe that he lived for that long with the cancer. Looking back on the ordeal, I do believe that I showed I was strong by holding myself together and helping my Mom deal with the pain. I could have broken down at the funeral and blamed everyone and everything for my loss, but that would have been like throwing coins into the
wishing well. No matter how much you wish, the dream just won’t come true. I also learned that without my Dad, my brothers and I need to look out for my Mom. My poor Mom was really broken at this point and she needed comfort.  My brothers and I provided this by helping around the house and offering hugs when needed. 

Out of tragedy comes learning and growth. Although I did not like seeing my Dad sick and having to shake hands with 400+ people, I dealt with it like a man. I was strong and did not back down. I looked out for my Mom when she needed help and provided her comfort.  I grew as a person and I hope my Dad is proud of me.