There once was a guy who I thought, can change my life for the better. But in reality, he never could. Seeing him in the hallways, every single day at school, makes me wonder how we ended up falling for one another. Then becoming strangers. Sometime I think to myself “why did I fall for a guy like him?” or “what was the real reason why I let him go?”. I wonder if he thinks about me or hates me as much as I do. I look at him and it feels like all those feelings I’ve been avoiding for seven months, comes rushing back. And I sometimes get frustrated knowing that if I ever think about trying to be in a relationship with him, will it be different? Or will it be the same? I wonder why I miss him, knowing all the damage he caused me. All the cry, all the mentally hurting, but the worst of all, all the heartbreak.

Thinking about all the promises that were once broken should’ve been my warning. A warning saying that he is not the one for me. But what does a 17 year old know anything about “love”? I get that I maybe young to this kind of feeling but I believe that God gave me this test to see how I will overcome it. I don’t think that I miss on want we had. Sometimes when we think we miss someone, it honestly means that we miss the feeling we had with that person. This may be cliché but maybe when we met, I think may have been an accidental or the fact that God may have be testing me to see what I would do. Testing me to that if I was going to fall for him or just believe that he was going to be another crush and I was going to get over him.

Life to me keeps on going and I’m learning how to be more independent with myself. But it’s not like I’m not think about him. Every second of everyday, I’m either thinking that I miss him or that I hate the way he treated me. Always depending on me or always saying the most hurtful things to me because I thought breaking up with him was the best thing for the both of us. But no one would know the outcome on how a person would react to someone ending something, think that you honestly found the one. I would rather go back in time and wish that I never met him in the first place. In reality, meeting him was the best thing that has happened to me.

By him being the best thing, he made me the person that I am today. The person that doesn’t have to depend on someone. The person that only wants to make themselves happy. Because of him, he let me put my guard up and not let those who constantly makes me so unhappy. I am happy for that I can just be myself and let those who support me, can just see the best in me.

When life throws something at a person, we either tend to dodge it or let it hit us with everything we’ve got. Most of us likes it, to see what it has in. The rest, wants to forget that the ones who causes the worse damage, we want to forget that they don’t exist and that they’re strangers to us. I am one those people. I want to forgive and forget, but it can aggravates me that I have to see him every time I’m awake or most of the times when I go to sleep. I sometimes think I’ve done the best thing for the both of us, still being friends after the break up. Hoping that one day he can change, and become the better version of himself, but that never happened. Life can surprise one. Sometimes the outcome of things are either the best or the worst. I hope in the end he could find someone who will give want he always needed, love.