“It will never happen to me” is just a lie. She thought that her mistake will never happen to her.  She is a teenage girl, with brown eyes and brown hair, scars across her body, not because of depression, because of her stupid cat. This all started with friends just being repetitive, she  wanted something different, so she got that stupid app, which lead to the problem  that affected her life, that type certain type of texting. This is the story she has been afraid to tell.

It all started  when she got an iphone, she was fascinated by the sight, she had started to fall into a deep hole of depression. So she looked for someone who would not judge her. So she layed in bed and looking through her apps. She saw an app it looked harmless, so she downloaded it. After it was finished, she went into the app and the depression lessened, she friended the people she knew, then she friended more. They acted as if they cared more than the people she thought cared.

december 11th 2015
Dear diary,

Today she went and saw a new doctor, the doctor was nice. But when the doctor asked the thousands of questions, she knew that the doctor  thought something was wrong with her. They were yes or no questions she tallied her answers and most of them were yes, and there it was. the doctor  said  that she has depression. The doctor  tried comforting her but she refused, she didn't want to hear it, she wanted everything to be the way it was. It is a constant reminder of what had happened. She wished she could escape it. She didn't know what to do. I wish could have helped her.

After the many hours of sobbing,  she finally decided to sleep. She had dreamt about her screaming and crying for help, not a head turned as she screamed as this man was pulling her away from everyone  she cared about. She screamed until  she knew she  couldn’t hear her voice, so that meant no one else would either. The man threw her on to the table and strapped her down,  she was panicked for what would happen next. Then she saw her best friend on the other table strapped down unconscious. She froze and started to cry, she was dead and it was because of her. She abruptly woke up in tears she  tried looking for her phone to text her but she forgot she did not have one any more. When she tried to run her legs were stuck. She could not move so she fell back on her bed sobbing. Her mom came in and she did not even turn to look at her, soon as she saw her she turned around trying to close the non existing door.  

(December 18th, 2015)
dear diary,

She went to the doctor again. she switched her medication, she thinks that she has depression. She took her off the the depression medication. She doesn't don't know why she did that but, she  thinks she might be a fake. But what do she know she has depression.  The magical thing that makes people think that she's insane, or in another case stupid. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After her long boring day she finally was able to sleep, so she lay in her bed staring at the ceiling wondering if there was anyway she could go back and tell herself to stop, walk away from the phone. If she could would she listen, she  pondered this until sleep came over her.  She dreamt that, she had gotten a text saying everything you know is a lie from a blocked number. She was afraid to answer this text. She finally texted them back who is this and what do you want. A few seconds later her phone began to buzz she grabbed it and it said your worst nightmare. My name is Michael. She slammed the phone shut but not after saying, yes everything I know is a lie and you're one of them. You have put me through torture, leave me alone!! Please I'm just a girl, please. I was frightened it was my past. Her phone buzzed again and she had jumped, she had to look at it. So she grabbed her phone and he said get ready I'm going to be there soon, if you're not I'm killing all your family and friends. She started to cry then a heard a bang then she woke up abruptly crying. She lay down again, and slowly fell asleep she had dreamt that she was in his car, he slammed down on the brake, and abruptly pulled her out of the car and brought her into the house and strapped her down on a wall, he left the room and he had came back a few seconds later with everyone she cared about. Her mom, dad, little brothers, best friends they were tied together with rope. He had a gun behind there back, there was a man with him also holding a gun behind the rest of them. A young woman named rachel ran up with a butter knife and Michael had pulled his gun and shot her in  the leg so she fell, she fell in front of her on her knees, he came up to her and shot her in the head.  She felt sick, she tried to move but she  couldn’t, she was afraid. Deathly afraid. She knew what the end was near for her and everyone she cared about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
January 5th 2o16
dear diary, 

It has been a while since I last wrote, it's been a months, I have had nothing to write about, she has gotten a few messages about what is happening with him, her mom has been going to the trials for these few months but today is the day, they got a letter saying they will hold a trial on February 11th this will be his last chance. I can't wait for it to be over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
February 17th 2016
dear diary,

It is after the 11th, it is the 17th now we got a call saying he might be too stupid to stand trial. So it's still going. All I ask is why is it still going? She has now started to weave in and out of trying to be mormon.She has done this since she started this awful journey. It has been a year since she made that mistake, that stupid, horrible, choice. There are times I haven't said all of the truth. She have tried to kill herself many  times.  She grabbed a piece of glass that had came off of her favorite antique, She looked at it at pressed the cold glass against her skin right next to her vien, not caring of the outcome.

March 2nd 2016

dear diary,
yesterday she went to her other doctor, she is sweet and kind, during our appointment she had asked her “how did the trial go” she responded “ I did not go.” her mom started to tell the doctor about how they had called her the day before and told them, she does not need to appear, I remember that day, she was  driving  and her mom got a call on her bluetooth when her mom saw who it was they took it off of it, but i still could hear their conversation,  her mom said “ thank you, ok”  and hung up, she asked her mom “ who was that?” her mom looked at her “our attorney” she looked at her in excitement “ what, do I have to testify?” “ no it got cancelled,” “again, when will this end!!” she pulled into our final destination, then she recalled that they were in an appointment, and her mom had just said “ they are trying to end this by saying that he is stupid, to stupid.”

Since then she realized who she really was. She was the woman who stood when people had beaten her with their harsh w0rds. She realized how much her family really needed her, how much they really care. How much people need her smile, how much people miss her smile when it's gone. One day when she was getting her hair done,  her mother took the first picture in a while. When her mom posted it on facebook, everyone commented on the smile. It was like they have never seen it before.

Time is always changing your future.  The days are short, the time with family is more precious. The people I met whilst I wrote, Her mother, her father, her siblings, and the young woman named rainey, her rough story.  This Is the beginning of her life, that one event is only the beginning.