I have always had a dream. Just one dream. For everyone to just be happy. I don't care what makes people happy, as long as it doesn't hurt other people's happiness. It is even better when what gives you joy does the same for someone else. All I need is a smile to brighten my day, and I hope my smile brightens other’s.
On June 19, 2015, I was in a tragic car accident. Me, a scared, disheveled 13 year old girl, scared and alone on the side of the road. Of course I wasn't really alone, I had my incoherent grandmother there, and eventually help found me, but alone with my thoughts, and without my family. For the first time in my life, I had nothing positive to say, or to shine light on my situation. There was absolutely nothing good about it. But then, when I was wheeled out of the ambulance and my aunt got there, I started doing everything I could to make her happy.
Looking back on it, (I am just realizing this now) when the rest of the family got to the hospital, I was still cracking jokes. Even when I called my mom from the scene, she said I sounded so calm, that she thought we had just been in a little fender bender. I know I shouldn't but I almost regret sounding so calm on the phone. If I hadn't been so calm, it probably would have prepared her for what she was going to find out at the hospital, that her own mother had succumb to her injuries. I cannot imagine the pain she was feeling at that moment, but I hoped with me being alive and well, that it gave her hope that everything was going to be ok.
I really do believe that everyone has a purpose. I never thought I needed to know mine, let alone find out what it is. If I just believe that I have one, then do I really need to know what it is? Shouldn't I just be satisfied with knowing that I am fulfilling that purpose, if that is what is meant to happen? I think my purpose is to keep people happy. To make them whole, and give them something to hold on too. However I can do that, that is what I will do. I am only completely satisfied when I have made sure that others are happy.
When I wake up every single morning, I make the conscious choice to be happy. Sometimes not just once every day, but as the moments pass, I tell myself to just let whatever it was that was ruining my mood go. I will admit, it is difficult, because making that choice can either make or break your mental health state. Almost everyone in my family has either had or has depression or anxiety, and takes medication for it or goes to a therapist. I am very lucky I don't deal with those problems, and I would like to keep it that way, for as long as I live.
When a baby is born, they are born wanting just a few things, food, shelter, and happiness. The nesseties I think. For me, I need all of those things to survive. Some people would say that they only need food and shelter, but I need the last one just as much as the others, if not more, because happiness, I believe, is my purpose. Without it, I wouldn’t have a reason for being here.
When I started therapy in July, we really only talked about the accident. Now, after becoming comfortable with talking to someone about newer issues, we started to talk less and less about the tragedy. One of the things we have been discussing lately is empathy. I was having trouble understanding how I fit into a situation, and she used the word, “empathetic” to describe me. She told me that I am very good at seeing both sides of the situation, and that I am able to have empathy for people in almost every situation
There is a person in my life that is super negative. She complains about everything, and I just don't understand it. Now I know, I do complain a lot, but I usually don't really mean it. With all of the great things in her life, she chooses to ignore them and always dwell on the negative. It is difficult, but you have to choose the best for yourself, and for others, which I believe is to choose to be happy.
Negative energy is all around us. When we talk and converse, it can be transferred back and forth. You can also take that away from each other and pass around positive energy. Just remember, happiness doesn't choose you, and you need to do what's right for yourself. It is not fun to suffer, and I decided I was done suffering. We as humans are not perfect, and I do have some really bad days sometimes, but I always try to look past them and see all of the good.
Whenever I can, I make my family play a game called, “high low high”. You state a high about your day, a low about your day, and another high, to end on a good note. I always have a million things to say for high, and just as much for low, but those don't ever push through the good moments from the day. I have built up my good memories to always shine through more than the bad ones.
Just remember that if you choose happiness for yourself, and you will live a long and happy life. Sometimes, you can’t just choose to be happy just once when you wake up, but as moments pass in your life, you keep on choosing to be happy throughout the day, like I said earlier. Find your purpose in life, and use it to your advantage.