When I walk through the halls of my three thousand student high school I avoid everyone that I used to know. I don't smile. I don't look up at all. I keep my eyes to the floor, walking straight to my classes. I don't acknowledge anyone. I avoid everywhere I used to hang out and anyone who used to be there for me. Why? It's required.

I've been hurt. I have been left physically injured and emotionally broken. These multiple occurrences have left me with anxiety which I would have never had otherwise. I had to sit out during athletics because I was too hurt to play. I didn't know why they hated me but they did, and they knew how to hit me where it hurt. I am your average high school girl who has rumors spread and gets picked on, but because my ex-boyfriend and his best friend don't like me I'm not allowed to hang out with people who do.

My freedom to be where I want and be around who I want is taken away by a fear of victim blaming. Since my counselor has addressed me saying that they cannot punish my abusers because I had put myself into the situation, she has lost my trust. Not only that but because the bullies blamed me I was required to sign a non-interaction agreement that no longer allows me to be around my friends in fear of expulsion. If I even say a word or move the wrong way and either of my bullies report it I am expelled. The VICTIM is punished.

This whole ordeal has caused me to lose every single one of my friends. I am still being bullied and talked about. These boys are trying to ruin every fresh, new, blossoming relationship I am trying to have with other people. This didn't just affect my social life. The staff in charge of dealing with this pulled me out of my classes so often that I started to fail, meaning I was unable to compete in any school competitions. These boys hurt me but now the administration was too? Why was this happening. Why didn't anyone actually do anything about this? Why were they claiming that they were taking actions to stop it when they never actually did anything? Why were they trying to say that it's my fault?

Neither boy has been punished, yet the authority in this school blames me for being there. They blame me for walking down that hallway. They blame me for sitting there at lunch. They blame me for trying to keep my friendships in tact. They blame me for showing up. They blame me for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They blame me for being a target. They blame me. The victim. Not the harasser, but the harassed. Not the abuser, but the abused. Not the guilty party, but the victim. I didn't ask to be abused and neither does anyone else. So, why blame me?