I couldn’t believe it. I had a never ending feeling of my stomach dropping as if I were sky diving. Why did this happen? How could God take away my oldest brother? I admittedly lost my faith for a few moments before I realized that it was all for a reason.

“He’s gone.”

These words echoed through my mind while my body lay frozen. Stephen immediately stood up, not in anger but in confusion, and walked outside to take a breath. A breath? I had forgotten to take one of those in what feels like hours. I checked the clock- it was 8:26, we got the call at 8:11. Its only been fifteen minutes? Without saying a word, I slowly stood up and walked upstairs to change out of my dress I was wearing for Stephen’s birthday dinner. Stephen’s birthday. It hadn’t even hit me that such a celebratory day for him has now been cursed for the rest of his life. How could a day filled with the celebration of life turn into a day of mourning?

Within ten minutes of the call, my entire family was at the house holding me and telling me that he is in a better place. I was getting angry, but soon after, the anger turned into utter sadness. Matt is gone forever? I never get to see my brother in this life again? What is life going to be like without him?