I remember sitting there trying to sob, the sky weeping with us the day you left.

My mother came holding the phone, looking horrified. She’d grab my hand as we rushed down the street to my grandmother house.

I would run pass you in fear for the worse as I came close to your resting place. The place were filled with the sicken color, it reminded us of your paled skin.
“Honey, he wants to see you. Don’t be afraid” My mother encouraged
The food placed were left to rot as one couldn't be in a mood to eat.
  “But.. Yes mother” swallowing my own despair, I knew it wouldn't do much, fighting.

I remember following my aunties around just so I wouldn't be alone. Standing by the edge of the doorway, watching you burn from a distance. I’d remember shaking my head fiercely as they handed me your ashes almost knocking the locket out of their hands.
9 years from that day, Grandfather, I think of you and the time you’re still here. I tried to remember even the tiniest details of you, stretching the mind of a 5 year old.
I know I didn't get to say goodbye but I’ll always carry you in my heart even without your ashes.
 

This little girl from years ago has grown up, the process of life will revolve around her. I've realize that I shouldn't relive the past but rather live the future. The past cannot be changed, but the future can by the choices made in the present. I’ll live my life looking forward ahead, with a future you would be fond of. So watch me dear grandfather, as I make the best of this life.